A/N: Ohhhh man, moving, school, babies, husbands, life, so much going on... needless to say, it's been a while. I'm sorry for that. I hope you'll forgive me after you read this:)
I know some of you didn't get previews for this chapter, and I'm sorry. I blame the fact that I don't have internet on my laptop, so everything has to go on a thumb drive and blah blah blah, I'm boring you, so I'll just shut up and say I promise I'll give everyone a preview for a review next time.
Here we go!
BPOV
I stood in front of the door and wiped my sweating hands down my pants, hoping to at least appear calm.
I was about to go to an OCS band practice.
My hand trembled slightly as I knocked on the door. I wasn't sure who would answer the door, but I kind of hoped it would be Edward because he was the only one of them I actually knew.
When a knockout blonde answered the door, my nerves intensified. I could only assume this was Rosalie, Emmett's wife. It would make sense, seeing as how this was Emmett's house.
The blonde blinked as if surprised and asked politely, "May I help you?"
I stood there frozen for a moment, feeling really awkward. Luckily, I was saved by Edward when he came to the door behind her and smiled down at me. "Rose, this is Bella. I think I told you a little bit about her. She's here to watch band practice," he said.
Her eyes widened a bit and I thought I saw a corner of her mouth kick up, but the smirk was gone before I knew it. I was suddenly afraid that she'd give me the third degree like Alice had, but she just smiled and opened the door wider. "Well, it's nice to finally meet you. Come on in. Would you like anything to drink or eat?"
I was stunned by her friendliness. I guess I was afraid any friend of Edward's would automatically hate me, but she was looking at me with an openly curious expression rather than an openly antagonistic expression.
"Oh, thanks. I'm good. I just ate before I came," I said, feeling awkward around her good manners. I was willing to bet she was a very proper hostess.
Edward laid a friendly kiss on Rose's cheek and smiled at her with a hint of gratitude. "I'm gonna show Bella around, if that's okay?"
She nodded and shooed us away, so I followed behind Edward and tried not to marvel at the physical differences in him over the course of the weekend.
He was wearing the kind of clothes he wore for his shows: black Dickies shorts, slung low on his hips and held up by a studded belt, a black and white bandanna stuffed in his back pocket, and a white old school Minor Threat t-shirt with a black long-sleeved thermal underneath. His hair was covered up with a black baseball cap and he had black horn-rimmed glasses on.
Since when did he need glasses?
He led me through the kitchen and dining room and then down the hall, where he pointed out the bathroom in case I needed to use it. He gestured to the door at the end of the hall and told me it belonged to Emmett and Rosalie before he swung open a door to his right. "This is their guest room, but I've been staying here, so it's kind of messy. Sorry."
I stepped inside the room and looked around, curious to see what it looked like. Just the idea of being in Edward's room, even if it was only temporary for him, caught my interest in a way that I wasn't fully prepared to admit yet.
"I didn't know you wore glasses," I said dumbly.
He started throwing clothes into a pop-up hamper in the corner and I just smiled because, really, this room was practically spotless compared to mine. "Oh, yeah, I normally wear contacts but I lost one yesterday and I haven't gotten my new boxes in the mail yet."
I nodded and went back to looking around.
The walls were painted a soft minty green, and there was a neutral-looking desk positioned just under the wide window, which overlooked the back yard. I saw his laptop perched there with a bunch of books and papers surrounding it. I saw that his iTunes was open, and I was sorely tempted to go comb through his collection, but my eyes were drawn to the bed.
The sheets were white with tan stripes, and the comforter was bunched up at the bottom. The pillow was creased where his head would rest, and the sight of it gave me a curious reaction...almost like a longing to be there when he slept, to know what he looked like when he was completely relaxed and at peace with the world.
His eyes followed mine and he looked slightly embarrassed. "Oh, uh, sorry. Here, let me just..." he mumbled as he walked over to the bed and swiftly made it up so it looked nice and clean once more.
A little part of me mourned, because in a way, it was like closing the door on the minor bit of intimacy I'd felt surrounding us as I'd stared at his unmade bed.
He turned and looked at me. "Have a seat. I just have to find something really quick."
I took a tentative seat on the bed and was instantly surrounded by his scent, clean and spicy mixed with the smell of fabric softener. It made the butterflies in my stomach rear up and sing while my lips and thighs began to ache. I watched him with longing as he searched for something in his closet. He reached up for whatever it was, and I watched in fascination as his leg muscles flexed beneath the taut skin.
When he turned around, he caught me staring and I choked on my drool. I looked away quickly, but the damage was already done. I heard him coming closer and my heart kicked into overdrive. I stared at my shoes as I felt the bed dip down next to me.
"I feel like we need to talk about...well, about what happened the other night at the show, but I really haven't had time to sort it out in my mind, you know?" he said quietly.
I nodded; still afraid to look at him for fear that I'd pounce on him.
"I mean, I've just had a lot going on with the band, and school, and my dad, and now you're here and I know what I want to do, but I don't know if it's a very good idea..." he trailed off, and I looked up at him.
"What do you mean, you know what you want to do, but you don't know if it's a good idea?" I asked, a little bit confused and a little bit hopeful and a little bit disappointed. Did he regret kissing me? Did he think it was a bad idea to be with me?
His eyes were dark as he looked down at me. His face was a study in frustration and conflict. "It's like this: I like being with you, and I'm really freakingattracted to you, but we're so different and I'd just hate for things to get ugly, you know?"
His honesty stunned me. I wasn't even really sure how to respond. I was attracted to him, too, but something in his words gave me the impression that he was more reluctant than even I was to start something.
Because, yeah, even though we were really different, we still had a lot in common, and well... "I'm not really sure what to say to that, honestly. I mean, I don't really think we're all that different, you know? We're both vegan, and we like the same music, and we're both into politics..."
"...and my personal beliefs are still really different from yours, Bella. I can't just forget that. I don't know if that's something that we could honestly get around," he said with a weary sigh.
I looked down at my clenched hands and saw that his were clenched, too. I peeked up at him out of the corner of my eye and felt so frustrated with our inability to get to where I felt like we both wanted to go. "Maybe...I don't know, maybe we're just thinking too much. What if we just give it a shot and see where it goes? I mean, we keep thinking of all the reasons why we shouldn't be together, but what about why we should?" I said, blushing a little at the vulnerability I felt that was laid bare by my words.
A moment of silence filled the bedroom before he whispered, "...and why should we?"
Without allowing myself to back away, I looked up at him and gripped his jaw in both hands, bringing his face closer to mine. I spared a brief look at his soft lips before I descended upon them, feeling them slide against mine with a delicious friction. I wanted to kiss him so much that my hands began to shake.
I moved my lips against his, sliding and puckering, giving him small soft kisses before he began to respond. His mouth opened slightly and I inhaled his cinnamon breath. I sighed in bliss and leaned into him, wrapping my arms around his neck and tugging his hat off so I could bury my hand in his soft hair. His breath skipped and I smiled against his mouth, enjoying the fact that I could affect him.
He surprised me when he drew my bottom lip between his and nibbled on it slightly as his hands came up to wrap around my ribs, just under my breasts. My breasts began to ache and I wondered how far we could go before one or both of us pulled away. I shifted closer and felt him do the same. We were in an awkward position, both sitting with our legs out in front of us and our torsos twisted at the waist so we could get close to each other.
The tip of my tongue peeked out of my mouth and I felt his brush against it. I opened my mouth wider and he took it as an invitation, delving into my mouth softly. I hummed in pleasure and buried my other hand in his hair, scratching his scalp gently and trying to pull him closer.
Our tongues dipped and retreated, tasting each other. When things started to heat up a little, I started to lean back, trying to pull him down with me. His left hand brushed down my side, landing on my hip. His thumb pushed into my pelvic bone and I squirmed, feeling my panties dampen. He leaned into me, and I brought my left leg up and around so that I could lie back on the bed.
He shifted around so he could follow me down, and I started to kiss him more aggressively. I felt sure that mirrors would fog with the heat between us right now. The hand pressing into my hip moved down and reached down to wrap around my thigh, and I moaned lightly in anticipation. I wanted to feel all of him pressing me into the mattress beneath us.
A loud rap sounded on the door. "Bro, you ready for practice?" someone asked. I assumed it was Emmett.
Edward froze on top of me, and I felt the shift in the air go from passionate to incredibly awkward in the span of .05 seconds. His hand fell away from my thigh and he immediately retreated, sitting up and running a hand through his now-rumpled hair. I watched him pick up the hat and put it back on with regret.
I really liked that Bella-messed-up-my-hair-during-our-hot-make-out-session look.
I wanted to cover myself up, but I was still fully clothed. I wanted to run away, but that would have been really ridiculous.
I needed to do something, though, because I was still lying there panting and incredibly turned on while he was sitting there looking...guilty.
"Um, I guess we should go to the garage now," he said awkwardly without looking at me.
"Oh, okay," I replied feebly, unable to look at him either.
Did I just totally fuck up? What did he have to feel guilty about?
That thought swam around in my head as we walked toward the back door and out into the separate structure in the back yard. I heard Emmett tapping the drums to warm up and I recognized Seth's car parked on the side of the house.
I experienced a moment of panic when I realized that I'd have to face him after whatever had just happened in there, and I hadn't even told Leah or Emily where I would be today. They'd know as soon as Seth told them, and I'd get a shit load of questions about it.
They knew I didn't hate Edward anymore, but they didn't exactly know how much I really liked him now.
And that was sure to inspire a lot of awkward questions, because I hadn't really explained the situation to them yet. They didn't know that Tony Masen was Edward, aka Captain Christian. Both of them were atheists, so I knew they'd question my desire to date someone so religiously inclined, even though I wasn't exactly an atheist. I fancied myself more on the agnostic side of things, really, but that always sounded kind of wishy-washy or lazy to me, so I usually just said I didn't really believe in God.
The truth was, I was just as confused about Edward as to how any sort of relationship between us could work with these differences, but I was just too fucking hot for him to care at this point.
Edward greeted the guys and Seth looked at me curiously as if to say "Why are you here?" but he just nodded and smiled at me slightly. Jasper gave me a friendly smile and I wondered if Alice was the only one of Edward's friends who apparently thought I was akin to a piece of chewed up gum stuck to her shoe.
Emmett gave me a head nod and a wink before he went back to tapping his cymbals with his sticks. Jasper turned on his amp and Seth tested his foot pedal as Edward began checking the microphone.
Once they had everything ready to go, the music started up and I sat back on the dirty old couch positioned in front of them. I kind of felt like a groupie, but I couldn't really bring myself to care, because I was getting a private show from my favorite band and that made it totally worth it.
The music was rough and when Edward started shouting, it wasn't a song I recognized. The beat pounded and I tapped my feet when I felt the breakdown coming. Jasper and Seth joined Edward on vocals before Emmett's drumming got heavier and everything slowed down, signaling the breakdown. Edward bobbed his head in time with the beat, watching Emmett for his cue to start singing again.
This song sounded more metal than their usual fare, but I liked it. I was more of a metalcore girl, but OCS's usual sound was more on the old school hardcore level, with less heavy beats and more shouting than screaming. I welcomed this slight shift in their music.
The breakdown ended and Edward came back to the mic, giving a boost of energy to finish the song. After it was over, he turned to Seth. "How'd that feel?" he asked.
Seth grinned and strummed his guitar as he spoke. "Felt good. I know you guys are used to the old school stuff, so I'm glad you're willing to try this new sound."
Jasper set his bass down and grabbed a water bottle, taking a big swig before speaking. "I like it, too. I wasn't sure at first, because metalcore's getting a little mainstream, but this feels good. I'm glad we took a chance on you, man."
Seth's smile widened and Emmett clicked his sticks together to get their attention. "Okay, now that this Love Fest is over, can we get back to rockin'??"
The guys laughed and Emmett started the next song, which was much in the same vein as the last. I watched Edward, trying to hide my hunger for him. He looked so fucking hot, shouting and moving like a wild, primal animal while the music played. I felt myself responding to him, losing myself more and more in him.
I tried not to be that obvious, but honestly, I'm sure I had drool dripping down my chin.
Who could blame me? I mean, really. He was only a couple feet away, and he was like my fucking wettest fantasies come to life with his inked up arms, his intense presence, his fucking...gah! He was just too much.
The practice went on for another hour and a half after that, and I sat there in complete and utter awe (and lust) the entire time. Halfway through, he'd taken his shirt off because he was getting sweaty from the exertion of singing.
I wished I could take my shirt off because I wasgetting sweaty from the exertion of resisting him.
About ten minutes before practice ended, I got a text message from Leah asking where I was.
I chewed my lip as I considered what to tell her, and I tasted cinnamon. My cheeks flared as I stared at Edward, knowing that I could taste him on me. It was just so good and so bad at the same time, because I wanted nothing more than to jump him right here, right now.
Finally, I told her I'd call her in an hour and left it at that so I could focus on the last song. They were doing another cover, and I was amazed at how they could adapt mainstream music into their unique sound and make it sound good.
Practice ended and Edward picked up a towel and wiped down his face and chest. I felt the drool pooling in my mouth as I watched him talking to the guys. I resisted the urge to steal the towel and bronze it, because really, that towel was a lucky bitch to be so up close and personal with his body, dammit.
His attention returned to me and he seemed more relaxed than he was before the practice. I gave him a small smile as he came over to me. "Hey, did you have fun?" he asked.
I nodded. "Oh man, it was so awesome to see you guys like that!" I gushed, feeling like a huge nerd.
He chuckled self-consciously and tossed the towel down on the couch next to me. I peeked at it out of the corner of my eye and felt my hand twitch toward it.
I was officially a fucking creeper when it came to Edward "Toneward" Cullen.
A thought occurred to me and I looked back up at him. "What does OCS even stand for, anyway?" I asked curiously. I'd been wondering for years.
His lips kicked up in an amused smirk and he turned to Emmett. "Hey Em, Bella wants to know what OCS stands for. Do you wanna tell her?" he asked jokingly.
Emmett groaned and I looked back and forth between them, wondering what the big joke was. Finally, Emmett laughed and said, "It stands for 'Onward Christian Soldier.'"
I sat there, my mouth agape. "You're serious?"
Edward and Jasper laughed uproariously as Seth grinned and drank his water. Emmett looked bashful as he explained, "I was the one who came up with it. I thought it'd be kind of funny, you know? But when we first got together, all of us were really excited to play and I'd just been baptized and well...it seemed like a good name at the time, but we decided to shorten it because we didn't want to scare people off our music. I mean, it's not like we're DC Talk or the Newsboys or some shit, you know?"
I kind of wanted to laugh, most especially at myself for loving their music all this time without realizing I was listening to a Christian band. "You should change it to Band of Christians," I suggested with a grin.
Seth laughed. "I think Band of Horses already took that cake."
Edward shook his head. "We're fine with OCS, especially because Jasper came up with something funnier for it to stand for," he said.
I looked over at Jasper and quirked an eyebrow in question. He threw his empty water bottle at Edward and laughed. "Onward Christian Slater," he told me.
Everyone laughed out loud and for the first time, I felt completely comfortable with them. I'd only ever met Christians who took everything about their beliefs very seriously and nobody could crack a joke without offending them, but these guys weren't like that. It served to put my mind at ease a bit, honestly.
They gathered up their equipment and stored it so that nothing was left out to get dirty or damaged. I watched Edward work, wondering if I could convince him to engage in a down and dirty make out session in his room.
When Rosalie called out the back door to announce dinnertime, I had to hide my disappointment. Our time together was over for the day, and I wasn't entirely sure if I'd get another kiss like the one earlier. Everyone piled back into the house and I hung back, trying to see what Edward would do.
He turned to me with a smile and asked if I wanted to stay for dinner. Rosalie nodded behind him and encouraged me to stay, but before I could say anything, the door opened up and Alice came through it. "Where's my rock star?" she shouted, obviously looking around for Jasper.
I watched Jasper's eyes light up and he walked over to her, swinging her small body up into his arms. She hugged him tightly, kissing him in front of everyone. I shifted uncomfortably and felt Edward's hand rest on the small of my back, which only served to make me feel even more uncomfortable.
He set her down and Alice turned to smile at everyone else, but she froze imperceptibly when she spotted me. My spine stiffened and I felt my heart plummet into my stomach. She was making me feel like an interloper and I suddenly wanted to melt into the floor so nobody would look at me.
"So you gonna stay for dinner, Bella?" Emmett asked in a friendly tone.
I smiled weakly at him and made some excuse about cooking dinner for my father. Luckily, Edward seemed to sense my discomfort, because he told everyone he was going to walk me out. Everyone (except Alice) sounded disappointed that I wasn't going to stay for dinner, but I just wanted to get the hell out of there more than I wanted to appease these nice people I barely knew.
Edward's reassuringly warm hand stayed on my back until we got outside to my truck. I turned to face him, but I felt suddenly shy. I didn't know what was going on with him, and I had no idea how I should act after everything that had happened today. His mood swings were quite frankly confusing the shit out of me.
Not that I was any better, I quickly reminded myself.
His eyes were on mine and I could see the confusion and conflict reflected back at my own. "Thank you for coming today," he said quietly.
"No problem, seriously. I had fun," I told him.
A ghost of a smile drifted over his mouth and he braced his hands on either side of me against the window on the driver's side door. His eyes darkened and he looked like he wanted to kiss me; my breathing picked up and I looked at his lips, hoping he would.
He groaned and dropped his head on his arm, bringing it right next to my shoulder. "I don't know what to fucking do, Bella," he said tensely, but it was mostly muffled by his arm.
Not really knowing what to do or say, I lifted my arm and wrapped it awkwardly around his neck, bringing his head over to my shoulder. He stood there for a moment, his arms still braced against the window as he allowed me to comfort him with my hand in his hair. "I don't know what to tell you, either," I whispered helplessly.
Slowly, his hands clenched into fists and then his arms dropped around my waist. He pulled me to him tightly, lifting his head and looking down at me in the process. "How did everything get so fucked up?" he asked. I assumed it was a rhetorical question, so I didn't bother to answer, because I didn't even know what I would have said anyway.
He leaned down to kiss me, and his hold felt a little bit desperate. I kissed him back, hoping to give him whatever it was that he was looking for in this moment. I wanted to comfort him, to give him some measure of peace and calm. I knew how desperately he needed it.
Time slowed down, bringing with it a moment of clarity that sat uncomfortably in my chest. I wanted him, not just because he was my idol, or because he was hot, but because he was this amazing and fascinating person who challenged me and made me want to be a better person.
He made me want things, things that scared me. I wanted to help him, to heal him, to be his best friend and his girlfriend.
Most of all, I wanted to be inside his head, to know him better than anybody else knew him.
I wanted all of that, more than I could even begin to convey.
His warm lips were resting against mine now, and I realized I'd stopped kissing him. He pulled away and looked down at me, and I couldn't help the tender smile that bullied its way to my face. My hand brushed through his hair once more before I dropped my arm and wondered what all of this meant for me, and for us.
"I guess I'd better go," I said, trying to hide the regret I felt at leaving him at a time like this, but I had to get out of there for my own sanity.
His green eyes turned a little bit disappointed and I cringed inwardly. I couldn't figure this situation out for him, and as much as I wanted to be with him, I knew that I couldn't force the issue or he would run in the other direction.
"Okay," he said quietly. "I'll see you on Thursday, at the radio station, right?"
I nodded and he pulled me into a hug, which set off the butterflies in my stomach. I drew back and smiled reassuringly at him as he opened my door for me. I climbed in and fired up my truck, waving as I drove off.
He was still in my rearview mirror when I turned the corner.
As soon as I got home, I called Leah and told her that I needed to talk to her and Emily. She told me to come over so we could have an impromptu girl night. I readily agreed and grabbed some junk food on my way out the door, eager for some time with my ladies.
When I got there, Jake was grumping around about getting kicked out. Leah was standing there with her hands on her hips, looking exasperated. "I told you; just take Ezra over to my mom's house. She already said she'd take him for the night, and I packed his bag. Stop being such a big baby. You can go find a show to go to with Seth. I'm sure he'll know of a couple."
Jake pulled her to him and whined, "But baby, weren't we going to..." He cupped her ass and pulled her closer, nuzzling her neck.
She giggled like a schoolgirl and swatted him away after he whispered something that I didn't even wanna know about in her ear. "Get lost, and maybe if you're good boy, we can do that tomorrow night," she said with a wink.
I faked a loud gag and made a show of sticking my finger down my throat. "I swear to god, you guys are so fucking disgusting sometimes."
"Oh, don't be mad just 'cuz you can't get any, Virgin McPrude," Leah said. She snorted and slapped Jake's chest as he pinched her butt.
He laid a big smacking kiss on her mouth and said, "Okay, fine. I'll leave you ladies to your pillow fights and lesbian experimentation."
I rolled my eyes and gave him the finger, hoping he'd leave. Leah laughed and I glared at her. "Look who's talking, missy. You've only had sex with one guy in your life, which makes me look like a slut compared to you." I knew she was only fucking with me, mostly because as far as she knew, I wasn't interested in anybody and hadn't dated anyone in a long time. Little did she know that would hopefully be changing soon…
She snickered. "What can I say? Sometimes you just get luck the first time around, you know? And oh boy, did I! Last night, Jake did this thing with his tongue..."
"AH! AH! AHHH! SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW!" I screeched, shoving my fingers in my ears to block her out.
She laughed and kept talking, so I sang over her, hoping she'd get the point. The back door opened and Emily came in, looking like a breath of fresh air.
It must be the glow of the newly engaged or something, because lately she always had that dewy, schmucky look. "Well, look what the cat dragged in!" Leah greeted her.
Emily sniffed disdainfully and set a grocery bag down on the counter. "I brought dinner, but after that crack, maybe I'll just keep it all to myself, whore."
I lunged for the bag and found her homemade sweet potato casserole inside, still warm from the oven. "Hey, now, I didn't say anything. I personally think you look like a goddess walking among us poor, lowly mortals," I said, turning my big puppy dog eyes on her.
She looked at me and laughed. "You're horrible, you know that? I know you only want me for my casserole, you scandalous bitch. I swear you only care about your stomach!"
Leah walked over and got the plates down while I rummaged around for utensils and a knife. Emily served up the food and I grabbed a pop from the fridge, making myself at home on the couch. Leah sat next to me and Emily snagged Jake's easy chair in the corner. (Jake once told me, "Every dad has to have an easy chair to lounge around in while he watches sports and scratches his balls, Bells. It's, like, tradition or something.")
The idea of Jake lounging in the chair scratching his balls and watching sports never failed to make me laugh, but right now, I was too nervous about explaining the situation to my girls.
After we finished dinner, I set my plate down and sat on my hands. "Um, so, I was gonna say..." I began, trailing off as I considered how to go about this.
Emily looked over at me curiously and Leah scooted closer so her arm was around my shoulders. "What's up, hon?"
I sighed. "You know the guy in my poli sci class?" I asked. They nodded. "Okay, well, apparently Edward 'Captain Christian' Cullen and Tony Masen are the same person," I said.
They both looked incredibly confused. "What do you mean?" Leah finally asked.
I chewed my lip and struggled to explain. "Well, I can't really go into it, but Edward is Tony. Tony is Edward. He kind of had a little identity crisis, but I think he's just going to be like Tony now, or whatever. I don't know, really. He's pretty confused."
"So, what, he like thumps his Bible during the week and then rocks out on the weekend?" she asked.
I flinched. It sounded so critical and harsh coming from her. "It's not like that," I protested.
Emily, who has been quiet until now, spoke up. "Is that why he sang that song about you a couple months ago?" she asked.
I nodded. "Yeah, we were fighting a lot in class and I wasn't very nice to him. I kind of deserved it, you know?"
Leah sat up and her eyes flamed. "So you've known about this, and you're only now telling us?"
I cringed. "He asked me not to tell anybody, but when we were in D.C. he said I could tell you guys."
Emily set her plate down and leaned forward. "I must be missing something. If you guys weren't friends back then, why did you feel the need to protect him?"
I met her eyes and felt like she could see right through me. "I don't know, really. Tony Masen was this huge idol for me, and once I met him, it was such a disappointment for me at first. But now..."
"'But now' what?" Leah snapped. She hated it when people kept secrets from her.
"But now, we're friends and I'm glad that I waited until he was ready for me to tell people about it. He's really great," I replied.
Emily paused. "So he's a conservative Christian underneath the tattoos and the veganism? That's just nuts!"
I nodded. "But I don't know what's going to happen, because he's going through some stuff and I'm not sure what that'll mean for him."
Leah stood up and took the plates into the kitchen. I knew she needed a moment, so I didn't follow her. When she came back in, she was a lot calmer. "So you guys are friends now?" she asked.
I nodded and looked down at my lap, waiting for them to see right through me.
Emily was the first to catch on. "You like him, don't you?" she asked softly.
Leah snorted. "Come on, Bella's the most anti-conservative, anti-religious person I know. How could she like someone that she dubbed 'Captain Christian'?"
I squirmed uncomfortably. "Holy shit! You do like him, don't you?" Leah shouted incredulously.
I looked up at her and sighed. "He's not that bad, honestly. He has his moments, but the rest of the time, he's awesome. We get along really well and I just think if we gave it a chance, maybe it could work."
Leah patted me with a pitying look on her face. "You think that now, but wait until you guys start to fight over ridiculous shit."
"Like what?" I asked defensively.
She rolled her eyes. "Have you forgotten that Republican Christians don't want gay people to get married? Or that they think women should just be vessels for an endless supply of babies? None of us should have the right to health care, either. Jesus, Bella, I really don't see how you could fall for someone who has such different morals than you do!"
I stood up and felt my heart pounding in my chest. I rarely argued with Leah, but this was one of those times. "What is so wrong with someone thinking differently than us? Aren't we always bitching and moaning because people expect us to think and act like they do?"
Leah's eyes narrowed. "That's not what I'm saying, and you know it!"
Emily shook her head. "Come on, you guys..."
I held up my hand toward her. "No, this is something that needs to be said. We always talk about how different we are, being vegan and being misunderstood by everyone else. We want everyone to be vegan like us, but we're not ready or willing to embrace the differences of others? How fucking hypocritical is that?"
Leah leaned back against the couch in a show of nonchalance. "It's different, Bella. He's one of them, one of those people who wants to brainwash everyone to think like they do. What happens if you go out with him, fall in love with him, and he tells you he can't be with you unless you convert to Christianity? What are you going to do then?"
I stiffened and walked away toward the window so I could look out over the quiet street. "I can't think about all of those what-ifs, Leah. All I can think about is how I feel when I'm with him, and how much it makes me wonder if maybe we're only perpetuating the cycle of hypocrisy."
Leah was quiet, but Emily spoke up. "I think you might be right, Bella. Maybe we're so used to defending ourselves against others who don't like us because we're different, that we've begun to dislike people who are different from us. I don't really know Edward, but if you see something in him worth caring about, then I'm sure that he isn't as bad as we might think."
I turned around to look at her wide brown eyes, full of caring and sympathy. I felt the tears well up in my eyes. Leah sat on the couch, her arms crossed as her face went blank. "Leah?" I begged, hoping for her to say something.
She turned toward me and her indifference seemed to melt. "I don't know, Bella. I don't really know him. I guess if you like him, we can try to put our differences aside and see if we can't find some common ground."
I felt my shoulders relax. "Well, it's not like he's going to come in here demanding we all eat some steak from a cow he slaughtered himself, you know."
She laughed and Emily smiled. "No, he'd just come in with a Bible and try to baptize us all," she quipped.
I sniffled and wiped my eyes as I snickered. "I hope you guys will give him a chance," I said quietly.
"We will," Emily assured me. Leah nodded and I walked back over to sit down next to her on the couch. She pulled me into a hug and I relaxed, hoping that all of this would work out somehow.
"...but if he comes at me with a cross, all bets are off," Leah mumbled.
I picked up the small pillow next to me and hit her on the head with it.
A/N: Ahh, so I guess they had that pillow fight Jake was hoping for, after all;)
So how was it? I hope you guys liked it after having to wait so patiently for it! I had originally planned for the radio show to be in this chapter, but I felt like Bella's scene with the girls was more important than that for this chapter.
I know I was a failure at giving everyone a preview for this chapter (most of you got one, but a lot of you didn't thanks to my epic shit storm of a life, so I'm sorry), but I'll try really hard to give everyone a preview for this chapter.
Lemme know what you thought!