A Little Bit More

It's only a kiss
If you make it a kiss
So why you wanna fake your way
Outta this one
Well, it's only a sin
If you make it a sin
We all guilty so why not give in
To this one
To this one
To this one
All you have to do is
Just give yourself the green light

(Jamie Lidell – Green Light)

A/N: I usually never do songs but I've had this very apt one stuck in my head. The title of the chapter is from a Jamie Lidell song too so double ohhh! I love musicians who are super nice when you meet them, and let you jump on them and hold you in their arms while your friends take a picture. =)

Also, much thanks to Amywilleat-you for doing fan art for this fic. You can see it here (remove the spaces): http: /img7. imageshack. us/img7/4310/dessinfanartbleachlostc. jpg

"Hey, kid, want some food or something?" Shuuhei asked, putting his hand on Ichigo's shoulder. "I'm getting up to grab some more sake."

"Um," Ichigo blushed a little at the close proximity of Shuuhei's face and the intimacy of his hand casually hanging off of him. "Ha ha, no! I'm fine!" he managed to get out.

Across the way there were a couple of incredulous looks.

"Can you guys let me out?" Kira asked Ikkaku and Yumichika.

He walked up to the bar where Shuuhei was ordering.

"Hey Shuuhei, been ok?" Kira asked.

"Yup," Shuuhei said simply.

"That sure was a funny story you told me about Renji getting you and Ichigo back by tying you up in that closet," Kira continued.

Shuuhei laughed a little. "Yeah, he sure got us back."

"I remember you saying something about Ichigo saying that he loved you too," Kira said.

Shuuhei looked at him, noticing for the first time that although Kira seemed like he was lightly bantering he looked completely serious. "Yeah," Shuuhei answered.

"It's just that…" Kira began. "Well I mean, obviously you shouldn't just completely change your relationship with him because of that or anything but…"

Shuuhei was just looking at him like he had no idea what Kira was talking about.

"It seems kind of like you're leading him on," Kira finally said.

"What makes you say that?" Shuuhei glanced back at the table where Ichigo was laughing at something that Rangiku had said.

"Shuuhei…" Kira trailed off.

"Its fine," Shuuhei assured him, getting his sake and heading back for the table.

Ikkaku and Yumichika looked at Kira as they moved to let him back into the booth. He gave a tiny shrug.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!" Rukia yelled.

Ichigo sat up quickly. He hadn't been sleeping necessarily, but he definitely hadn't been paying attention either.

"Oh, hey Rukia," Ichigo said. "Do you want to not yell so loud in my office, it bothers people."

"Are you kidding? How often do you and Renji yell at each other?" Rukia sniffed. "Wait, don't answer that, because I don't care. All I care about is that you didn't tell me that you got tied up in a closet with Shuuhei! Naked!"

"Considering you've been gone on a mission and just got back last night…"

"Yes, LAST NIGHT. You couldn't have told me then? This is important!" She said.

"I kind of thought you might want to see your boyfriend," Ichigo suggested.

"Oh, he visited me when I was on mission anyways," she said, waving her hand at the idea dismissively.

"Um, I don't think he's supposed to do that."

"And um, I don't think it's your business," Rukia snapped back.

"How is that not my business but you can freak out that there was a ten hour delay on you finding out about Shuuhei and I?" Ichigo asked.

"I'm a woman, that's all there is to it."

"…wait…so just because you're a woman you get amazing powers of knowing all information first or getting mad?"

"Yes."

"You do know that Renji and Byakuya are sleeping together, right?" Ichigo said, fully knowing that she didn't know.

"WHHHHAAAATTTT!" she screamed.

Ichigo quickly picked up his soul pager. Renji was out of the office but he knew that Rukia was going to find him, and seeing how fast she had blazed out his office it was going to be soon.

"Hey Renji," Ichigo said into his phone.

"Yeah?" Renji panted.

"Rukia in on the way and she's gone full blown banshee. If I were you I'd go into hiding until it's over. Maybe you should join a monastery," Ichigo joked.

"What happened?" Renji asked.

"You and her brother happened."

"YOU SAID YOU'D LET ME TELL HER!"

"Whoops," Ichigo said, hanging up the phone. He knew that Byakuya and Renji had already decided to gradually let people know. It wasn't a secret; they just hadn't gotten around to revealing the information to everyone yet. Byakuya didn't really see how it was most people's business, but Rukia was definitely on the top of the list to have been told. She had been away though and he hadn't wanted to tell her over the phone. Oh well, Ichigo thought, albeit with a slightly smug smile on his face.

"I don't get it," Ikkaku said, leaning on the office futon. "I mean, obviously I didn't want Shuuhei to go all weird straight guy freak out on Ichigo or anything, but this is just bizarre."

"I know," Yumichika said, finishing up some paperwork by forging Kenpachi's signature, like he always did. He doubted anyone at the bureaucrat's office had ever even seen Kenpachi's real signature. He stopped to think. Had he ever seen Kenpachi's signature? Huh. Kenpachi could write, couldn't he?

"It's like he's being even more friendly and physical with Ichigo that he was before," Ikkaku continued.

"Yeah, he'd better be careful, he might wind up hurting Ichigo even more," Yumichika mentioned.

"Who's hurting my Ichi?"

Ikkaku and Yumichika looked up.

"Uh, lieutenant, we didn't see you there," Ikkaku said.

"That didn't answer my question," Yachiru said, her hands on her hips.

"No one!" they both answered quickly.

It was a couple of weeks later and their friends were still wary of the way that they acted towards each other. Both denied anything was wrong. Ichigo didn't really see why Renji was mad about it. If Shuuhei was just a little more friendly with him than he used to be, he was going to enjoy it. He had been scared that Shuuhei wouldn't feel ok sleeping over at his place after staying out late, or wouldn't want to sit next to him because he'd be too close, the fact that Shuuhei didn't seem to care at all about that stuff just made his life easier…and happier. He knew he looked like an idiot for always getting flustered or blushing a little when Shuuhei got too close, but it didn't bother Shuuhei so why should it bother him?

"Hey, see you later Ichigo," Shuuhei said, ruffling his hair.

Ichigo flushed slightly even as he tried to fix his hair. "Yeah, bye," he said with a smile, beginning his walk home.

They had planned on going out but it was raining so hard they decided to stay in instead. It wasn't like Shuuhei didn't have tons of food around anyways. So they made some quick dinner and Shuuhei sipped at some sake while Ichigo relished some of the soda that he had gotten sent in a care package from the land of the living.

"Mmmm," he hummed happily to himself, feeling the bubbling feeling of the coke.

"Someone looks happy," Shuuhei joked from the other side of the futon.

Ichigo just smiled.

He was waiting to go home but the rain wouldn't let up. He could just leave and brave the wet until he got home, but Shuuhei had started a fire and it was nice and toasty. When Shuuhei noticed that Ichigo was starting to doze he tossed him a large fluffy blanket.

"Aw, my favorite blanket," Ichigo said, nuzzling it.

"I already said you can't have it," Shuuhei mockingly warned.

"This blanket and I have a very special relationship and it's very rude of you to intervene," Ichigo said, almost immediately started to drift off to sleep. "I think I must have had one like this when I was a kid because it always makes me so…," he was already out cold.

I wish I could sleep like that, Shuuhei thought to himself. It took hours and a very dark room to get him to a place where he could just conk out like that. Usually a bottle of sake did the trick as well. He looked at the peaceful sleeping face of Ichigo and wondered if he looked that carefree when he slept. Shuuhei yawned and stretched out, getting into a better position on the futon.

He didn't know how much later it was when he woke up. All he knew was that he had wound up a lot closer to Ichigo than he last remembered. It's probably the blanket, Shuuhei thought. He had buried his cold limbs into the blanket and was now clutching at Ichigo's sleeping form. Shuuhei began to try and get himself untangled without waking him up, but of course the second he tried to move Ichigo's eyes opened sleepily.

"Mmm?" Ichigo asked, looking up into Shuuhei's eyes.

"Um…" Shuuhei was feeling a little caught. It was like there was something holding him in place so that he couldn't back away. Being this close to Ichigo was unnerving though. Actually, it was worse than unnerving. He felt his heart pump a little faster as those soft brown eyes connected with his and refused to look away. Shuuhei leaned forward a little, then put his hands around Ichigo's head and neck, and kissed him. It was a slow kiss, a sleepy kiss.

Ichigo hadn't been fully awake at first but he was definitely now. He barely kissed back, just taking in Shuuhei's embrace.

Shuuhei pulled away, putting his forehead to Ichigo's, his eyes closed. Ichigo could hear his breathing. Then Shuuhei was pulling him towards him again, in a tighter embrace, his lips seeking Ichigo's own. Ichigo wanted nothing more than to allow himself to completely melt into them, but instead he did something else.

He put his hands on Shuuhei's chest, preventing him from coming any closer. Shuuhei looked at Ichigo, still with half lidded eyes. "I should go," Ichigo whispered, his voice trembling slightly.

"Really?" Shuuhei asked quietly.

"Yeah."

Outside it was still raining but Ichigo took the time to pause and stare up at the cloudy sky. He laughed to himself, and then again out loud. I am such an idiot, he thought with a broad smile. Oh well, he thought again, walking home.

Shuuhei was facedown at his desk, his hands over the back of his head, almost pressing him into the wood deeper.

"You ok, Shuuhei?" Kisuke asked.

"I…," Shuuhei started, not looking up. He took a deep breath. "I kissed Ichigo last night."

"WHAT?"

Shuuhei's head shot up and Kisuke looked towards the door. Renji was standing there holding a sheaf of papers. Renji shoved the papers at Kisuke and grabbed Shuuhei by the collar of his shihakusho and starting dragging him from the room.

"Captain Abarai!" Kisuke said behind them authoritatively.

Renji turned and looked, not releasing Shuuhei.

"I've grown fond of my lieutenant. Don't break him," Kisuke warned.

"I'll get him back to you," Renji growled, and starting moving again.

"Please, Renji," Shuuhei begged in the hallway. "At least let me walk. I'm in my own squad."

Renji could care less what Shuuhei's squad thought of him but let him go anyways. "We're going to Ichigo," Renji told him.

Shuuhei paled a little. "Um, yeah," he agreed.

Ichigo was very surprised when Shuuhei was propelled into his office. Renji stood behind him, his arms crossed.

"H-hey," Shuuhei got out.

"Something wrong?" Ichigo asked, looking at the two of them.

"Well, about last night…" Shuuhei said. God this was terrible. Ichigo was going to hate him forever, Renji was going to kill him, and it was pretty much all warranted. I'm such a scumball. "It's just that…I didn't mean…I mean, it's not like I like…"

"I know," Ichigo said, cutting him off.

Renji and Shuuhei just stared.

"You…know?" Shuuhei asked.

"Why do you think I left?" Ichigo asked. "Now both of you go away, I'm behind on some things."

He ignored the two of them until they were gone. When he couldn't feel them anymore he closed his eyes and counted to ten. It's ok, he told himself. He passed a hand over his head and then got back to work.

"He's too good for you even just as a friend," Renji said to Shuuhei before leaving him.

"Yeah, I know," Shuuhei sighed.

"How the hell did you let that happen?" Rukia demanded to know.

"You know, I leave you and captain I-might-or-might-not-wear-woman's-panties alone," Ichigo said.

"If you want my advice you should…"

"I don't," Ichigo cut her off. "If you want to play matchmaker why don't you help your captain? Poor guy has…" he stopped suddenly.

"Has what?" Rukia asked instantly.

"I'm not going to talk about it, it's personal to him. If you want you can pry around, but I'm not going to say anything about it," Ichigo said.

My captain likes someone? Rukia thought. Well, it's time to go and recruit some spies.

"It's exactly the sort of thing I was warning you to stay away from," Kira groaned.

"I know, I know," Shuuhei said, taking another drink of sake.

They were lying on Kira's floor on giant cushions.

"I was so upset in the morning that I just didn't want to see him. I didn't want to have to explain that it didn't mean anything to me. I didn't want to see the look on his face," Shuuhei said.

"You said he was fine though," Kira said. "Well, as fine as you can be while continually having your heart stomped on by your best friend," he added.

"Damn it, Kira," Shuuhei said. "Yes, he wasn't…mad at me. That doesn't mean the whole situation doesn't suck."

"He's entirely too forgiving," Kira said. "I would've at least told you we couldn't be friends."

"That's the thing, he still fucking loves me. I can see it in his face all the time. Even when I was there telling him that I kissed him just for the hell of it, he just sat there and took it."

"Well, why did you kiss him?" Kira asked.

"I was drunk."

"You and I get drunk all the time. You've never tried to kiss me," Kira mentioned. "We've even slept off a couple of drinking nights together in the same bed."

Shuuhei didn't have an answer to that.

"There was one other time in your life when you liked a man," Kira said.

"There was not," Shuuhei disagreed.

"Kensei Muguruma," Kira said.

"Totally different. He was my hero."

"Oh? You never once thought of him as anything else?" Kira asked.

Shuuhei paused. "I had a very, very brief phrase, but it was nothing."

"Fine, it was nothing, but it shows that you can at least sometimes be attracted to men. It's not always one side or the other, or even just bisexual, there's a spectrum."

"I doubt it."

"Ok, so Ikkaku almost always likes women, but he's absolutely over heels in love with Yumichika. Yumichika exclusively dates men and is creeped out by the idea of being with a woman. Rangiku is…I don't know, omni…anyone that's interesting to her, barely paying attention to what sex they are," Kira continued.

"Well, I'm straight."

"No, I'm straight," Kira said. "You're almost straight."

"I don't think…"

"Did you enjoy your kiss?"

"…yes…but that was just because…"

"Whatever the qualifications, you enjoyed it, right? As in you maybe wanted even more?" Kira asked.

"I…would've at least kissed him some more if he hadn't left," Shuuhei admitted.

"I'm going to tell you a story. Back at the academy during the last couple of years, Renji and I were roommates and got to be really close. We were in the advanced class, and you know how hard that can be, especially trying to stay in the upper slots like we were. We worked and trained hard, so it's not like we had a lot of time for other things. One night we both snuck in some sake and got totally wasted. I think we had just finished our combat finals and were celebrating. One thing led to another and we wound up kissing. I don't even know who started it, but there we were, kissing."

"Holy shit! Why haven't you told this story before?" Shuuhei asked, shocked. "Kissing Renji is a big deal!"

"Except it wasn't," Kira said. "It wasn't because I'm completely straight and even though he was a good friend and we were both drunk and hard up, that kiss was absolutely nothing to me. Not the 'nothing to me' you're talking about with Ichigo. I mean it was the equivalent of kissing a steak or something, nothing at all behind it."

"Maybe Renji is just a bad kisser," Shuuhei laughed.

"I doubt Captain Kuchiki takes second best," Kira grinned.

"What exactly are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying you might want to go for it," Kira suggested.

"Go for it? You mean…go for Ichigo?" Shuuhei paused. "It's different when you're talking philosophically and when you're talking about your best friend. He's not someone I can experiment with. He means too much to me for me to lose him."

"That's why you were so miserable after you kissed him, right?"

"Yes."

"See. The fact that you had kissed another man didn't really upset you, the fact that you might not have that man in your life anymore upset you," Kira said.

"I…" Shuuhei floundered.

"Think about it, but I really mean think about it."