A/N: This post is dedicated to all of my fellow Grey's Anatomy fans. There's one part in here that might sound familiar but I promise, I actually mapped out this scene before even seeing the episode from the show. But just in case, I don't own anything that looks like Grey's. Although I do love the show! Anyway, this chapter picks up from where the last one left off. Thanks so much for all of your replies! I really appreciate it. ENJOY!
"I decided to make the timing right."
Jude sat still and quiet as his explanation concluded, her mouth gaping slightly at the reality of his decision. He exhaled deeply in relief, feeling the weight of the last few weeks dissipate, and the truth finally come to the surface. He watched her closely, waiting for a reaction, as every second that passed made him more and more edgy.
Jude turned away and closed her eyes to take it all in. He actually had done it. He had broken off his engagement. For her. Her heart was racing and her mind was spinning, trying to grasp everything he had just told her.
With her eyes still closed, she quietly asked, "Can I…can I talk now?"
She heard him lightly smirk next to her, as she opened her eyes and looked at him questioningly.
"Yeah, I'm done," he said gently.
She quickly wiped away her remaining tears and took a deep breath. She suddenly appeared to be very tired, as though his whole speech had taken its toll on her. She was clearly flustered and still a little in shock, looking down at the carpet and nervously playing with the hem of her t-shirt.
"I…" she started tentatively, "I…don't know what to say…"
He watched her closely, anxiously wanting to hear what she was thinking. He forced himself to remain quiet as she continued staring at the ground, trying to gather her thoughts.
"I…I thought I wanted to talk, but I…I don't…" she started again, shaking her head a little in an attempt to clear her head. She timidly looked up, meeting his uneasy gaze, and asked softly, "You…you really did this? You called off your engagement?"
He kept his eyes fixed on hers while he faintly grinned at her question. Wordlessly, he nodded his head, watching as her eyes filled up with tears again.
"I just…can't believe…" Jude said, running her hand through her hair in nervousness. She looked at him again and added, "How did she…how did she take it?"
He sighed and replied, "Not well. I expected a bad reaction but it was much worse than that. She cried, yelled, threw some things at me, and then yelled some more…not that I didn't deserve any of it, because I did…"
"Did you…tell her why?" Jude asked hesitantly.
"Sort of," Tommy replied vaguely. "I told her the truth, but not all of it…I told her that I wasn't ready. That I proposed out of pure selfishness to keep her here. And that I didn't think we were necessarily meant to be husband and wife."
"And she…did she understand any of it?"
"I don't know," he responded honestly. "I think she will, once she calms down. But she was too worked up to think rationally."
She nodded in understanding, staring blankly at the wall in front of her. "I think…she knew there was something going on with you."
"Really?" he asked, in a slightly hopeful tone.
"Yeah," Jude replied, not looking at him, although he sat beside her focusing on her every word. "She told me that you had changed a lot since the engagement. She said that you had pulled away…and she asked me if I knew why."
"What did you say?" he asked.
She turned towards him, looking into his eyes and replied, "I said that I didn't know."
His expression turned regretful as he mumbled, "But you did know."
She shook her head in disagreement. "I didn't. Not all of it at least. I knew what happened between us, and I knew you weren't necessarily happy in your relationship with her, but I didn't know that the two things were related. Or…at least…I didn't know for sure."
Silence set in on the pair as Jude lowered her eyes again to the carpet, processing everything that had just been said. Her mind was still racing, trying to make sense of it all as he spoke one more time.
"Jude, you have to know that I didn't mean for any of this to happen…I never wanted to hurt Jessica. And I definitely didn't think that I'd be here, throwing everything at you like this."
"I know," she faintly muttered. "But…there's still one thing I don't understand."
"What is it?" he asked curiously.
"Tonight, you came in here and pressed me to admit how I feel about you. But you broke up with Jessica before even hearing me say what I did. Why did you do that? Why not find out how I felt before making a decision?"
He grinned lightly, considering her question. "I would've loved to have had this conversation with you before I made any decision. I wanted to know how you felt but you wouldn't talk to me. And you certainly weren't willing to listen…so I made a decision on my own."
"So you were just totally convinced that I'd run right back to you? That I'd automatically feel the same way?" she questioned, slight bitterness evident in her voice.
But he remained calm and humble, shaking his head. "Not at all. To be honest, I figured it was, at best, a 50/50 shot that you'd say what you did. I didn't even expect to make it through your front door. But I guess deep down, I was hoping you felt the same way that I did."
"But what if my answer had been different? You would've lost us both."
"True," he admitted pensively. "But once I realized that I had any kind of feelings for you, I knew that I couldn't stay with Jessica. It wouldn't have been right, being engaged to her but knowing that I had feelings for somebody else."
"So…you risked us both to do the right thing?"
He shrugged slightly. "I guess so," he replied, thinking about his actions. "It was a chance I had to take…I couldn't keep pretending to feel something I didn't."
She sighed loudly and looked away again. "I honestly don't know what to say, Quincy. This is…crazy. You can't just…break up with her."
"I had to, Jude. Don't you get it? It was the only way…"
"The only way to what, Quincy?" she said, standing up off the couch.
"To make things right," he replied earnestly, gazing up at her. "To give us a chance."
"But who says that's the right thing to do?" she questioned, standing before him with her arms crossed protectively around her body.
"Well, you did, for one…" he retorted. "What you said before, about how you feel about me…"
"I know what I said," she responded quickly. "But it doesn't mean that it's that simple."
"Why not?" he asked directly.
"I…I…I have a boyfriend…" she said vaguely, turning and walking towards the chair on the other side of the room. It was the first mention of Rob since Tommy had stepped foot inside her apartment and the first remembrance she had of him.
"Jude…" he said doubtfully, standing up and walking towards her.
"No, I mean—I really have a boyfriend. And I'm trying really hard to make things right with him," she said more convincingly, looking at Tommy.
He stopped walking towards her and took a deep breath.
"Well, then I guess you have a choice to make."
"A choice?"
"Yes, a choice," he repeated. "I made my decision. Now it's time for you to make yours."
"I can't…choose…" she said dazedly, leaning back against the chair.
"Yes, you can," he said, slowly approaching her. "You have to."
"But…what if…I pick him?" she said, mulling over both options.
"Then you pick him. And then I'm gone."
"Gone where?" she asked as he walked closer to her.
"I don't know…somewhere else. Maybe London or Miami. Or maybe back home to Toronto. But I won't bother you anymore, just like you wanted," he said, taking one more step forward to stand inches away from her.
"So…that would be it?" she asked sullenly, looking into his eyes.
"That would be it. I won't question you or fight you on it…if you really want to be with Rob, then be with Rob. I won't stand in your way," he said softly, edging in a little closer to her, delicately taking her hand in his and holding it to his heart. "But if there's some part of you that wants to give us a try, then you owe it to yourself to find out."
She stared up at him, her breath caught in her throat at his every move. "I…I don't know…"
"Think about it," he said quietly, lightly placing a kiss on the inside of her wrist. "But I really hope…I really want you to make the right choice. The one that's in your heart."
She exhaled as he gently dropped her wrist and turned to walk towards the door, seeing himself out.