The Search for Something More
Chapter 23 – The Desperate Kingdom of Love
Thank you all for the feedback. Now this chapter was one of those things I imagined from the start of the story. It's also very long and a lot of emotions going on in this chapter. There is one flashback in here which may seem familiar. It took me a while to get it all in here as I kept changing things here and there. I tried my best to convey how it all played out in my mind. Also, this is a very long chapter, probably my longest so if I mess up on grammar or spelling I am so sorry. I don't know where my beta went lol but if anyone wants to help me out, please let me know.
Enjoy and please review!
I also updated "Happily Ever After" with the POV of Nathan and Haley so check that out.
"I could love you forever." Nathan says softly as his body hovers above her.
"So could I."
"You're my family now Haley. The true thing I have. I never wanna lose you."
"You won't." She caressed his check. She sees his blue eyes turn dark and his brow furrows inward and she knows he's in deep thought. " What?"
Then realization comes over him and Nathan's face relaxes and a small smile creeps onto his face.
"Haley, this isn't funny!" Brooke held onto her phone tight.
"You have to admit Brooke, it kinda is." Haley snickered.
"Haley, you should be upset! The papers think Nathan is cheating on you.. with me!"
"Oh I know, that's why it's so funny."
"Oh gosh." Brooke put her head down. "This is so embarrassing, everyone thinks I'm a home wrecker to one of my best friends!"
"Brooke, calm down. It's okay. I know it's not true."
"Yes but that's not what everyone else thinks!" Brooke pointed out.
"Who cares what other people think." Haley shrugged. One thing she learned over the past couple of months and dealing with the press herself, you can't believe everything you read. "And serves you right for making Nathan take you shopping."
"What?" Brooke replied innocently. "I told you I forgot my wallet."
"Uh hu." Haley replied sarcastically. "I hope you didn't give Nathan too much of a hard time."
"Moi?" Brooke replied in an overly sweet voice.
"Brooke, I know you and I know that you weren't too thrilled that I decided to move in with Nathan so soon. He's really trying Brooke." Haley was a little surprised that Nathan said that he would contact Brooke while he was shooting in New York but she loved Nathan for trying. She loved Brooke to death but she can be just as over protective as Lucas and Nathan. Brooke and Nathan were civil around each other for her but it warmed Haley's heart to know that Nathan was trying to thaw the ice with Brooke. Haley had felt the same way when Nathan finally got a chance to meet with her mom for the first time in five years.
"Yeah, yeah I know. And believe it or not I am happy for you.. if this is what you want of course."
"It is." Haley replied confidently.
Good, you better enjoy the rock that I helped picked out for you, Brooke thought to herself.
"Then good." Brooke replied. "But if I'm freaking out about this, I can't imagine how Nathan will react." Luckily, while Brooke was on the phone with Haley, she texted Nathan what happened and the cover story she used with Haley as to why photographers caught them in a jewelry store. All she knew was that she was definitely going to make Nathan buy her something nice and shiny for all the trouble she's gone through.
Haley leaned back on the sofa and put the magazine she was looking at of Nathan and Brooke down and picked up one of the parenting/ mother's to be magazine she picked up at the grocery store.
"I'm pretty sure that once he gets home, he's going to freak out." Haley casually replied.
. . . . . .
"Nathan, calm down." Clay switched his blackberry to his other ear. Nathan's yelling was doing some serious damage to his ear drums.
"Calm down!" Nathan exclaimed. "The world thinks I'm a douche cheating on his pregnant girlfriend!" Nathan looked back at the article and threw the magazine down on the ground. After leaving the clinic, Lucas and Nathan went to the local drug store where two other magazines also had similar articles of Brooke and Nathan shopping. Nathan was currently yelling on the phone in an empty parking lot while Lucas watched amused.
"I told you, I'll take care of it, we're just going to tell the press the truth."
"Like anyone cares about that."
"Nate, seriously. Relax. I'm going to tell them what you told me, you just met up with an old friend. She was forgot her wallet, you paid for the jewelry."
"Yeah. That sounds right. Look Clay, just fix it okay." Nathan hung up the phone and turned to Lucas.
"What's so funny?" Nathan glared at his brother.
"The thought of you and Brooke." Lucas laughed.
"It's gross." Nathan pointed out. "How is that you can't get with her and yet I'm the one that looks like I'm hooking up with her?"
"Cute." Lucas narrowed his eye at Nathan. "But I still don't get why you and Brooke went shopping."
Nathan cleared his throat. "Believe me, it wasn't something I was looking forward to."
"What are you not telling Nathan?"
"Nothing."
"Something feels off."
"Did you not hear me yelling at Clay, of course I'm feeling off."
"That's not what I meant."
"You mean the fact that we might have HCM and my son.. your nephew might have it too." Nathan shook his head. "Geez Luke, quit with the third degree." Nathan got back in the car.
"You're right. I'm sorry, let's just go back home."
Nathan nodded and started the engine up when he heard his phone chirp. He reached for his phone and noticed a text message from Alex.
"What is it?" Lucas asked. Nathan showed his phone to Lucas and Lucas immediately tried not to laugh.
"How come you never bought me jewelry Nate? And FYI, I'm totally hotter than that chick."
"Not a word." Nathan word.
"I wasn't going to say anything." Lucas put on his seatbelt.
. . . . . . .
"Hales!" Nathan called out as he entered his house, their house.
"Hey!" Haley came waddling out of the kitchen, a bottle of water in her hand. "What's that?"
"What?" Nathan asked innocently.
"Whatever it is you're hiding behind you're back." Haley eyed him curiously as she stepped closer to him.
"Oh you mean these." Nathan whipped out a doze lavender lilies.
"Aww, pretty." Haley eagerly took it from him and leaned up and kissed him on the lips. "Are you trying to buy my affection?"
"Huh?"
"Kind of like how you bought Brooke's?" Haley quipped.
"I guess you saw it." Nathan wanted to kick himself in the ass. Of course Haley saw it, Brooke had texted him while he was at the clinic.
Haley nodded as she went back to the kitchen to look for a vase to put the flowers in. She found one but it was too high for her to reach. Nathan pressed himself against Haley and removed it from her.
"Whatever that article said, it's not true."
"I know." Haley giggled. "I talked to Brooke already and believe me as soon as I saw it I knew it was a lie. It's actually pretty funny."
"Not you too." Nathan groaned. "Lucas said the same thing."
"Well, it is. You and Brooke Davis." Haley laughed.
"Party foul on the mental image." Nathan quipped back.
Haley playfully smacked his shoulder as she went to the sink and put water in the vase. "Look after everything that's happened in the past couple of months, I know never to trust whatever those papers have to say."
"Thank you." Nathan leaned and kissed Haley on top of her head. "But I'm still sorry."
"No, I'm sorry. You don't need this bad press." Haley turned around to face him.
"Yeah, I know but I have Clay on it."
"Good." Haley picked up the flowers and proceeded to walk towards the dining room where she set the vase down in the middle of the dining table.
"Whoa, this looks different." Nathan glanced around.
"Yeah, there's actually furniture in here, so what do you think?"
"I think it looks.. good." Nathan surveyed the room.
"Oh God, you hate it."
Now it was Nathan's turn to laugh. "I don't hate it, Hales. It's fine really."
"You sure it's not too girly. When you told me I can pick out the furniture I wasn't too sure and I knew I should've waited for you to come back from New York but I was bored and I stopped by furniture store. I knew we should've picked this out together. I should call the store to return it."
Nathan chuckled and interrupted her. "Haley, it's fine. I don't mind it at all."
"But this is supposed to be our place now, we should decide on these things together."
"While you make a valid point," Nathan placed his hands on her shoulder and started to gently stroke her arms. "In all honesty Hales, I could care less. I mean just give me my comfy couch and the big screen and I'm fine, plus I already know you hate pink so I'm fine with whatever you choose."
"You sure?"
"Yes, plus I like that you picked it out. It'll always remind me of you.. of us and how can I hate that?" Nathan leaned his forehead against Haley's.
"Oh I love this whole, you leaving and coming back." She kissed him and gave him a big hug.
"Well it is nice to be back home." Nathan wrapped his arms around Haley and guided her back to the living room and they settled on the couch. Nathan saw a bunch of magazines sprawled out on the coffee table. He grabbed them all and sorted out the ones that had the pictures of him and Brooke.
"Yeah, these are getting thrown away."
Haley laughed and grabbed one of the parenting magazines from him. "Don't throw this one away, this has a bunch of tips for first time parents."
"Yeah, definitely keep that." Nathan agreed.
"There's so many things that we still have to do." Haley skimmed through the magazine. "You know there's a whole section on baby safety alone." Haley shook her head. "First thing tomorrow, I'm signing up us up for one of those classes, we also need to do our Lamaze class."
"Yeah, that's smart. They train you to do diapers too right? Cuz I have no clue how to do that."
"You changing a dirty diaper, oh that'll be the day." Haley joked.
"I know." Nathan agreed. "But that day will be soon approaching." Nathan rubbed Haley's belly. "Maybe I can make Clay do it, like put it as part of his duties." He joked back.
Haley laughed as she skimmed through the magazine. "There's so many things to think about like getting the right formula, making sure we use the baby detergent to wash all his clothes and linens, you know there's even kangaroo time for when after the baby is born."
"Kanga- what?"
"Kangaroo time. It's basically, you holding the baby, skin to skin. It helps transition them from the womb to the real world. Most mother's do it but dad's do it too."
"Are you for real?"
"Yeah, look here's an article on it." Haley flipped the pages to the article and handed it to Nathan. "It'll be cute, you holding the baby shirtless, or just you shirtless." Haley smirked.
Nathan smirked back.
"Apparently." Haley cleared her throat, her pregnancy hormones getting the best of her at the moment. "It's very helpful with premature babies. I asked my mom about it and she said she did it with me." Then Haley's face grimaced.
"What?"
"Well she said she inadvertently did kangaroo time because she walked around naked with me."
Nathan grimaced back. "TMI Hales."
"Yeah you're right." Haley shook her head. "Speaking of my mom, we're having a small party for her next weekend. I need you to pick up the birthday cake."
"It's her birthday already?"
"Not really but she's going to go away with her and her friends to some country-folk music festival down in Savannah and then she's going to spend sometime with my brother in California. She'll be there for her birthday with other family too but I'm not able to fly anymore so I figure we can celebrate a little early."
"Okay, cool. We having it here or your mom's house."
"The café actually. Karen volunteered."
"Sounds good." Nathan nodded and flipped through the parenting magazine. He couldn't believe that he and Haley were going to be parents soon. Now this was the type of magazines he should be paying attention to.
"What the hell?" Nathan looked at one of the ads. "$200 for a breast pump."
"Yeah, I hear those things are expensive."
"Look I may have some money stashed away but there's no way I'm going to spend that much money on something to squeeze your breasts." Nathan pointed out. "I can just use a bottle and use my hands."
"Nathan, I'm not a cow!"
"What? It'll give me a chance to handle the goods before the kid steals it from me." Nathan smirked.
"Already, jealous of our son huh?" Haley arched her eyebrow.
"Nooo.." Nathan replied and put the magazine down and pulled Haley close to him.
"I love our son." Nathan rested his hand on top of her ever growing belly. "And I love you."
"I love you too." Haley put her arms around Nathan's shoulder. "Now did I ever tell you how much I missed you while you were away."
"I believe you haven't."
"Well, let me show you." Haley smiled and leaned forward and kissed Nathan. Nathan held Haley close and leaned as Haley straddled him.
"Shirt off now." Haley ordered.
"Is it our kangaroo time?" Nathan chuckled as he removed his shirt. Haley let her fingers run across his chiseled chest and abs.
Haley had some sort of witty comeback to say to him but right now all she can focus on was his torso.
"Oh yeah." Haley replied seductively as she dipped forward and locked lips with Nathan.
"Do you have it?" Brooke asked.
"Do you?" Nathan replied back.
Brooke looked around to make sure no one was around. They were currently in the back of Karen's Café. Haley and some of the others were in the front setting up for Lydia's party.
"Of course I have it." Brooke replied. "But you first."
Nathan glanced behind him to make sure the coast was clear. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a watch from Tiffany's. Brooke immediately grabbed it and wore it.
"So pretty." Brooke admired her new toy. "You have such good tastes."
"Well you are the one that picked it out." Nathan replied. Spending a few hundred dollars to keep Brooke pleased was well worth the investment. He did owe her for helping him out with the ring and getting her involved in this whole mess with the tabloids. Clay had released a statement and recent shots of him and Haley together that seem to have calmed the potential media storm.
"The ring?"
"Here you go." Brooke handed him a small velvet black box.
Nathan opened it and instantly smiled. The diamond was definitely much bigger but not too over the top because he knew that Haley wouldn't like that. He could definitely see her wearing it and a lifetime of happiness that comes with it.
Nathan heard footsteps behind him and quickly snapped the box shut and put it in his pocket.
"Hey, Nathan can you help Lucas with the… Brooke?" Haley completely forgot that Brooke was going to be back in Tree Hill.
"Hey Hales." Brooke plastered a smile on her face and gave Haley a quick hug.
"Hey Brooke, I forgot you were back in town. What're you two doing?" She asked curiously. She definitely felt like she walked in on something important.
"Nothing." They both replied at the same time.
Now Haley curiosity was getting peaked.
"Just saying hi." Brooke spoke first.
"Yeah." Nathan replied. "And Brooke was just about to pay me back for the watch I bought for her." Nathan added.
"Yeah." Brooke replied. "Wait what?"
"Oh is that it?" Haley asked once she saw Brooke's wrist.
"Yeah." Brooke held her hand up.
"Oh it's so pretty. I can only imagine how much it costs."
"$800.00 to be exact." Nathan replied and eyed Brooke with a grin.
"Brooke, I can't believe you spent so much on a watch."
"I know." Brooke gritted.
"But it is a nice watch." Nathan added.
"Yeah and I was telling Nathan here before you walked in that I forgot my check book."
"Oh I think I saw it when you opened your purse to get your cell phone." Nathan pointed to Brooke's open bag.
Brooke gave a tight smile. "Well what do you know, I do have my check book." Brooke reluctantly took it and started to make a check out to Nathan.
"Hey Nathan." Haley turned to Nathan while Brooke wrote out the check. "Lucas was able to get the cake and some other stuff, can you help unload his car when you're done?"
"Sure thing."
"Great." Haley leaned up and gave Nathan a peck on the cheek. "We'll talk later Brooke, I have to finish decorating."
"Don't over do it." Nathan playfully chided.
Haley playfully waved her hands off as she walked back to the front.
"Thanks." Nathan smirked as he took the check from Brooke.
"No, thank you."
Nathan looked down on the check and saw that Brooke wrote out a check for $1.00.
"Brooke, what the hell!"
"Relax hot shot, I'm going to need the money to throw the fabulous baby shower me and Peyton are planning for Haley." Brooke smirked as she walked past Nathan.
. . . . . .
The party was in full swing and everyone was having a great time. Nathan watched from a distance as Haley smiled and laughed with her mom and Karen. Haley looked so happy and he was so glad that Haley was enjoying herself and spending time with her mom. Haley's rather large family kept Lydia on the road.
"Hey." Lucas walked up behind Nathan.
"Hey." Nathan turned around.
"Look, I was going to wait until the end of the party but I need to talk to you." Lucas said in a low voice.
"Is everything okay?" Nathan asked.
"Follow me." Lucas nodded towards the door. Nathan took one last glance at Haley before following Lucas outside.
Nathan had a good idea of what this was about and they walked about two store fronts down before Lucas stopped.
"I just got it today." Lucas reached for the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out a white envelope.
"I was going to wait until later but ever since I saw it today, I couldn't stop thinking about it." Lucas was glad Haley kept him and Nathan busy today with setting up for the party but now he was just too anxious and nervous and scared. His nephew's future was in that envelope.
Nathan's hands trembled slightly as he took the letter from Lucas. It had his name and Haley's name on it. Instead of using Nathan's address, he wrote the mailing addresses to Lucas' so Haley couldn't find it.
"Any word about our test results?"
Lucas shook his head. "I called the lab, we should be hearing something in the next few days."
Nathan nodded and closed his eyes for a second and took a big breath and then opened the envelope up.
"Whoa." Nathan balanced himself on Lucas for a second. "It's good. The baby is good. No HCM." Nathan muttered.
"Thank God." Lucas finally let himself breath and reached out and hugged his brother.
"I mean we assumed he was going to be okay. I'm just relieved to know."
"Yeah same here." Lucas pulled back and took a step back as he saw Haley emerge from the café'.
"Are you two trying to skimp out on cleaning duties?" Haley called out. She could've sworn she saw those two leave the café.
"We'll be right in." Nathan called back and hid the envelope from Haley's view.
Haley went back inside and Nathan sighed and turned back to Lucas. "Here hold on to this for the mean time." Nathan gave the letter back to Lucas. "I'm going to tell Haley once we get our results back."
Lucas nodded back and stuffed the envelope back inside his jacket pocket.
. . . . . .
"Did you have fun?" Haley turned to her mom.
"I did and thank you for throwing me this party." Lydia hugged Haley as they sat in one of the booths. The party was starting to wind down and some of the guests had already left but a good number of people were still around and were content to just hang out.
"Well it wasn't just me. Karen helped out too and Lucas and Nathan did a lot of the heavy lifting."
"Lucas and Nathan." Lydia chuckled and rubbed Haley's belly. "You know I always knew you're kid was going to be a Scott."
"You did?"
"Yeah, but I thought it was going to be Lucas'." Lydia chuckled again.
"Eww mom, that's gross."
"Well, I got the Scott part right."
"Don't ever say that to Nathan." Haley playfully warned.
"I wouldn't dare." Lydia replied back. "I must say that I've been impressed with how Nathan's been handling the pregnancy. It's not easy taking care of a pregnant woman."
"No, it hasn't but Nathan has been amazing through out all this, well especially after we sorted everything out with our past and stuff."
"I have to admit that I really didn't want to like Nathan again. But as soon as I came back home and saw how he was around you, I knew then how much he loves you. I'm happy for you Haley-bub."
"Thank you mom." Haley replied. "It means a lot to me and to Nathan. We've been doing our best to move on from the past."
"And how's that going? I nearly gagged on my drink when I saw those pictures of Brooke and Nathan last week."
"Yeah I got a good laugh from that one." Haley admitted. "I knew those photos are false. First of all it's Brooke. Second of all, I trust Nathan. We've been open and honest to each other. I know we still have stuff to go through but we're doing our best. He told me that he's trying to get transferred to Charlotte to be closer to home. We've been talking a lot about the baby, you know. We're both excited and a little scared at the same time."
"Only natural as first time parents. You should've saw how me and your dad were when your brother was born. But like I said Haley, I'm happy for you.. for both of you." Lydia squeezed Haley's hand.
. . . . . .
Nathan two full trash bags to the dumpster in the back. He went back inside through the back entrance and washed his hands in the sink. Even though a couple of people left, they were still a good number of people inside but he wanted to get a heads up on cleaning so that way he and Haley could go home sooner. He dried his hands and went back to the front where he saw everyone was still chatting and enjoying themselves, including Haley.
It was then that he noticed the door leading up to the roof. Come to think of it, he'd never been back up there in a while and decided to steal himself a moment and to go upstairs. When he reached the top, he flipped on the lights and was a little sad to see the golf course that was here during their high school years was gone. But a couple of the Christmas lights were still around to light the place up. He glanced around and a ton of memories started coming to him.
He was so happy that his son was HCM free. It was one last worry for him and maybe one day, he and Haley can rebuild the golf course and have their son play in here. A life with Haley and his son, he smiled at the thought and reached inside his pocket and felt the small velvet box.
. . . . . .
"Haley watch…"
"Oh Luke, I'm so sorry!" Haley took a step back as the drink in her hand spilled all over Lucas. She was bringing some used glasses to the back of the café to get washed.
"It's okay." Lucas gave a tight smile. "This isn't the first time this happened."
"I know, I'm so sorry." Haley was red in embarrassment. "You know how a klutz I can be."
Haley put the glass down on a nearby counter top and reached for the paper towel and started to pad Lucas down.
"Hales, it's okay." Lucas took the paper towel from Haley. He looked down at himself and saw his jacket was mostly okay but the majority of the drink spilled on his shirt. Lucas removed his jacket and placed it on a nearby coat rack.
"I'm just going to go to the bathroom."
"I'm sorry." Haley repeated.
"Yeah, it's fine. And take it easy Hales, Nathan and I will take care of cleaning." Lucas waved off as he headed to the bathroom.
She wondered where Nathan had wondered off too tonight. She felt something odd about him tonight. Maybe it was all the people who were here and knew about their past, or the fact that Brooke and Nathan were in the same room and the recent tabloids were still on people's mind.
She took some dirty plates and cups and put them in the sink to soak. She turned to see a stain on Lucas' jacket that she made. She opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of club soda and a clean towel. She grabbed the jacket and put it over her shoulders before setting it down on a nearby table. It was then that she noticed an envelope drop from one of the inside pockets. She was about to put it back inside when she noticed that it was addressed to her and Nathan.
She found it odd that something with their names was being sent to Lucas' house. Then she saw the return address from her OBGYN. Maybe her doctor sent them a letter from the wrong address, she did use Lucas as an emergency contact. The letter was already open so she reached inside and took out the letter.
"Dear Mr. Scott and Ms. James,
Below is the result from the genetic testing you requested on your fetus. The test focused on the genes that encode for one of the sarcomere proteins. The results are negative and your baby does not have Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy (HCM). Since it was indicated that the father is a known carrier of the disease, it is highly recommended that Mr. Scott be tested if he has not done so already."
Haley was shocked. What was this? She continued to read the letter and it gave information about HCM and how it is genetic.
"Hales?" Lucas asked as he came back. He felt his stomach drop when he saw her reading something.
"What is this?" Haley held it up to his face.
"Haley, let me explain."
"NO Lucas, this letter pretty much explains it all." Haley looked down and read directly from the letter.
"HCM is a disease of the myrocardium and it is best perhaps most well known as a leading cause of sudden cardiac disease in young athletes. HCM is inherited as an autosomal dominant trait and is attributed to mutations in one of a number of genes."
Haley had tears streaming down her face. "And apparently, the office knew that the father of my child is a carrier. What is going on Lucas?"
"Haley, please calm down."
"Don't tell me to calm down."
"We were going to tell you."
"What?" Haley's eyes went wide. "What are you and Nathan been hiding from me?"
"Nothing Hales, Dan has HCM. It's the reason why he's dying.."
"Dan has a heart condition and you call that nothing?" Haley scrunched the letter up in her hands. "I expected more from you Lucas.. and from Nathan."
"Hales, we didn't want to worry you. I didn't want to worry you."
"Don't you dare make excuses." Haley pointed her finger at him. "Where's Nathan?"
"…"
"Where's Nathan?" Haley demanded.
"I thought I saw him go up on the roof."
With out another second, Haley stormed off and headed up stairs.
Lucas sighed and put his head down.
"What's going on?" Brooke came in. "We thought we heard you and Haley fighting?"
"There's something you should know." Lucas said softly.
. . . . . .
Nathan had his arms crossed over his chest as he looked out over the town. He forgot how peaceful and beautiful it was up here. He remembered after prom, going up here and dancing with Haley underneath the lights and stars.
He heard the door open and saw Haley walk in.
"I'm not trying to skimp out on my cleaning duties." He joked. "Being up here is like stepping back in time, do you remember when you first brought me here and .." His voice trailed off when he saw how upset she looked and the tear-streaked stain on her face.
"Hales, are you.." Nathan walked over to her but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Haley hold up the letter he read early this evening.
"I found it in your brother's jacket." Haley replied in as calm of a voice she can muster.
"Let me explain."
"This should be good and you're probably going to say that you were going to tell me."
"Yes, I was."
"Fuck Nathan!" Haley shook her head and Nathan winced at her words. Haley rarely cursed. "I thought we were passed this, I thought were done with the secrets and the lies."
"I wasn't trying to hide anything from you Hales. I was going to tell you."
"Are you okay?" Haley cut him off. "Do you have this HCM too?"
"I.. I don't know. I'm waiting for my results back."
"I don't know what you're trying to do to me Nathan. You and our son may have a potentially life threatening disease and you don't bother to tell me!"
"I wanted to tell you when I had all the facts. I didn't want to worry you. Dan has it which means that Lucas and I have a fifty percent chance of having it."
"And our son!" Haley cried out. "Why would you not tell me this?"
"Because I was freaking out too! Because I was scared and frightened and I didn't want you to go through that. I did my research, with all the regular testing they do on the fetus, they would've caught HCM but I wanted to double check."
"So not only did you lie to me but you had the doctor and Lucas too?"
"Haley, it wasn't like that. We all agreed it was best to not bring this up until we had all the facts in front of us."
"So now you're saying that Doctor Anderson recommended that you lie to me too?"
"Haley, be mad at me, you have every right but all that worry and stress isn't good for the baby. So we made the call not to tell you. I wasn't trying to hide things from you, I wanted to tell you. It's been killing me that I couldn't tell you but I couldn't." Nathan pleaded.
"I'm.. I'm sorry. I never meant to lie to you." Nathan added.
Haley looked away and stayed quiet for a couple of seconds. "How long have you known? About Dan, about the HCM?"
"Since the camping trip."
Haley let out a big sigh. "I knew something was bothering you. I looked you in the eye and asked you what it was and you straight up lied to my face!"
"I didn't lie Haley. I told you that I didn't want to talk about it and I meant it."
"But you still kept things from me and all this time you've kept it from me."
"I was trying to protect you."
"Like when you broke up with me and went to Maryland." Haley bit back.
"That was different."
"No, Nathan. It is the same thing." She pointed out. "You were trying to protect me. You made a choice for both of us and I didn't have a say."
"Haley, I was only trying to protect our son and unfortunately that meant hiding this from you. If you ask me if I am sorry then I am but I'll do it again Haley. The waiting, the gut wrenching feeling in the bottom of your stomach, I didn't want you to go through that while carrying our son. Can you please understand that?" Nathan pleaded.
Haley sniffled. "God Nathan, why do I feel like we're back to square one?"
"We're not Hales." Nathan moved closer and put his hands on her shoulders. He felt her tense up but he wasn't going to let her go.
"The baby might be okay but what about you? What about Lucas?" Haley cried out. She felt that gnawing feeling Nathan spoke about. It was making her sick with worry. If anything were to happen to Nathan, she didn't know what she would do. It was why she saw him after his accident.
"We're going to be fine Hales. No matter what the results come back with, we'll at least know and if we have it, we can deal with it and still live and long and healthy life. Look Hales, I'm sorry that I might have this disease. I'm sorry from hiding it from you. I never meant to hurt you."
"I know you're sorry." Haley said softly. "I know you don't want to hurt me but I need to know that you're going to be honest with me."
"I promise."
"I need to know if you're going to let me in Nathan.. all the way.."
"I will.. if that's what it takes. I'm promise, all the way."
Haley shook her head.
"Hales.."
Haley took a step back. "I don't know what's worse, the fact that you lied to me or how it easy it is for you to hide things from me."
"Haley it hasn't been easy on me. Not in the least." Nathan pleaded.
"All those times, I felt something wrong but I pushed it aside. I can't. I can't help feel that you're lying to me. That you're still lying to me."
"I'm not."
Haley looked down and paused. "When I walked in on you and Brooke earlier today, what was that about?" All those times she felt in her gut that something was off, she ignored it. When she saw Nathan and Brooke earlier, she felt something that same weird vibe and it didn't go unnoticed to her, the weird looks they've been giving each other. It was so easy for her to brush it off before but now, now she didn't know what to believe it.
Nathan hesitated. "Nothing, it was about that article last week. The watch I got from Brooke."
"See, you're doing it again Nathan. You gave me that same face when I asked you about the camping trip. You're pushing me away, you're not telling me something."
"Haley.."
"No, Nathan. This is it. No more lies. I can't deal with it. You told me you would let me in all the way, how can you even think of us being together if you're hiding things from me?"
"Haley, I'm asking you. Please don't." Nathan took her hands in his.
Haley pulled away. "No I'm serious Nathan. Not another lie from you. So if there's something going on with you and Brooke, you better tell me now."
"It's nothing bad, Haley. I promise."
Haley took a deep breath to calm herself down. This was Brooke after all. Her trust in Nathan may be in question but Brooke was different. Brooke has never given her a reason to not trust her.
"The only thing You and Brooke have in common is me. So that's what it was about?"
Nathan swallowed his throat. "Yes."
"If it's about throwing me a baby shower or something like that just please say yes and I wont ask any more Nathan but I can't. I can't live like you're hiding something from me." She said calmly.
"Brooke did mention a baby shower." Nathan replied softly.
Haley sighed in relief.
"Haley, I love you. I love you so much." He paused. This wasn't how he planned it but there was no point in turning back now. He has been lying to her and the lies stop tonight. What he had to say, he needed to say.
"All I've ever wanted was to be with you. Even when I said I didn't." Nathan took a step closer to her.
"When I said that I'll let you in Hales, I meant it. It's just that I'm afraid that if I do, you'll see the real me, the guy who I was before you. I'm not proud of that person but if I have to be that guy to keep you safe, then that's who I'm going to be. Look if you want me to apologize for defending you or fighting back when somebody hurts you then I can't do that. I won't do that okay because the truth is that's a guy I'll never be, the guy that just stands there and watched while the world hurts you.. now can you understand that?"
"I can't." Haley replied softly.
"Haley, you have to.."
"No, I meant that I can't keep standing here cuz I'm pregnant and those stairs were a killer.." She tried to joke "Cuz if there's more, I should sit down. But if you're done then just take me home. Everyone else can clean up, cuz I'm tired and I love you .. I love every version of you." There were so many emotions going through her right now. She was angry and hurt that he kept this from her but at the same time, she had to wonder if she were in his position, would she have done the same.
"Come here." Nathan took her in his arms and hugged her tight. He kissed the top of her forehead.
"But I need you to stand here for a minute longer." He pulled back.
"Huh?"
"You were right, about Brooke. There was something." Nathan took a deep breath and Haley looked at him curiously.
"Do you remember the first time we were on top of this roof ? It was the first time I found out that you were actually good at a sport. And the only reason I'm calling it a sport is because you insisted that it is." He smiled and Haley couldn't help but smile back.
"I thought I had you figured out, that I knew you but that night when you kicked my ass, you surprised me. Just when I thought I have you figured out, you just keep on surprising. Every day with you there's something I learn and love about you and if it takes a lifetime to finally figure you all out, then that's what I want to do."
Haley looked at him curiously.
"I didn't want to screw up so I asked for a girl's opinion from Brooke." Nathan tried to joke as he took out a small velvet box.
Haley inwardly gasped, this could not be happening but it was as she saw Nathan go down on one knee.
"Haley, I love you. I've always loved you.." Nathan was about to open the box when Haley stopped him.
"Wait."
"I know, it's a bit sudden." He tried to laugh. "But after everything with Dan and the HCM and even if I have it, it doesn't matter, none of it matters if I don't have you." Nathan looked up into her tear stricken eyes. "You and my son are my family Hales and when I told you that I could love you forever, I meant it." Nathan was about to open the box once more.
"Nathan don't!" Haley interrupted and took a couple of steps back. "Don't ask me, what I think you're going to ask me?"
"What? Why?" Nathan was baffled as he stood up and walked over to her.
"…Because I don't want to hurt you." She said softly.
No, this couldn't be happening. Nathan thought to himself. "I don't believe you." Nathan replied and stepped closer to her.
"Nathan please, don't." Haley pleaded and tried to look away but Nathan used his free to gently cup Haley's chin and their eyes locked. His cobalt blue stared deeply into her deep brown.
"Will you spend the rest of your life with me? Will you marry me?" He asked.
Haley let a single tear fall and she felt her hands tremble.
"No."
Nathan's hand fell from her face and he let the box fall down on the ground. It took him a moment to realize what she actually said and it took him another moment to realize that she had actually said no to him… twice.
To Be Continued . . . .