Chuck felt guilty for not telling Sarah. He ran to the bathroom and quickly shaved the beard that already had started to grow.
After he finished, he ran to his bedroom and knocked on the door.
"Sarah, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I shaved it already and I would do it a million times and more to prove that I really care about you. Please come out. I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you." Chuck stood outside his own room.
Sarah and Ellie now felt guilty.
'I think it's better if you open the door,' Ellie whispered.
Sarah opened the door and met Chuck's clean shaved face. He had his sweet smile on and his eyes told that everything he said was true. She didn't care. She pushed him into a deep kiss right in front of Ellie. "To hell with PDA."
Even though the two had been embarrassed to be caught kissing not an hour earlier, now they didn't care. They found the kiss growing deeper as the seconds passed. The only reason they even noticed Ellie trying to discreetly exit the room was because she struggled with the Morgan Door and had to eventually try to squeeze through the door that the kissing couple were currently blocking. Chuck and Sarah politely moved, neither breaking the kiss. Chuck blindly shut the door and Sarah led him to the bed.
Sarah's legs bumped into the bed and caused the two to fall. By this time, both needed to breathe. The kiss broke and the happy fake/real couple looked into each other's eyes.
"Whoa," said Chuck breathlessly, staring down at Sarah. Her eyes were wide open and not even an agent's training could have hidden the raw emotion on her face.
"Yeah," she answered, just as breathlessly. Chuck was always so open with his emotions, even if she had rather forced him into his declaration of love. Now why was she struggling to reciprocate?
Chuck obviously noticed the conflict that made its way onto her face, and he moved to reassure her: "Hey, I didn't say it to hear it back, but you deserved to know how I feel."
Sarah tried to steel herself for the most important three words she had ever said, or would likely ever say. Why is this so hard? she asked herself. Her throat was dry as she tried to force her vocal chords to say something, anything, that would show Chuck how she felt.
Here goes nothing, she thought as she opened her mouth to speak...
"Chuck," she whispered, "I lov...I can't say it. I don't know why. I'm sorry."
Chuck was hurt that she couldn't say it. Even though he said that he would be okay if she couldn't say the three words back, a part of him was hurt when it proved that she couldn't. But he didn't want Sarah to know that he was hurt. It was hard for her. He knew that. So Chuck offered her a small smile and said, "It's okay, Sarah. Like I said, I didn't say it to hear back. I just wanted you to know."
Sarah offered Chuck a weak smile. She knew that he was just trying to make her feel better.
Just like always,she thought. Why can't I say it? It's just three words. "Chuck, I lo..." What? I can't even think it? There must be something I can do to show him that I care. But what?
An idea came to her then. Before she could stop herself, she blurted, "Chuck, I don't know why I can't say those three words, but I think that I can tell you something that will maybe let you see that I lo....care about you greatly."
"What?" Chuck asked excitedly even though he didn't want to pressure Sarah into saying or doing anything.
"My real name," Sarah began.
"But I already know your real name," Chuck said confused. "It's 'Jenny Burton'."
"No," Sarah said, shaking her head. She was glad that he remembered, although she knew he would. "My real name is..."
Sarah took a deep breath, and her hands were shaky. Wow, it's been a while since I shared something real about me with someone, she thought to herself. She looked into his eyes and was about to say her real name when Chuck stopped her with a soft kiss.
After they parted, Chuck whispered in her ear as he hugged her "You don't need to share it now. I know you how you are. I love you as Sarah Walker and I'm sure I'll love whatever name you have too."
That made Sarah want to cry; she thought that she didn't deserve him.
"I want to share with you something really special to me, so that I can demonstrate how much I care about you." Sarah returned the embrace.
"Your presence here with me is all I could ask for. You're my greatest gift in life."
Sarah was shocked beyond words. Not even her father had come close to saying that to her, yet despite her best efforts; all the heart wrenching moments she had no choice but to put Chuck through, he still saw her as the greatest part of his life.
"Chuck, do you really mean that?" she asked timidly, sounding more like an unsure schoolgirl than an emotionally hardened CIA agent.
"Of course I mean it," he answered. "I wouldn't have become what I am today without you."
"You've always had the potential to do anything you wanted," she reassured him.
"But you unlocked that potential. Everything 'heroic'"-he made the air quotes to show his skepticism about that particular point- "that I've ever done has been, in one way or another, for you. Jumping off the Buy More roof; I couldn't have done that if it was Casey she had hostage."
"What about when you were with Jill? That really hurt me, you know? Can you really say that everything you did then was for me. Look me in the eyes and tell me that."
Dammit Walker! she berated herself,why did you have to go and bring that up? Surely there's a better time?
Chuck was not put out by Sarah's obvious dislike, and he liked to think jealousy, towards his ex. In fact, he thought it was cute. He shrugged in response to Sarah's questioning, but Sarah was having none of that.
"I want an answer, Chuck," she said. And it was the truth. She didwant to know, but she also knew that she could have asked him at any other time. She blamed Jill and her traitorous, boyfriend stealing, brunette, science loving self for the inopportune questioning. It was Jill's fault for making Sarah feel the way she felt when all of the drama happened. It was Jill who was making her ask these questions now. Or at least that was the reason she was sticking to.
"Well, Sarah," Chuck said, "I can't say that I did that totally for you. I was hurting too and I see you with marks. I saw you with Bryce. And at the time, you had repeatedly told me that nothing was ever going to happen between us. That it couldn't happen. Jill came back. She was my chance to return to normal. Of course, that turned out not to be true, but at the time I thought it was. Then when I realized that everything was perfect like I thought it would be, I still had feelings for Jill. But throughout all of that, I never stopped thinking about you. I just...it was a mistake. I see that now. And I can't take it back. But, while it wasn't done totally for you, I thought that without me you would be able to date anyone you wanted. Someone you liked. Someone like Bryce or Cole. A hero."
"Chuck," Sarah said, "how many times do I have to tell you that you are a hero? That you are the guy that I want? Not because you're the Intersect. Not because you know kung-fu. But because you're sweet, funny, charming, amazing, and everything that I've always wanted and needed. I was just too blind to see it at first. Chuck, I love you for you."
Both Chuck and Sarah paused. Chuck wasn't quite sure that he heard her right and Sarah wasn't sure she had actually said what she thought she said. The room was quiet. The two silently replayed the last few moments in their head. Suddenly Chuck smiled him million-watt smile, the smile reserved for Sarah and Sarah alone.
"You said it," he said simply.
"Yeah," Sarah agreed, "yeah, I did. And I meant it, Chuck."
"I know you did," Chuck said before pulling her into a kiss.
Chuck led Sarah to his bed, their lips never apart. They fell on the bed. It was a special day for them.
A heavy make out session commenced, and it all seemed too good to be true. Mostly because it was, as they heard the doorbell ring.
Sarah was starting to pull away, but Chuck pulled her back to him. "Leave. It. To. Ellie" Chuck said between kisses. She let it go.
------
Morgan had already left with Anna. She practically dragged him out of there. Apparently, she didn't like beards either.
Ellie wondered who it could be this late at night. She went to open the door.
"Hi, do you know where I can find Sarah Walker?" a tall red head asked Ellie. "I'm her best friend. Carina."
Ellie was surprised that Sarah hadn't mentioned Carina in the past, but then she realized that Sarah didn't much like to talk about her past to anyone, so it was certainly conceivable that she wouldn't have mentioned Carina.
"Yeah, sure. She's with Chuck at the moment, shall I get her?" asked Ellie, motioning vaguely towards Chuck's bedroom.
"No, it's alright. I want to surprise her. Would it be okay if I could just go in and see her?" responded Carina.
"No problem at all. I'd knock first though," was Ellie's helpful advice, allowing Carina to enter the apartment.
"Thanks...Elizabeth wasn't it?" said Carina.
"Ellie," said Ellie in annoyance.
"Of course, of course. I probably should have known that. Where is Sarah?"
"The room at the end of the hall."
"Thanks," said Carina as she began walking towards Chuck's bedroom door.
A/N: Thanks to Pez for the beta! And to the wonderful authors that contributed to this story! (:
Enjoy the Chuck episode tonight! I'll see you back here tomorrow for another update of some sort. lol. Please review! I know the authors would appreciate it.