Summary: Just divorced Chuck thinks everything is said between him and Blair. But why does she show up at his doorstep at night? Future Fic.

AN: Big thank you to the amazing Eileen for her – as always fantastic - beta work!

I also want to thank Sandra (Stella296) for writing the flashback for me. (You may think it lacks tension, I still love it!)

Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl or its characters.

Way Back Into Love

Chapter 20: Idiot

Blair was positively glowing as she emptied the closet and nightstand of her personal things. Two more hours and she would make it. She would finally be released from the hospital today. As terrific as that fact alone was, it wasn't the only reason why she was in a chipper mode. She had everything packed up, was properly dressed, and her last MRI scan had shown that her heart had recovered almost completely from the infection. Still none of that could over trump the actual reason for her good mood.

After three and half nerve-wracking months, today was finally the day of her – drum roll please – last chemo. One more time and that whole nightmare would be over. She felt like throwing her arms up and squealing in joy. For a short moment she actual considered doing so, in retrospect thankful she didn't when Hannah appeared in the door way.

"You seem in a jovial mood today," the elder woman commented on Blair basically dancing through the room.

"Hannah!" she greeted .

"Day of last chemo, huh?" Hannah laughed, sitting down on the made up bed.

Blair sat down next to her nodding happily. "How did you know?"

"I don't think I've ever seen you smiling this much."

"I feel like I haven't smiled that much in the last five years," Blair admitted.

"They told me that you had a pretty tough time," Hannah said. "Last time I was here you were barley conscious. Are you alright?"

"You mean dying and everything?" Blair smiled. "Yes, I got over it."

"I'm glad to see you so light-hearted," Hannah pulled an envelope from her clutch, handing it to Blair. "So I don't need to feel bad about being so euphoric about my news."

"What news?" Blair wondered studying the presented suspiciously.

"My husband and I want to renew our vows next month, I was hoping you would come."

"Of course I will!" Blair exclaimed. "It sounds really romantic! Your husband came up with it?"

She nodded holding out her hand, "Yes. A whole new proposal. Ring and everything."

"It's gorgeous!" she admired, her expert eye recognizing the caratage immediately and involuntary realizing how empty her own ring finger felt.

"Will you bring your significant other?" Hannah questioned and deliberately hesitated before the last two words.

"I'm sure my husband be thrilled to accompany me," Blair stated simply.

"I'm sorry, but have I missed out on something?" she frowned. "I thought you were divorced."

"Lawfully yes," the younger woman admitted. "But we're together. I guess I never felt like I wasn't married to him. I've always loved him."

"What happened?" Hannah made herself comfortable on the chair.

"Ever seen 'War of the Roses'?"

Her eyebrows raised. "That bad?"

"Minus the chandelier," Blair said dryly. "Although it was a close call."

"And then?"

"I got sick and that brought us back together," Blair finished her telling.

Hannah pursed her lips, a skeptical expression on her face.

"You think I'm making a mistake," Blair caught the change in her friends mood. "If it wasn't for me being sick we would still be at war. I can't tell you how many time I asked myself if you can build a relationship on cancer."

"Blair I don't mean to bring you down, I know you're really happy that you will be finishing treatment today-"

"But?"

"But I've been happy to finish treatment three times in the last four years. Cancer can be terribly devious. Sneaking up on you from behind when you least expect it."

"I hope this has more behind it but ruining my good mood," she snarled.

"Are you happy, Blair?"

The corners of her mouth went up instantly. "I haven't been that happy since the summer before college when we first started dating."

"Well, then maybe you should see it as the one good thing cancer brought to you."

"Who knew all you had to do to occupy center stage was die?" Blair did final touches on her make-up, applying her favorite lipstick.

Chuck – already done and ready to go – watched her from the couch in the bedroom. "I'll tell you when bragging about dying start's to get annoying, alright?"

She popped her head out of the bathroom. "Jealous of all the attention I'm getting?" She went back inside, reaching for her necklace, before going to Chuck holding the jewel out to him. "Would you be kind enough?"

"The Dior? Isn't that a bit much for a simple family dinner?" he wondered, putting the ornament on her anyway, finishing with a kiss on her nape.

"I think it goes with the evening gown," she shrugged, admiring herself in the full-length mirror. She swirled around in front of it, the skirt of her dress shimmering and flowing in a divine way. "How do I look?"

"Ravishing!" he smirked, eying her like he was considering tossing her down on their bed and doing just that.

That plan in mind he closed his arms around her waist pulling her tight. It had been about a month since the last time they'd slept together. Way too long for his liking. First there had been the medical issues of course and then the idea of sex in hospital bed's hadn't really appealed to either of them. For the last six days Blair had struggled with side effects once again and today seemed to be the first day she actually felt – with the help of a tiny bit of pot this afternoon – good.

"Don't even dare to think it!" she warned. "It took me half an hour to adjust this damn wig, in a way that wouldn't make me look like a drag queen!"

"I don't like items that prevent me from touching you," Chuck said his hands sliding lower on her along her back. "Why not just wear a scarf? You say those are more comfortable anyway."

"This is about looking good, not comfort," she closed her eyes as his lips made their way along her jaw line and his fingertips caressed her spine. It took all of her willpower to detach herself from him. "I'm not showing up there like I've just been fucked."

"It's just a family dinner!" he repeated, not even bothering to hide his frustration. "Half of the people there have seen you in far less appropriate ways."

"It's way more than that," she corrected him. "For the first time in the last month I don't feel like I've slept under a train. I look amazing and I actually look forward to seeing everyone! … Even the Humphreys. I think this is the first family dinner in about three years I'm going to enjoy. Please don't ruin it for me."

Still sulking a bit he embraced her one more time. "Still can't believe it."

"What?" she peeled his hands off her rear, giving him a scolding look. "That we attend a dinner that is not going to end with me aiming towards your head? Because your pushing your luck here."

"No, that you actually consider the Humphrey's family," he smiled smugly, giving her ass a firm squeeze.

"Behave yourself!" she freed herself off his arms, pecking his lips. "I'll make it up to you later!"

"You know what I think?" Chuck started as they made their way to the hallway, stopping at the coat closet.

"What?"

"It's a bit excessive that Eleanor, Harold and your stepfathers are only flying in for this evening," he decided.

"Says the man who once flew all the way to London to buy a pair of socks?" Gladly she slipped into the coat he held up for her, reaching for her purse. "Is poor orphan boy jealous that his stepmother wasn't pausing her spa trip for his last birthday?"

He placed a hand of the small of her back, leading her into the elevator. "We'll see if you can make it through the first course without speaking to the poor orphan boy. Have fun only speaking to Eleanor."

The first half of the night went by pretty uneventfully. The food was delicious, conversation pleasant and Blair enjoyed herself to no end. Even Chuck had a good time once he had overcome his blue balls, in part because of some certain actions she'd taken in the limo ride over to the Humphrey/Van der Woodsen apartment.

In a silent moment after dessert, everyone followed Rufus and Lily to admire the latest artwork, while Nate and Jenny asked Chuck and Blair for a private word in the sitting room.

"You guy's are acting quite serious," Chuck stated, sitting down next to Blair, putting an arm around her shoulder.

"There's something we wanted to ask you," Jenny started out, the nervous way in which she fidgeted with her armlet not lost on Blair.

"We've been talking about it for quite some time and at times we were doubting if we should ask you at all," Nate continued for his wife.

"Is this a marriage proposal or are you asking us to go swinging with you?" Blair wondered out loud, causing Chuck to smirk.

"Guys!" Jenny said. "This is serious."

"Maybe they're breaking up with us?" Chuck suggested.

Noticing the disappointment on Jenny's face, Blair decided to knock it off, apparently this was really important to them.

"What is it?" she wanted to know, before assuring. "I'm all ears."

"We wanted to ask you to be Victoria's godparents," Jenny finally announced.

The brunette was pretty sure that the expression on Chuck's and her face was priceless, as they sat there gaping at their friends. She was confirmed in her assumption when Nate muttered. "Wow, Kodak moment."

The dark haired man was the first one to press out a word. "Us?" he asked, earning a confirming nod from Nate and Jenny.

"Don't you think that maybe Serena and Dan would be more appropriate? You know, like actual family?" Blair made a suggestion, realizing how lame this had to sound.

"You guys are family," Jenny said as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"But... us?" Chuck couldn't seem understand.

"We thought about it for a long time," Nate laughed. "We're sure. We think that she would be lucky to have you guys as her godparents and maybe it would be good for you to have her in your lives."

"Now I get what this is all about," Blair raised her chin in an aggressive manner. "It's the latest charity to distract poor, sick me from the fact that I might be dying, isn't it?"

"Get over yourself!" Jenny replied, her tone just as sharp as Blair's. "I don't think I like either of you enough for that half of the time."

"You just said we were family," Chuck started at his best friend's wife dumbfounded.

"Well duh," Jenny rolled her eyes. "People don't necessary like their family all the time. Try to keep up, Chuck!"

"So?" Nate demanded. "Yes or No?"

"I just don't get why you would want us," Blair shrugged unsure. "Granted this is the Upper East Side, but still there must be better role models available then us."

"Exemplary function is overrated." Nate answered.

"You say that now," Chuck said dryly. "When Victoria decides to rule her kindergarten class and starts scheming one day, I bet you'll talk differently."

"She might just get that from me," Jenny threw in before her husband continued.

"Listen we know you guys may not be the perfect godparents, but we also know that when it comes to the people you love you both are loyal to no end. And that's why we want you to have a permanent part in Victoria's life."

Blair looked at Chuck doubtfully. Were they really willing and most of all ready to take care of another human being like that, when their own relationship was still in early stages of development. Sure, the Archibald's hadn't asked them to adopt her, but being Godparents was still quite the responsibility. Weren't they – as Godparents - supposed to raise the child if something happened to Nate and Jenny?

Seeing the indecision on both Blair's and Chuck's face, Jenny got up from the couch, walking over too the window were her daughter lay in the bassinet. "I think we need your help convincing those two stubborn jerks," she cooed lifting the baby into her arms. A devious expression crossing her face she walked straight towards Chuck.

Even Blair had to stifle a laugh when she saw how panicked Chuck looked as Jenny leaned down to put the baby in his arms.

"Just support the head and you'll be fine!" Nate advised, smirking at how awkward his friend looked, the tiny pink bundle in his arms, not knowing that is was about to get weirder.

Blair did a double take as he started to dandle the baby and doing baby talk. "Well, aren't you the cutest little thing?"

"If he start's doing peek-a-boo get the camera," Nate muttered.

Unable to resist any longer, Blair leaned over Chuck's shoulder, studying all the little smiles and burbles he received from the baby girl. The corners of her lips involuntary went up a bit. It was a odd image for sure. Both of them dressed in dark Couture cradling and fuzzing over Victoria who was all just wearing pink, but unmistakable completely in love with her.

"I guess we have our answer," Jenny said pleased with herself.

Chuck was worried when he made his way home. Blair and he had wanted to meet for dinner tonight. When he had left the apartment in the morning everything had been alright. She had been happy that they had reservations at her favorite restaurant and had planned on using the day to glam herself up for tonight. Then, sometime around late afternoon a text had popped up on his cell.

"Canceled reservations. Not feeling well. See you at home."

He had been worried, but he hadn't been prepared for the sight before him when he arrived home. Blair was sprawled across the bed, fully dressed, her eyes barley opening as he entered the room. She hadn't even put the covers over herself. Chuck was by her side in a second.

"What's wrong Blair?"

"I forgot today was day ten after chemo," she murmured, her eyes still closed.

Chuck suppressed the urge to palm face himself. Day ten - of course. It had happened to her once or twice before. On day ten after the chemo infusion, the white blood cell count of patients was evidential at its bottom and sometimes the organism surrendered at that.

"It's okay. Not that bad," Blair tried to trivialize. "Will all blow over till tomorrow morning."

Chuck smiled at her for the try to reassure him. They both knew very well that it wouldn't be over by the morning. That sort of chemo hangover lasted for thirty six hours. Night, then day, then night again. Not more, not less.

Carefully he slipped his hands beneath her body. Even though his movements very slow and cautious, she winced a few times as he changed her into a proper position on the bed. Kissing her forehead he finished by placing the covers over her body.

Chuck sat against the headboard, with Blair resting her head in his lap. He caressed her face, giving her a gentle massage to the temples, hoping to ease the headache. Finally she fell into a restless sleep, as he stayed up a bit longer, trying to calm her as she kept tossing and turning. He studied a business report until close to midnight, when his eyes were unable to stay open any longer.

A fingernail was poking into his chest waking him up rather suddenly. "I'm hungry."

"Then tell the maid to fix you breakfast," he replied not even opening an eye. "That's what I hired the help for!"

"She won't be here for another hour," she hit him with a pillow. "Would you get your ass up to get your seriously ill wife a damn yogurt?"

"You're not my wife, you're a pain in the ass," he muttered, not wanting to be so touchy, but still unable to help it after the restless night that lay behind them. He was terribly sleep deprived. By the time he'd woken up, she'd moved around so much in her sleep, none of the sheets corners were still tucked under the mattress. And the night hadn't been better. He knew of course that she hadn't done it to spite him, but simply because she was fucking miserable. During the night he had been woken by her whimpers a few times, while she had been curled up, clutching her head because of the massive headaches.

Groaning Chuck got out of bed, heading towards the kitchen. He didn't mean to treat her so vile this morning, he was just terribly sleep deprived.

"I feel like crap," she said, sounding pitiable, as he returned to the bedroom.

"It'll pass soon," he assured her, gliding back into bed, handing her the food. "And after you come through it this time it's over for good."

Her face lightened up, realizing that he was right. "You're right, those are probably the last few hours of chemo side effects I'll have."

"Enjoy it while it lasts, because once you feel better you will be done bossing me around," Chuck smirked.

"I'll never be done bossing you around, darling!"

"I'm not so sure this was a good idea," Blair rushed nervously through the apartment. "Seriously, what do we even know about babies?"

Chuck watched her amused from the the dining table, still enjoying his after-dinner-scotch, as she paced around making sure the apartment was child proof. Which it of course wasn't - but he didn't even dare to think of telling her that – since it was a typical home owned by a childless couple. Sterile atmosphere combined with lots of expensive, very brittle art.

"Don't give me that smug look!" Blair warned. "I want us to bond with our goddaughter, I'm just worried we might kill her while doing so."

"I think we will manage to keep her alive for the two hours Nate and Jenny are at the show," Chuck stood up, taking the antic Greek vase from her hand she'd just been trying to find a safe place for.

He put the vase back in to its origin on the windowsill, her protest following him. "She could get a hold of that and it could drop on her head!"

"She's not even crawling yet," he rationalized, leading Blair to the couch and sitting her down on it. "She's not going to reach it unless you hand it to her to play with. Even then I'm not even sure she could hold it in her hands."

Blair sunk onto her favorite armchair, gladly accepting the drink Chuck handed her. "I've gone a little crazy, haven't I?"

"You are a control obsessed perfectionist," he sat down on the armrest and gave her a kiss after clinking their glasses together. "And I love you for it."

"Blair? BLAIR! What the hell?"
"What is it, darling?"
"What is this mess! Was there a reason for you to empty my whole closet?"
"Yes, I wanted to organize it. By color and designer."
"Nobody asked you to do that."
"Gee, don't be thankful or anything."
"Ever since you gave up that job all your doing is worthless, stressful stunts like this. Now I have to go through three hundred suits to find the one I wanted to get alternated by my tailor!"
"I can look for it."
"Thanks, I'd rather do it myself. You did enough."
"Don't be so mean."
"Mean? What are you eight? And I am not, I'm honest."
"Well I'm sorry to be such a burden to you."
"Start to be sorry by not being one."

"..."

"Where are you going?"
"Maybe I'll go puke! That would be one meaningful thing I could do with my day."
"Blair!"
"Leave me the fuck alone."

Dorota appeared in the door, a smile on her face as she saw her employers in such an dearly embrace. "Ms. Blair, Mr. Chuck, the Archibalds are here."

"No, backing out, now," Chuck said to Blair, after telling Dorota to lead them to the living room.

He held out his hand to her, as she got up from the armchair. "Let's go Aunt B."

She cringed at the word aunt, causing him to chuckle. Aunt wasn't a word she associated with a positive image.

"Whatever you say Uncle Chuck," she shot back, knowing very well that he didn't have the best connections to the word Uncle as well. Victoria would have to settle on calling them by their first names.

When they arrived in the sitting room, Jenny and Nate were already waiting for them, carriage, diaper bag and of course baby in hand. The women greeted each other with a brief hug, while Chuck and Nate settled for a handshake.

Jenny had handed all items she had on herself - including baby - over to Blair before she had even finished greeting her, taking the brunette completely by surprise.

"Why don't we sit down," Chuck offered, gesturing towards the siting area, noticing that the young parents hadn't even taken off their coats yet. "Have a drink?"

"We are in kind of a rush," Nate said a little too quickly, his wife basically glued to him. "The show starts in ten minutes."

They both placed a kiss on their daughter who napped in Blair's arms, before escaping to the door. Jenny turned around one last time filling them in on the basics in five sentences, halfway being pulled outside by her husband. "She just ate. I put some milk in the bag if she's hungry anyway. If she cries it's probably for the diaper or because she's tired. The comforter is also in the bag. Bye!"

Completely overwhelmed Blair and Chuck stared at each other. Not sure what had just happened.

"Weird Broadway show that starts at 7:35," Blair noted.

Chuck put his arms around her, leaning over his goddaughter. "I would bet any money that you parents are practicing, so you don't stay an only child."

"Don't corrupt the child!" Blair demanded, seriously considering to cover the baby ears.

"But that's what godparents are for," Chuck argued. "She has her parents to be political correct."

"So what, in ten year's you'll hand her a joint, a bottle of scotch and a few condoms and leave her parents to deal with the consequences?" Blair sat down on the couch, dandling Victoria as she grew a bit uneasy.

"I don't know any better," Chuck shrugged, sitting next to her. "Jack was my Godfather."

"I rest my case," she flicked her tongue, before bringing her attention once again to the baby in her arms. "Or what do you think sweetie?"

The only answer she received was a burble followed by several loud wails. "See, she disagrees with you. She wants to be corrupted by me," Chuck said.

Blair gave him a warning look and then tried again to get her goddaughter to calm down. She changed the girls position in her arms, lifting her up so the baby could look over her shoulder. That action was well received. The crying changed into soft whimpers and finally stopped completely, as she started to explore the unknown environment with bright blue eyes.

Within half an hour the usual overly tidy, almost sterile living room, had turned into a messy nursery as Chuck and Blair did their best to keep Victoria entertained. As it turned out, after all her possible needs were satisfied the baby got bored very, very easily. Especially if she noticed that she wasn't one hundred percent the center of attention.

Normally both of them would've cringed at the thought of having their clothes ruined by drool or spit of an infant, still right now they were busy with fuzzing over the baby.

Chuck studied Blair as she held Victoria – who only barley managed to hold her eyes open – looking down at her lovingly. His ex-wife caught his gaze.

"You really enjoy this, don't you?" Blair said amused.

"What?"

"Playing house."

"I can't help it," he leaned over to kiss first Victoria's forehead, then Blair's lips. "It's just gorgeous."

Ignoring Chuck's comment, Blair smiled as the baby squirmed in her arms, the little mouth opening and aiming in the direction of her chest in order to find something to latch on. "You might be lucky with the other one, sweetheart, but you definitely won't find anything there."

She could feel Chuck searching her eyes carefully, when she remained concentrating on Victoria. "Don't worry, I won't burst into a flood of tears," was her only comment. It was sort of sweet and understandable that he was worried, in consideration what her last reaction to breast feeding had been. Regardless, she didn't want him walking on eggshells, just because she lacked a breast. She had come to accept it. More or less.

"Am I wrong or is this the first time there is a child in our apartment?" Chuck wondered out loud, causing Blair to laugh, before a serious expression crossed her face for just about a second.

He looked her in the eye, placing arms around her waist so that he could pull her tight. "What's on your mind, B?"

"I was just thinking... if a vasectomy is reversible?"

At that question his eyes shined in a way she hadn't seen it in years. "Are you serious?"

"I'm not promising anything, Chuck," she told him honestly. "At least not while I'm still in recovery, but after that... I think it would be something very worth considering."

"Who knew all it would take to get you there were a divorce, cancer and a cardiac arrest," he beamed at her, earning a smack on his chest, but his smile got even brighter as he leaned in to kiss her.

He obviously didn't consider it and he definitely didn't mean for it to happen, knowing Blair would be anything but amused. A fear that proved to be serious now that he saw the look on her face. Still what was done, was done. Spontaneously they had decided to start their lazy Sunday with a quickie. She'd been riding him for all he was worth, just leaning down to kiss him, when caught up in the heat of the moment he had yanked the cap off her head.

She'd immediately stopped her movements, looking at him shocked, then furious. Clearly thinking he'd done it deliberately. Angrily she reached for her cap and he was just about to tell her it was by accident, when he saw it.

"Blair," he held her wrist as she tried to readjust the cap.

"What?" she barked annoyed. "You want me to take my slip off too, so I can really relax and enjoy sex!"

"When was the last time you looked at yourself without head covering?" he asked, ignoring her comment completely.

"You know I try to avoid it, as much as possible," she said irritated.

"Be thankful passion turned me into a clean head fetishist!" he smirked at her irritated expression. "You're hair is growing back."

"What?" Her eyes widened as she felt the evidence of what he was talking about with her own hands.

He didn't know what hit him as she broke their connection, jumping out of bed, leaving him on the bed gaping and with a major hard-on.

"You don't notice for god knows how long and now you're disrupting sex for it," he called after her as she disappeared into the bathroom.

When she hadn't come back after a while, he putting his shirt on, before going after her. She didn't even realize he was standing at the door, as she leaned over the sink in front of the mirror, angling a hand mirror to get a really close look. It was an odd image seeing her there and yet the way she stood there, the teddy riding up her thighs revealing her backside, aroused him to no end.

"Huh," was all she said, looking at her image.

He put one arm around her from behind, the other hand running over her head. It was there, unmistakable. Dark fluff. Crossed by a few single gray hairs, a fact he'd never dare on saying to her face. Spinning her around he kissed her skull right on her fuzz.

Even when he'd ask her afterward, for the love of god neither of them could explain the motivation behind her next action. Her hands slipped under his shirt stripping it off his shoulders. Both hands were buried in his chest hair she as pushed him backwards to sit down on the flapped down toilet seat.

A leg on either side of his she stood in front of him, as she reached for the hem of her chemise pulling it over her head in a quick movement. Chuck looked at her absolutely stunned. No matter how often, where and in what way they had done it, in the last months, her top clothing has always been the one big taboo during sex.

As she stood in front of him, no hair - or not much- completely naked, leaning down to kiss him, the thought that this was the most intimate moment they had ever shared, crossed his mind.

Never breaking eye contact she gently sank down on his still erect penis. She peeled his hands off her lower back were he'd decided was a safe place to rest them, placing one on either side of her chest. Buried deep within her he let his fingertips run along her rips, his thumb outlining the scar.

Her hips started to rock against his and her head fell back in abandon. A throaty moan left her mouth – and maybe there was even a bit of a suppressed sob in there – when he started to spread open mouthed kisses along the flat, right side of her chest, while rolling the nipple of her left breast between his fingers, pinching it softly.

"You're-" instead of finishing the sentences, all that came out was a yelp.

She had successfully cut him off by biting his shoulder. "Try to ruin the mood by telling me I'm beautiful for the thousands time and I'll stop right away!"

"Actually I was going to say fucking hot!"

"What are you doing?" Chuck asked annoyed.

Blair glared at him through the bangs of her wig, as she scratched the back of her head. "I'm sure that whoever created that wig was a complete sadist. You wouldn't believe how much that thing itches!"

Shaking his head he leaned back against the leather seats, glancing outside the window to see how far away they were. "I still think you should show off your own hair."

"All three strands?" She quirked an eyebrow.

"I think it looks smoking!" his fingers slipped up the nape of her neck, teasing the hairline of the wig, by slipping beneath it, brushing over the stumps of her actual hairline.

"Leave it alone, Chuck!" she warned, slapping his hand away.

"We're attending a cancer charity," he said. "Don't you think that going without wig would really make a statement?"

Considering his words she grew silent. Statement maybe, she just didn't know if she was ready to make it. She'd just come to terms with the idea of facing the media tonight. After a long discussion she and Chuck had agreed that the the Pink Ribbon Ball hosted by American Cancer Society was the best way to make a first public appearance.

"It's a statement I'm not ready to make," she answered, hoping it would let go of the issue. "Besides its no real hairdo up there anyway, just a bit of fluff."

"All a question of styling," he argued. "You could ask Humphrey for advice!"

They shared a wicked smile at that. For the last few years Dan tried – with less to zero success – to hide his fast receding hairline with interesting combing techniques and styles.

"What's really sad about that is that I'm still balder than him!" she pouted.

He leaned over kissing her, "I still like you better if that helps."

"A really close call, I'm sure!"

"You did read his last book, didn't you?"

Her response was cut by the car stopping and Arthur who opened the door. She took a deep breath, straightening her back. Chin up, chest out, she told herself, to nervous to even acknowledge the bad pun. Blair at her best had always known how to handle the press. The moment they stepped out of the limo, they were blinded by the flurry of camera flashes. She was the star tonight. No question. Maybe not for the reasons she would've liked, but who scrutinizes when all the attention is on you?

Her name was called from every single journalist present. Ms. Waldorf here, Ms Waldorf there. A few bold one even called her by her first name. Some uninformed ones even shouted out for Mrs. Bass.

With a gentle – not even all that fake – smile she delivered herself up to the question assailing her.

"Are they serious about this?" Chuck argued as he and Blair arrived at the Ladies Pavilion, dressed up fancily, gift in his hands. "Marrying in Central Park? Stereotype much?"

Blair rolled her eyes since they'd been having that discussion for the last thirty minutes the way here had taken them. "It's a vow renewal," she growled. "Get over yourself. It's not like our June wedding in the Plaza was all that original."

"Yeah but it cost five Million dollars, was very traditional and classy," he put the package - containing a precious tea set – on the gift table, as he continued in a toned down voice. "This just screams cheap wedding, tourists can book online!"

"Please be nice!" Blair asked of him, unlinking their arms as usher showed them to their seats.

Sitting down somewhere in the middle she could Chuck taking a look around with a frown.

"What is it now?" she asked annoyed.

"Have I stepped into one of your support groups meetings here?" he whispered, motioning subtly to all the different colored head scarfs and wigs a major part of the guest of the wedding were wearing.

"Hannah is very committed when it comes to her projects," Blair explained, to appreciating his attitude in the least. "You know you could've said so if you don't want to be here."

"I want to be here," he assured, lifting her chin so he could kiss her. "I'm just a hopeless cynic. Never mind my nagging."

"I'm glad you came here with me," she whispered against his lips, parting just in time for the music to start.

The crowd turned around watching the bride enter. Hannah looked beautiful as she walked down the aisle. Her dark hair was about three centimeter long and she wore a big calla lily in it. The simple white dress complimented her curves in the best way.

Her husband stood in front a big smile on his face as she walked up to him. All of the love he held for this woman showing on his face.

By nature Blair wasn't a religious woman. The only things she and Chuck had ever believed in were money and the class system. Still, something in her moved as the priest started his sermon.

It was the first letter to the Corinthians, the typical wedding lection, used at every single wedding she'd ever attended, including her own. She'd used to see it as nothing more then religious fancy talk, but with the months she'd just brought behind herself and how Chuck had stood by her side through everything she couldn't help that tears welled up in her eyes as the priest continued.

"Love is patient and is kind; love doesn't envy. Love doesn't brag, is not proud, doesn't behave itself inappropriately, doesn't seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil;" Chuck leaned over, placing a kiss on her temple, as the priest continued, "doesn't rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."

As the marriage ceremony continued, Blair tried to remember what her own wedding had been like. Ironically she didn't remember much, although she had spent months organizing every little detail. They'd used their own vows, that she knew. But for the love of god she wouldn't be able to tell what they'd promised each other that day. Chances were good they'd broken at least fifty percent of those promises. What she did remember was a moment at the reception when she and Blair had floated over the dance floor to "Heaven" by Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald and she remembered thinking in that moment that she had never been so happy in her life.

Through the curtain of her memory, she heard how Hannah had started reading the renewal of her vows.

"...I'll be yours in time of plenty and in time of want, in times of sickness and in time of health..."

Chuck reached for her hand linking their fingers.

"...In times of sorrow and in times of joy..."

He squeezed her hand tightly. Sorrow is behind us now, it meant. The joy will come back.

"... in times of failure and in times of triumph. I promise to cherish and respect you, to care and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you for all eternity."

Blair rested her head on his shoulder, thanking him silently. For... well, everything.

It was way past midnight as Blair and Chuck finally lay in bed. He felt exhausted, even if it was in a good way, the only thing he was capable of, was to reach out and pull Blair into his arms.

"It was a beautiful ceremony, don't you think?" she asked him, resting her cheek on his chest.

He nodded. "They seem really happy together." In a recently discovered routine, his hand caressed her head, feeling the, with every day better visible, fluff of hair.

"I think they truly are," she agreed, a musing expression crossing her face.

Something was bothering her, he could see that she was having some serious thoughts running through her mind. "What are you pondering now?"

"I want to get re-married," she stated, her tone so causal as if she would have just told him that she was having her coffee with cream.

Chuck on the other hand hit that statement completely out of the blue. Never had he ever spared a thought on remarrying. The word marriage was a synonym for all the mistakes they had made and all the hurtful things they had done.

When she turned in his arms to look at him, he realized that she was expecting him to say something and he'd been silent for at least a minute, assimilating the information. "What about you?"

"I don't. Never again," he answered. Quick and simple. Like ripping off a band-aid he figured, a short pain and then it would be over. Just a moment later he was proven differently when pure disappointment appeared on her face. His expression softened and he kissed her lips tenderly. "You know that I love you, Blair. I just don't think we should ruin what we are now by marriage."

"What exactly are we?" she asked and he wasn't sure if she was incredibly hurt or just simply pissed. When she sat up, swinging her legs out of bed, he realized that not even she knew.

"We love and respect each other," he said, sitting up and leaning back against the headboard.

"You didn't answer my question," she crossed her arms. "What are we? Boyfriend and girlfriend? I think we're way past that. Or maybe I'm your roommate? Is that what we are? Roommate's with benefits?"

He looked at her helplessly. "Is it really necessary to define every damn thing?"

She looked directly into his eyes. "Do you know me at all?"

"What else do you expect from me?"

She nodded in a resigned manner. "Nothing. You're right. I was wrong to expect anything."

With a hard and cold face she slipped back into bed, turning her back to him and pulling the covers up to her chin. As he wanted to place an arm around her waist to calm her, she shrugged it off. "You shouldn't expect anything from me either," she told him, switching off the light.

Sighing Chuck fell back onto his side of the mattress. What had he been thinking really? That Blair would squeal in joy, when he told her he didn't want to marry her again? He was such an idiot.

To be continued

AN: I do realize that this chapter maybe lacked the drama compared to the ones ahead of it, still I hope you enjoyed. If you did, please be so kind to leave a review.

Thanks for reading!