Bioware owns the all the characters in Mass Effect, I am just playing in their playground.

Special thanks to Star who in her busy life is helping me to actually make sense when I write... It's a hard job...

Thanks to Shenzi always there for support when needed.

But especially to Sesheta, because when I was doubting, she was there to pull me out.

For all you readers who have been sticking through... we are moving on … this is a personal chapter for Shepard and Kaidan... they are inviting us inside... enjoy...

Chocolate

Shepard sat in the middle of her bed playing solitaire. The room was designed in the same sparse way as her cabin on the Normandy. Table, desk, comm terminal, a few combination closets/cabinets and a combination bathroom/shower. She didn't know if Kaidan was going to be able to come tonight. It was natural for a newly assigned officer to watch her commander, learn her style, her likes and her dislikes, but the last few days Shepard had noticed that Unwin seemed to be doing more than that; she seemed to be stalking her. Shepard suspected she knew why and if it was what she thought, and then it would be a good thing for them. She would have to see if her supposition is right. She hadn't figured out how to do that yet, but she would. The door opened, Kaidan rushed in and it closed. He had gone through so much trouble to make the door as silent as possible. She noticed he had a bag in his hand as he locked the door and slid the privacy on all in one movement.

"What's in the bag?" she pointed to the bag with the deck of cards still in her hand.

"Something you said I needed to bring with me if I wanted to talk to you." Kaidan walked towards her shaking the bag in the air.

"Candy?" her tone took on a whiny quality. "Are you going to want to have one of those damn talks about my feelings again?" she looked down at her card layout and started picking up the cards her face set in a frown.

"No, I don't think this is a feeling's thing, I think this is more of an..." he tilted his head and smiled at her, "informational thing."

"Well that was cryptic without giving anything away." her brows furrowed as she looked at him suspiciously, then looked at the bag and jerked her chin towards it. "So, what's in the bag?"

Kaidan lifted the bag and shook it again a big smile spreading across his face. "Chocolate."

"NO!" her eyes got wide and her body shook as she raised her voice, then she seemingly froze like a animal caught in headlights.

As Kaidan walked over to the bed her eyes following his every move. He opened his boots and took them off, then climbed onto the bed with her.

"You said we would talk about it if I brought you chocolate, Ari and I need to know what you think about it," he kept his voice calm as he intended to do through the whole conversation hoping to influence her reactions.

"You said this was not a feeling talk..." she looked down at her hands and scrunched up her shoulders whining again, "that is heavy feelings Kaidan!"

"Hey, it doesn't have to be," he put his hand under her chin and raised her head to look at him. "I am not asking you to stop everything and have a baby now Ari, I just want to talk about it. I want to see whether you think we have a future together and whether children are a part of that future."

She looked down at the bag as if it had something far more dangerous in it than just candy, she flicked her head at it and asked a little less whiny, "that's a big bag, did you bring a lot of chocolate?"

"yes Ma'am, I did."

"Why?" back to her normal tone of voice she narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"Because knowing you as I do…" he raised an eyebrow, tilting his head trying to keep the chuckle he felt out of his voice. "I think I am going to need it."

He watched as she got silent and still, her face and body seeming to close in upon themselves. Okay now the fun starts – god, even my thoughts sound sarcastic. She is now going to do everything she can to avoid the subject that I want to talk about; little does she know I have something else on my mind.

Slowly reaching over she put the cards on the night stand then she touched the picture of her parents (it was a nightly ritual for her to touch the picture, it is her way of saying 'good night, I love you' to them). She then scooted across the bed and climbed onto his lap.

Putting her arms around his neck and looked into his eyes and said slowly. "Are you sure I can't tempt you away from this conversation with hot sex?"

"Oh, I want the hot sex too," happily placing his hands on her hips he kissed her on the nose and smiled at her. "I mean getting chocolate here on the Citadel was really expensive," drawing out the last two words to indicate what a chore he had had getting the candy for her.

"And your friend Pete came in earlier today on a shuttle from earth and I am sure that's where you got the chocolate." Sounding annoyed she pulled her arms back from around his neck, turned sideways on his lap looking away from him and waved her hand dismissively. "It didn't cost you as much as you're pretending it did. When did you call him?"

"You know it is really hard when you girlfriend is good at espionage and figures out things with only a little bit of information." Putting his arms around her he gives her a squeeze then lets her go. "I called him three weeks ago when I knew that the ship was going to be finished and we were going to be here for a while getting her up to specs."

"So you have been planning this for a while." still sounding annoyed she looked down and squared her shoulders.

She looks like she is calculating how to avoid this conversation again and if I can't get it out of her head we will never have this discussion. Since she is still sitting sideways on his lap it gives him easy access to her neck. Reaching over he distracts her by nibbling on it, the one simple thing he could do to disrupt her concentration. She leaned into his kiss and sighed and he continued until he felt her relax against him.

Sitting up slowly he wrapped his arms around her. "So now about children..."

Trying to get up she found herself trapped in his arms, she speaks quickly. "I told you I am not good with children, what more do you need to know." She took a deep breath and folded her arms.

Tilting his head he tries to look into her eyes. "Do you want any?"

"I don't know?" looking away she shrugged and then she looked back at him raising her voice sharply. "How would I know?"

"What do you mean how would you know?" his voice a bit sharp, Kaidan furrowed his brow and frowned at her like he was trying to delve into the mysteries of the Protheans.

Putting her hand on his arm she started to pick at his shirt sleeve watching her fingers her voice takes on a soft quality. "How would I know if I wanted children, is there a feeling or something involved in it or is it an intelligent thought thing."

"Well let's start on the intellectual level first," making his voice calm again. "Do you think you would want to have children at some point in your life?"

"I think I need some chocolate." Her tone demanding, she put out her hand still picking at his sleeve with the other.

Kaidan pulled one arm from around her making sure the other still held her firmly and reached into the bag and drew out a stick of chocolate and handed it to her. Letting go of his sleeve she opened it, took a small bite then swirled the chocolate around her mouth. He waited for her to swallow then said, "Well let's start with this then," he placed his arm across her lap loosely holding onto her thigh. "Do you think it would be possible that you might want children with me sometime in the future after we defeat the Reapers?"

Taking another bite of chocolate she slowly chewed and swallowed it before answering, her voice now calm. "Well I think it could be a possibility."

"That's a very vague and rather uninformative answer."

"You want a yes or a no, don't you?" speaking quickly, her voice no longer calm but raising in pitch as she furrowed her brows and looked down. "If I say yes you'll be happy, and if I say no, you'll be pissed." Shepard snapped pursing her lips.

"Nope this is an information only discussion right now." He pulled her up adjusting her more comfortably on his lap keeping his tone firm and calm. "I am not going to be pissed at you I just want to know what I'm facing, you know, with you, in the future."

"What's wrong with talking about it then," a whiny quality creeping into her voice, turning her face towards him but looking down thoughtfully "why do we have to talk about it now?"

"Because it came up," he said trying to get her to make eye contact with him but not able to. "I want to know if you would be open to having a family."

"Well I am all for families," the whining sounds fading, she looked forward leaned her hands on his arm and played with the chocolate wrapper, twisting and folding it, "mine is great, well except my mother has ideas how I should live my life." She glanced at her parent's holo.

"I think that is normal of most mothers," he also glanced at her parent's holo.

"What about yours?" her voice is back to normal, she turned to look in his eyes. "What does she want for you?"

"She wants me to be happy," he looked at her hands playing with the chocolate wrapper then looked back in her eyes still keeping his voice calm. "If I'm happy, then she'll be happy."

"Okay, so are you happy?"

"For the most part yes," he put his arms around her again giving her a squeeze. "Now about this children issue…"

"Kaidan what do you want me to tell you?" her voice raised, she turned her face away and threw her hands up and the wrapper when flying then she let them fall back into her lap behind his arm. "I don't even know if we can defeat the Reapers since we are the only ones that believe in them." The volume of her voice slowly returning to normal. "Then there is whoever is kidnapping biotics and we haven't got even one of them back." She lifted her head and looked at the ceiling. "Do you really want to bring children into this universe?"

"If they had your eyes, and my disposition, yes," he gave her a kiss on her cheek.

"Well genetics being what they are, I think the chances are better for your eyes and my disposition," she turned her face to his and tilted her head looking at him with half lidded eyes she says snidely. "Can you imagine how much fun it's going to be running after a child that can actually set traps and put them in your way?" she gave him a sly smirk.

"Well since her mother would be one step ahead of her," he smiled at her and shook his head. "I see no problem with it."

"You really think that I can do this?" the whiny quality in her voice returning, she leans back in his arms. "What if I just want to shoot it?"

"Shepard." Kaidan chuckled and shook his head, "you would not shoot your own child."

"Well you know my temper," her voice strong now, she looked past him not focusing on anything and nodded her head, "I might." She sat up and looked back at him, "right now I think I need more chocolate."

He laughed and reached his hand into the bag securing another stick and handed it to her. He still tried to maintain the calm quality of his voice hoping to continue influencing her. "So you're open to having children with me sometime in the future?"

She frowned at him and took a bite of chocolate sucking on it and letting it melt on her tongue before she answered. "Well I guess I'm not against it," her voice sped up. "Is that good enough? Are we finished yet?"

Shaking his head at her he put his hand across her lap. "Not even close. So this would be after we defeat the Reapers of course."

"Yes I suppose it couldn't be before that, because someone would have to be pregnant," she waved the stick of chocolate in the air stressing her point and matching it with a matter of fact tone, "if you want to go the natural route that is, and since you can't be and I am not going to go into battle being pregnant…" She paused for a moment processing the implication of what she0'd just said. Her eyes went wide and she straightened her back and started talking faster. "Hey I don't think I want to be pregnant. Kaidan this is not a good idea at all!"

Rubbing her back he couldn't help but smile. "Calm down Ari, this is not a today thing, this is a future thing and we will worry about the mechanics of it later. We don't have to make all the decisions now." He kept rubbing her back as she shoved more chocolate into her mouth frowning as she chewed.

As she calmed, he asked, "So does this mean that you would like to spend your future with me?"

Turning her upper body to face him she said "Yes, I would." She frowned at him, "but you know that."

Looking upward and shaking his head before looking at her again. "No, I don't know that, because you never talk about things like that."

"Well you," she poked his chest twice with a finger her voice an octave above normal but relatively calm, "always say we when you talk about the future and when you talked about kids you said we, so…" she shrugged and looked in his eyes her voice returned to normal, "I assumed that you had it all figured out and I wasn't going to worry about it." She smiled at him.

"You would let me plan your whole future for you?" his voice took on an incredulous tone as he studied her face.

"As long as you let us deal with the Reapers first, and we survive," she nodded her head facing forward again, "yes."

"So no Shepard control issues," he lifted his hand off her lap and made a sweeping arc with it, "anything goes?"

"I do not have control issues," she said a bit snippy, "I am in charge. There is a difference."

"So if, say, we defeat the Reapers, and I want us to settle down somewhere," he put his hand under her jaw and turned her face to him. "Retire. You would be okay with that?"

"Yes after we save the universe I think it would be time for me settle down. I mean after you save the universe," she faced forward again and threw wide her hands, "what else it there?"

"And you would be okay with giving up everything, to stay with me doing whatever I decide to do?"

"Sure for the most part, I guess. Well I wouldn't want to give up my guns. I could still do the shooting range right? And I could go through Pinnacle Station right?" She looked at him tilting her head raising her voice slightly at each question. "You know, to stay sharp in case I am needed?"

"Yes, I would be okay with that." This is going my way much too easily. I wonder what the catch is.

"Well then okay, I see no problem then," her tone back to normal she relaxes in his lap.

"Okay now let's say I wanted to stay in the Alliance, and I wanted you to quit. Would you do it?"

She tilts her head thinking about the question... she says slowly; "Well I guess if you wanted me to I could. I would still be a Spectre anyway."

And there is the catch. "Well, no you wouldn't. I said give up everything. That means giving up being a Spectre too."

She shook her head voice firm "No, I don't think I want to give that up. I don't know. We'll see. I like being a Spectre," her voice took on a slow, angry quality, "but I would like it more if I had the support of the Council, which I hope to have once they realize the Reapers are a reality. You think they would believe me since I did help to defeat a Reaper in their backyard. I did save their asses too." her voice was getting a deeper, mean quality that Kaidan knew very well. "They really should start giving me more support or I'm thinking I might just have to shoot the Turian Councilor. He is the one causing most of the problems. That might not go over too well."

"Okay first off, no shooting any Councilors," his voice firm he looks at her.

"Kaidan…"

"No Shepard," keeping his voice firm but louder. "No shooting Councilors, for any reason less than self defense or indoctrination. And even then the self defense needs to be an immediate threat of death not an inferred threat!"

"But Kaidan…"

"No Shepard," he shakes his head at her making his voice deep and strong, "those are the only two exceptions! Promise me."

"But I don't want to," her voice slightly whiny, she creases her brow and thrust out her bottom lip in a pout.

"You will promise me now!" he raises his voice speaking quickly. "How long have you been planning this?"

"Well I wasn't exactly planning it yet," she started to pick on his sleeve again her voice thoughtful. "I was thinking I needed to do something. You know that would really get their attention. Let them know how serious the situation is. I was considering it."

"Yes I could tell," his voice stern and demanding, "so promise me now you will not kill any Councilors except if they are a direct threat to life and/or immediate threat of bodily harm and not just disagreeing with you. Don't fight me on this Ari!"

Shepard stopped playing with his sleeve, furrowed her brow and pursed her lips at him angrily.

"Now Ari, promise me right now!" Kaidan shook her in his arms and raised his voice.

"But if I promise you that, then I have to stick with it," she said morosely.

"Right, our agreement is that if you make me a promise, then you have to stick with it."

"But you make me promise things that I don't want to do, that's not fair." she pushed her lips out again whining.

"Fair or not, I can't have you kill a Councilor just because he disagreed with you. Not even if he doesn't believe you or because you don't like him." His voice returning to calm rationality he was hoping to project onto her; tying to get her away from this strange irrational place she liked to run off to.

"I don't like him." Shepard snapped and her eyes flashed.

"Right, promise me now!" his voice firm he glared at her.

"I'm a Spectre, I should be able to get away with it." she made her voice reasonable, sweet, coaxing, Shepard at her worst. "I could say he was indoctrinated like Saren. He is doing a disservice to the Council by saying the Reapers don't exist. He is making it hard to prepare. And besides, nobody would miss him, he is rude and mean!" she got louder with the final point her brows tight with anger.

"Just promise me now!" Kaidan said slowly through gritted teeth.

"What if I could do it and nobody would know it was me?" she raised up in his lap with excitement in her voice like she found the solution to all problems.

"No," he shook his head at her and said calmly "don't even think about it, just give it up."

"Oh, alright." Shepard frowned thrusting her bottom lip out again in a pout.

"Say it."

"I will not kill any Councilors unless I am in immediate threat of bodily harm or they are indoctrinated. Are you happy now!" she twisted her face in a grimace of anger as she forced out each word snapping out the last four sharply.

"I'm getting there." Taking a few moments, Kaidan took a deep breath and let it out slowly trying to center himself after the narrowly won victory. His voice now calm again he said, "Now about our future…"

"Chocolate!" She snapped at him holding out her hand.

"Well I think you've had enough chocolate." He rubbed her back and smiled at her. "How about a present instead?"

"I will consider it, what kind of present?" she started playing with his sleeve again not looking at him.

"Well it is something I want you to wear."

"Nothing that goes up the butt crack or doesn't have a crotch I hope." she turned her head to him and leaned it to her left scrunching her nose in dislike.

"No, nothing that would mess with your feminine dignity." Kaidan laughed.

Shepard made a rude noise. "Dignity has nothing to do with it, they're just uncomfortable," she returned her attention to his sleeve.

Kaidan pulled a small red velvet box out of his pocket. "It's in here," he held it in front of her.

"Kaidan that looks like a jewelry box, I don't wear jewelry." Her eyes got wide and her face pulled in and she stated to talk faster. "It's not a ring is it? That is really old fashioned." She pulled back from the box.

"Open it up and look."

Shepard took the box from his hand and climbed out of his lap and back onto the bed. She slowly opened the box as if a geth might be hiding inside. There was a heart locket inside. Its silver colored metal etched with an intricate design and the letters A and K on it with an ampersand to tie them together. She pulled it out of the box with a blank look on her face. She examined the locket carefully. As she followed the etching of the letters she slowly started to smile and relax. She followed the seam of the locket but when she attempted to open it he stopped her.

"Before you open it, I want you to know that what's inside will constitute another promise. So before we get to that, will you wear this for me? It's made of the strongest metal and it can easily sit under your clothes and armor without any problem just like your dog tags."

"Well it is very nice, and I like it. So okay I will wear it for you. Now what does this promise entail?"

"Okay now you can open it. It's a DNA lock it will only open for you or me."

Shepard opened the locket. Inside was a second chain attached to an intricate cage containing a small blue diamond in the shape of a tear drop. She held up the chain allowing the cage to hang loose and swing to and fro. She furrowed her brow and sucked in her lower lip, lifting her eyes to his she said "Why two?"

"That is a family diamond. My great-great-great-grandmother had it in a ring when she was married. I got it from my grandmother."

"Married?" she cocked her head at him "That is really old fashioned, Kaidan."

"I know it is. But let me explain the promise I'm asking of you. I love you Ari and I think – I hope – you feel the same way about me. If you do, I'm asking that you wear the locket around your neck. If you change your mind – stop loving me, return the whole thing to me, no questions asked. But if you decide to be with me forever, like a marriage, you'll take the diamond out and wear it instead."

"Why would I stop loving you?" her voice sharp she looked up at him.

"I don't know that you would, but there is always the chance. I might get promoted, or reassigned," keeping his voice calm he reached over to pat her leg. "We might not be together. You might meet someone else. With everything that happens to us every day, it is always a possibility."

"Actually, uh, it's funny you should say that," she said haltingly and softly pulling her leg away from him she blanked out her expression and it was like she had left the room.

"What did I say?" reaching for her leg again he gave it a shake trying to bring her back.

She closed the diamond back in the locket and made sure it was secure. She turned away seeming to take great interest in the wall, her voice soft sounding far away. "About the promotion thing."

"What about it?" he kept his voice calm he rubbed her leg trying to comfort her.

"Well, it came through. We are being promoted." Shepard still didn't look at Kaidan instead returned her attention to the locket in her hand as if trying to divine it's mysteries.

"Why didn't you tell me?" his voice was sharp, he tried to calm it before going on. "When?"

"I just found out. When the paperwork is finished, I guess; you to Lieutenant Commander, me to Staff Commander." Her voice still sounded far away, she still kept looking at the locket in her hand.

"Well this is good news isn't it" Kaidan watched Shepard examining the locket.

"Yes I guess it is." Raising her eyes to look at the wall she put the chain over her head, then took the heart in her hand, staring at it. She pursed her lips and started grinding her teeth.

Kaidan kept looking at her. Okay now I know there is a problem, but if I ask after the last two conversations she might lose it. I really wish this woman came with a manual. Grinding her teeth, she isn't smiling, avoiding looking at me. Now do I risk getting my head bitten off or just ignore it and go for the sex. Yeah, not going to happen, I can't just let her ignore her feelings, and I can't ignore them either. He put the bag of chocolate on the table and climbs across to her. He sat back pulled her onto his lap and secured her in his arms.

"So, what's the problem?" Kaidan asked in a gentle voice.

"Nothing." She stopped grinding her teeth and started playing with the locket running her fingers over the letters.

"Ari, please. I have asked you time and time again to not shut me out. If you're thinking of something I need you to tell me, so I know how to reach you. Please."

"Well, it's nothing really. I guess I didn't think we would be separated so fast. That's all." Running her fingers along the chain and back to the locket her voice is soft and distant.

"What do you mean separated? Why would we be separated?"

"Cause you got promoted. Lieutenant Commander, you will probably be reassigned shortly." She leaned into him.

"You don't want me on your team?"

"Yes I do, but I don't think they will let you stay here. You have leadership potential and they are going to want to train you for that. That means missions on your own, not in the shadow of the great Commander Shepard." Shepard said bitterly turning her eyes down in anger.

"Well it is true they may send me on some missions, I think that Admiral Hackett will make sure I stay with you, especially if you ask him nicely." He shakes her in his arms and smiles at her.

"No, I am not going to ask him nicely." Her voice had sharpness in it and her brows furrowed in anger.

"What?"

"I told him I wanted you to stay with the team. I told him I needed your expertise and skills. He said I had a good team and he was loath to split it up, but that I shouldn't hold you back." She looked at him her eyes flashing with the angry burr in her voice. "I pointed out that you were a hero in your own right and that it really should be up to you."

"Well then what are you worried about?"

"What if they offer you something you can't turn down?" the winy tinge to her voice was back and she threw her arms out a time or two with her words. "Some dream job? You had aspirations before you met me that you'd put on hold." She looked away from him and her voice softened. "The intensity of our relationship, it can't last. At some point you are going to want to pursue the career you always wanted." her voice took on a sad, resigned quality. "You want me to give up my career so we can be together. I still have to destroy the Reapers Kaidan, no one else is going to do that. I can't stop being Commander Shepard now."

"Where would I go that would be better than being here with you. What could be better than saving the universe with you, Ari." He looked at her with a sly smile trying to break her out of her melancholy mood. "Besides, I can pursue a career later when I have you in a home that I have made for us and you are barefoot and pregnant." He laughed at the squeal his words produced from her and hugged her tightly.

"You know Kaidan, the more I think about it, having a baby may not be a good idea." She looked at him and said in a conspiratorial whisper " I don't think that Spectre's are allowed to be mothers."

"That is not true." He laughed at her "You're making that up. You can be a Spectre and a mother, but okay I agree not right now. First we have to take care of the Reapers." He kissed her cheek and gave her a hug. "But truly, when this is over, I would like to know that you will be there for me."

"Kaidan I will be with you. I can't think of anyone else I would want to be with."

"Good and then when this is over, we will worry about getting married and having babies."

"Kaidan, marriage is such an outdated concept. Almost no one does it anymore."

"Ari, are your parents married?"

"Yeah, they are, but they're old fashioned."

"So? Mine are too. I am telling you that I want to spend the rest of my hopefully long life with you. But I am willing to wait for you to decide. I know it is old fashioned. I know that people do bond contracts now. I want something more meaningful than that. We can certainly do a bond contract if you want that instead. But I like the idea of marriage, it's more romantic. Will you at least keep it in mind, you don't have to decide now, you can take all the time you need. Just keep the necklace on and I will know you still love me."

"But Kaidan you know I love you, I told you."

"Yes, but a guy likes to hear it more than once in a while. I tell you I love you often. Every time I see you wearing the necklace I will know it is you, telling me, that you love me."

Shepard turned around in his arms sitting so they were face to face. "Kaidan, I love you. Please, don't ever doubt it. Don't ever doubt me."

"I could never doubt you, my love" he touched her cheek feeling tears build up in his eyes.

"Oh, you're not supposed to cry, I'm the one that supposed to cry." She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him close holding him tight.

"Yeah," he laughed at her causing a tear to slide down his cheek. "But you aren't very good at it, and I think this conversation deserves some tears."

"I think you just need more love."

As she covered his mouth with her own and he opened his so their tongues entwined. Reaching around her pulling her closer to him, his body responded to her presence with a familiar rush of heat. He felt her hands run through his hair as she tried to pull him closer. Rolling her over and pressing hard against her a jolt of pleasure shot through his body. She pushed him away, tugging on his shirt and he rolled over, and then got off the bed to undress as she watched him. Then sitting on the bed she slowly undresses throwing her clothes at him as he watches. There laying right between her beautiful breasts was the locket. I will remember this sight forever. The first time I saw the heart I gave her hanging over her heart.

He joined her on the bed fondling and kissing her. She rolled him over and was on top of him and started kissing and nibbling on his neck. He moaned his eyes half closed he tried to get up and change places with her, but she pushed him down.

"I said you need more love, just relax" she told him huskily.

Kaidan let out a low groan as she slowly explored his body, her touch gentle. He closed his eyes as her mouth joined her fingers in their travels sending waves of pleasure through him. Her slow ministrations sent shivers of anticipation through his body and he inhaled sharply. She continued to tease and tickle him until he nearly exploded with pleasure. Just as he thought he couldn't take much more, she stopped. Working her way back up his body to his mouth she again entwined her tongue with his.

He pulled her close, the delicious feel of naked, sweat slicked skin sliding over his own driving him mad. Wanting, needing more, his fingers roved about her, searching, exploring, listening as the tell-tale catch in her breath told him of her pleasure and drove him on. Pleasure flirted with pain as the need for air became secondary to the need to finish the dance, finish this ancient rhythm between man and woman and bind them so close that where he began and she ended blurred and lost any meaning.