A/N: Some people are still hating Bella and doubt that she will grow... my only hope for those of you who feel this way is that you will trust me to tell this story the way I have planned it. Like I said in the last chapter, Bella is not being a bitch just to be a bitch... she is young and confused, and very temperamental. She will grow. Please trust.

As for Edward, a lot of people were pissed off at him after the last chapter. Good. You should be.

Quote from Pablo Neruda's poem "Saddest Poem."

Now back to the show!

BPOV

I suppose Sunday should have been better considering everything that had gone down yesterday: class with Edward, followed by confusing thoughts about my parents and Edward, and then the show where Edward had confused me further by humiliating me in front of my friends.

I could tell Leah and Seth were both very upset with what had happened, but I couldn't bring myself to explain the situation, so all they knew was that Edward (Tony) had seemed to be a dick for no good reason at all.

They didn't know I'd been asking for it ever since the first day of poli sci class. I'd been such a bitch to Edward, it was no wonder he finally struck back. I mean, even though I hated him, I could sense that he seemed to have an endless fuse on his temper. Judging by the looks his bandmates had given me after the set before Edward stormed off, I could tell that they were confused and curious about what went down.

The truth of the matter was, I wasn't angry with him. I knew I'd deserved his angry words.

But I was still hurt. I couldn't really figure out why it hurt me so much that he thought of me as a "waste of time," but I was smart enough to know that it probably had something to do with the way I'd felt watching him onstage last night.

His primal grace and elemental presence held me captive, even while he sang those angry and hurtful words directly to my face. The man I'd always imagined Tony Masen to be was slowly morphing into the reality that was Edward Cullen. He was infuriating, angry, passionate, fascinating...and beautiful.

I knew that, no matter what Edward Cullen did or said in class, he was somebody completely different when he was on that stage with his music. His ideals and his passion called to me in a way that nothing else ever had, not even the Tony Masen I'd used to worship. His music still inspired me, and I still wanted to find a way to connect with him on our shared beliefs, but things had changed since I realized who he was (and who he wasn't).

Because now, instead of simply admiring Tony Masen from the perspective of a fan girl with unrealistic fantasies, I now knew the real Tony Masen.

...Or did I? He was so elusive, and I could see how tightly controlled he was; he seemed to contain an entire world completely within himself, and it looked as if he did a pretty good job of keeping everyone and everything out.

I thought back to last night after OCS's set. Leah had followed me outside and tried to coax the story from me, but I was still inexplicably protective of the split personality that was Edward/Anthony. I didn't know if I could ever explain it all to her in a way that made sense anyway, especially considering the fact that I wasn't even sure I knew what was going on. So, instead of explaining, I just cried and Leah wrapped her comforting arms around me. During times like these, it was nice to feel her maternal instincts kicking in.

At least someone in my life was maternal, I suppose.

Anyway, the confusion and the horrible ache in my chest combined to make me just incoherent enough that she gave up on trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me. I don't know how long we stood there with her holding me while I cried, but then Edward was there and the older man from the back of the club was looking really pissed off with him.

They argued heatedly, but I didn't hear everything. All I heard was the older man say "I'm extremely disappointed in you, Edward. What do you think your mother would say if she were still alive?"

Obviously this guy was Edward's father, and I couldn't help but observe him with a compulsive interest. Edward's mother was apparently not alive anymore, and this man looked like he'd been through hell. I wondered if her death was the reason Edward was so...whatever he was. Angry. Guarded. Broken.

….where did that thought come from? Maybe it was just a hunch, but that little tidbit of information about Edward seemed to make some things click into place in a way they hadn't before. Some of his actions suddenly seemed to make sense, but one thing I just didn't understand was the split identity thing.

Why did he feel the need to play two such different people? And why did I care so much?

Leah and Emily came barging into my room with overly bright smiles and pounced on me with laughter. "Bellaaaaaaa!" Leah yelled.

I grunted and pushed them off. "Hey...what's up?" I asked unenthusiastically. I loved my girls but I really wanted to be alone right now. I just didn't feel up to having to put on a happy face for any length of time.

"We're getting you out of the house. Come on," Leah said firmly. One look at her face convinced me of her absolute determination. I knew if I said no, they'd listen to me because they were my friends and they respected me like that, but sometimes I just had to admit when they knew me better than I knew myself...and this was one of those times. Without any arguing, I stood up and located my make up while Emily chose something for me to wear and Leah found my shoes. Within ten minutes, we were out the door and headed towards...well, I wasn't exactly sure what, but I knew that Leah and Emily wouldn't let me come home unless I had a smile on my face.

EPOV

After the horrible decisions I'd made last night, I could hardly face myself in the mirror this morning. Carlisle's absence at the breakfast table seemed ominous and accusatory, and it made me feel even more like shit to remember the look on his face and the words he'd said after seeing me play last night. His last words had done their job perfectly, cutting me straight to the bone and making my heart explode with horrifying shame.

What would my mother think of who I'd become? There was no way she could be proud of me now, especially after what I'd done to Bella last night. The guys had left me in Seattle after I disappeared, and I didn't blame them. They didn't know Bella, but they knew me and I'd disappointed them with my maneuver during our set. When I stormed off after the show, they didn't bother to wait for me, knowing I would find my own way home when I was ready.

The night was mostly spent wandering the streets of Seattle huddled deep into my coat. The vision of Bella's stunned and hurt expression kept swimming insistently before my eyes, and the guilt just rolled off me in waves as I stalked up and down the deserted sidewalks and back alleys. I would have to suck up my pride and apologize to her, and I could only hope that she would be gracious about it...but this was Bella we were talking about, and I figured I'd be lucky if she only tore off my head; if I was unlucky, she'd probably steal my balls and feed them to wild dogs or something.

I sighed and tried to pull my thoughts back when there was a knock on the door. I was still in my clothes from last night, not even bothering to shower or change after the taxi from Seattle dropped me off. I shuffled toward the front door, scratching my face and running my fingers through my hair in an attempt to make myself look a little less like a sweaty bum before I greeted whomever was on the other side.

When I pulled the door open, Seth was standing there with his hands shoved deep into his pockets. His face was set in a look of pure determination, and I wondered why he was here. We didn't really know each other very well, so I was kind of surprised to see him. "Hey Seth, what's up?" I greeted confusedly.

Seth cleared his throat and dipped his head once in response. "Hey, Tony. I was wondering if I could come in and talk to you for a minute."

He sounded nervous and I racked my brain to try and figure out why. "Yeah, sure," I said, stepping back and gesturing toward the living room. His walk was stiff and uncomfortable as he crossed to the couch and sat down. "So...what's up?" I asked cautiously.

Seth sighed and scrubbed a hand down his face before speaking. "Listen, I know we kinda just met more or less, so I don't know you very well...that makes this awkward, to say the least..." he rambled nervously.

I felt much more confused now. Was he upset about last night, too? Hmm. "It's cool, Seth, just spit it out," I pushed.

He nodded jerkily and took a deep breath. "My cousin, Leah, was at the show last night. She was with Bella, the girl you sang the FATA song to."

I groaned. Fuck. "I see..." I replied.

He looked pained now. "So hey, I don't know what's going on between the two of you, but I do know that Leah is pissed and she doesn't want me to play in the band anymore..."

My jaw dropped and my mouth hung open, ready to argue. "But..."

Seth held his hand up. "Don't worry, I won't quit. I'm just trying to tell you that I know Bella really well, and I love her like family. Leah's pretty fierce when it comes to her friends, so I'm warning you that she's ready to nail your balls to the wall right now for making her best friend cry," he explained.

My stomach twisted. "I made her cry?"

He nodded gravely. "Leah was pissed when I talked to her. She wanted to know if I was a part of the idea to do the song, and I told her we all agreed to play it. We just didn't know you were intending it for Bella. The poor girl is already going through enough at home, and I definitely don't want to add to it."

I groaned. "Honestly, I wasn't really thinking straight last night," I tried to explain. Seth nodded but he still looked as if he was sucking on something sour. I wasn't sure what he meant when he'd alluded to Bella having problems at home, but I didn't think I really wanted to know. "Listen, I won't tell you the whole story, but I know Bella from a class and it's just a really twisted situation. I shouldn't have done what I did last night, and I'm really fucking sorry that you got hit with the shit that went flying."

His face relaxed a bit, but there was curiosity in his eyes now. I wouldn't, or couldn't, explain the whole situation with Bella to him, so I didn't offer up anymore information and he didn't ask anything more about it.

"So listen, here's the deal: I just don't want to be part of anything that's going to be like that, okay? Bella's my friend, and I don't want to see her get hurt. I know you're a good guy, and based on what Emmett and Jasper said on the drive home, I know that last night was completely unlike you, but I just want to be clear that I don't want to be used for any sort of hating ritual you've got goin' on here," Seth said firmly.

I felt a spark surprise; Seth had always been kind of quiet and shy at our rehearsals, so this was the first time he'd ever really put his foot down on something. I was really uncomfortable with the fact that it was about me and my juvenile behavior, but I had to respect it all the same. Therefore, I said: "You're right, it was completely wrong of me to use you and the other guys to do what I did. I'm truly sorry, and I want you to know it'll never happen again."

He seemed to assess my words, weighing them for sincerity. Whatever he saw must have passed muster, because he let out a relieved breath. "You know, I owe Bella for a lot. When we were all in high school, she was the one who converted all of us to veganism. She's always been so passionate and compassionate, and that just kind of rubbed off on the rest of us. It really brought all of us much closer together, and over the years, we've really formed a really strong bond that I don't think would have lasted beyond high school if it wasn't for Bella. I don't know why you guys haven't hit it off, but I'd have to say... you two are so similar, it's kind of freaky."

I was stunned. "What makes you say that?" I asked, my voice shocked and raspy.

He laughed. "Well, I'm sure she'd never own up to it, but she owns everything OCS has ever recorded, and she's been your number one fan since day one. She credits you and OCS with really educating her and making her more passionate about veganism. It really just doesn't make any sense to me why you two aren't totally tight," he explained, looking completely confused.

I'm pretty sure my jaw was on the floor at this point. Who knew Bella was such an obsessive OCS fan? How could I have missed this?

And if what Seth said was true, then why couldn't we get along better? Some of my preconceived notions about Bella were slowly crumbling, and I wasn't sure what to think about that.

I couldn't speak anymore on the topic, but we relaxed a bit and started talking about music and the band. Time flew by before it occurred to me that I could possibly find out where Bella was today. I wanted to apologize to her before next weekend, because I didn't want to let the situation stew that long. "Hey, do you think you could find out where Bella is today? I want to apologize to her," I explained.

Seth pulled out his phone and called someone—likely Leah. "Hey hey, cuz. Where ya at?" he asked. He listened for a moment before smiling and saying: "Oh, cool, cool. I just wondered what Bella was up to today because I talked to Tony, and..." he trailed off, his eyes bugging out and a panicked expression crossing his face. I figured Leah was probably chewing him out, judging by the looks he was giving me. Great, this is just great. What a horrible situation.

Finally, he was able to get a word in edgewise. "So are you at Fenix Tattoo, then? Awesome," he said before he hung up his phone. "So, they're getting tattoos up in Seattle at Fenix Tattoos. Leah said Bella's feeling a little bit better, but she's going through some other shit with her mom or whatever, so she's still pretty fucked up about that, I guess. I don't know if you want to go all the way up there just to apologize, but I think they're probably gonna be there for a while because Leah and Emily are both getting work on their sleeves and Bella wants something big too."

I nodded and thought through the rest of my day. There wasn't anything that really needed to get done, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to head up there and see about maybe getting some touch-ups on my back piece of my mom. I'd been to Fenix for other tattoos before, so I was familiar with the artists and the location. "Thanks, Seth, I think I'll head up there and just get this off my chest before the week gets away from me. I don't want Bella to feel bad about this," I told him.

Seth nodded and stood up, looking far more comfortable now. He crossed to me and gave me an encouraging slap on my back before he wished me good luck and disappeared the way he came. I decided to eat some leftover scramble before I went to take a shower and clean up a bit before heading off to Seattle.

A few hours later, I was parking on the side street next to Fenix. I felt nerves clanging around inside my stomach, and I knew exactly why: Bella was here, and I'd have to eat humble pie shortly. This was awkward, to say the least.

I walked into the shop and waved to Thomas, who was working on some girl's ribs. I winced in sympathy and looked around for Steve, the other guy there I knew. We talked for a bit, but I started to worry when I didn't see Leah or Bella. I told him what I wanted done, and he lifted the counter for me to pass into the back cubicle where he was set up. Along the way, I passed Thomas and the girl he was working on. My eyes took in the soft expanse of pale skin revealed by her bunched up shirt as I tried to see what she was getting done. Thomas caught me looking and gave me a dirty old man wink, which caused me to flush and raise my eyes to her face quickly. My mouth dropped open in shock when I saw Bella's face, totally relaxed in sleep with ear buds in her ears. She looked peaceful, and I wondered how she could sleep through someone tattooing her freaking ribs.

Thomas must have noticed my expression, because he chuckled and told me, "This girl has such a high fucking pain threshold, it's ridiculous. I've done tattoos on her before, and she just always falls asleep like she doesn't even feel it."

I found myself unwillingly impressed. I looked around for Leah again before my eyes drifted back to her sleeping form laid out on the massage table they used for the hard-to-reach tattoos. There were words forming along her ribs, wrapping from the center of her chest back around her side, just under her left breast. I watched as her chest rose and fell methodically, soothingly. The words weren't done yet, but I could still see the purple transfer on her, and if I squinted my eyes, I could read it...and I was surprised to see a line from one of my favorite poems forming under Thomas' tattoo gun: "Her infinite eyes," I whispered aloud, wondering if she and I had this in common.

Thomas looked up again and smiled at me. "She told me it's a line from her favorite poem by this guy...shit, what's his name?"

"Pablo Neruda," I replied confidently.

He nodded. "Yeah, that's it. She showed me the poem...it's fucking depressing, you know?"

I shook my head and noticed Steve setting up his station. Bella was fast asleep on the table, and I allowed myself to look at her for a moment more before I forced my eyes away and walked over to Steve.

About twenty minutes later, my shirt was off and I was leaning forward in the chair while Steve's gun went about touching up the elaborate back piece I'd gotten about a year ago to celebrate my mother. I had my eyes glued on Bella as Thomas finished up her tattoo. When her face was unguarded and her mouth wasn't spewing anger, she was actually really easy to look at. Her hair looked soft and silky; I used to love to play with my girlfriends' hair back in the day. Her cheeks were flushed in sleep and her mouth hung open slightly, making her look like I'd imagine Little Red Riding Hood would look all grown up.

Let's just ignore for the moment that I'd had the hots for Red when my mom used to read me bedtime stories.

Thomas was finished and he nudged her gently awake. She sat up and smiled at him sleepily, and I felt a strange response to that smile somewhere in my gut. Strange. Anyway, she stood up and let him wrap it before she turned and spotted me looking at her so intently. I jerked my face into a super awkward smile and felt the guilt come surging back when her eyes narrowed on mine intently. She thanked Thomas and stalked over to me, looking furious. I cleared my throat and decided to cut her off before she could rip me a new one. "Good afternoon, Bella. Listen...I wanted to apologize to you for last night. It was really uncalled for, and I feel horrible about it," I began. Why did I have to sound like such a fucking nerd?

BPOV

Why oh why did this guy have to bring out the worst in me? Even though I'd already admitted I wasn't angry with him for last night, I just...ugh! Waking up after Thomas finished my tattoo to see Edward/Tony sitting across from me, looking all hot with his shirt off...and then that smug fucking smile showed up, and it was like my blood pressure went through the roof. How could I forget the fact that he was Mr. Right Wing Douche Bag?

Easy, Bella. He's half-naked and hot and fuck...he's NOT eye candy, Bella!

I stopped in my tracks when I heard his apology, but my hands still dropped to my hips as I cocked her hip out and stared him down. "Ton...Ed...fuck it, I'm calling you Toneward from now on. What are you doing here?" I fumed. If I couldn't admire him in all his inked up half-naked glory, then at least I could wipe that smug look off his face.

"Oh, yeah, umm... Seth told me you guys would be here today, and I needed to get my back touched up anyway, so I figured it would be a good chance to come apologize to you for being such a dick last night," he explained.

EPOV

In retrospect, it sounded kind of...creepy. Or stalkerish. Awesome.

I had to remind myself that this girl was the bane of my existence, and she looked like she was out for blood; it wouldn't be a good idea to let my guard down now. I jerked slightly and breathed through my nose when the tattoo gun at work on my back started along my spine.

"Hurts, huh?" she sneered, her hands still on her hips in a defiant manner.

I grimaced and asked, "Jesus, can't you ever chill out?"

Why couldn't we have a fucking civil conversation? Why did it always have to spark up and burn out of control whenever we were in the same room together? I was starting to feel like a bad TV movie or, worse, a junior high kid with his first crush.

She huffed and looked away from me quickly; I wondered what that was all about. "Whatever. You're the one who went off the fucking deep end and embarrassed the shit out of me in front of my friends last night," she replied haughtily.

Bella was right, of course, but her tone had me getting my back up, and I didn't want to play nice anymore. Watching her stand there with that sourpuss look on her face just reminded me of the fact that she thought she was above reproach in comparison with myself, but she just didn't even know the half of it. "Don't act like I'm the only one who dishes, here. You know as well as I do that you give as good as you got last night," I told her straight out, getting kind of angry now. How dare she act like she smelled like roses?

Steve snorted behind me and I realized after the fact just how loaded my last words were. I sighed and tried to glare at him over my shoulder, but I didn't want to mess him up so I settled for grumbling under my breath.

BPOV

Fuck, he was right. Didn't I just admit earlier today that I was a bitch to him? Why was I acting like such a hypocrite? My pulse was racing and my head was pounding. I took a mental step back and tried to take a deep breath. If he could apologize, then so could I. It didn't mean anything would change much, but maybe we could at least call a truce. Big gusty sigh. "Okay, you know what? You're right. I don't know how this got so out of hand. I'm sorry for calling your show and threatening to out you," I offered magnanimously.

Just then, Leah and Emily walked in and spotted Edward talking to me. Leah's eyes narrowed and she shoved the paper food bag she was carrying into Emily's arms before she stomped over in our direction. My eyes widened as I tried to stop the train wreck in progress, knowing Edward was about to get the reaming of his life from Mother Tigress Leah.

"Um, Edward? You should probably play dead...or something," I tried to warn.

A/N: Yay! Progress!! :)