The Search for Something More
Chapter 7 – All These Things That I've Done
Thank you all for the reviews, I'm glad you are enjoying the story but did see a drop of readership. I hope I haven't lost anyone! I really like how this chapter ended up and I hope you will like it too. I do what to make a comment that a few chapters back Lucas told Nathan that he didn't know what Haley has been through over the past few years and this chapter will she some light into that. I'd like to say more but I don't want to give anything away. Again I am grateful for the feedback and hope you guys keep them coming.
. . . . .
"Coming!" Clay put on a shirt and headed towards the door of his suite. Opening it up, he found a man about the same height as he with dark hair wearing a suit. He looked like he seen him before but couldn't remember who he was.
"Can I help you?" Clay asked curiously.
"Yes." He walked right by Clay and into the room. "I'm looking for my son." Dan walked further inside.
"And you must be Dan Scott." Clay stretched out his hand.
"And you're the idiot who got my son into the NBA when he wasn't ready." Dan bit back, not bothering to shake his hand. "I know who you are." Dan looked around the room and found no trace of Nathan there.
"Nice to meet you too." Clay mumbled.
"Where's my son?" Dan asked.
"Umm.. in case you haven't heard, you're son is in Atlanta for a charity event." Clay replied.
"That was last night and I know Nathan arrived early this morning."
"I'm his agent, I assure you that he's.."
"You can stop covering for him. I know he's in town."
"Really?" Clay knew that Nathan had daddy issues, now he understood why. This guy was an ass and no way was Clay was telling Dan where Nathan was.
"Look kid, I'm the mayor of this town and let's just say.. I have eyes and ears everywhere."
"Well, I'm sorry but I can't help you. In fact, if you know where Nathan is, please tell him to call me cuz I'm looking for him too."
"Fine, you don't want to tell me." Dan passed by Clay and out the door. "It's a small town, I'll find him with or with out your help."
Clay closed the door behind him and sighed. Clay was telling the truth about one thing, he actually didn't know where Nathan took off too but he had a pretty guess as to where he was.
Just then his phone started vibrating and he looked at the caller id and was about to let the call go to voice mail but she'd been calling all morning long. He knew he couldn't avoid her forever.
"Hey, good morning!" Clay tried to sound upbeat and chipper.
"Don't good morning me." Miranda bit back in her British accent, something Clay found rather annoying but sexy nevertheless.
"Where the hell is Nathan?"
"Isn't he with you and Alex?" Clay said innocently.
"Don't play dumb with me. Nathan left the party early and we haven't seen him since. We were supposed to do brunch with producers who are interested in Alex."
"I don't recall brunch being on the schedule." Clay replied.
"It was a last minute meeting, it would've been nice for Nathan to be there for Alex."
"Miranda, I'm sorry but you know how busy my client is and Nathan is the worst at keeping a schedule."
"I don't care for your excuses, bottom line is that we had a deal. Alex has been pulling her weight while Nathan has been MIA."
"Well we invited you to join us in San Francisco a few days ago but you opted for a Chris Keller concert instead.. how was that by the way?" Clay asked.
"Don't try to turn the tables on me Clay. I won't let my client keep propping your's while Nathan does nothing. Now, this upcoming movie premiere back in Seattle is important."
"Look, Nathan's going to show up, don't worry."
"He better." Miranda warned and then hung up on him. Clay sighed to himself, what a morning.
. . . . .
Haley stepped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around herself. She took another towel and started to dry her hair. A warm shower was exactly what she needed. She couldn't believe Nathan was able to pull the rug from underneath her yet again. First he has a girlfriend, which technically she should've known about if she hadn't been trying to purge herself of Nathan ever since he showed up out of the blue and knocked her up. And now, she finds out that it was all an act.
She couldn't believe he would stoop so low just to promote his basketball career. But then again, why was she surprised. It was clear that from the moment he broke her heart that he wasn't the guy she thought he was. It was always basketball for him. She first tutored him in high school because he needed to keep his grades up to stay on the team. Then she joined the Raven's cheerleading squad to be with him during games and practices, though technically she also did it because Brooke had begged her to do it. But what was worse was that she agreed to follow him to Duke so that way he can have his basketball career but for what, for nothing. He ended up not going to Duke and enrolling in Maryland with not so much as a discussion with her. Basketball was first and everything would always be second.
Opening her bathroom door, she continued to dry her hair when she suddenly shrieked.
"NATHAN!" She exclaimed, making sure the towel was firmly secured to her body.
There, Nathan stood on the tree branch outside her bedroom window. Nathan smirked from his spot as he allowed himself to take in the view of her dripping wet with only a towel on. Noticing her angry face, he quickly straightened up.
"Why is this lock?" Nathan tried to open the window.
"To keep perverts like you out!" Haley walked towards the window.
"Haley.. would you just open up and listen to me." After she shoved him out of the house earlier, he tried calling her and ringing the door bell but she ignored him. The window was his last resort.
"I have nothing to say to you!" Haley bit back and closed the blinds. He continued to call out her name but the next thing he knew, he heard the radio on full blast, drowning out his cries.
Sensing defeat, he climbed his way down the tree. The last thing he needed was for someone to see him and call the cops on him. Nathan once again felt like everything was out of control. All he's been able to do lately was mess things up. It seems like everything he does is the wrong move. It was already so hard to be back home. Everywhere he went brought up a memory, the past was alive and his mistakes evident. He broke her heart, he knew it and just thinking about her upset and crying over him was enough to make him sick. But now she looked at him, not with anger in her eyes but disappointment. He'd never seen that look and he honestly didn't blame her. It felt like a punch in the gut.
He made his way back to the front porch and took a seat on the steps. Haley had a doctor's appointment today and he'll be damn if he'll miss out on that. When it comes to his child, their child, he didn't want to miss a thing. Haley had to come out of the house sooner or later and when she did, he would be here ready for her.
. . . . . .
"Lucas!" Lydia James opened the door and the two shared a quick hug.
"Thank you so much for coming here so soon."
"It's no problem, Mrs. James."
"She's in her room, she won't come out, she won't eat. I know she's taking it bad but.." Lydia took a deep breath and shook her head. "She's had the summer to take everything in but she's leaving for Stanford soon and I .."
"You don't have to explain Mrs. J.. You have enough to deal with, I'll see what I can do about Hales." Lucas gave her a sympathetic smile and headed up the stairs and towards Haley's room.
He arrived at Haley's door and gently knocked on her door. He knocked a few times but there was no response. Lucas decided to just go in and slowly turned the knob. He found her sitting Indian style on her bed, various pictures scattered across the bed.
"Hey buddy.." Lucas slowly walked in.
Haley glanced up and then quickly looked back down on the various photos in front of her.
"What you up to?" Lucas asked as he took a seat on the edge of the bed.
"Just remembering happier times." Haley sighed.
Lucas looked down and saw various pictures. Some were of them when they were younger and he smiled at the memories being conjured. There were also pictures of Haley with her parents and siblings as well as other family members. He picked up a group picture from high school of Haley, Lucas, Brooke, Peyton and Nathan, his arm firmly around Haley's shoulders. Those were definitely more simple and happy times.
"I remember this picture.. start of senior year." Lucas commented.
"It seems so long ago doesn't it? Since we were in high school." Haley commented as she glanced over at the photo Lucas was looking at.
"Not that long." He put the photo down.
Haley picked up a stack of photos and started to flip through them. Some were pictures of her with her sisters when she was younger, then one of her parents taken from father's day a few years ago, and the last one was of her and Nathan, he in his basketball uniform, her in her cheerleaders.
"How are you holding up?" Lucas asked once more.
She put the photos down, water in her eyes. She turned to Lucas, "Not so good."
Immediately, he took her in his arms as she sobbed in his chest.
"I.. I.. I just miss him so much." She cried out.
"I know you do." Lucas rubbed her back.
"He's never coming back.. is he?" She tried to stifle her sobs.
"I'm afraid not."
"He's gone!" She choked out and Lucas held her tighter.
"I wish.. I wish there was something I can do for you." Lucas replied.
"You've already done so much Luke."
"Still, I don't like to see you like this. I'm serious Hales, anything you want. I'll even let you beat me in miniature golf."
Haley sat up and looked at him. "Let me?" She teased and Lucas was happy to see her joking around again.
"I have you know, I kicked your butt plenty of times on my own." She replied back but just as quickly her facial expression changed.
"What is it Hales?"
"There.. there is something you can do."
"Anything." He quickly replied.
"Take me.. take me to see him." Haley's tear filled eyes looked into Lucas'. There was no way he could say no.
"I'll drive." Lucas answered.
. . . . . .
Haley opened her front door and found Nathan there. She wasn't surprised. She expected as much. Still, she ignored him as she walked down the stairs.
"Haley, would you wait?" He was annoyed as he got up and followed her to her car.
"What're you still doing here Nathan?"
"You said you had a doctor's appointment."
"And?"
"And I'd like to be there, please Haley. I know you must hate me but please, let me at least see my kid.. our kid."
Haley paused before answering. "If you want to go then, I won't stop you." She said opening the door to her car.
"I can drive." Nathan offered.
"I'm not riding in a car with you." Haley replied stepping inside. "I have other things I need to do today, you can follow." Haley started her engine up and started to back out from the driveway.
Nathan shook his head as he ran into his car. Luckily, he was able to catch up to Haley and followed her to the hospital. He thought they were going to Tree Hill General but ended up two towns over to a much larger hospital. The place was huge but he parked close to Haley and followed her inside. She still wasn't talking to him but he'd take her silence over her yelling at him.
Nathan wore a baseball cap and dark sunglasses. Luckily, no one had recognized him yet and the few people in the waiting room were too preoccupied to notice him. He wanted to talk to her but knew it wasn't the time. He could tell she was still annoyed at him and frankly, with them in public, he didn't want to hash anything out right here.
"Haley." A nurse came out and Nathan took Haley's lead and followed her inside.
"Is he coming to the check up as well?" The nurse asked Haley, referring to Nathan.
Haley nodded.
"Sir, you can wait here." The nurse pointed to the examination room and then the nurse handed Haley a patient gown.
A few minutes later, Nathan removed the hat and sunglasses and sat down on one of the chairs while Haley changed behind a curtain.
"Turn around!" She ordered.
"What? It's nothing I haven't seen before." Nathan teased.
"Nathan would just please do what I'm asking!"
"Fine fine." Nathan turned around and Haley peeked outside to make sure he was telling the truth. She quickly made her way over to the examining chair and sat down.
They were still waiting for the doctor and Nathan figured this would be a good time as ever to try to talk to her.
"Hey Hales, I'm sorry about earlier."
"Nathan.. I'm.. I'm really tired of hearing you apologize."
"I know but for what it's worth, I really am sorry. I didn't mean to ambush you like that about Alex but yeah, I'm sorry and I want to thank you. .thank you for letting me be here. I know this hasn't been easy on you but I just really want you and the baby.. our baby to be okay."
Haley nodded. "It is our baby." Haley said softly. "Even though sometimes I wish it wasn't. I'm not saying this to be mean to you but I just wanted to let you know. I just don't trust you."
Nathan felt his stomach churn but tried to push it aside. "I know you don't. I don't blame you." Nathan looked at her with sad eyes and for a moment, Haley almost let herself falter. She simply nodded and just then the doctor came walking in.
"Hi Haley.. good to see you again.. I see we have a guest this time." A middle aged man greeted.
"Hi Doctor Anderson." Haley replied shaking his hand. "This.. this is the father." Haley pointed to Nathan.
The doctor looked at him curiously before reaching his hand out. "You're Nathan Scott."
"Yes." Nathan shook his hand.
"Well, I'll be damned.. you've had quite a season." The doctor wasn't expecting to see a NBA player today.
"Yeah I know." Nathan tried to be polite.
"Doctor, given Nathan's notoriety, we would like to keep this just between us." Haley spoke up.
"Oh of course of course." The doctor answered. "Your chart has the father's name blank, we'll keep it that way until you guys are ready."
"Thank you so much." Haley replied back.
"Yes, thank you doctor."
"Your very welcome.. now let's get started… Nathan, you can pull up a chair next to Haley, Haley you know the drill."
Haley secured a towel on her lap and the doctor raised her gown.
Nathan's eyes went wide, seeing the bump for the very first time. He'd felt it before but this was all so real now. The doctor turned on the sonogram machine and sprayed a cool liquid on Haley's stomach. A few seconds later, their baby popped up on the machine.
Nathan's eyes were fixed to the machine as the doctor started pointing out the head, legs and arms. He'd seen the sonogram before but nothing could prepare him for this. The doctor raised the volume of the speakers and you can clearly hear the heart beat. Nathan felt like his own heart was about to jump out of his chest. Haley glanced over at Nathan and saw him awe struck. She'd never seen him that way and she can honestly say that she liked this look.
"The heart is strong, your baby is growing on schedule. Unfortunately, it's too soon yet to tell the sex but by the next visit, I can let you guys know if that's what you want."
"So everything is okay?" Nathan asked.
"Yes, everything is on track, the baby is fine. Haley's doing great." The doctor commented, writing a few notes on the his pad.
"I do need to run some standard tests to make sure the baby is developing properly. Right now, it's asleep but Haley, would you mind taking a bite from those crackers."
Haley reached over and took a cracker and started to chew and swallow it. Then Haley and Nathan both watched in amazement as their little child started to wake up and it's little arms and legs moving.
"Oh my God!" Haley said with tears in her eyes. "I don't.. I don't feel a thing." Haley couldn't believe that she was watching her baby move.
"The fetus is still small, but don't worry, soon enough you will." The doctor replied with a chuckle.
"Wow, look at 'em go." Nathan was just as amazed and unknowingly he held onto Haley's hand. The two of them smiled at each other before turning their attention back onto the screen. Any ill feelings Haley had faded as she saw her baby's arms and feet move. She wasn't expecting this to happen but nevertheless she was thrilled to see it and more importantly, happy that Nathan was able to share in this as well.
The doctor froze the image and printed a few copies, one for him and he handed the other two to the beaming parents.
"Wow." Nathan muttered, feeling speechless. They continued to watch the screen as the doctor filled them in on the rest of his prognosis. Everything was going on schedule and Nathan felt more than relieved. He only recently learned about this pregnancy but after all the he's been through the past few days, he knew he could only see this as a blessing now.
. . . . .
Twenty minutes later, Nathan had his shades and cap back on and the two stepped out of the hospital. Both of them were still over the moon at seeing their child. They both carried a warm smile on their faces and Nathan hadn't been able to put the latest sonogram picture down.
"I know I said this already but thank you Haley… I'm just blown away."
Haley nodded. "I wasn't expecting to see the baby move.. I couldn't believe it."
"This is really it .. there's a little person growing inside you. Wow.." Nathan sighed and smiled. He reached over to her stomach and Haley didn't make a move to stop him.
"Look Nathan, I am glad you came. You deserved to be here."
Nathan took his hand back and nodded. "I have to get back to Seattle but I'll be here for the next appointment. .hopefully even sooner, I'll try to get my agent to clear my schedule and don't worry about the press or anything. No one knows but if something does happen, I'll handle it."
"Okay." Haley nodded. The truth was that she had already enough to deal with and if Nathan said he would deal with it then she would let him. No one knew anything and she just had to make sure she talked to Julian.
"Oh I forgot to go to the pharmacy to get my vitamins.. umm you can go ahead."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes.. I'll.. I'll see you the next time you're in town."
"Yeah.. I guess this is bye." Nathan felt awkward, not really sure what to do.
"Bye." Haley reached in and quickly hugged him and pulled back. He stood there as she headed back inside.
"Haley!" He called out after her and ran over to her, removing his sun glasses.
"Yeah?" Haley turned around.
Even though they were on good terms now, their earlier fight still bothered him. "Look before I go .. what you said earlier about basketball."
"Nathan.. you don't have to..."
"No, Hales, you were right." He interrupted her. "I did put basketball in front of everything else. It's just that.. that when I lost you.. I lost everything. Basketball was the only thing I had left and I.. I couldn't lose that."
"After my accident, I just felt so lost and alone and I know it was wrong of me to just show up three months ago but after today, I won't apologize for it because it brought me here, it gave me this." Nathan held up the sonogram. "It gave us this Haley and now I know Haley."
Haley felt the tears forming in her eyes but she held them at bay. "Know what?" She said barely above a whisper.
"That it wasn't about basketball.." Nathan replied. "I thought I was chasing a dream but the dream was in front of me this whole time. I'm sorry for letting you go Haley."
Haley stayed rooted at her spot as Nathan continued. "And before you say anything, I know you don't have a place for me in your heart but I can already see how much you love this child. I'm just the lucky bastard that gets to be the father. Basketball is my job but this." Nathan placed his hand back on her stomach. "This is what's real.. this is what matters."
Haley stood there as she looked into his cobalt blue eyes, a single tear flowing down her cheeks. Nathan gave her a warm smile and wiped the tear away and the gently caressed her cheeks. Instinctively, she closed her eyes.
"I'll see you soon Hales.. both of you." Nathan said softly as he leaned down and gently kissed her on the cheek. Haley closed her eyes as she felt his lips on her skin but it was only for a second and when she opened her eyes, he was already walking back towards his car.
. . . . .
Nathan put back his shades and adjusted his cap. He felt a little better now that he talked to Haley. He hoped his words go through to her. He meant was he said and going back to Seattle, he had to make sure to straighten things out in his life. Today he got to see his child for the first time, to see it move for the first time. He'd heard stories from other father's but Quentin said it best when you have to experience it yourself to truly know how it feels, the joy, happiness, nervousness and everything in between when it comes to being a dad for the first time.
Lord knows Nathan didn't have the best role model to follow and as he walked closer to his car, he knew thinking about Dan would only lead to bad things. He took off his sunglasses and narrowed his eyes. There leaning against his rental was none other than his own father.
"Dad." Nathan gritted his teeth and clenched his fist.
. . . . .
Lucas glanced towards Haley and found her staring aimlessly out the window.
"We're almost there." He commented and she turned back to him and nodded.
Then he heard her chuckle, "What?"
"Suddenly, I'm feeling scared."
"You have nothing to be scared of .. I'll be right there with you." Lucas replied.
Haley smiled and stared at the road in front of them.
"So I got word from Brooke, she's leaving LA." Haley tried to make small talk.
"A year in LA and she's finally tired of it?" Lucas commented.
"She's following her mother's advice, if she wants to go into fashion then moving to New York is better for her."
"I can't believe how time flew." Lucas commented.
Haley sighed. "I know but next thing you know, your book is going to get published."
"Hopefully, according to my editor, the book won't be ready for print for at least another 6 to 9 months, we're hoping for a spring release."
"I'm sure you'll get it done and it'll do great."
"Thanks." Lucas put the car in park.
The two got out of the car and walked along the grass. They passed a couple of headstones before Haley stopped.
"It's okay Luke, I got this."
"You sure?"
"Yeah." Haley nodded and she walked the rest of the way herself.
Bending down, she placed the flowers on the ground and traced the lettering on the still all too fresh headstone.
"Hi Dad.." Haley choked out.
. . . . . .
The line at the pharmacy was much longer than Haley anticipated but she got her vitamins and headed towards the elevator. Going up to the 7th floor, Haley made her way past the familiar doors and into the Oncology Department.
Entering the hospital room, she bumped into a nurse who was just leaving.
"Oh Miss James, I didn't know you were coming by today."
"I was in the area." Haley replied. "How is she?"
"The last round of chemo drained her but she's sleeping now. Will you be staying over?"
"Not tonight, my sister is coming by later."
"Oh ok, well I got to get going on my rounds. Bye."
"Bye." Haley smiled politely and entered the hospital room. She stood by the bed and ran her hand over her now bald head.
"Hey mom."
To Be Continued . . . . .