The Search for Something More

Chapter 3 - What is and What Should Never Be

Thank you all for the reviews! I'm really glad you guys are enjoying the story, they make my day especially after the rough past few days I've had. Sorry it took me so long to update, I went away for the weekend. But my car got keyed and then I got rear ended today, so yeah not happy. I was actually glad some of you guys called Nathan a jerk and an ass, because he's not perfect and to write characters as perfect people will be no fun. But you'll see a little more insight into Nathan in this chapter. Also, I'd like to clarify that if you read chapter 1, Miranda is the manager for this "girl" who has yet to be mentioned.

Again, no word on season 8 so please keep showing your love to the show! Contact the CW, mail letters, post cards, basketballs, anything. Let yourself be heard.

Enjoy and please review!!

. . . . .

"There you are!" Clay walked into the guest room where Nathan was staying. "Where the hell have you been?"

"Out." Nathan mumbled as he put his things away.

Clay sighed, not sure how much longer he can take this. "Nathan, where are you going?"

"…"

"Dammit Nathan!" Clay went over and slammed Nathan's suitcase closed. "Look, I'd like to think we're friends, I guess I was wrong!" Clay said sarcastically, "but I'm still your agent Nathan so you need to give me some answers." Clay was more than annoyed and took a step back. "I already got some calls from the press about the incident at the restaurant. Luckily, I was able to hold them off but all we need is for one curious journalist to start digging and that's it for us so I need to know Nathan, but who is she?"

"She's my old girlfriend okay." Nathan opened his suit case back up again and started to put the rest of his things inside. "We dated in high school… it was pretty serious until I left for Maryland."

"And now she's 3 months pregnant?!"

"Yes." Nathan reached into the pockets of one of his suit cases and pulled out the sonograms.

"You saw her?" Clay flipped through the photos.

Nathan nodded. "I had the office call up every hotel in San Francisco, I caught her just before she left." Nathan handed the photos to him.

"But how?"

"You were right, after the Memphis game we both got pretty wasted.."

"She was at the party?" Clay asked.

"No." Nathan shook his head. "I left and hired a driver to take me to Tree Hill.. and yeah.." Nathan's voice trailed off, "when I came back the next morning, you were so hung over, no one knew I was gone."

"Fuck.." Clay muttered, putting the photos down. All the pieces were coming together, no wonder he couldn't get a hold of Nathan that morning. "So, where are you going?"

"I'm going home." Nathan replied. "Not Seattle, but home.. I'm going to Tree Hill."

"To be with her?"

"To be with my unborn child." Nathan added, not denying what Clay just mentioned.

"Fine.. but I'm going with you." Clay stated.

Nathan was about to protest but knew it would be no use. And being back home, he was going to need someone on his side.

"Okay." Nathan nodded his head and Clay was about to head out to get his own things.

"Sorry but the way." Nathan called out and Clay turned around, needing to pack himself. "For not telling you what happened."

"Nathan, you know I got your back right?" Clay said softly.

Nathan nodded.

"I know you put up these walls but I can't help you if you keep shutting me out."

Nathan nodded. "You're right.. again .. I'm . I'm sorry."

Clay nodded back and stared at the ground for a second. The gears in his mind started turning. "But Miranda called me today."

"Does that girl ever stop working?" Nathan continued to gather his things.

"She's just doing her job." Clay replied. "But they're leaving Phoenix, she wanted to know about the charity event at Atlanta."

"Shit." Nathan muttered, completely forgetting about it. "That's coming up right?"

"Yeah, don't worry about it, Atlanta isn't too far from North Carolina, I'll work on something to make it work."

"Did you tell her about Haley?"

"Oh, hell no!" Clay chuckled. "We got a long plane ride ahead of us and we're going to need to figure some things out."

"Yeah.." Nathan sighed. "Sounds fun." He mumbled.

. . . . .

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we'll preparing our descent into the New Brunswick National Airport shortly, please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts." The pilot announced, waking Haley from her sleep.

She rubbed her eyes and looked around and found Lucas staring out the window. Things were awkward between them ever since they left San Francisco several hours ago. After Haley confirmed everything to Lucas, they left the hotel, despite Nathan's protests and headed straight to the airport. Barely a word was spoken between them and Haley was glad to have fallen asleep. She couldn't deal with the tension any longer.

"We're almost home." Lucas muttered, his eyes still transfixed to the window.

"Luke, again I'm sorry." Haley stated. "I wanted to tell you."

"Why didn't you?" Lucas now faced her. He'd spent the past few hours wondering how everything happened.

"Cuz I was scared. I mean, I could hardly believe it too. It was bad enough admitting it to myself let alone to other people, including you."

"You still should've come to me."

"I know and I'm sorry but I couldn't tell you or anyone else until after I told Nathan. Please understand Luke, I know how you feel about him but he's still this child's father."

"I just don't understand how this even happened in the first place." Lucas shook his head.

"We had open mic night at Tric, I was a little tipsy and I came home and there he was .. out of the blue. I slammed the door in his face but he still found his way inside and we talked well argued.. and then it.. escalated." Haley said carefully.

Lucas shook his head, not wanting to know the gory details. "I .. I just can't believe this.. after everything he's done.. how could you?" Lucas asked.

"Lucas I know okay. Everything you're thinking right now, don't you think I didn't think that too?" Haley said frustrated. "After all these years, I thought I was stronger than this and then he just comes back into my life and .. I let him. I let him okay, I know it was weak of me and I made a mistake Luke but what's done is done, I cant'.. I can't change that."

"But you're having his kid for crying out loud. So now the three of you are going to ride out into the sunset?"

"God Luke no. Just because I'm having his child doesn't mean that we're getting back together."

"Really? Because he shows up after all this time and you automatically.." Lucas put his fist against his mouth, afraid he was going to say something he was going to regret. Haley's eyes narrowed at him too, warning him that she wasn't beyond slapping her best friend.

"Like I said Luke, it was a mistake, if I could take it back I would but none of that matters now because in six months, you're going to be an uncle and I'm going to be a mom and I still don't know how I'm going to do this .. especially with everything going on .. I .." Haley's voice cracked.

Lucas started to feel guilty. In his anger he forgot that there was an innocent little child in all this, his nephew or niece. Even if Nathan wasn't the father, Lucas would be that baby's uncle no matter what. He pulled his arm around Haley and pulled her close to him while she quietly sobbed against his chest. "Hales, I'm sorry for making you so upset. I didn't stop to think how all of this has been affecting you but it's going to be okay Hales. We'll get through this.. together."

Wiping her eyes. "Thanks Luke, I really needed that. You're too good to me you know that."

"Well as this kid's favorite uncle, I guess I have no choice." He joked.

Haley gave him a small smile. "You will be this kid's favorite uncle."

"But what about Nathan, Haley? What're you going to do?"

"I know." She said softly. "But he's the father, he has every right to be there for his child."

"I'm worried for you."

"I know you are Luke. I let Nathan get the best of me but not anymore. He's no longer my kryptonite." Haley stated.

Lucas was about to say something but decided against it. The look in his brother's eyes, there was no doubt what he saw. He wondered if Haley ever thought that Nathan's kryptonite was her.

. . . .

"What's this?" Nathan took the letter and looked at it. He was confused and looked back at his dad.

"Did you read it?" Dan asked.

"University of Maryland wants me, so what? I'm already going to Duke."

"No, you're not."

Nathan looked at his dad as if he were crazy. Duke had been the plan from the start. Even with Dan's consistent badgering and meddling, he thought that this would at least make Dan happy. All Dan cared for was Nathan's basketball career and he was doing exactly what they.. well what Dan had planned since he was a little kid.

"Look Nathan, I didn't want to be the bearer of bad news but Duke isn't happening."

"What do you mean?"

"I got a letter from Duke. Yes, you're still accepted but not on their basketball roster." Dan handed another letter to Nathan.

"I didn't get a basketball scholarship." Nathan mumbled, he was dumfounded. How the hell did this happen?"

"Their roster's locked. You'd be lucky to even get a spot next semester even if you try out." Dan added.

"But.. but I thought this was a done deal." Nathan was shaking his head, trying to make sense of it all. "I.. I carried the team.. . we went to States.. I was MVP!" Nathan couldn't believe this.

"You already know they picked up Nino Brown, Devon Williams." Dan replied and Nathan nodded.

"They just picked up Damien West from Oak Lake." Dan added.

"Damien West?! Are you kidding me!?" Nathan threw his hands up.

"I wish I was." Dan sighed and shook his head.

"Dad, you got to do something.. you have to get me in!" Nathan pleaded.

"I called every contact I had, called in old favors.. I was one step away from bribery son.. I'm.. I'm sorry." Dan turned away.

"But Duke was the plan."

"The plan was for you to play college ball in a Division I school.. the plan's still there son."

"But Duke."

"Duke's a lost cause Nathan. But we don't have time to dwell on it. If we wait, we lose our chances of still making you viable." Dan pointed out. "U-Conn, Syracuse and Maryland all accepted you but Maryland has the most potential. Their freshmen this year has been solid and you can add to that next season. They also offered you the best deal, a full ride and 6th man."

"But it's not Duke."

"I know, but there's still Division I school and more importantly, they still want you."

"But.. I.." Nathan shook his head as his whole world was unraveling.

"Oh I get it." Dan stated and took a step back. "It's about her isn't?"

"What're you talking about?"

"Hannah, that's who!"

Nathan gritted his teeth. Dan knew damn well what her name was. "It's Haley."

"Let me guess.. Haley." Dan emphasized, "was going to follow you to Duke, huh?"

Nathan stayed quiet.

"I can't believe this!" Dan rolled his eyes. "I can't believe you're willing to throw away your whole future on some girl."

"She's not just some girl, Dad! She's THE girl."

"How would you know Nathan? You're only 18 for crying out loud, what do you know?"

"I know that I love her dad and where I go to school affects both of us."

"No, where you got to school affects YOU!" Dan pointed to him. "Don't you get it son, I know, okay."

"You don't know anything."

"Does Karen ring a bell? Your mother!" Dan pointed out. "Yes, I'll be the first to admit it, I've been hard on you but it was only to make sure you wouldn't repeat my mistakes."

"The last time I checked, Haley's not pregnant." Nathan pointed out.

"Not yet, anyways." Dan fired back but took a deep breath to calm down. If he wanted to get through to his son, he needed to be calm. "Look Nathan, I understand how it was to be in high school and in love and don't you think I didn't go through the same thing with Karen when we were in high school but we both knew it was time to grow up and we both went our separate ways. I admit that when Karen got pregnant I could've handled things differently but I didn't know that when I met your mother. The next thing I knew I'd fallen head over heals for Deb and we rushed things and then she was pregnant and then everything spiraled out of control. 18 years later, you and your mother thought we can do it all too, have our cake and eat it too but it doesn't work out that way. Your mother and I were forced into a situation and years later, it only left us in a bitter divorce."

"Situation, you mean me?" Nathan narrowed his eyes.

"Son, you know your mother and I love but you don't understand how hard it was, the sacrifices we made to raise you. And even if we didn't have you and I didn't have my injury, you'd still be out on the road, away games, practices, study sessions, do you honestly think you'll have time for Haley?"

"But.."

"No, Nathan.. think about it. I know I didn't raise a fool. You go to Duke and then what? There's no basketball, there's no future for you there. But you go to Maryland, you'll get your minutes, you'll get national coverage."

Nathan looked down, not saying a word.

"Let me ask you something, if you weren't planning to go to Duke, would Haley have gone there?"

Nathan still remained silent.

"I thought so." Dan shook his head. "Think about Haley, son. I'm pretty sure the school valedictorian can go to any school she wanted to. Nathan, this is the future here. Do the right thing.. for both of you." Dan picked up the letter from Maryland and handed it back to Nathan.

Nathan stared at the acceptance letter. One minute he had it all, Duke, Haley and now, now he felt like he lost both. As much as he hated to admit it, Dan was right. The only reason Haley was going to Duke was because of him. He knew damn well where her dream school was. He applied to Stanford but unfortunately their school wasn't as big on basketball and he didn't get in. Haley had told him that it didn't matter where she went to school, as long as they were together. It didn't sit right with him that she was giving up Stanford for him. She had already done so much for him. But she reminded him that Duke was also known for other things other than basketball. They had an excellent academic program, which helped made Nathan feel better with her decision to follow him to Duke.

But now, now everything was different. He knew she didn't apply to Maryland and at this point, would he even ask her to. Would they even accept her when she got full rides to all the colleges she applied to. In all this, she's the one that sacrificed for him and in the end, it was all for nothing. Academically, he knew Maryland wasn't as great of a school as Duke or Stanford. Haley is a smart girl, the smartest person he ever knew and it wasn't fair for her to lower her standards for him. She deserved to be great and knew that being together would only hold her back. He loved her, God he loved her but he couldn't be selfish, he couldn't have it all.

He stared at the acceptance letter long and hard. In the end, there was only one thing he could do.. let her go.

. . . .

The plane shook slightly as it touched the ground, stirring Nathan from his thoughts. He remembered how he let her go, the disappointment in her face when he told her that he wasn't going to Duke and that she should go to Stanford. He never saw her so hurt and angry. Yet, he remained strong because he thought that was what she needed. She couldn't follow him, she needed to live her life. At the time he thought he was doing the right thing, she ended up going to her dream school after all. But now, he wasn't so sure.

It had been five long years of bitterness, anger and regret. He tried to stay away but he couldn't. Getting her pregnant could attest to that. He still wasn't exactly sure what he was going to do in Tree Hill but he meant what he told Haley. He wanted to be a part of their child's life and if it meant being back in Haley's life then so be it. He didn't ask for any of this, never planned but here it was. He walked away three months ago after sleeping with her and what good that did that do to him. It was a hard lesson learned but Nathan wasn't going to walk away. Not again.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we just touched down at New Brunswick National Airport, we will be taxing for the next several minutes. Please wait until the plane has come to a complete stop and the pilot has disengaged the seatbelts sign before getting up from your seats. Remember to be careful when opening the over head compartment as items may have shifted during flight. The use of personal cell phones and pagers are not permitted. Thank you for flying with us and hope you see you again on your next trip." The stewardess announced.

Immediately, Clay pulled out his cell phone and turned his blackberry back on. Nathan chuckled next to him as Clay started to scroll through the various e-mails and texts he missed out on.

Nathan sat up and stretched his neck. He couldn't get a direct flight to Tree Hill so they had to stop over in Cleveland first. To make matters worse, every flight was booked and he could only score coach seats. It was already late and Nathan couldn't wait to hit the bed. Lord only knows these uncomfortable seats couldn't be good for his back.

"You okay?" Clay asked, his eyes never leaving his phone. "I know these seats aren't good for your back, shoot they're not good for anyone's back."

"Yeah, but I'm okay. We just need to get to the hotel so I can stretch, take a hot shower and sleep." Nathan was drained both physically and emotionally.

"So what's the plan huh?"

"Plan?"

"To win Haley's heart back."

"What're you talking about?"

"Nathan, why else are we here?"

"She's carrying my child, dumbass."

"Yeah, but she's still 6 months from giving birth." Clay sat up and put his phone away. "Look man, you said you and her were pretty serious, I didn't even think that you were even capable of a long term relationship."

"It's in the past Clay.. besides it doesn't matter." Nathan turned his head. "She doesn't want me anyway." Nathan mumbled.

"Yeah.. but do you still want her?"

Nathan never looked back nor answered the question. It didn't matter, Clay was sure he already knew the answer. He'd never seen Nathan like this and pregnant or not, he knew this girl meant more than just a random hook up with his ex. It was all starting to make sense, the mask that Nathan Scott hides behind, the walls he hides behind. Clay knew all too well, it takes one to know one after all.

. . . . .

"Hello?"

"Hey, Mr. Scott. It's me."

"I've been expecting your call, Renee. Where are you?"

"Still in San Francisco."

"And Nathan?"

"I followed him to the airport, I was able to get info from the teller that he booked a flight to Tree Hill."

Dan smiled. "Okay, good."

"Is there anything else you need from me Mr. Scott?"

"Not at the moment. I'll be in touch, Renee." Dan put his phone away and leaned back against his chair in his study. He looked over to one of the shelves and stared at a picture of Nathan from his first year at Maryland which was right next to one of him when he played for the Ravens. He cracked his knuckles and smiled, both his sons were finally back home.

. . . .

Dan was in his study over looking some of the paper work from the University of Maryland. Dan was very pleased that Nathan made the right choice and accepted Maryland's offer. Dan looked things over to make sure Nathan was covered, his tuition, housing, meals. He started to put the papers away, everything looked to be in order.

His cell phone started ringing and he picked it up.

"Hello."

"Dan Scott, it's Donald West, Damien's father."

"Oh yes, Donald, good to hear from you again."

"Look, I just can't thank you enough for your help getting my boy into Duke."

"It was no problem and you're very welcome." Dan smiled.

"I still can't believe that your boy Nathan would pass up such a great opportunity.. I mean Duke is a great school."

"Yeah, Duke is great but it wasn't for him." Dan replied as he thought about how he was finally able to get Nathan away from Haley once and for all. "But Donald, that was a very personal choice for my son and I hope you understand that I only ask for your complete discretion about this."

"Oh no worries from me. Damien's so happy.. I wouldn't want to ruin this for him but don't worry I won't tell a soul. Thanks again Dan."

"No, thank you." Dan smiled as he sat back and cracked his knuckles, looking at a picture of Nathan in his Raven's jersey.

To Be Continued . . .