Ok. So this chapter is a bit, um, odd? But sense-making things are forthcoming. Hopefully. I'll focus more on our boys later, I'm just getting the plot established first. And what a weird one it is... confused yet? And the Christmas theme is entirely necessary, I assure you. Maybe by the time I finish the fic it'll be more seasonal. Oh, and also, I can't really remember the boys' ages in relation to LFA or DN canon, so just accept that they are what I say they are if you please. On with the story...

The scene was sort of homey, if your home was usually filled with hyperactive children and more confectionary than most people could as much as look at without feeling slightly nauseous. In the centre of the scene sat L and Light, both slim, one dark and messy-haired and crouched like a cautious cat, the other neat and meticulous, long legs crossed in front of him. Both were seated at a long, battered table, Light's end rife with adoring six year old girls with pigtails, L's with awe-struck boy of about twelve, their hair conspicuously more tousled than it had been five minutes ago. A white-haired boy of fifteen, who looked to a casual observer to be about nine, was sitting at L's feet like a faithful pet, playing with a toy dinosaur.

Behind L's chair, practically humming with excitement, stood a tall blond boy of sixteen, his clothes a little shorter, blacker and tighter than anyone else's in the room. Since all the sweet foods seemed to have shuffled over to this side of the table, the boy appeared to be making the most of this vantage point to sneak treats over his mentor's shoulder at regular intervals. Over Light's end, a skinny redhead with orange goggles pushed into his shaggy hair and a scruffy-looking puppy in his arms was eagerly trying to get his voice heard over the general din. Light was smiling, chatting and generally exuding an air of polite interest to everyone who wasn't a messy-haired, cake-shovelling detective. Said messy-haired detective was shovelling cake, and paying no attention to anyone around him.

Finally, Mello seemed to grow bored, and used his boisterous arrogance to shepherd everyone out of the room apart from Matt, who seemed to have a Get Out Of Jail Free where it came to Mello, and Near, whose presence was both inconspicuous and at least outwardly innocent of any attention-stealing properties. Light sighed in appreciation, and relaxed for approximately four seconds. Then, the bombshell came.

"Hey, L, me'n Matt'n Near were hoping you guys could help us with something," Mello piped up; he was not very good at beating around the bush.

"Oh yes?" L asked with vague interest.

Light was less optimistic; whenever the boys asked them for a favour, it generally ended up being a lot more expensive, painful or humiliating than he initially anticipated.

"What sort of thing?" he with some suspicion.

"Nothing bad," Matt interjected quickly, Mello and Near nodding along solemnly. "We didn't do anything. We just, well… actually, it's about chocolate."

Silence came in through the door, took off her coat and shoes, and settled expectantly at the table.

"Errr… chocolate." Light thought it best to clarify the situation. "You want our help because of chocolate."

"Yeah," Mello nodded encouragingly. "Yeah, chocolate. Say, L, how was the cake? Was it good?"

"It was excellent, Mello-kun," L nodded, looking unperturbed by the chocolaty turn the conversation had taken. "Is there any more?"

"No," Mello said firmly. L looked disappointed.

"The thing is," Near spoke up for the first time, "we think there's something wrong with the chocolate."

"Well, not wrong exactly," Mello amended. "Just… well, we think there's something suspicious going on."

"With chocolate?" Light said again.

"Yes," Mello nodded. "With chocolate. An investigation into chocolate, to be precise."

"Can people stop saying chocolate?" L said petulantly. "It's making me hungry."

"You are such a child," Light complained. "Look, here." He pulled out a packet of cookies from his laptop case. L gave him a wide, very affectionate smile. It had the same general effect on Light as a warm blanket and a mug of hot chocolate. With marshmallows.

"Does this mean I'm forgiven, Light-kun?" L asked hopefully. Light rolled his eyes. He was no match for that tone.

"Yes, I guess," he sighed. "I suppose you wouldn't really have been happy unless you were investigating something anyway. We may as well kill two birds with one stone. As long as we get some alone time."

This time, L's expression was suggestive of something slightly less PG rated than marshmallows.

"It's a promise," he grinned.

Matt looked confused, Near bored, and Mello slightly grossed out by the brief exchange.

"Yes, well, now you've smoothed out whatever lover's tiff you were apparently having, could we please get back to the case in hand?" Mello asked, businesslike. "L, have you ever heard of CFC?"

"CFC? It does not ring any bells. I believe it's a fairly common acronym," L frowned. Light, however, rolled his eyes, a faint smile on his face.

"You might be an excellent detective, L, but leaving other people to do everything for you, including Christmas shopping, means you are woefully ignorant in some matters."

"I resent that, Light-kun," L pouted. "I have no time for small matters such as shopping when the CIA, the FBI and M15 all have my number on speed-dial."

"So you make me do it," Light said resignedly. "I know, but even you ought to know CFC; half the presents in this bag are made by them – hey, where's the bag?" Light looked around wildly for the gargantuan sack of presents he and Watari had spent painstaking hours picking out for the children whilst L slept in the back of the car the day before.

"You do remember where you are, right?" Mello laughed unkindly. "If you take your eye of a heap of presents for five minutes in this house, you can expect them to have been stolen, distributed, broken, fixed, consumed, redistributed and sold for a profit to another kid by now."

"Oh," Light said in a small voice.

"You've been away for too long," Mello sighed theatrically. "I bet someone picked your pocket, too."

Light reached automatically for his pockets; his phone was still there. Mello snickered.

"Just kidding; we're not criminals," he said. "Well, most of us aren't. Since the presents were for them, you can't expect them to wait for Christmas until they open them. It's four whole days away."

"How old are you?" Near's voice floated up cynically from the ground.

"Older than you, midget," Mello sniped back. "And you still play with kiddie toys."

"You ought to be glad I do, or we never would have thought of this whole thing," Near responded calmly.

"Is anyone ever going to tell me what CFC is?" L asked pathetically.

Light took pity on his clueless partner.

"You know those chocolates Watari always buys? They're made by CFC," he told L. "It stands for Chocofornication.

"Choco…"

"Fornication, yes."

"Hell yeah," Mello whooped. "I picked the brand cos the name rocked so much!"

"It's also the brand of chocolate Mello eats all the time," Matt stated, in case anyone was left in any doubt on this subject.

"But lately," Near added from the ground, "they've branched out into other areas of the market. This toy," he held up his dinosaur, "is a product of CFC. Apart from there it stands for Child Fun Company."

"And my favourite games company," Matt chimed in, "is hosting a Christmas competition sponsored by Competitions For Chocolate. See who can complete their new game by December the prize is-"

"A life's supply of these." Mello held up one of his trademark bars.

"Isn't that just convenient?" Light asked. "I don't get the problem."

"Well, aside from the fact that we at Wammy's are trained to be suspicious of anything and everything," Mello replied, "it's sort of conspicuous that Near, Matt and me are all having our favourite brands taken over by this one company. At first we just thought it was kinda neat, but we've been noticing something weird about the chocolate lately."

"What sort of weird?" Light asked.

"Weird, as in the price has gone up, but more and more people seem to be buying it. And, it tastes different," Mello answered. "And trust me, if anyone is qualified to comment on the taste of Chocofornication, it's me."

"And what exactly do you want us to do?" L asked. His thumb was at his lips, and he looked completely absorbed in the not-quite-case.

"We want," Mello said dramatically, "to find out who's trying to steal Christmas."

Silence leaned her elbows on the table, and decided to exert her presence once again. She was interrupted a few seconds later by Matt.

"Pfff," he sniggered, putting his fist in his mouth. "That sounded so over the top, Mels."

"All right," Mello amended with poor grace. "We want to know what's up with CFC trying to monopolise the entire Christmas market. It can't be to bring joy to all the kiddies, right?"

"Have you considered the fact that it is the ambition of all companies to expand their market audience and make a greater profit?" L asked mildly. Mello, Matt and even Near all pulled out identical looks of distaste.

"We're not stupid," Mello said scornfully. "It's not just that. There's… something up with the chocolate. Er."

"I think I might be missing something here," L said softy, looking piercingly at the three teens, all of whom looked remarkably shifty. "Can you look me in the eye and tell me you haven't been doing anything incriminating and/or dangerous?"

"Er," Matt supplied when it looked like Mello's vocabulary had run dry.

"There might have been. Er," Mello augmented eventually.

"I think," L said, reaching for another cookie, "you had better begin from the beginning."

So last time I got a LOT of favourites and alerts. This time, some more reviews would be nice too, please. Good? Bad? Inexplicable crack? Let me know!