A/N: I'm so so so sorry for the long wait...Hope there are still people, who read the story.

Reviews are always welcome.

And thanks to Abby for beta-ing this chapter. =)

The limo ride to the church was quiet. Nobody dared to speak and Chuck was busy emptying his bottle of scotch.

After they stepped out of the limo, Nate helped Chuck to stand on his feet, because he was pretty drunk. His hand still hurt a bit from the action in the bathroom, but he ignored it.

They walked towards the church and it seemed so familiar. It reminded him so much of his fathers' funeral, the only difference being that this time nobody was on his left side; just Nate on his right, who was totally sad himself, trying to help him. The bottle of scotch was still in Chuck's hand.

"Give me the bottle!" Nate ordered, trying to grab the bottle out of his best friend's hand.

"No!" Chuck protested angrily, making Serena, who was walking in front of them with Lily and Eric, turn around.

"Chuck, it wasn't your fault." She told him in the same way that he had told her in the hospital. Sincere.

"Yes, as if you mean what you say." He scoffed, leaning closer to her and still trying to hold his balance. He was glad Nate was there to hold him.

"I mean what I say." Serena defended herself.

"You're just saying that to shed the remorse that you have towards me, so please spare me this bullshit and leave me alone." He told her, because she was the one who had caused all of this guilt in him by telling him everything in the hospital. Who wouldn't have felt guilty after that?

"I just thought you should know that it was never my intention to let you believe that." She sighed heavily, ignoring his comment, and turned around to catch Lily and Eric. Chuck just rolled his eyes, because it didn't change anything for him. His thoughts were still the same. It was his fault.

---

Serena and Eric were already walking into the church when Nate and Chuck reached the stairs. Lily was waiting for them on top of the stairs with a worried expression, next to Eleanor. When they walked up the stairs, they got stopped by Eleanor.

"No, no, no!" She said furiously, while looking at Chuck, who didn't understand for a moment what was going on.

"You!" She pointed at him. "You are not going inside of this church! Not after what you did to my daughter!" She said anger all over her face. Now it became clear to him, she had heard about the Gossip Girl blast, Chuck thought.

"Eleanor, don't be ridiculous." Chuck heard Lily saying. "He was a friend to her." She added.

"The only thing he was to her was a burden!" Eleanor said, while tears were forming in her eyes. Chuck furrowed his eyebrows.

"I warned her and told her that you are not the right for her, that she wasn't made for someone like you. But she told me that I didn't understand!" She laughed sadly. "She was convinced that you two belonged together and for a moment I thought that maybe she was right and I really didn't understand, because she seemed so sure. So when she told me some days later that she wants to confess her love to you I didn't stop her." She shook her head, when she remembered their conversation.

"But of course it was exactly the way I thought; the only thing you could give her was heartache." She looked him straight in the eyes, with the most menacing look that Chuck had ever seen.

"Before you were in the picture everything was perfect with her and now just look what happened," Eleanor claimed naively.

"Eleanor, I don't think that's necessary; he didn't…" Lily tried to mediate between them, but Chuck cut her off.

"No Lily! It's okay." Chuck said calmly and faced Eleanor.

"Which perfect life are you referring to?" He asked her with a faked innocent look. There was no perfect life that he remembered. "The one where she couldn't be herself and where she did everything – including destroying herself – only so that you would notice her?" He pushed further, knowing full well that he had hit a sore spot with that.

"Oh, and just for the record, she loved me and she hated you!" He said with a smug smile on his face.

"Charles!" Lily cut in terrified.

"What?" Chuck asked with a fake smile on his face. "If she thinks she's allowed to judge other people, then she has to look at herself first." Chuck said, while looking into Eleanor's eyes. The alcohol was slowly taking some effect within him and the speechlessness from Eleanor just encouraged him to continue making her feel as miserable as he did. Then he wouldn't be the only one who would feel guilty. He wouldn't be so alone.

"You made her feel unneeded, unwanted. You're the reason she felt so insecure and it's your fault she was so vulnerable. Why do you think that she had problems accepting herself as she was? You chose everyone over her and you can only guess how horrible she must have felt having a mother like you!" He screamed at her nastily. He would have never said those words if he hadn't have been drunk, but surprisingly it felt good and it wasn't like he cared anymore.

"How dare you…" Eleanor started slowly with a shaky voice, when she found her tongue.

"What? Tell the truth? I made her feel special, because she was special to me; she was the only person that I knew would be there for me whenever I needed her. She was the only girl that I fell in love and that I ever will fall in love with. I knew her as well as everybody else here, if not even better." Chuck shouted at her. How easy it was to say it. To admit to everybody that he loved her; but why the hell had it been so hard for him to tell her that?

Eleanor just blinked a few times, dazed by his statements; the minute she opened her mouth to counter with something, Harold appeared on her side.

"Eleanor, I don't think now is the time to argue." He said to her and then turned to Chuck.

"Young man, I ask you to leave this place." Harold said, just wanting his daughter's funeral to pass smoothly without any fights and scandals, because he knew she wouldn't have wanted that. But his statement left Chuck horrified.

"What?" Chuck asked him puzzled. They weren't serious, were they? He didn't want to believe that they really wanted him to leave.

"You heard right." Harold said with a harsh tone.

"If you would have known your daughter, you would also know that she would want me here!" He screamed at them and if Nate wouldn't have held him back, he was sure that he would have jumped on them.

Harold leaned forward to him. "And if you would have known my daughter, you would know what a perfectionist she was and that she would hate to see such a scene." Harold countered.

Chuck laughed sarcastically, realizing that he had no chance of staying there. So he walked down the stairs, shaking his head in disbelief. When he reached the pavement he turned to them.

"Okay!" He shouted at them, while walking backwards into the street without realizing it. He was angry. Angry at life for always choosing him to torture. That it was always him who suffered. What was the meaning of life anymore if you lost the one person who meant everything to you? He knew only one solution to escape from all of this.

"If your daughter thinks she can sleep forever, then so can I!" He yelled at them and pulled the sleeping pills out of his pocket and raised his hands so they could see the box.

"Charles!" Lily said, full of shock, after seeing a familiar little box in his hand, which he'd already opened. She walked down the stairs as well. Eleanor and Harold looked as shocked as Lily. "CHARLES! WATCH OUT!" Lily screamed.

Chuck, who was standing in the middle of the street, with his full attention on that little box, heard a loud honk from the side. He turned around to see what was happening and was met by a painful hit. All of a sudden everything went black.

A/N: So what do you guys think? I have to say that I don't know when I will update the next chapter, but the chapter will be definitely something that nobody's expecting...lol! Nevertheless I hope that you'll like how the story will turn out.

Reviews put a smile on my face =)