It is loneliness that makes the loudest noise.
-Eric Hoffer

I opened my eyes to the sounds of flapping wings. There were two black beady eyes staring at me. Screaming I quickly got up and the crow took off cawing as it flew tough a broken crack in the wall. Memories of the night before flooded into me and my eyes widened. He was here, and now he was gone. My heart ached with so much pain I had to hold the wall and close my eyes. As soon as I regained myself I looked around the empty room: my eyes wandering to the spots where images once stood. Would they be back? I stood alone, by myself in a room that once held so much happiness. Now it held sadness and a broken life.

I remembered the last time I was in this room. I had sat on the edge of Nessie bed watching an angle sleep. Thinking "How could this be real?" Edward had walked into the room and was standing behind me. My shield was off and he heard that thought. Taking my head in his hands still ever so lightly he raised my chin. "I'm here Bella" he had whispered. "I'm here and always here for you my love" then he placed a light kiss on my lips and took my hand into his. When he held my hand there was always something that reassured me, told me through actions that everything was going to be okay, that we were all here, together forever; but we weren't and knowing that, hurt the most.

The sun blazed through an open crack the same one the crow had flown through. Sun. Oh no, what time is it. I didn't have a watch or a cell phone. Crap Charlie must be so worried about me. I quickly ran out of the room but a creak in the floor boards stopped me. I looked down at my feet, and then I quickly counted the boards from the left side of the room to the creaking one. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6…7. Gasping I fell to the floor raking my fingers at the board. My fingers started bleeding but I continued to try and loosen it. With a final crack it popped up, just enough for me to stick my hand through. My fingers wrapped around the small body of the doll and ever so slowly pulled it out. I was afraid that when my hand surfaced again the doll wouldn't be there, so I tightened my grip around it.

There it was. The dress was a pink -well, nightgown not a dress- with white polka dots. It had a head full of short brown hair and brown eyes. It was my old doll, the one that I had given to Renesmee to keep as her own. When I gave it to her we would always hide it under the floor board; seven boards from the left wall. She hid it because she didn't want to lose it. I hugged the doll to my chest, letting a few tears escape. Not sad tears but relief tears because this proved that something was wrong with my "Life". This proved that I did have a daughter and this small doll gave me reassurance.

Holding the doll I walked from the house closing the door softly behind me. Not once did I put the doll down. When I got back in the truck, I laid the doll besides me and put the keys in the ignition. The truck let out a grumble then died. I tried again, this time it didn't even grumble.

"Are you serious?" I yelled at the truck then hit the wheel with my fists. The engine roared to life. Backing up as fast as I could, I hurried out of the opening and onto the small road. I wanted to get as close to home as I could before this thing died on me again. I got all the way home… surprisingly. I reached for the small doll, holding it as if it were the Ming dynasty vase. But in my eyes this simple little doll, was priceless, I tucked it into my jacket oh so carefully then got out of the truck and headed for the house. I found Charlie frantically talking on the phone. He looked at the door as I was opening it and then sighed as I walked through, ended his conversation with whomever, and threw the disregarded phone onto the couch.

"Oh Bella, where have you been?" To be truthful he sounded a little like mom.

"I got lost" I said

"You got lost? How do you get lost in this town?"

"Um… I was driving and I just kept following the road then next thing I know I had no Idea where I was" my lying sounded surprisingly true, even to me. "Then I just slept in my truck and followed the road back. I'm sorry dad I didn't think it could happen" He looked at me with a concerned look on his face, and then slowly smiled. It was a sad smile but I could understand why. He pulled my into an awkward side hug.

"I was really worried about you Bella; I called everywhere, the station, Sully's, the res, the B&B"

"Wait," I said "the res?" My heart started to fill with happiness and joy. The res!

"Yes, I suppose you wouldn't exactly remember, but my old friend Billy, Billy Black, you met him when you were younger, he lives on the reservation."

"With Jacob?" I asked my voice filled with hope.

"Well Jacob moved to Seattle with his sister Rachel, she's attending school there, and he's taking some engineering classes at the UW thanks to her."

All the happiness that I had felt fill my heart, was violently sucked out of the bottom again. I tried not to let it show on my face, and smile, but I guess Charlie knows the difference between a smile and a contorted smile.

"What's the matter Bells?" he started to reach out hesitantly but then dropped his arm at his side.

"It's just, I feel like I've missed everything."

"Oh that's nonsense, your still young, at the peak of life; you have so many wonderful things to achieve in life. You're a beautiful young woman, and you have so much ahead of you, believe me you didn't miss anything."

I smiled at him, Charlie had changed, and he wasn't that awkward father anymore. I guess going through what he did, almost losing his only daughter made him realize something. And I was grateful for that. It made me happy; he was that small bit of light in the darkness that seemed to envelope me.

AN: So… it's been almost 1yr and a half….. heh… Screw an explanation, just know I'm back and I hope I'm here to stay! Please could you hold back on the flames about it being so long, I know how long it's been and I am REALLY sorry! Also, just found this chapter in my files, and had no idea what I was thinking when I originally wrote it, so I tried to finish it as non-boringly as possible, but I will admit I was so lost on what to write. And on top of that, ('cause you know there just has to be something else) I have no clue where my outline of this story went, so I've been trying to pull memories from the dusty filing cabinet in my head labeled BAWM (Black and White Memories, just in case you didn't catch the acronym) with no prevail. So be prepared for anything, because even I'm not sure where this story is going to go. Thanks a bunch! ~Ezz