A/N: I hope you all like this chapter - I know that I do. It makes me happy. Thanks again for all of you who read and review, you're all the best. I may not be able to update again until next weekend so I hope this ties you over until then. And I hope you all have a very happy turkey day! So here it is...ENJOY!
They sat in silence in the diner as the waitress came around and dropped off a fresh mug of coffee for Jude. Her clothes were still dripping all over the floor and her hair was matted and damp.
Not a word was spoken as the waitress came and left. Jude held onto the mug of coffee tightly, feeling its warmth against her fingertips, hoping to find comfort and guidance through the mug. But she sat still, trying to gather her thoughts, as Tommy watched her intently across the booth.
She looked down at her mug taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, feeling his eyes pierce into her.
This is it, she thought to herself. It's now or never.
She looked up at him, seeing the confusion and anxiety in his gaze, the exhaustion and wear in his eyes. She swallowed her nerves, ignored her racing heart, and began to speak softly.
"I know that I'm probably the last person you want to see right now…"
He sat in silence, not agreeing or disagreeing, just waiting to hear where she was going.
"…but I needed to talk to you. You said a lot tonight that was…moving," she said quietly, looking down again into her coffee. "And what you did…it means a lot to me."
He didn't budge or react to her words. He just continued to sit still wearing a blank expression as she continued, glancing back up at him earnestly.
"But there's still one thing I need to know. Before I can make my choice, I need you to tell me something," she said, her voice shaking slightly in nervousness. "I need to know…if you're planning on leaving again. Leaving me again."
His eyes immediately softened at her question, knowing exactly what she was referring to. She saw his expression change a little, his eyes glimpsing downwards, away from hers in thought.
Sniffing back a fresh batch of tears, she watched him become more distant and found herself needing him to understand her question even more.
"I know I said all of that was water under the bridge, but this…this is different than just accepting you back in my life. I need to know that you won't be running away or skipping town."
He shifted in the booth uneasily, clearly distressed by her question.
"How can I trust that it's not going to happen again? Because I couldn't handle that…" she said softly, a tear gently falling onto her cheek. "How can I guarantee that you're going to be here tomorrow?"
He exhaled deeply and kept his focus downward, quietly muttering, "You can't."
Her eyes flicked upwards in disbelief, feeling as though she had misheard his response. "What?"
He looked up at her, his eyes meeting hers across the table. "There is no guarantee, Jude. There never is…you don't know what's going to happen tomorrow."
Her jaw gaped slightly in shock, refusing to accept that this was the answer he was offering. "Are you kidding? That's your answer? That I don't get a guarantee?" she questioned, growing heated at his response.
He sat quietly trying to collect his thoughts, which only angered her more. She waited for him to keep going, to make her understand, but he sat in silence, with his eyes closed in concentration.
Feeling her anger well up even more, she quickly became impatient at his lack of explanation. She shook her head and slid out of the booth. His eyes shot upwards at her move, staring up at her pleadingly.
"Wait—"
"No, you know what, Tommy? I actually thought that everything you said to me tonight was real. That it meant something to you. But if the only thing that you can say to me is that there is no guarantee that you won't be running off anytime soon, well...that's not good enough."
"Jude, will you just wait a second?" he asked, grabbing her hand to keep her there. But she twisted her hand out of his grip and looked into his eyes, the tears now replaced by hurt.
"I thought maybe I was just being paranoid about you running away. But maybe my instincts were right…I'm sure Rob will be willing to promise that he won't be skipping town tomorrow…"
He winced at her statement, his gaze reflecting his regret.
"Just let me explain—" he pressed, standing up.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly, taking out a couple of bills and throwing them on the table for the coffee. "I shouldn't have come here. I should've just stayed home and thought this all through before trying to talk to you. Silly me."
At that, she took off through the restaurant, pushing the door open to step out into the rain again. He watched her bolt out of the diner and called her name as she left. The other patrons watched as he frantically dug a few bills out of his own wallet and threw them onto the table before grabbing his jacket and bag and taking off after her.
Rushing out into the rain, he turned both ways to see where she had gone. Spotting her distant figure running back towards her apartment, he immediately sprinted after her. He could barely make out her image through the falling rain, feeling it soak through his sweatshirt.
Reaching the intersection and seeing a red light, he watched her cross to the other side of the street and shouted her name again.
"Jude! Wait!"
Looking quickly at the oncoming traffic, he ran through the intersection as fast as possible as the cars honked at him. He made his way across and watched as she turned the corner towards her apartment.
He ran as fast as he could through the rain, seeing the distance between them diminish and her figure grow closer. He finally got within range to grab her arm.
"Jude—wait!"
He grabbed her arm, causing her to slow down, just paces from her apartment. He held onto her and stepped in front of her to force her to stop moving.
"Jude—"
"Just let me go, Tommy," she said breathlessly, trying to squirm her arm out of his grasp. "I need to go home and think about this."
"No," he said firmly, catching his breath. "Not until you listen."
"I already listened to you tonight, Tommy. First telling me that you broke up with your fiancée to be with me but then telling me that I can't get any kind of promise that you'll be around tomorrow—"
"That's not what I said," he insisted, holding her arms with both hands. "What I said was that you don't have any kind of guarantee about what'll happen tomorrow."
"Oh, and that's so different?" she questioned bitingly.
He took a deep breath and looked into her eyes, as the rain continued to fall harshly on both of them. "Just…give me a second here. Your question—it took me by surprise. I needed to think about it—about how to explain. And my answer, it didn't come out right."
She stared back at him in annoyance, tilting her head to one side waiting for him to continue.
He saw her reaction and kept his hands on her arms, not letting her go until she understood. "What I meant is…we don't ever have 100 assurance of anything. But for you, I've given you no reason to believe that I won't run…I haven't earned your trust yet, so I can't expect you to give it to me."
She shook her head in confusion. "What?"
"Jude, as friends, I've tried over the last couple of months to earn your trust again. But with this—with us—I haven't done that."
Jude still appeared to be thoroughly confused, unsure of where he was going. He saw that she was still puzzled by his response, so he made it even clearer.
"Jude, I can promise you a million times over that I'm not going anywhere. I can give you all of the guarantees in the world. But you're not going to believe anything I say unless you trust me. And I know that's going to take time…but I want to…I want you to believe in me. To trust me. To know that I would never go anywhere. That I will always be here with you. I want the promise to mean something."
"So…what does that mean exactly?" she asked in uncertainty, seeing a flash of lightening overhead.
"It means that I want to earn your trust…if you'll let me. I want to prove it to you—I want to prove that you mean more to me than anything. That I don't want to go anywhere unless you'll be there with me."
She stood still for a few moments, paralyzed by his words and taking in everything he had said. But feeling overwhelmed and more confused than she was before, she took a deep breath and looked away, hearing another roar of thunder above and feeling the rain drench her whole body.
"I…I don't know…" she said, running her hands through her soaked hair.
"You do know," Tommy said gently, stepping in closer to her, still holding onto her arms. "Just give me a chance…let me prove it to you…"
Her eyes began to water, looking away from his gaze. "I just…I don't know…"
He saw her hesitation and edged in even closer, shifting one hand off of her shoulder to her cheek, bringing her eyes back to meet his.
"Please," he said sincerely, his own emotions starting to build. "Will you let me show you? Let me prove it?"
She sighed, considering his plea, feeling her tears fall down her cheeks. She felt torn and confused. She had searched for him with the intention of taking this risk, but seeing the reality of her choice standing before her, she felt scared of actually taking the chance.
As she wavered, struggling with her internal voices, he took the opportunity to do the only thing he could think of to convince her. He brought both of his hands to her cheeks and leaned in abruptly, capturing her lips with his own.
