Return of the Resisty

While things on Earth were going along at their normal catastrophic pace, things were changing even more drastically in the Irken Empire.

"Oh no! I can't believe this!" Purple yelled at the top of his lungs. "We're out of donuts!"

"Again? Didn't we get a machine or something to make more?" Red grumbled as the Tallest lounged about in their palace. They were both reclining on a luxurous purple and red couch surrounded by snacks and fawning attendants. Computers and fancy screens adorned the marble like walls of the palace and there were sculptures of Red and Purple everywhere.

"We did but it's broken again," Purple groaned. "And the repairmen say that they have to work on our pretzel machines first."

"Lazy little…" Red grumbled. "Why don't you eat some candy bars?"

"My snack machine's broken again," Purple moaned.

"Well then have some chips! Or pretzels! Or any other crap that's on this table! Do I have to think of everything?" Red snapped as he pointed to the table with snacks on it. "I swear you're getting just as lazy as those idiot Shorties we boss around all day!" He leaned back in his comfy couch and sighed. "Ugh it's so hard being the smart one!"

"You're not the smart one," Purple frowned.

"Well I'm sure as Hell not the stupid lazy one!" Red snapped.

"My Tallest! We have an urgent message from Splortch from Planet Bloom!" An Irken attendant ran in before Purple could make a comment.

"What does that little suck up want now?" Purple groaned. "Can't it wait?"

"It's a Priority Plaid message my Tall One," The Attendant bowed politely. "I think you'd better check it out."

"Oh fine, bring the transmission in here," Red waved to a huge screen. "I swear if it isn't one thing it's another."

"Yeah it's such a burden being tall and magnificent," Purple munched on some chips. "What's a Priority Plaid message anyway?"

"It's code for something," Red thought. "Can't remember what. Oh well. At least Splortch is somewhat tall so it has to be at least kind of important."

The transmission went on. There was the huge headed Irken Invader, looking battered and bloody. There was a destroyed SIR unit in the background and smoke in the air. "My Tallest! Help me! I've lost control! It happened so fast! One minute I was reviewing the progress made by my native slaves and the next thing I knew they were shooting lasers at me! Lasers! My SIR unit is destroyed and And there's these ships that just came out of nowhere and started shooting at everything and oh the horror! The horror! Help me my Tallest! Help me!"

There was a series of very loud knocks and banging to be heard. "Oh no! They're coming for me! I have nowhere to run! Help me my Tallest! Help me!" Splortch screamed as alien tears leaked from his eyes. "I'M SO SCARED!"

There was a crash and suddenly Splortch was surrounded by several angry pink round looking aliens carrying guns and several sharp pointy objects. "Your reign of tyranny is at an end, Irken!" A pink alien screamed in a high voice.

"AAAAAHHH!" Splortch screamed as he was fatally shot, stabbed and set on fire by the aliens. Then the screen went blank.

The Tallest were horrified. "I just remembered what Priority Plaid meant…" Red gulped. "It means an uprising of a conquered planet!"

"A successful uprising of a conquered planet," Purple gulped.

"To be fair we haven't had one of those in over three hundred years," Red said. "I mean no wonder I forgot what that meant!"

"My Tallest! We have another Priority Plaid transmission coming in!" Another Irken said as he ran in. "Planet Vort has rebelled!"

"Vort? That's one of our greatest scientific laboratory planets! It's the planet we conquered to keep all their scientific advancements for ourselves!" Purple gasped.

"Apparently my Tallest they kept a few of their greatest weapons a secret and used them to take back control of their planet," The Second Irken said. "And they uh…Secretly sabotaged some of the weapons they gave us."

"How?" Red asked.

"Well for one thing those guidance systems they installed in some of our most powerful battle cruisers don't work very well," The Second Irken said. "We had an entire squadron crash into a sun."

"Oh…" Red blinked. "But Vort has some of our strongest, toughest soldiers guarding that planet! How could those weak little short horn heads defeat them?"

"Well uh…The weapons of the guards and soldiers on Vort were made by Vortian Slaves," The Second Irken continued. "Who apparently programmed them to self destruct when a certain frequency was sent out. And the scientists hit some button that sent a frequency all over the planet…"

"I get the picture," Red groaned.

"I take it there's a lot of casualties on our side?" Purple blinked.

"Yes. Very messy casualties my Tallest," The Second Irken sighed. "They also put the same program in a lot of tanks and death bots."

"I see…" Red sighed.

"Quite a few space ships too," The Second Irken kept talking. "Plasma cannons. A few handheld weapons. Some computers in the command offices. Snuck them into a few barracks and put them in a few music systems. You know how some of the troops really like to get down and boogie."

"Yes I get the picture here!" Red snapped. "So what you're telling me is basically nearly all our troops on Vort are dead?"

"Dead or severely maimed, yes…" The Second Irken sighed. "Except for a few high level commanders and scientists. They're being held hostage. Or the Vortians are just waiting until they build a gallows. From what we've heard on the transmissions they're a bit undecided. But they are definitely torturing them for information. Or revenge. Or both."

"Well that's just…Great," Red groaned. "Call the fleet and…"

"My Tallest!" A third Irken ran in. "We have another Priority Plaid Message!"

"Another one?" Red gasped. "From where?"

"Planet Plupen my Tallest."

"Plupen? How can there be an uprising on Plupen?" Purple asked. "There's no indigenous life forms on that planet!"

The transmission came on screen. "HEEEEEEEELLLPP!" An Invader was being tossed around by clouds of tiny black insects.

"Oh wait I guess there are life forms there," Purple blinked. "They must have been a bit too small to notice."

CRACK! SMASH!

"Ooh that has got to hurt," Red winced.

"I don't want to clean up that mess," Purple agreed. "Shut it off! Shut it off!"

"My Tallest! We've just gotten another Priority Plaid transmission!" One of the Irken technicians got a message. "This one is from Planet Oatfood."

"Oatfood? Are you sure?" Red asked.

"Oatfood is a farming planet! It's one of the most peaceful planets in our empire," Purple said. "In fact they were so peaceful they asked us nicely to be part of our empire. We didn't even need to invade it! We just send someone moderately tall down there every couple of decades to keep things running smoothly and make sure the crops go to Foodcourtia!"

The images that came next on the screen told a very different story. "Apparently it's not so peaceful anymore," Red winced. "I never thought of using a sheep like that!"

"Wait where did they get those lasers? Lasers are outlawed on that planet!" Purple shouted. "Where did they get them? And why are they rebelling?"

"Well they were complaining about the higher taxes," Red said. "I guess they meant it."

"Yeah that's usually how these things start," Purple agreed.

"My Tallest! We just got a transmission from the Planet Conventia!" Another Irken ran in. "The Convention Planet!"

"Don't tell me it's another Priority Plaid?" Red asked.

"Worse…" The Irken panted. "They…won't renew our lease! And your private box…Has been sold!"

"The one with the private fridge, personal bathrooms and the massage chair?" Purple asked.

"The very one, my Tallest."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Purple screamed. "WHY? WHY?"

"Details are sketchy," The Irken told them. "Something about missing a couple payments and someone else bought out the rights to that planet."

"Who?" Red snapped.

"The Meekrob," The Irken explained.

"Meekrob? Wait, didn't we send someone to a planet called Meekrob?" Red asked. "Invader Tenn! Call her!"

"Uh Sir, she's calling us!" An Irken said. "Priority Plaid."

"Of course it is," Red sighed. "Put it through…"

"HELP! HELP! I NEED HELP! AAAAHHHHH!" Invader Tenn screamed at the top of her lungs on the screen.

"Invader Tenn! Report on the situation on Meekrob!" Red called out.

"You want to know about the situation on Meekrob? I'll tell you the situation on Meekrob!" Tenn shouted. "The Meekrob saw me coming a mile away! I tried to blend in but it was impossible! They just…They just saw right through my disguise!"

"They saw through your disguise?" Red gasped. "But you were the best cadet in disguise and infiltration classes we had!"

"I know! But they have all this advanced stuff that made it impossible for me to blend in!" Tenn yelled. "I've been running ever since I got on this insane planet! Hunted night and day! I even called in Invader Krum and his armada to help me!"

"Oh yeah how is Krum?" Purple asked. "I haven't heard from him in a while."

"That's because he's dead! They're all dead!" Tenn sobbed. "The Meekrob blew his armada out of the stars!"

"Ooh sorry," Purple winced.

"Are you kidding me?" Red shouted. "That guy owed me money!"

"I don't have much time! I don't dare stay in one place!" Tenn gulped. "They…AAAAHHH!" Suddenly she was carried away by an unseen force.

"Tenn? Tenn! Where are you? What happened?" Purple shouted.

"She is our prisoner…" A voice said.

"Who said that?" Purple looked around.

"I did," An unseen individual spoke.

"I who? State your name!" Red said. "Are you on screen or…?"

A glowing light emerged in the room. "I am the Ambassador for the Meekrob," The being said. "We are a race of pure energy and light."

"Pure energy and light? No wonder Tenn couldn't blend in," Purple blinked.

"Normally we on Meekrob do not bother ourselves with the concerns and problems of those that wear flesh and are not evolved enough to survive on pure thought," The Meekrob ambassador spoke. Red kept trying to put his hand on the light to see if anyone was there. "But since you have repeatedly tried to enslave our peaceful world we felt that we had no choice but to join the Resisty and…WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT?"

"Sorry," Red scoffed.

"That's very rude you know?" The Meekrob Ambassador snorted. "Just because I don't have a physical body doesn't mean I don't need some personal space!"

"Uh you were saying about the Resisty?" Purple suggested. "I mean you're involved with those idiots?"

"We have guided the Resisty in reorganizing themselves and gained members on thousands of worlds," The Meekrob Ambassador spoke. "And we have chosen now to rise up against your oppression! If you wish to see your precious Invader Tenn again, you will agree to peace talks with a representative we choose!"

"Talks? Are you insane?" Red scoffed. "The Tallest do not negotiate with terrorists!"

"You invade and enslave thousands of different worlds and you call us terrorists?" The Meekrob snapped.

"That's right! And we're not going to open any negotiations with you!" Red pointed his finger. "Tenn may be valuable. She may be one of the best invaders we have but she's still expendable! And the Irken Empire is mighty and filled with millions of…"

"Tallest! We just received about fifteen more Priority Plaid messages!" An Irken ran into the room screaming.

"My Tallest! Several of our ships have been destroyed by some other ships with really big lasers!" Another Irken shouted. "REALLY BIG ONES!"

"Six more Priority Plaid messages!" Several more Irkens shouted as they skittered in.

"There's been a slave rebellion on Planet Flert! Our armies have been routed! Something about exploding weapons!"

"There's a fire on Planet Fluke! A big fire!"

"Five more Priority Plaid messages!"

"Invader Ai is missing! Her SIR unit reported that she was dragged away by the inhabitants of Planet Kooloia towards some very sharp looking rocks!"

"Two more Priority Plaid messages!"

"Invader Hekl's ship was just blown up!"

"Three more Priority Plaid messages! No make that seven!"

"Invader Flobee has been driven away from his conquered planet! They were all throwing rocks at him! And since they're rock monsters you can imagine how painful the situation is!"

"Invader Skutch's ship is on fire!"

"Five more Priority Plaid messages!"

"Planet Twilla has rebelled! Invader Dool is dead! Apparently there was a whole bunch of vampire squirrels that he just couldn't get rid of!"

"My Tallest! A squadron of our ships just flew into an asteroid belt!"

"There's some guys with some debt collection agency saying that Irk owes certain organizations a lot of money! There really isn't such a thing as a 'leg breaking ray' is there?"

"My Tallest! The 112th fleet is in trouble! For some reason they ran out of fuel and are stuck in the middle of the Tobian System! They need a tow!"

"Invader Loo was eaten by a snake! A really big snake!"

"Sixteen more planets have rebelled against the empire! That's sixteen, count 'em…Sixteen more Priority Plaid messages!"

"Invader Hool just got blown up in his own voot cruiser! He was flying near Vort when for some reason it just blew up!"

"My Tallest! The 115th Fleet has been destroyed! Resisty ships came out of nowhere and ambushed them! And for some reason what few survivors were left ended up flying into a sun!"

"Planet Mik Mik Doo has rebelled! Our armies have been routed by fire breathing cows! Very large fire breathing cows!"

"Since when does that planet have fire breathing cows?"

"I dunno but according to General Filb they have them now!"

"My Tallest! Our doom bot factory on Planet Mechorobotica has been taken over. Apparently some idiot thought it would be a good idea to program the doom bots with artificial intelligence for an experiment. Now the doom bots don't want to blow up other planets anymore! They just want to blow us up! And they're doing a very good job of it!"

"General Flib has just been roasted alive by the fire breathing cows!"

"I've never heard of fire breathing cows."

"Well why don't you go down to Mik Mik Doo and check it out for yourself if you don't believe me?"

"Can't be any weirder than Vampire Squirrels."

"My Tallest, you remember all those bounty hunters we have on our payroll? They've kind of gone on strike. Actually they're striking our bases and stealing our stuff! Something about back payments being overdue."

"My Tallest, remember when I said that the 112th fleet needed a tow from the Tobian System? Never mind. A whole fleet of pirate ships got to them first."

"Our doom bot factory on Heki 11 has just been destroyed! Something about the doom bot's intelligence systems becoming faulty."

"My Tallest! Planet Greepia has revolted! You know the water planet? Apparently there was this huge tidal wave..."

"All the plasma cannons on Kakaraot 3 have exploded! The explosions destroyed the entire military base on that planet! We don't understand it! They worked fine on Planet Vort! Even brought in a few Vortian scientists to make sure they worked!"

"We lost the 45th fleet! Really. We lost them. Captain Milo took a wrong turn and ended up in some kind of wormhole and nobody's heard from them."

"TWENTY SEVEN MORE PRIORITY PLAID MESSAGES!"

Red made a face and looked at the ambassador. "Is tomorrow afternoon good for you?"

Not long after that…

"Got any threes?" Skoodge asked Gir. They were playing cards.

"Go Fish!" Gir remarked.

"Wait a minute, you have threes!" Skoodge pointed. "I can see them!"

"What's a three?" Gir scratched his head.

"AGGGH! This is insane! I still keep getting flashes of stupid Dib's life!" Zim paced back and forth. Then he jolted still for a second and yelled in pain. "And for some reason every now and then I feel like I'm being shocked! What is up with that?"

"I win!" Gir said cheerfully as he won the game.

"I can't believe I lost to a robot that can't even count," Skoodge moaned as he folded his cards.

"Well Gir is advanced," Zim shrugged.

BLEEEP! BLEEEP! BLEEEP! BLEEEP!

"What's that?" Zim blinked.

"Official Invader Class personal communicator," Skoodge pointed to a device on his wrist. "Don't you have one?"

"Uh yeah," Zim never got one but he wouldn't admit it to Skoodge. "Of course I did! But Gir wrecked it!"

"Sorry…" Gir apologized.

"It's a Priority Plaid message," Skoodge said.

"Plaid. What the heck is Plaid?" Zim blinked.

"I dunno," Skoodge turned on the communicator. "But whatever it is it must be important."

"To all Invaders who hear this message," Red was on screen. "Irk is in crisis. Several planets have successfully revolted or currently revolting against our imperial rule! The Irken Empire is in danger! Repeat! The Irken Empire is in danger!"

"This is impossible!" Zim was stunned. "Planets revolting! Unthinkable!"

"I know what you are thinking," Red said. "This situation is unthinkable and impossible, but it's happening! The Resisty have risen up and are wrecking our empire! They've got Invader Tenn hostage on their ship! Therefore we are calling an emergency meeting at the Great Hall of Irk! This is bad fellow Invaders!"

"So bad we don't have time to make up a bunch of useless merchandising crap to sell!" Purple interjected.

"Wow, that is bad," Zim's eyes widened. Skoodge nodded in agreement.

"So get your butts over to Irk so we can figure a way out of this mess! Red out! This is a recording," Red said before the transmission.

"I always liked Invader Tenn," Skoodge frowned. "She was always nice to me."

"She was nice to everyone! Too soft to be a real invader," Zim scoffed. "Nevertheless she is an Irken warrior and must be helped."

"Yeah we gotta come up with a plan and…" Skoodge began.

"We? There is no we! There is only Zim! Zim shall find a way to rescue Tenn and show our enemies that the Irken Empire is not to be toyed with…like some toy!"

"Okay…" Skoodge blinked.

"I will slay our enemies! SLAY THEM!" Zim stood on top of the table and shook his fist. "And then I shall slay them AGAIN! AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN MUAH HA HA HA HA!"

"Then I'll make cupcakes!" Gir said cheerfully.

"YES! YES! CUPCAKES OF DOOM! OH SUCH CUPCAKES OF DOOM SHALL WE MAKE! MUHA HA HA HA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHH!" Zim was jolted violently and fell off the table. "CURSE YOU DIB!"

"Maybe we should go in separate ships?" The fatter Irken suggested.

"Uh…." Zim thought. "Okay."

One hour later….

"Oh yes, Zim goes off on another fun adventure while I get stuck here defending the base," Zim's computer sighed. "From nothing! I don't know why I put up with it! I really don't!"

"Squeeee?" Minimoose blinked. He had been left behind too.

"And worst of all…" The Computer noticed that there was a strange light floating in. "Hey! What's that twinkly light?"

A strange light floated in. "Oh! Hello little light! Have you come to keep me company? I never get any visitors!" The Computer said joyously. "In fact I…"

FLASSSHHHHH!

The computer was touched by the light and it's circuits flared. "Ooh I'm going to take a nap now…" And then the computer fizzed out.

"Squeak?" Minimoose was stunned. Until the light gently touched his forehead. Slightly zapping Minimoose who passed out.

Then there was a flash. Lard Nar stood there with a blue skinned alien with a tail in a white lab coat. "Is it safe?" Lard Nar looked around nervously.

"The Computer's programming and the guard beast are incapacitated," The Meekrob ambassador informed them. "And the Irkens are gone."

"Good, still this place gives me the creeps," Lard Nar shuddered. "Why did you insist on coming here Finn?"

"Look there has to be a reason why this particular planet has resisted invasion so far," Finn told his leader. "Even though it's rather primitive. I mean there's been a main Irken base and at least three or more Invaders showing up on this planet over the past two years."

"He has a point," The Meekrob Ambassador told Lard Nar. "Other than the Meekrob and the Voomerons and the Stranvar and the Mopikins, no other planet has thwarted an invasion. Oh wait there's also planet Spoodle but that's only because the planet itself was a sentient being and ate the invaders as soon as they landed."

"And the only reason we're able to fight them off now is because of two things," Finn said as he started to fiddle with Zim's computer. "The Meekrob's assistance and the fact that the Irken Empire has gotten really lazy."

"Yes! And we're taking advantage of that! So what are you looking for?" Lard Nar asked.

"I'm going to see if I can find out any information about this planet, namely why it has resisted invasion for so long," Finn explained.

"Good plan! I'm going to look for snacks!" Lard Nar looked around. "Oh for crying out loud! What a mess this dump is! You know for an invader this evil lair isn't very tidy!"

"Yeah it's not even worth blowing up, even if it does belong to an Irken Slime Stack," Finn grunted. "I mean seriously it looks like this technology is at the lower end of the Invader Class. Half this computer's systems are out of date and the AI is faulty. That could be why this planet hasn't been taken over yet."

"I think the main reason this planet has resisted invasion is that it's so remote," The Meekrob Ambassador thought aloud. "According to our sources it took this invader six months to find it."

"Yes, but that was also before the Irkens had their new advanced hyper drive systems. And it probably took them a while just flying around looking for this planet because there were no maps of this particular galaxy. I think I have something," Finn told Lard Nar and the Meekrob Ambassador. "Look at the information I have here."

There were hundreds of images of Zim fighting Dib. Dib spying on Zim. Detailed information about Dib. A list entitled 101 Reasons Dib Stinks! Another list called Dib's Weaknesses. And still another list called 101 More Reasons Dib Stinks. Finally a big post it saying: Did I Mention How Much I Hate Dib?

"I'm seeing a pattern here," Lard Nar blinked. "You know this Dib might be the one? The prophecy spoke of a great warrior that would one day destroy the Irken Empire and free the universe!"

"What prophecy?" Finn asked.

"The one I just made up!" Lard Nar snapped. "I've got it! We find this Dib, get him to join the Resisty and have him become our ambassador!"

"But what if the Irkens are unreasonable and he gets killed?" Finn asked.

"Well then it won't be one of us that gets killed now will it?" Lard Nar gave him a look. "Either way we win."

"Oh you have a point," Finn said. "Okay so let's find out where this Dib lives."

"According to this map he's just down the street around the block," Finn said.

"Well that's very convenient," The Meekrob Ambassador remarked.

And of course just down the street around the block…

"Coming in two days! Live! Mysterious Mysteries! Don't miss this special live broadcast in front of a live audience!" The TV announcer blared. "And today is our special Audience Participation Day! If you have proof of something weird or even a video of something weird we'll show it live to the entire world! Best video wins a T-Shirt! So come on down to the City Arena! Show us your video! It can't be too sick or too weird or too mysterious for us! Don't miss it! Your entire town is going! So should you, unless you're a loser!"

"AAGGGGH!" Dib cried out in frustration as he tried to figure out the code to get rid of his shock collar. Then the cry turned into a real painful yelp. He rolled around on his bed in his pajamas.

"Darn it! Dad must have upgraded the code system from last time! I've got to get to that show! It's my chance to warn the people of Earth about Zim and expose him for what he is! Not to mention be on TV on my favorite show! OWWWW!" Dib kept trying to get the shock collar off.

"Dib, your voice is starting to annoy me again!" Gaz called out. "SHUT UP!"

Just then a strange light floated into the room. "Greetings Dib. I am the Meekrob Ambassador!"

"Holy cow! An alien! Wait…You're not going to turn into a pair of shoes now are you?" Dib narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Huh?" The Meekrob Ambassador would have blinked if he had eyes.

"Oh no, you're not fooling me a second time ZIM!" Dib snarled. "I'm onto your little mind control game!"

"No I'm not Zim," The Meekrob Ambassador remarked.

"Nice try Zim, but you've done this trick before!" Dib cackled. "AAAGGHH!" He tried to tackle the alien but fell right through him off the bed.

WHAM!

Dib got up immediately. "So that's the way you want to play it Zim? Fine!"

"No, I'm not Zim!" The Meekrob Ambassador protested.

"Seriously, he's not!" Lard Nar, Finn and another alien came through window. "In fact we have a serious beef with the Irkens ourselves!"

"Who are you?" Dib asked.

"I'm Lard Nar! Leader of the Resisty! This is my head science officer Finn, the Meekrob Ambassador and that's uh, who are you again?" He looked at the third alien.

"I'm your brother in law, Oogle!" The aliens snapped.

"Sorry. I do have fifty seven sisters you know?" Lard Nar protested. "Which one are you married to?"

"Roka Nar Flenn, your head engineer?" Oogle folded his four arms.

"Oh right," Lard Nar nodded. "Anyway we're a resistance force made up of thousands of different worlds that have been conquered by or attacked by the evil Irken empire. And we need your help to fight them!"

"Hold on! Are you real or are you another trick Zim cooked up to get into my head and try and make me his mind slave?" Dib pointed at them. "You're just a trick aren't you! Well I'm not falling for that again!"

"No wait! We're real!" Finn protested as he tapped Dib's head. "Feel that! Real!"

"Yeah but Zim's technology also feels pretty real too," Dib frowned. "I'm gonna need more proof that you're not with Zim or at the very least not a hallucination caused by Zim."

"Fair enough," Lard Nar frowned. "We know how tricky and devious Irkens are. Uh…Meekrob Ambassador can you help us out here?"

"Well I suppose I could do a quick telepathic mind touch to verify our presence…" The Meekrob Ambassador touched Dib's forehead sending a telepathic probe. "How's that?"

"YIAKEGGGGGAGGGGHHHH!" Dib's eyes rolled back. Then he shook his head. "Wow! You're real!"

"Yup, we are!" Finn nodded.

"Sorry about doubting you, but Zim has really been screwing with my head lately," Dib apologized.

"It's no big deal," Lard Nar nodded. "The Irken Invaders use horrible tricks of deception to infiltrate our worlds and take them over!"

"Yeah well not Earth," Dib grunted. "So far I'm the only one who's seen right through Zim's tricks. That's why he's been after me and trying some mind control stuff. But I'm going to fight that jerk to the bitter end!"

"Mind control! Filthy Irken Slime!" Oogle snarled. "Is there nothing those freaks won't do in order to wreck people's lives?"

"Oh you have no idea what I've been through trying to protect the Earth!" Dib said as he waved his arms. "He's tried everything on me! He's humiliated me! He's sent robots after me! He's turned me into meat products! He's tried to go back in time to wreck my life! He's sent stupid nannites to control me! He's sent me into other dimensions! One of them had a moose in it!"

"Dear Lords of Light! That's horrible!" Lard Nar was stunned.

"What's a moose?" Oogle asked Finn.

"I dunno, but it must be bad," Finn shrugged.

"Once he even teamed up with this other Irken in order to kidnap the Earth and fill it with snacks so he could give it to his leaders!" Dib said. "He had to kind of get my help to thwart her because she kind of double crossed him and tried to take his job away."

"Good grief! Is nothing sacred to these monsters?" Lard Nar gasped.

"But I've fought them and defeated them again and again!" Dib said heroically.

"Dib! The Resisty needs you! We need a warrior like you to help get this Zim and defeat the Irken Empire! It's your destiny Dib! A billion helpless souls are crying out for justice and freedom! The universe needs to be free!"

"Okay…" Dib blinked. "You know you had me at get Zim right?"

"So you'll help us?" Finn asked.

"Yeah just one little thing," Dib pointed to his neck. "Could you get this shock collar off me?"

"Oh sure," The Meekrob Ambassador used his abilities to let the collar fall off Dib's neck. "Better?"

"Much," Dib rubbed his neck. "I tell you, it's nice to have someone believe me for a change."

"Are you kidding? Do you have any idea how much damage the Irkens have done to countless worlds?" Lard Nar grunted. "They've enslaved and wrecked so many worlds I've lost count! Why on Finn's planet they covered the entire world with flen nut butter!"

"So they could lick flen nut butter off the buildings and trees," Finn groaned. Then he screamed. "And my people are allergic to flen nuts!"

"Wow, that's bad," Dib blinked.

"Do you have any idea how big a rash an alien can get when he's covered with something he's allergic too?" Finn went on. "Big painful rashes! And it's really painful! And itchy! And your throat scratches and closes up and your tail grows a boil the size of…"

"We get the idea Finn," The Meekrob Ambassador interrupted. "They tried their tricks on the Meekrob but fortunately we are a highly advanced race. We captured one of their most powerful Invaders and are going to force the Irken Empire into negotiations."

"Or at the very least give us some snacks!" Lard Nar shouted.

Dib nodded. "Okay let me just get dressed and some supplies and I'm ready to go. If you want you can go wait in the kitchen."

"Do you have snacks?" Lard Nar asked.

"For once yeah," Dib nodded. "My Dad remembered to send some people to get food for us."

"To the kitchen!" Lard Nar posed dramatically.

"Oh boy…" The Meekrob Ambassador sighed.

A short while later Gaz went into her kitchen. She saw a group of aliens sitting around the table eating food. "Hey! Who or what the hell are you? And more importantly, who said you could eat here?" Gaz snapped.

"It's all right! The savior said it was okay!" Finn said as he chomped on a sandwich. "Hmmm, this is good!"

"I wouldn't know. Meekrobs don't eat," The Meekrob Ambassador remarked.

"Let me guess," Gaz said as she folded her arms. "You're all friends of Zim?"

"Friends? No human sister of the savior! We are the Resisty!" Lard Nar spoke dramatically.

"The Resisty? That's a stupid name," Gaz frowned.

"Well yes. But we didn't have time to think up a really good one," Lard Nar shrugged.

"I see…" Gaz said. "And this savior is…?"

"Why Dib of course," Lard Nar spoke. "I'm Lard Nar! Leader of the Resisty! That's Finn, Oogle and the Meekrob Ambassador."

"Hi! How you doin'?" Oogle waved one of his hands.

"My people don't have names because we're all part of one collective consciousness," The Meekrob Ambassador explained. "You know it gets kind of redundant when everyone has the same mind."

"Oh great," Gaz sighed. "This is going to be one of those weeks isn't it?"

"Hi Gaz!" Dib came out of his room fully dressed and shoving objects into a blue backpack. "I'm going off to save the universe! I should be back in a few days."

"Okay I'll bite…" Gaz gave an annoyed sigh. "You're going to save the universe?"

"Yes I am!" Dib said happily. "Oooh! I'm gonna need crackers! Good for quick energy!" He grabbed some from the cabinet.

"From who?" Gaz asked. "Even though I'm afraid I know the answer all too well."

"From Zim and the evil Irken Empire!" Lard Nar explained.

"I knew it," Gaz groaned. "I knew something stupid was going to happen this week!"

"I know this is hard to believe female human but Earth is one of the few half dozen planets that hasn't automatically fallen to the Irken Empire," Lard Nar explained.

"And I'm going to help them fight it!" Dib said excitedly.

"I see…" Gaz said. "Boy you guys really must be desperate."

"You have no idea…" The Meekrob Ambassador sighed.

"Hey! Now that the Meekrob have joined us we're a lot better!" Lard Nar protested. "You have to admit that most of our planets aren't used to fighting! Unlike Irkens we're not a warrior race."

"So the Irkens have a really big army huh?" Dib asked as he went around getting more supplies.

"Actually nearly all Irkens are in the military except of course the very young which are shoved into military school the minute they're hatched," Finn shrugged. "Oh and there is a doctor class and a mechanic class. And there are the ones that fail the academy and get reassigned to be lowly laborers but other than that…"

"Wait the entire society is geared towards war?" Dib asked. "No farmers or artists or…"

"Hello! They're invaders! They conquer so they don't have to do that stuff on their own!" Lard Nar snapped. "In addition to technological advances my people made beautiful works of art and sandwiches! We were happy creating…Until the Irkens invaded. Now all we do is make weapons, stupid statutes of their stupid Tallest and make the same three stupid kinds of sandwiches over and over again! Do you know how stifling that is to a sandwich artist like myself?"

"Boo hoo, cry me a river," Finn remarked. "Try sitting when your butt has swelled up to the size of a kleegle melon! And those things are pretty big let me tell you!"

"Now where is my miniature video camera?" Dib looked around. "And I'm going to need a blank disc. I'll get one from Dad's lab!" He skittered off. "I'm going to be a savior! Whoopee!"

"Lettuce sandwich, jelly and flen nut butter sandwich and donut sandwich!" Lard Nar moaned. "And you know what's in a donut sandwich? A donut on top of another donut on top of another donut! And we don't even get to make or eat the donuts! It's not fair! It's just not fair!"

"Neither is missing your relatives' anniversary party because you got drunk!" Oogle snapped. "Do you have any idea how pissed off my wife was?"

"Where's the artistry? Where's the craftsmanship?" Lard Nar howled.

"Where's our anniversary present? Or at least a freaking card!" Oogle yelled.

"I am so glad I am a Meekrob, above all these petty flesh delights…" The Meekrob ambassador sighed. "Although I do admit a donut sandwich is an appetizing idea…"

"I'm going back into my room and finish my game," Gaz grumbled as she went back to her room. "Flying Zombie Pigs make a lot more sense than this!"