He awoke that morning to the sound of an owl crashing into his bedroom window He opened the letter, which contained a summons to the new ARDEC office in Diagon Alley. The missive, signed at the bottom in childish handwriting by Percy Weasley, the new Director of ARDEC, informed him that his meeting was in two hours.

Cursing loudly, he crumpled the parchment and thrown it as hard as he could across the room. It sailed through the doorway of his bedroom and lay despondently in the hallway. Sleepily, he stumbled into the bathroom and stuck his head under the cold stream of the shower. He turned the water from cold to warm, removed his pajama bottoms, and entered the now-steamy shower.

A few minutes later, as he rinsed the last of the shampoo from his hair, he heard the bathroom door squeak open.

"Don't you ever knock?"

"Draco, I changed your diapers as a child. There's nothing in here I haven't seen before."

"Oh really? You've watched me wank before? You're a fucking pervert, Severus."

Draco almost heard his roommate's eyes roll.

"And what if I have, Draco?"

Definitely not the answer Draco expected.

Severus had chuckled when a bar of soap flew over the shower bar, nearly missing his head.

"Did you want something, Severus? Or did you come in just to ogle me?"

"I found your summons in the hallway."

There was a long pause before Draco responded. "And?"

Another pause. "And I was wondering if you would like me to escort you to Diagon Alley."

Draco was infuriated. He thrust open the shower curtain, oblivious to his nudity.

"Yes, Severus, why don't you go with me?" He sneered. "Better yet, you can hold my hand while we cross the street. I'm sure when I show up there with the pariah of the Order, they will immediately forgive me of my 'unfortunate parentage' and send us home!"

At the slightly deflated look on Severus' face, Draco had tried to calm down.

"Look, I understand that you feel like you have to take care of me, but honestly, Severus, you killed Dumbledore for me, you took me in when my father wanted nothing to do with me—I think you've done enough, so stop trying to fight my battles!"

He failed to calm down.

A breeze hit his wet, naked form, and Draco suddenly realized his awkward situation.

Severus smirked. "Oh, my, Draco, you certainly do blush all over. Just like your father…" Severus threw in one last leer before leaving the bathroom. "Breakfast is on the table; make sure you eat before you get to Diagon Alley."

Draco grinned. No, Severus wasn't gay, but between all those year spent with only Dumbledore as a comrade and attending the insipid parties the scion of the Malfoy family had thrown, it was no surprise that Severus' idea of appropriate jokes between men was slightly… skewed.

Draco made it downstairs minutes before he was required to be at the Ministry. What Severus believed to constitute breakfast was laid out on the table—burnt toast and coffee the consistency of motor oil. He had grabbed a piece of toast, and hurrying to the fireplace, tossed in some Floo powder and left the house.

He looked around the small office, trying desperately not to let disdain register on his face. Severus had repeatedly told him to just "play along." The sooner they thought him compliant with their policies, the quicker they'd let him get back to his life.

And now he sat in an overly decorated office, littered with tchotchkes, sitting directly across from iher/i. As if it wasn't bad enough that he had to be with her, did the room have to be oppressively… banal?

"So I suppose you know why you're here, Mr. Malfoy?"

Knowing he'd probably only have one shot at getting his trademark sneer in before he would have to "play nice," he affixed the smirk on his face. "Still spouting off phrases you read in books, Granger? Let me guess, the first page of the 'ARDEC Interrogation Manual'?"

Her face crumpled infinitesimally before she schooled her features into a blank mask. Draco filed the fact that he could still get under her skin in the back of his mind for future use.

"Mr. Malfoy, you clearly have no wish to be here, nor do I have any wish to be your counselor. However, ARDEC, in their infinite wisdom, believes that I am the most… appropriate staff member to deal with your particular case, given our similarities in age, our history together at Hogwarts, and…" she swallowed, "my blood status."

"So, what you're saying, Granger, is that if I can grow to be friends with you, that will prove to the Ministry that I love all Mud… ggleborns?" Draco's face turned a bit green at this thought.

Hermione snickered. "Something like that. Look, Malfoy, I know that you really never had a decent shot of hearing anything positive about Muggles, given your father's… proclivities. What I'd like to do, rather than belabor the point through ultimately useless therapy sessions, is just immerse you in the Muggle world for a while—movie theatres, takeaway, electricity."

She stopped explaining when she saw the look on his face. "What is it, Malfoy?"

"What if I told you I'd been doing that for a year or so…"

"Pardon me?"

"What if I told you I'd been living in Muggle Manchester for a year and know how to order takeaway, use the Internet, and even enjoyed watching Fight Club in theatre last week? Did you notice how much Marla looks like Aunt Bella used to…"

"What are you talking about, Malfoy? Manchester?" Hermione's voice had taken on that irritatingly shrill, swotty tone she usually reserved for Harry and Ron when they chose to talk about Quidditch over working on their Charms homework.

"Do you not read the papers, Granger? Didn't you hear that my father disowned me when he found out I tried to make reparations with St. Potter?"

She looked confused.

"You do know I have been conversing with Potter for months now, don't you?"

She began fidgeting uncomfortably.

"Cripes, Granger, where have you been?"

"We-ll, let's just say that when Ronald and I parted ways, I immersed myself in preparation for this job and haven't exactly kept in touch with Harry… or Ginny for that matter…"

"Are you telling me you're no longer the Golden Trio's third wheel?"

Hermione glared. "That's beside the point. Where have you been living, Malfoy, and why do you even care about learning about Muggle things?"

"Why, Spinner's End, of course. My godfather insisted I learn to blend in with the neighbors."

Hermione looked less-than-pleased by the rakish grin that now graced Malfoy's face.

AN: This story was written for the help_chile challenge on LJ. It was written for kerravonsen for her winning prompt: "I'd like something Severus/Hermione, with a side order of Draco redemption, if possible. It would probably have to be AU for all of that to work. I'd prefer it to be something where neither Severus nor Hermione had a secret crush for the other all along: I like to see the relationship develop from nothing."

Thanks to clairvoyant12 for the wonderful beta work and moral support!