Disclaimer: the Wakame taichi story is not of my own, it's a translation found at bleach asylum regarding Wakame Taichi video voiced by Morita-kun.

Renji hide behind a tree when Kuchiki Byakuya look over his shoulder. He needed to make sure he was not being followed despite being under a cloak and hiding his reiatsu. After knowing shinigamis could be traced by their smell, Byakuya had become extra careful in his Friday night endeavours. Renji was not very good at hiding reiatsu so he was following Byakuya's sakura scent from a safe distance, as not to be noticed. Because it was summer, dim daylight was still filtering thru the threes allowing him to see the path ahead. But the redhead heart was getting darker on every step. He was wondering where his lover would go every Friday evening in his absence, why was he in need of hiding. And why was he heading for Rukongai carrying a lot of paper bags under a black cloak. But what was messing with Renji nerves and hardening his heart was the soft happy smile his lover was wearing as he walked deeper into the woods of Inuzuri.

Please Kami, don't let it be a secret lover…

Then suddenly Byakuya stepped out into a small clearance and Renji jaw almost drop to the floor as his brain started to apprehend what he was seeing. He stood in silence behind a tree for as long as the noble stood in that clearance. When the night was pitch black and the firelights faded in the clearance Byakuya made his way back home, this time with no paper bags under his cloak and with a deeper smile upon his face. He would arrive home and still have time to take a bath, place a yukata, step into the bed and wait for a drunken redhead. And pretend he has been at home since he left the office. The next day he would wake up early and start cooking again.

To refill more paper bags.

Renji should be feeling a sting of something like not being told, of being put aside. Of being deceived. And he was, but the happiness filling is heart was so unbearable that his heart had no room for other lesser sensations. He stood there at the clearance entrance, feeling the wind on the trees and looking at the small house windows. The wind still whispered the smell of seaweed soup on the fires, the children laughs and Byakuya's music. The once Rukongai orphan shook his head in disbelief. That stupid smile wouldn't leave his lips anytime soon. He closed his eyes replaying the scene.

A dark cloaked man stepping out the forest with paper bags and a smile on his lips…About twenty children, Rukongai gut rats, running towards him, showing him their precarious caried teeth…leaping into his neck and shoulders…throwing him to the ground and putting their little skinny legs around him…two little girls removing the cloak and planting soft kisses on his cheeks…he getting up and kissing the forehead of every single one of them, except for an older boy, proudly extending his hand so he can shake it…The firing up of the wood…the preparation of the soup…the fire glistening on mercury eyes.

"Do we really need to eat soup today, Bya-san? Can't we just eat the cookies?" The older boy asks.

"Ryuhei-san, don't you remember Wakami Taishi (Seaweed ambassador) song and story?" the raven hair man asks amused.

"No…" the boy smiles sheeply.

"Well let me remind you then" multiple screams of joy run thru the forest.

"The old guy runed a food shop that sells wakame soup."

But all his wakame got stolen so he can't make soup

And without the wakame in their diets, the people will get scurvy and get sick, and hungry."

"Good morning, Oji-san! Oh, what's the matter? Why the troubled face?"

"OH IT'S WAKAME TAISHI"

"Someone took all my wakame so I can't make my wakame soup"

"WITHOUT THE WAKAME THE PEOPLE WILL FEEL PAIN IN THEIR HEARTS AND WON'T GET THEIR VITAMINS"

"I UNDERSTAND, I WILL BRING THE LOVE OF WAKAME TO THE PEOPLE OF EARTH"

"We're counting on you, Seaweed Ambassador! ...watch out for cars, OK?"

"On instructions from the seaweed-selling old man, Wakame Taishi went out into the world to spread the love of wakame. On the way, he saw a little boy crying of hunger."

"M-m-my stomach huuuuuuuuuuurts"

"In this place...In This Place...IN THIS PLACE, A LITTLE BOY CRYING WITH AN EMPTY STOMACH"

"HERE! Eat me!"

"W-what...eat you?"

"Yes, that's right! Chow down!"

"Is it...wakame?"

"Yup, it's wakame!"

"Um...just anpan(flavoured bread) is OK for me..."

"WHAT DON'T SAY THAAAAAAAAT"

"Listen- wakame will fill you up and make you believe! Do you understand?"

"Heed me well! NOW...DOWN THE HATCH"

"EAT IT EAT IT"

"...Wow, this is really good!"

"Is wakame really this delicious?"

"HAHAHAHAHAH SO IT IS, SO IT IS SOOO IT ISSSSSS"

"WHAT'S THIS, OH HO HO HO HO! I FOUND YOU, WAKAME TAISHI"

"That voice...I know you! Wakame's natural enemy 'Amefurashiman!'"

"Ahahaha, here I go! I'm gonna eat you!'

"No! Don't eat!...My body is losing power..."

"Oh no! Wakame Taishi, you're in danger! Here, I'll make your body new again!"

"The boy throwed him a seaweed"

"YES! MY POWER...MY POWER...I'M FILLED WITH THE POWER OF WAKAMEEEEEEEEEE"

"Chire...Senbonwakame"

"...Thank goodness"

"YAY! That was amazing, Wakame Taishi!"

"Wow! The tasty power of wakame is his zanpakuto!"

"Wakame Taishi, please continue to show everyone on earth the deliciousness of wakame!"

"Yes sir!"

"Yay! Let's sing the seaweed song, Bya-san!"

Renji sighted opening his eyes, still smiling.

Well, I don't need to remember that…song. Who's the owl now, he Bya-san? The fockutaicho of the sixth laughed, saying goodbye to the closed windows and heading home.

As much as he wanted to forget, he was whistling the song when he entered Sereitei.

"I'm the Seaweed Ambassador; I came from the planet of seaweed"

"My vitamin powers go BOOM BOOM"

"WAKAME TAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISHI"