Chapter 4: Confiding and Announcing

A/N: Okay, I know that the Gibbs update is a lot longer than House's, but blame the party for most of that.

Challenge: #3064 by shelli.

Thanks to my betas: zigpal and AerynSpeedleCaine.

Disclaimer: BtVS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. House, MD characters belong to David Shore and Fox. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

Summers/Giles home

As promised, House and Wilson showed up that evening – dinner in hand. They sort of cheated by asking Joyce for dinner suggestions. What she told them had them each raising an eyebrow in disbelief. For the three men, they ordered 9 ounce steaks with the fixin's, but for Buffy, she warned them to increase the steak size to 42 ounces. In addition, they were also told to bring appetizers and ice cream.

Setting down his bags, Wilson explained the massive amounts of food they brought so they didn't insult Buffy, "We weren't sure if Ms. Summers – Joyce – was pulling our legs, but then we decided-"

House rolled his eyes at the attempt at tactfulness, then butted in, "That with pregnant women, you can never be too careful. Those little parasites can require a lot of energy. And besides, with everything that's happened today, who knows when the last time you had a good meal was." Even though his speech was less than polite, it was still said with a real touch of concern.

The Slayer and Watcher just shared an amused look; they had ordered two pizzas just that afternoon when they got home. And Giles had only eaten half of one of them. Eventually the doctors would figure out that this was her normal appetite, but they would let them think it was just because of her pregnancy metabolism. It was the Slayer metabolism they wanted to keep quiet as long as possible.

"So, what kind of yummy frozen goodness did you get?" Buffy demanded, bouncing in place – clearly showing she didn't need any more sugar.

Reaching into the bag, House pulled out the cartons. "Your mother said your favorites were rocky road and rainbow sherbet. For Mr. Giles, we got Dulce de Leche – that's the fancy name they called caramel. As per our orders, we also brought chocolate syrup, and both chocolate and colored sprinkles…oh, and gummy bears."

Buffy squealed and gave him a fierce hug before trying to snatch the treats away from him. "Oh! You are my absolute favorite-ist daddy of my child!"

He stepped out of her reach and swung the bag towards Giles. "Didn't think the competition was that fierce." He didn't want her to see how concerned she had made him with her flippant comment. How much competition did he have?

Shrugging her shoulders, Buffy quipped, "Eh, details. Now gimme the food before baby and I get cranky."

The two doctors watched in astonishment as Buffy devoured most of the appetizer platter before diving into her meal. Their eyes widened as she moaned when she tasted the twice-baked potato and specially seasoned steak. It seemed out of place for food. Doubly odd that such a petite, little girly woman would get that much enjoyment from eating.

House glared at Wilson when his friend blushed and coughed uncomfortably at the sound. He could read Wilson's mind, and if anyone was going to be thinking things like that about the mother of his child, it would be him, not anyone else.

Wilson felt House's glare and bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at the jealousy he saw in his friend's eyes. This could be good for some payback – if he could get Buffy's help. He'd have to see what kind of humor she had first.

When they were finally done with dinner, Giles told the now happily full mother-to-be, "Buffy, why don't you go relax on the porch swing while I clean up. Maybe Dr. House can join you so you can get to know each other better. We'll let dinner settle for a bit before having ice cream."

"Okie-dokie. You know I'm always for leaving you with the work," Buffy said with a teasing smile as she stretched her back. She turned to House and gestured to the patio doors. "Ya' want to join me…? What should I call you? House…Gregory…Egoman?"

Wilson knew immediately that he had an ally in pranks against House. His eyes gleamed in excitement.

"I was going to say Greg, but now I think maybe Master would be a better choice," House declared haughtily.

Buffy raised eyebrow and hid her shudder at the familiar name. "That'll happen…suuure," she drawled, then gave him an evil smile. "Ready to go, Master Pain-in-the-Ass?"

Wiping his glasses, Giles couldn't help but tease his Slayer, "Oh dear. This is going to be Xander and Cordelia all over again, isn't it?"

"Not necessarily," Buffy answered after recovering from her shock that he would tease like that. "But even if it were, would that be so wrong? After all, we are having a child together."

The Watcher knew he shouldn't have attempted to match wits with Buffy when she was in a teasing mood. "Just please try not to scandalize the hospital staff. Or get the father of your child fired for inappropriate behavior."

House's antenna for juicy gossip pinged. "Ooo, this sounds like a good story! Will I meet these people at some point so I can throw it in their faces at the most embarrassing moment?"

"Eh, Xander should be here at least for the baby's birth – if not before. Just be warned that he'll get even for anything you do to him. I'm guessing that there's a lot of people around here willing to help him, too," Buffy remarked, looking pointedly at Wilson, who just smiled happily in return.

"That's right! Cuddy and I have some great stories to share for the right price," Wilson offered, much to House's dismay.

"Ahh, I think it's time for us to go out on the porch now," House said, practically pulling Buffy out of the room – out of range of the laughing Wilson and chuckling Giles.

Once they were settled on the swing, House asked, "So, what would you like to talk about? World peace? Rice harvesting techniques in China?"

Buffy smirked at his attempt to deflect; he knew what she wanted to talk about. "Well, why don't you tell me how the med thing is going? Last time we talked, you said that you started therapy and switched to a less addictive pain reliever."

"To start with, Wilson was thrilled that you gave me that ultimatum," he announced. When she just looked confused, House added, "He and Cuddy conspired a few months ago to get me to admit I even was addicted."

"What do you mean?" For some reason, Buffy wasn't sure she liked the sound of this.

House absently rubbed his leg, not noticing that his actions caught Buffy's attention. "He told Cuddy to bet me that I couldn't go a week without any Vicodin. They knew I would take the bet because if I won, she'd let me off clinic duty for a month."

Her eyes widened in alarm. "But isn't that dangerous to quit like that? I thought you were supposed to be in a special program with help and other drugs to counteract the withdrawal effects." Forgetting that they had already discussed this, Buffy asked, "You didn't go cold turkey this time, did you?"

"It is, and I didn't," House answered, pleased at her concern for his well-being. "This time I quit the right way – with therapy, other medications and massages. It's made a world of difference too. The hell I went through during the bet was bad enough once; I wasn't about to do that again."

Deciding this wasn't exactly her battle to fight, Buffy still asked, "Did you at least win the bet?"

"Yup. And the second the bet was over, I popped a couple pills; told Wilson I might be an addict, but I'm a functioning one," he said with a small smirk.

Buffy took a deep breath and let it out. "So I guess you weren't too happy about my ultimatum, huh?" she asked quietly.

He reached over to take her hand. "The way I see it, you have every right to make some rules where our child is concerned – especially since you don't know me that well. It's one thing to be a functioning addict at work; it's quite another at home. At least at the hospital, there are people to double-check and triple-check my ideas to make sure the chances of me hurting a patient are within accepted guidelines."

"'Accepted guidelines'?" Buffy snorted at the phrase. "Sounds like lawyer-speak for CYA. Do you think you ever put anyone at risk because of your addiction?"

"Only when I was trying to quit because of the bet," he answered without thinking. When he realized what he said, he explained, "My brain wasn't too clear that week. I blame the pain."

Surprised at his will-power to stop for her and the baby, Buffy felt obliged to offer, "Well, if there's anything I can do to make your rehab easier…"

House grinned and inquired with a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows, "Does that include wearing a naughty nurse's uniform and giving me a sponge bath?"

Buffy giggled for a second, then started to pout. "Now that I'm starting to show, I'm not sure you want to see me in that kind of outfit."

"How 'bout a low-cut blouse then? Show off your increasing assets a little?" he counter-offered. He wouldn't say no to the outfit either, but decided not to risk the 'Do I look fat?' question.

She slapped him lightly on the arm in reprimand. "Oh my gosh! You're like an older version of Xander! Is sex all you can think about?"

"Hey! Like you told your friend earlier, you are the mother of my child; thinking about having sex with you is kind of a gimme," House defended himself. Actually, until that moment, he hadn't really considered it before. Okay, maybe once or twice – but not for more than a couple minutes…ten minutes at the most…at one time.

Even though she was almost certain he was joking, Buffy wanted to make it clear. "Uhh, no it isn't. At least not until we get to know each other better – and assuming we can stand each other. By that I mean, assuming I can stand you. You're awfully smug and know-it-all-y."

House laughed at her speech, then snootily corrected her, "It's called 'knowledgeable', not 'know-it-all-y'."

"See! Stuff like that!" she declare triumphantly with a poke to his ribs. "Giles is super smart too, but he accepts my Buffy-speak. Either that or I broke him years ago."

Not liking the fond look in her eyes when she talked about the other guy, House changed the subject, "I don't feel like talking about Giles. By the way, how are you about being the center of public speculation for a little bit?" he asked with an evil gleam in his eyes.

Buffy looked at him warily. "I don't know…why?"

"I had a great idea about how to deal with telling the hospital about you and the baby," House told her, feeling for the package in his coat pocket.

Her expression was still cautious as she asked, "It's not gonna involve 'inappropriate behavior' is it?"

House's eyes danced with amusement. "Only if you want it to. I got you something to wear tomorrow when you visit your mother." He took the bag out of his pocket to show her.

Buffy bounced for a second before realizing that a swing wasn't the best place to do that. "Ooo, a prezzie? Gimme!" she ordered.

"Man, you're demanding!" House griped.

She just waved off his complaint. "Uh-huh, now I want my prezzie!" He handed her a bag and she looked inside, studying it for a couple minutes. She was trying not to giggle when she looked up again. "Are you serious?"

House just looked at her innocently though. "What? Too subtle?"

"Oh man, can I at least put a hoodie on when I see my mom?" Buffy pleaded.

He peeked at it again, then asked, "You don't think she'd like it?"

P-PTH front reception area

The next morning…

When they walked in the front door, House called out as loud as he could – much to Buffy's embarrassment, "Excuse me, people! I have an important announcement to make. For those of you who don't know me, go back to what you were doing; this doesn't concern you in the slightest. For everyone else, I'd just like to say something to avoid any unnecessary rumors. The lovely young lady standing next to me is carrying my daughter. Thank you. Go about your business."

"Oh yeah, real subtle. I thought the outfit was supposed to make the announcement for us," Buffy hissed at him. She was just glad that Giles had stayed at the house to keep unpacking.

House just shrugged his shoulders. "Eh, I thought this would be fun, too."

Buffy rolled her eyes at his behavior. "You're five," she said.

He snorted before telling her, "Not possible. I couldn't have produced the sperm to get you pregnant if I were."

Bad mental image there! Buffy started walking towards the elevators. "Forget it; I'm going to my mom's room now."

"Don't forget to take the sweatshirt off until you get there!" he yelled after her.

Buffy met Wilson just outside the elevator on her mom's floor. His eyes widened when he saw the t-shirt that House gave her the night before.

"How did House convince you to wear that?" he questioned.

She was wondering that herself now that she was actually doing it. "He just thought it would be faster than explaining to every single person here. Wait, you haven't seen the back yet."

Wilson's eyes got even wider. "There's more?"

"Yup," Buffy quipped, holding the shirt out for him to read.

On the front of the shirt, the wording was: 'I am carrying Dr. Gregory House's child.' Buffy twirled to show Wilson the back: 'If you can't figure out how that happened, I beg of you to stay away from members of the opposite sex until you do.'

Buffy left Wilson – who was still trying to catch his breath from laughing so hard – so she could get to her mom. As she turned the corner, she bumped into a doctor with light brown hair.

"Excuse me," the woman said before her eyes went wide with shock/fright/some emotion Buffy couldn't identify. The woman must have read the shirt because she asked, "The Slayer is carrying House's baby?"

A/N: Just wanted to give everyone a head's up that the next several months are going to be very hectic for me, so I'm not sure when I'll be able to update any of my stories. I'm not abandoning anything, and if I get the chance to post, I will.

A/N2: Next…What's the problem with the doctor? Can you guess who it is?