A/N: I'm sorry for the delay, but here's the next chapter! I hope you like it, I'm sort of iffy about it...thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing. You guys all rock.
This chapter begins a few days after the wedding, once Rob and Jude have returned to New York. More info is included in the first chapter...Enjoy :-)
Standing outside Cleo's, Jude paused before opening the front door. Her heart was pounding in her chest at the uncertainty before her. She and Rob had left Toronto just a few days earlier and while they had resumed conversation, there was clearly tension in the air. Jude blamed it on being absorbed in a new article she was writing but they both knew that there was more to it than that. More that was unspoken, something that was askew between them.
She nervously stepped foot inside the restaurant, the warm lighting and familiar atmosphere bringing her an immediate sense of comfort. Across the room, she spotted Rob waiting for her at their usual table. She took a deep breath and walked towards him, saying a quick hello before taking her seat across the table.
"Thanks for coming to dinner. I know you've been pretty busy," Rob said.
"It's no problem," she responded, folding the napkin on her lap, "I needed the break from my article. And besides, I haven't seen you since we left Toronto a few days ago."
He nodded in agreement, turning to read his menu awkwardly.
"So…how have your classes been going this week?" she asked, setting her menu down on the table.
"Pretty good. That extra credit assignment I did for Economics was really helpful. The professor bumped my grade up a little."
"That's great, Rob."
"Yeah, it is."
She smiled faintly, silence setting in on their conversation. Jude glanced down at her menu again, though she already knew what she wanted to order.
"How's the article coming along?" he asked, breaking the quiet.
"Fine," she replied, looking up again at him. "The interview went well yesterday, so I just need to put together all of my notes."
"And when is it due?" he asked.
"Monday morning. 9am sharp," she replied with a sigh. "So I'm thinking I'll have to work on it for most of the weekend."
"So you won't be around at all?" Rob asked tentatively.
"I'll be around…just kind of…busy," she replied vaguely. "Maybe we can do dinner or something."
"Yeah, okay," he replied, looking back at her nervously, knowing there was plenty that needed to be discussed but wasn't. "Jude, I think…we need to talk about some things…"
Her expression immediately changed more serious. "I know. We probably should've talked earlier, it's just been so crazy—"
"I know."
"With work and your classes, I guess our schedules weren't really in synch," she attempted to justify.
"I know," he agreed, sighing. "Jude, what I want to say is—"
"Can I take your orders?" a girl standing above them asked impatiently, interrupting the flow of their impending conversation.
Slightly flustered, Jude swallowed her edginess and replied, "I'll have the chicken marsala."
"And you?" the girl asked Rob, scribbling on her notepad.
"The same," he said, handing her his menu. She took Jude's menu as well and stomped away.
Jude took a deep breath and looked at him again. "You were saying…"
"Right," Rob began again. "Jude, what I want to say is that I feel like you've been different for the last couple of weeks. You've been…distant…reserved. I'm not really sure what it is, something's just been off. I want to help, I want to be there for you, but I honestly don't have any clue what's going on and I feel like you're shutting me out."
She looked down at her lap feeling guilty. He was genuinely concerned about her, wanting to make everything in her life right, but she knew that he was unable to make the memories of her actions disappear.
"Will you let me in? Let me help you?" he asked, his eyes revealing softness and compassion.
She sighed deeply and looked into his eyes, speaking softly. "Rob, I know you want to help and I know you care about me. But I'm just…going through something right now that I need to work out on my own."
"Is it about us?" he asked frankly, his voice revealing his nerves.
She leaned back in her chair. "It's about…everything," she said honestly, noting his unsettled expression. "A lot has changed in my life over the last few years since college, and I just want to make sure that I'm on the right path. My job, my apartment…everything."
"What happened to make you reevaluate your whole life?" he asked directly, staring at her. "Was it your fight with Tommy?"
Her eyes flickered upwards at him, a mix of panic and pain reflecting in her gaze. "Rob, don't."
"Don't what? Don't bring up Tommy? Don't ask you about what happened with him?" he started, eyeing her reaction. "Jude, I really thought we were close. I thought that you and I had something special…but knowing that you don't trust me enough to tell me what went on between the two of you, it kills me."
"Rob, we do have something special, but this isn't something that needs to be discussed. Tommy and I had a fight and we're not friends anymore. That's it."
"What was the fight about?" Rob questioned.
Jude swallowed hard and then replied, "Nothing, it's not important...Rob, please, it's something I'm trying to move on from and forget about."
"Well clearly, you're not forgetting about it. Whatever happened with you and him, it sparked this whole change in you and I wish I knew what the hell it was."
"Rob, you have to trust me on this…"
"How can I trust you if you can't trust me enough to be honest about it?" he asked, looking directly into her eyes.
He was right and she knew it. How could she possibly ask him to trust her after everything she had done?
She took a deep breath and looked at him sullenly, softly muttering, "I'm sorry."
He slumped back in his chair. "Well, I don't know what to do then. I can't help you if you won't be honest with me. And I'm not so sure I want to help now."
She looked up at him in alarm, tears in her eyes. "What do you mean?"
He leaned over the table, cupped his hands over hers on the table, and said quietly, "Maybe we both need some time to think about things."
She felt the tears cloud over her eyes at the sound of his words. "Are you…are you dumping me?"
"No," he answered quickly. "I just think maybe some time apart would be good for us. You're obviously dealing with some personal issues and I'm just not so sure where I stand in your life."
"You're my boyfriend," she tried to counter, wiping her cheek to push away the salty tears.
"But you're not treating me like I am," he replied sincerely. "I want you to be able to trust me and until you can, I could use some space to think about things too."
Fear suddenly took over her system at the thought of losing him. She needed him—he had stuck with her through everything over the last year and she knew they could get through this stumbling block too.
"No," she argued vehemently, shaking her head as the tears rolled down her cheeks. "I don't want to take a break."
"Jude, two minutes ago, you told me that you're going through something that I can't help with. And one minute ago, you said that you can't tell me what happened with you and Tommy," he explained as gently as he could. "I don't want to do this either, but I think it's probably the best thing."
"I didn't mean to ruin everything," she said regretfully, the tears now rapidly falling.
"You didn't ruin anything," he replied. "I'm still here. I just want you to be happy, Jude, but you need to figure out what—or who—is going to make you happy."
She looked up at him through tear-filled eyes. "But you make me happy."
He shook his head, "Not enough for you to let me in."
She remained quiet at his response, mulling over the idea while trying to control the tears flowing from her eyes. She didn't know why she was so scared to accept that his suggestion was actually the right thing to do, but she was. She didn't want to let go.
"Can we still talk?" she asked softly.
"Of course," he responded positively. "You're still my girlfriend, this will just be us taking a little time apart. Like a little vacation. Is that alright?"
She nodded wordlessly, as silence set in over the table. Jude wiped her remaining tears, as the waitress brought out the two plates, setting them abruptly in front of each of them.
As Rob quietly began eating, she gazed around the room, watching the couples chatting and laughing at the neighboring tables. She couldn't help but be struck by another wave of sadness, suddenly feeling more alone than she had ever felt before.