The Search For Something More
Chapter 16 - Return of the Future
Thank you all for the reviews and feed back. They mean everything. Again sorry for the delay but real life sucks sometimes lol. I also had writer's block and rewrote certain scenes. Anyways, I modeled Nathan's house as the house we saw in season 5. Enjoy the chapter and please review!
. . . . .
Walking down the cereal isle, Haley struggled with getting Frosted Flakes or Coco Puffs. She had just came from the produce isle, where she got the bananas she was craving for but now she was stuck. It seemed her little one couldn't decide what he was in the mood for. She's had cravings, nothing too weird or out there but this was the first time she actually couldn't take it anymore and left the house to get some groceries. Pushing her cart along, she decided to just get both but stopped dead in her tracks where she eyed the various flavors of Cheerios.
It was late so she was thankful that there weren't too many people in the store. People have been coming up to her and for the most part they have been friendly but she liked the silence and the feeling of being normal. Finally done with the cereals, she made her way to her last stop, the dessert isle.
"Ohh sorry." Haley apologized as she turned the corner and nearly bumped into someone. Haley blinked a few times to make sure she wasn't seeing things. "Nathan?"
Putting the bottle of soda in his cart, he turned to her not acting at all surprised to see her.
"Oh hey." He said casually and turned back to grab another bottle.
"Umm.. I didn't know if you were back or not."
"I got in today, but there's like no food at my house. Is the baby okay? You're here pretty late."
"Just some late night cravings." She pointed to the three boxes of cereal she had.
"Oh okay." Nathan nodded and gave a polite smile, then he turned back around to grab some chips.
Something was up, Haley could tell. She last saw him a week ago at in Seattle. She hadn't heard from all week and she just assumed he was busy with the move and all. The only contact she had from him were text messages confirming the time of their doctor's appointment tomorrow.
"So a house?" Haley didn't know he bought a house or was he renting.
"Yeah, some place across town, nothing fancy." He shrugged. "It's late Haley, you should go home and rest." He said with a touch of concern in his voice.
"Yeah, I'm just going to get some cookies and head out." Haley had grown accustomed to his over protectiveness.
"Oh okay. I'll see you at the appointment tomorrow." He looked down at her growing belly and gave a small smile before walking off in the opposite direction to get more things.
Haley stood there as she watched his retreating form, did she miss something?
. . . . . . .
Haley yawned as she checked her watch. She was currently in the waiting room and still no sign of Nathan. She'd toss and turn for most of the night after her encounter with Nathan at the grocery store. She was getting worried, something was wrong with him. He seemed almost aloof, not rude or anything but certainly not the Nathan she'd come to expect. Sure he told her to go home because it was late but the Nathan she knew would be offering to drive her, walk her to her door, and carry her groceries. Now, he didn't even call her or text her at all this morning. Every time he was in town, he'd always offered to drive her and go together. Nathan could sometimes be a little over bearing with her and the baby and for him to not even hear from him was unexpected. She was just about to call him when he entered through the doors.
"Hi." He gave a tight smile and sat next to her. "How's the baby?"
"He's good." Haley tried to relax, as she took his appearance. A simple black polo and jeans that hugged his form fit body just right, she observed. "You?"
"Good." He nodded and looked forward towards the receptionist.
Haley was about to open her mouth to say something but nothing came out as an awkward silence enveloped the room.
"Haley James?" The receptionist called out breaking up the silence and the two expectant parents stood up.
. . . . . . .
"I just need to take one last shot." The doctor pressed a button and froze the frame.
"So Haley is everything okay? Tiredness, any pain."
"Umm, nothing more than usual."
"That's good, like I said you and the baby are doing fine. The baby's growing as expected. If you plan on doing any more flying, you still can but in like three weeks I would caution against it until the baby is born." Haley nodded. "Just keep eating healthy, drink plenty of fluids, and rest and take naps. Do some light walking to keep your joints in place and it'll help circulate the blood and lessen any swelling on your legs and feet. Do you guys have any questions?"
"Nope." Haley and Nathan replied.
"Great, I'll see you next time. But before we go, here is a copy of the ultra sound." The doctor placed one copy in the file and handed the other to Nathan.
Looking down, he had a small smile on his face and then handed the small photo to Haley, who also beamed at looking at the small photo.
"Do you think I can have a copy for myself." Nathan asked and Haley whipped her head in surprise.
"Umm.. yeah sure." The doctor handed Nathan the other copy. "I'll just get the nurse to print another one for my records." The doctor stood up and said his goodbyes to them.
Haley looked back at Nathan as he stood up and put his copy in his back pocket.
"Alright, I'll see you later."
"You're leaving?" Haley questioned.
"Yeah, I got a ton of things to do." Nathan replied. "You're good for a ride right?"
"Yeah, I .. I drove." Haley was even more confused. "I thought maybe you wanted to grab lunch."
"Not today but you heard what the doctor said, healthy so tone it down with the sugar." Nathan smiled.
"Okay."
"Good." Nathan nodded and for a second, Haley could've sworn that he was going to reach out and touch her belly but he pulled his hand back. It was then that she realized that this whole time, he hadn't even touched her belly.
"I'll talk to you later." Nathan turned on his heel and headed out, leaving Haley alone and baffled on the examining table.
. . . . . .
There was only one place Lucas could think of where he could find Nathan and sure enough, there he was, alone on the River Court. It had been a few days since Nathan and Haley went to the doctor and this was the first time Lucas was going to see Nathan since he left Seattle the other week. Haley had expressed her concerns to Lucas that something was off with Nathan and after not hearing from Nathan for a while, Lucas agreed and sought out to find his brother.
"Nice shot." Lucas commented as Nathan made a three. Nathan glanced over to his brother and then ran over to get the ball and did a lay up.
"Alright, what is it?" Lucas asked. He could tell by Nathan's tense body movements that something was clearly bothering him.
"What're you talking about?" Nathan walked over to a nearby picnic table and grabbed a bottle of water and took a gulp.
"Haley's worried about you. "
Nathan scoffed and nearly choked on his water. "Right." He mumbled under his breath.
"Seriously, Nate, what's going on? I have to fly out to New York soon. I promised Haley, I'd talk to you."
"There's nothing wrong."
"Liar." Lucas smiled and grabbed the ball from Nathan's hand and took a shot. "So what is it? Thanks for returning my calls this past week by the way."
"I was just busy." Nathan bit back.
"Haley said you blew her off for lunch the other day."
"God, what's up with you two? So I didn't have lunch with her and I didn't call you back, the world must be coming to an end." Nathan said sarcastically.
"You didn't even call her before you guys went to the doctors and she said you were acting weird when she ran into you a few nights ago."
"What? I'm not giving her the attention she wants and now she's crying wolf to you. Please." Nathan rolled his eyes and put his bottle of water down.
Lucas had no more doubts, something was definitely wrong here and if Lucas had to put money on it, he'd had to guess that it had something to do with Haley.
"Is this about Haley not telling you about her mom?" Lucas took a guess.
"What?" Nathan looked at Lucas like she was crazy. "Oh and thanks for the heads up … bro." Nathan bit back the last part.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you but that wasn't my news to share and for your information, I told her to tell you but that's a very sensitive topic for Haley, she doesn't like to discuss it at all. So don't get mad at us for keeping something like that from you, it wasn't on purpose or anything."
"Really, cuz Haley has a way of hiding things from me.. the both of you." Nathan eyed his brother curiously.
He'd been shocked and hurt to find out that Haley had accepted money from Dan to pay for her mother. He already had enough to deal with. From his dad and now this with Haley, well he didn't know what to think any more and he had to wonder what Lucas knew. Skills practically begged him to have Haley do a paternity test and he accused her of trying to silicate money from him. It wouldn't be the first time that someone tried to use this "baby" against him. The thought of not being the father made him sick. Not only would he not be the father but that meant that somebody other than him was. He had to believe that Haley wouldn't have it in her to lie about something like this, especially when her child was also the nephew of her best friend. But still, the news of her and Dan rocked Nathan's world and he had to wonder if he really knew Haley at all.
"What aren't you telling me?" Nathan finally asked Lucas.
"What do you mean?"
"What I mean is that I thought we moved past all this bullshit, that we're actually friends.. brothers.. so I'm asking you.. what else aren't you telling me?"
"Nathan, I really don't know what you're talking about. And you better not be mad about me not telling your about Mrs. James, that wasn't something for me to say."
"Fine, we can we cant talk about this engagement ring that Julian bought. I didn't know he was seeing someone new.. or perhaps an old flame."
"So you're jealous that Julian bought a ring?"
"I'm not jealous." Nathan quickly replied.
"Right." Lucas rolled his eyes. "Alright you want to act like a little kid fine." Lucas decided to play this game. "First off, I don't know about any ring. Yes, I know that Haley and Julian had been seeing each other but as far as I know, it has only been as friends."
"Right." Nathan rolled his eyes and mimicked Lucas' earlier actions.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I didn't think it was a big deal, besides I know how cave man you can get which I was clearly right. Second, how do you even know? Did Haley tell you?"
"It doesn't matter how I know but he bought a ring."
"And last time I checked, Haley's not engaged to Julian or anyone else. Is this what you're so pissed about, that Haley's seeing Julian? "
"It's nice to know that Haley's lying to you too."
"Dude, seriously?" Lucas sighed. "I'm just as surprised as you about this whole ring thing. I mean, I wouldn't put it pass Julian, he really loves Haley, but there's a reason why they're not together."
"Oh really, why? Cuz they seem so perfect for each other."
"Cuz of you dumbass." Lucas bit back. "Haley puts on a front but there's definitely feelings still there, I mean you guys are having a kid together."
"And last time I checked Luke, Haley and I aren't together!"
"But you want to be right?" Luke asked. "I thought that's what you wanted, so why are you pushing her away and why the hell are you so mad at me."
"It doesn't matter what I want. She doesn't want me. She already said that plenty of times."
"Nate, I know rejection can be though."
"No Luke, you don't get it!" Nathan turned away and looked out onto the park and watched as a young family, a husband and wife and two young children, a boy and a girl were walking along the water front.
"Then what is it?" Lucas prodded. "Look Nate, whatever happens between you and Haley, it doesn't change anything between us, we're still brothers and I'm here if you need me, despite what an ass you are." Lucas tried to joke.
Nathan snorted and continued to look at the young family.
"You see that." Nathan pointed out.
"When I see Haley, I think of that, at us at the park playing, taking walks, going out to movies, playing basketball here at the River Court.. being a family but .. but that's not going to happen, I know that now."
"Why?" Lucas asked, suddenly wondering where his over the top and cocky brother had gone.
"Have you spoken to Dan?" Nathan suddenly asked.
"Dan?" Lucas squinted his eyes in confusion. "No.. and why are we talking about Dan?"
Maybe, Lucas didn't know, Nathan reasoned. "Did you know he paid for Lydia's treatment?"
Lucas laughed. "You're kidding right?"
Nathan shook his head.
"Wait, there's no way in hell. Haley would never accept .."
"Look at public records." Nathan interrupted. "Her house has a lien on it. Apparently, Haley's family borrowed money against the house to pay for Lydia's treatment but I guess it wasn't enough. Haley got money from Dan and he's apparently the lien holder."
"No.. I mean, I know the treatment is expensive, I just assumed that Haley's siblings all chipped in.." Lucas needed to take a seat. "She went to Dan for help." Lucas couldn't believe this.
"Well at least it's nice to know she hid this from you as well." Nathan replied. At least he wasn't the only one left in the dark.
"I can't believe she would do that.. after everything he's put her through.. put us through!"
"Yeah, one of the guys at the agency did a back ground check on Haley. I got pissed but they were only trying to protect me and so they found out about Dan." Nathan quietly admitted. "She'll never trust me Luke. I understand her not telling me about her dad or her mom but this .. and after all this crap about Dan dying, something doesn't add up here."
"Look, maybe you should talk to Haley."
"For what?" Nathan scoffed. "What'll that do? When I first got back to town, you told me that Haley was a different person, she wasn't the same girl I fell for in high school.. and you're right. I mean even the guys at the agency wanted me to do a paternity test but I have to at least believe she wouldn't lie to me about that."
"She wouldn't." Lucas tried make it sound convincing but even he was having a hard time processing everything.
"She doesn't owe me nothing Luke. She told me herself that if I wanted nothing to do with this baby then that'll be okay with her. I'm not anything to her except the guy who broke her heart and fathered her child. Shit, I'm not even sure if we're even friends. I thought I could make her fall back in love with me.. I guess I have my answer."
"Nate man, just talk to her. No matter what happens, it doesn't change the fact that his baby is coming and you don't want this baggage to be dumped on him."
Nathan opened his mouth but the words failed him. Silence came over them and Lucas followed Nathan's line of sight back to the young family nearby. They looked happy and carefree, enjoying their day in the park and thy both wondered if either of them would ever have that.
. . . . . .
Haley stepped out of her car and made her way to her front porch but stopped dead in her tracks when she saw who was waiting for her. Seeing Haley approaching, Nathan stood up and waited for her. She walked cautiously towards him, not knowing what to expect.
"Hey." Haley put on a smile as she climbed the stairs. She wasn't expecting to see him. In fact, Lucas was supposed to talk with Nathan yesterday but she never heard anything back from Luke. He hadn't returned any of her calls and she was wondering what was up with these Scott boys.
"Hey." Nathan replied.
"Did you umm.. want to go inside?" Haley asked.
"No, I'm actually not staying long." Nathan put his hands in his pocket. "Umm.. how are you?"
"I'm good." Haley shuffled nervously. "You?"
"I'm good." Nathan nodded. And then shook his head and let a small laugh. He turned his head away and looked up at the clouds. It looked like it was about to pour at any minute.
"Actually, I'm not good." Nathan admitted. He promised Lucas yesterday that he would talk to Haley. He had to admit, he was scared about the whole thing but Lucas was right, the baby had to come first. If he and Haley weren't meant to be, then he'd rather have it over now than after the baby is born. "I'm sorry if I've been acting weird." Nathan turned back to Haley.
"Ok." Haley replied. "What's wrong?"
"Everything." Nathan admitted. "I'm in love with a girl who doesn't love me back."
"Nathan.." Haley tried to speak but Nathan continued.
"Hales, it's okay. I get it, alright." Nathan took a step back. "Last week I told you that I didn't want you to forget all the crap I've done and that it was the only way to move forward and so that's what I'm doing now."
"Okay." Haley replied, unsure of what to say.
"We have to more forward Haley cuz before you know it, the baby will be here and no matter what happened or will happen with us, I want to make sure the baby is okay."
"I want that too."
"Good." Nathan nodded. "I told you that I'll be here for you and the baby and I want you to know I mean that." Nathan said seriously.
"I know Nathan, I believe you." Haley didn't know where all of this was coming from.
Nathan gave a small smile. "And maybe one day we can even be friends."
Haley tilted her head, "Umm, we are friends."
Nathan gave out a small laugh. "No, Haley we're not. You've never been a friend Haley, you'll always be more.. always been more." Nathan corrected himself and took a deep breath. "Look, I didn't come here to hash old wounds, I wanted to put the past behind us and move forward and maybe so that maybe one day we can be friends."
"Nathan, where is this coming from?"
"I know Haley." Nathan said softly. "About you and Dan, I know."
Haley jaw fell in shock and she suddenly felt like throwing up. "Nat.. Nathan, I can explain."
"Hales, that's the thing you don't need to explain, you don't owe me anything."
"But."
"But what?" Nathan asked back. "You're mom was sick, you obviously needed the money, I get it Hales."
"Nathan, you have to believe me when I say I felt like didn't have another choice." Haley fought the tears that were threatening to escape from her eyes.
"I believe you."
"I wanted to tell you, I did, I just didn't know how."
"I'm not going to lie, I was hurt when I found out. I would've rather have heard it from you instead of one of the guys from the agency but it doesn't matter anymore." Nathan shook his head. "I was living in some fantasy world where we would end up back together. I know now that I hurt you too much for us to be anything more, I mean of all the people of the world you turned to Dan Scott." Nathan's chuckled and shook his head again. "You've been telling me for months that we could never be together again but I wasn't listening, but now I get the message Hales." Nathan started to walk down the stairs of her front patio.
"I love you." Haley blurted out and Nathan turned around and gave her a small smile. He walked back up to her and gave her a small kiss on the cheeks.
"I love you too." Nathan caressed her cheek for a second and then started to walk down stairs again. "Look, I don't like the guy but from what Lucas told me, it seems that this Julian person is a good guy. He loves you Hales, he won't hurt you like I have."
Nathan waved off as he walked into his car. "I'll see you around Hales."
Haley stood there, her eyes brimming with tears as the clouds opened up and it started to pour.
. . . .
"Hello." Lucas picked up his cell phone.
"Finally." Haley huffed out. "Where does he live?"
"Whoa, slow down Hales. Where does who live?"
"Nathan." Haley replied. "What's his address?"
"For what?"
"Cuz I need to see him." Haley quickly replied. "What is it?"
Lucas gave her the address and switched the phone to his other ear. He was currently in New York and was getting ready to have dinner with Brooke but couldn't figure out what shirt to wear for tonight. He wished he packed more clothes so he would have more options.
"Are you okay? I can barely hear you."
"I'm fine. There's like some storm or something. Look, did you talk with Nathan yesterday?"
"I did."
"Did he tell you about Dan?"
"Yes, actually he did." Lucas replied and cleared his throat. "I can't believe you would turn to him for help."
"Luke, I had my reasons, desperation being one of them but I didn't come to him, he came to me."
"Hales.."
"Look Luke, I'm sorry for not telling you but I'll explain everything later. It's pouring out and I can barely see in front of me. I'll see you when you get back."
"Hales, wait.. Hales!" Lucas yelled at the phone but it was too late. She already hung up.
. . . . .
With a little bit of sweet talking, Haley was able to get through the front gates to the private community where Nathan lived. Once Haley mentioned Nathan Scott, the security guard suddenly realized why Haley looked familiar and let her on the premises. Pulling up in the driveway, she quickly made her way to his front door but it was no use, she was already soaked.
Hearing the heavy banging on the door, Nathan got up from the living room and made his way to the front door.
"Haley, what're you doing here?" Nathan stepped aside to let his pregnant.. whatever .. inside. "Aren't the roads all closed? It's like Marshall Law or something."
"I know I know but I have to come talk to you." Haley was dripping all over Nathan's new hard wood floors. When Nathan went to see her earlier, she was completely shocked and even after he left and it started to pour, she just stood there under her front patio. It wasn't until she heard a rumble of thunder that she decided to get up and see Nathan. Call it hormones or five years of pent up feelings but she just had to see Nathan.
"What is it?" Nathan closed the door and then turned to face Haley but he was met with a quick slap in the face.
"What the hell?" Nathan covered his soon to be red cheeks.
"I tell you 'I love you' and you tell me to go back to Julian!" Haley couldn't hold in her feelings any more.
"Did you know that he asked me to marry him.. again!"
"Actually I did." And Haley quickly slapped him again.
"Fuck, Hales will you quit?" Nathan nursed his cheek again.
"Don't worry, I'm heading out." She said angrily and sidestepped Nathan back towards the door. "All this talk about us getting back together again." Haley scoffed. "What was that for huh? To mess with my head, was this all some sick joke to you?"
"No, I meant it."
"Yet, you want me to marry another man? I can't believe you!"
"I can't make you love me Haley." Nathan said in as calm as a voice as he can muster. The last thing he wanted was to get Haley more worked up than she already was.
"I can't make you let me back in." He added. "I can't help that every time you see me, you see that 18 year old boy that ran out on us. Like I told you Hales, I get it. I mean of all the people to turn to for help, you went to Dan .. not even to me or even Lucas." Nathan reminded Haley. "I love you Hales, I want you to be happy and if Julian makes you happy then so be it."
Tears welled up in Haley's eyes and she slapped Nathan once more.
"You don't get it!" She pleaded with him as tears ran down her shivering body. "It's not about Julian, it was never about him but you know what I'm done." She shook her head. "Just when I think we're making progress and reaching some stable ground, you manage to pull the rug right underneath from me." Haley reached for the door.
"What the hell Haley? You're the one that doesn't want us to be together, I tried and it obviously wasn't enough. What more do you want from me?"
"I wanted you to fight for me!" Haley exclaimed. "God Nathan! You hurt me so bad, how can I let you in when I'm always afraid you're going to run out on me.. on us." Haley clutched her stomach. "Do you think that I want to raise this baby on my own? I don't but I can't help but consider the possibility. How can I even consider going to your for help when I don't know if you'll be there? You've been telling me for months how much you love me, how much you want to be with me and I was starting to see pass all the pain you've put me through but I guess I was wrong because the Nathan Scott I knew, the Nathan Scott I fell in love with goes after what he wants, he fights for it and the way you've given up on me so easily, well I guess I know now that I'm not the one you want." Haley paused to let the tears fall from her eyes as she found to remain composed. "It's never been me." Haley said sadly and opened the door and started to run to her car.
Hearing Haley's words cut a knife through him and he stood frozen as Haley ran back into the storm. A moment later, against the wild winds and the torrential rain, something in Nathan finally snapped. He ran after Haley and closed her door before she could even enter it.
"Nathan, what the hell?" Haley protested but Nathan ignored her.
"You're not going anywhere in this weather." He proclaimed and proceeded to drag her back inside.
"Nathan let go of me."
"NO!" He exclaimed, sending chills down Haley's spine. The rain washed over them and Haley's vision was a little blurred but she could see something in Nathan's eyes, a fire that she never saw in him before.
Before Haley could protest anymore, he promptly took her car keys away from her and lifted her up in his arms and proceeded to carry her back inside.
"Nathan put me down!" She complained but Nathan ignored her as he closed the front door behind him with foot and then proceeded to climb up the stairs, not caring at all that they were both dripping wet.
Reaching the oversized, master bedroom, Nathan finally put her down and ordered her to stay.
"I'm not letting you or OUR baby in that storm." He stated as he went to his drawers and pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of old sweat pants. He handed it to Haley and pointed towards the master bath. The tone in his voice left for no arguments that she shouldn't cross him on this.
"There are extra towels in there. Get out of these wet clothes. I'll make you hot chocolate or something."
Haley wanted to ignore him and leave but it was no use, Nathan seemed determined to keep her there and hearing the storm raging outside, Haley had to put her pride aside and just stick it out. Nathan was right, she couldn't risk their baby like that.
When Haley made her way to the bathroom, Nathan finally sighed in relief. He removed his damp shirt and quickly changed into a pair of basketball shorts and a dry shirt. He then made his way downstairs and started to make hot chocolate for Haley.
Haley dried herself off and hung her wet clothes on the towel rack. She finally had some time to calm down a bit after everything that's happened. Changing into Nathan's clothes, she could smell his scent on it. It was then that she took a minute to study the bathroom and his room. This wasn't at all what she expected, she expected more of a bachelor pad, of dark leather couches and big screen tv's. This was a house, a home. A few minutes later, Haley went downstairs to join Nathan in the kitchen.
Nathan tried to smile at the sight of Haley in his clothes. She looked so beautiful, he wanted to kiss her senseless but reality brought him back.
"Here, have a drink." He pushed the drink towards Haley as she took a seat on the counter. Nathan turned to grab himself a bottle of water from the fridge.
Sensing the need for calm, Haley spoke first.
"The house is nice." Haley commented as she took a sip.
"Thanks." Nathan muttered.
"So you bought it?"
Just then a clasp of thunder rocked the house and all the power turned off.
"Wait here." Nathan replied as he scurried to find a flashlight. He left the kitchen and came back a few minutes later with another flashlight and his cell phone on hand.
"The whole neighbor hood is out." He commented. "So is most of the town. There's been a state of emergency declared, you should stay here for the night. It's too dangerous to be out."
Haley nodded in agreement as she got out of the stool and placed her now empty mug in the sink.
"It's late and I'm feeling a little tired, do you mind if I just crash?" Haley replied. She couldn't take another second of the awkwardness.
"Yeah, sure." Nathan led her off to one of the guestroom on the main floor. The room was sparsely decorated, with only an empty dresser and a full sized bed.
"You can take the spare room." Nathan led her inside.
"This is fine." Haley commented.
"The downstairs bath is just around the corner." Nathan stated and was about to walk away but stood at the door and turned back to her. He couldn't leave things like that. He needed to tell her how he felt. He couldn't let her think he didn't care for her, he always had even when it seemed he didn't.
"Haley?"
"Yeah."
"Look." Nathan took a deep breath. "I don't want you to be with Julian or any guy for that matter. In fact the thought alone makes me sick but you deserve better than me Hales I've been trying so hard but all I keep doing is messing up. Just when I think we are getting somewhere, something always happens and no matter what, I always end up fucking things up. I know that I hurt you Hales and I don't mean to do it but I hurt too." Nathan said softly.
"Every time, I see you and can't hold you or kiss, it kills me. When I have to tell everyone, you're just a friend, that hurts and every time you look at me and all I see is the pain I caused you, it hurts Hales. It all hurts Hales." Nathan clutched his fist over his heart. "But it's my cross to bear Haley, not yours. When I mentioned Julian, it wasn't that I didn't want to be with you it was that I can't bear to see you hurting and upset, it's cuz I want you to be happy even if it's not with me." Nathan stated and the two stood there for what felt like an eternity.
"Good night Haley." Nathan walked away and quicky headed back to his room upstairs.
He suddenly grew hot and felt like he was suffocating. Tearing his shirt off, he dropped on the bed and stared up on the ceiling. How was he going to sleep knowing Haley was under his roof?
. . . .
Haley tried in vain for the past hour to sleep but it useless. Thoughts of Nathan consumed her to the point where she finally got up and started to walk around. In all this, she forgot about his feelings and how he felt about everything. He may have been the one to break them but that still didn't mean he hadn't suffered like she had. The thought of him hurting over their break up was something Haley would've relished before but now. Now the knowledge just left her numb.
Curiosity got the best of her and she started to explore the house. Outside her room was another room, the formal living room or a study perhaps. It was still empty and Haley thought it would make for a good music room. She walked by the stairs and through the also empty formal dining room and back into the kitchen and family room. She liked the open lay out and liked how the windows and back door opened towards the back, where Haley looked out across the rain swept terrain to a swimming pool. There was a comfortable sofa that looked onto a fireplace and a flat screen tv hanging above it. She was in the kitchen earlier but now she took a good look at it and like the breakfast bar and how it was open to the family room. It had a generous amount of cabinet space and the island was a decent size to bake and cook. Climbing up another set of stairs off the kitchen, Haley found another guest room with only an empty bed inside and past another bathroom and came to a stop in front of the master bedroom.
It was that she noticed another door right across it. She opened the door to the other room and she nearly gasped as she took in her surroundings. The walls were painted a light lime green, there was a closet with mirrored doors in front of her. The wall behind her, where the door was attached to had a blue plaid wallpaper but what caught her eye the most was the crib set up in the corner. There was a rocking chair to the side and a changing station and a dresser. On the dresser was a photo of the baby's first sonogram and a couple of pictures of the two of them from high school, some with Lucas and their other friends. Looking down into the crib, it was still missing linens but she couldn't help but smile as she saw a small stuffed bear inside. It was wearing a Tree Hills Raven basketball jersey and in it's hand, a small orange basketball.
"It was the first room I decorated."
Haley was startled to find Nathan by the door way.
"There's still a couple of things missing but I thought.. hoped we can do that together." Nathan said softly as he stepped closer. Haley stayed rooted to her spot.
"You asked me earlier if I bought this house and I did." Nathan paused. "I bought it because as soon as I stepped inside, I saw you, me and our son in here, I saw a life here Hales, I saw our family." He gave her a sad smile.
Haley's lips were trembling as a single tear came down her face.
Nathan stepped closer and wiped it away with his fingers and caressed her cheeks. "Do you know how many times i tried to let you go?" Nathan chuckled. "But I can't, I love you too much and if I have to wait a lifetime for you to trust me again Hales, then I'll wait because there's nobody else for me Hales. I can go out and date and find someone new but it would never be enough. I'd always be searching for more. It's you Haley. It's always been you." Nathan stroked her cheek once more before exiting the room and going back to his.
Nathan sat on his bed and took a deep breath before lying back down and staring into the ceiling. His heart was racing, one more minute with Haley and he didn't know if he could contain himself from kissing her and risk getting smacked.. again. He needed to get out of there. He needed her to figure out what she wants.
. . . .
Haley stood there in the middle of the room trying to take everything in. This was her son's room, the room where her baby boy would be rocked to sleep and play and goof off. Under this roof, this was where she can have the life she's always wanted. Not being able to hold back herself any longer, her feet took her to Nathan's room and she stood at the door way as he lied there, his eyes wide open, staring up.
"Nathan." She called out and he sat up at her voice.
Racing over to him, he quickly pulled her into his arms and she sobbed against his chest. The fear of opening her heart up was ever present but she couldn't live in fear anymore. Her life flashed before her eyes, one in which her and Nathan would raise their child in separate households or one in which they were together.. a family. She had to take the chance, to realize that people make mistakes and aren't perfect, herself included.
"I want it too." Haley muttered against his chest and then pulled back to look him in the eyes, those deep blue eyes that she lost herself as a teenager and now years later, it was the same feeling.
"Everything you want I want it too. The house, the kids, I want it all Nathan and I want it with you. I've always wanted it with you." She stroked his dark hair.
"Are you sure?" Nathan had to ask, afraid that his was a dream.
Haley nodded. "I'm not going to lie Nathan, I'm scared, so scared that you'll leave me again."
"I won't." He vowed. "I love you Haley and our son." He proclaimed. "I can't promise, we won't fight again or I that I'll never hurt you again because knowing my luck, I'll probably screw up sooner than later." He tried to joke and Haley sniffled as she let out a small laugh.
"But I promise Hales to always love you." He swore in a more serious tone and pressed his forehead against her's as her eyes spilled with tears.
Moving slowly, his lips captured her's. The kiss started off slow but quickly deepened and it wasn't until air became an issue that their lips finally parted.
Pulling away, Nathan wiped away her tears and they kissed each other again and when they pulled back, both were smiling from ear to ear. Haley wrapped her arms around Nathan and nuzzled her face against his bare chest, loving the feel of him enveloping her. Pulling the sheets over them, Nathan held her close to him.
Haley sat up to look at Nathan. "Promise me you won't leave me." Haley pouted.
"Never." He swore again and kissed her on her lips.
"And promise me, we'll take things slow. Five years is a long time Nathan and I want us to take our time, to get to know each other again."
"I promise Hales." Nathan pulled her back to him. "We're going to do it right this time."
Haley buried her face against his chest again and nodded her head. "This feels right." Haley muttered.
"Because it is." Nathan smiled and placed a kiss on top of her head. Nathan felt her body relax against his and Haley's eyes were suddenly very heavy, the events of the day were taking it's toll on her.
"Go to sleep, baby." Nathan soothed her back.
Haley let out a content sigh as she hugged Nathan tighter and started to drift off into a blissful sleep. This was it, Nathan thought. Although it still hurt to know that Haley still had doubts about them, he wouldn't be deterred. This is what he came back for, his life, his family. He would prove to her that she didn't need to worry about him any more. He would gain her full trust and confidence again. Haley's breathing had gone steady and holding her tightly, he knew he was never go to let go. Not this time. Not ever.
To Be Continued . . . .
P.S. Happy Birthday James Lafferty !