"When I was a kid, I used to wish some stranger would come and tell me my family wasn't really my family. They weren't bad people, they were just... insignificant. And I wanted to be different. Special. I wanted to change. A new name; a new life. The watchmaker's son... tick... became a watchmaker. It is so futile. And I wanted to be... important."

-Sylar to Chandra Suresh

Maybe he did want to be special but what was so wrong with that? Having grown up with an overbearing mother who constantly forced the notion that he had to be special that he would be special, it eventually stuck. And then the day came when he found himself a watchmaker. A simple watchmaker, nothing fascinating, exhilarating; nothing special. He didn't live up to expectations. And so the frustration with his life grew.

Maybe he did become a serial killer in his quest to be 'special' but he wasn't completely at fault. After discovering that he might have a power, the feeling of elation came-along with something else. The hunger. The hunger for more power. The need to have even more abilities, to finally prove his worth to his mother. It was something he couldn't control, something that would only subside after he killed others for their abilities. But even after his first victim, Brian Davis, the hunger wasn't satisfied. It grew until he knew nothing else. He had to aquire more abilities and if he so happened to become a sociopath on his quest for power, so be it. Consequently, he changed his common name of Gabriel Gray to Sylar and set forth on his murderous rampage.

Maybe he is manipulative even though there are explanations for it. He has no faith in most people, he can't trust them. He has been betrayed enough times in the past to know that they'll just let him down. So instead of being up front he sets up webs of lies and deciet to hide behind.

Maybe he did envy Peter Petrelli simply because he could. Peter Petrelli had his life. A family that supported him, that didn't force him to be anything less than he wanted to be. Peter had been hospice nurse in a family of politicians and well-known businessmen. While it may not have had been his families desire, they had accepted it. They had accepted him. Peter Petrelli didn't have to slice open people's skulls to gain abilities. He didn't have to kill to be 'special'. Peter Petrelli had a life.

Maybe he does want a friend but was that really so bad? After gaining Claire's power he realized he was immortal. Unless strange circumstances intervened he would never die. That was the ultimate 'special' for him. But Hiro's words strayed in his mind. "It means that you will collect a lot of powers. You will kill many people. You will become strong. The strongest of them all. But in the end, it won't make any difference. We all gather to stop you. You're alone. No one will mourn your death. No one will shed a tear. No one. I wish I could change fate, but you must go on your path." If he died no one would care. If he lived he would spend eternity alone. He contemplated the idea and had an epiphany; he had no one. He would die alone or live alone and as much as he liked to distance himself from others who would ultimately let him down he knew he had to make a connection with someone. He needed a friend.

Maybe he did fall for Elle Bishop but that had been unavoidable. She had swooped into his life at his most desperate of times; just as he was attempting to hang himself in his shop. She had saved him like some sort of guardian angel and had stayed by his side until he came to his senses, claiming that a broken watch was her reason to have had been there. The next day she had stopped by with a pie and they had connected. She had understood his abilities and had been the only thing that blocked out the hunger from his mind. But it had all been a ploy. A plot from the Company to get him to use his abilities to murder so that they could monitor him. Her actions caused him to give into the hunger, to truly become a serial killer. And yet somewhere deep inside he knew he wanted to see her again. Whether it would be Gabriel Gray who wanted to be with her again or Sylar who wanted to kill her for what she did, he knew he would meet her again one day.

I've wanted to do so much with my life and instead I've lost so much. From my mother who I accidently killed to my humanity which still struggles to cling to me. I sometimes wish I could go back in time and change certain events but then the hunger takes over and I'm consumed with killing Hiro for his power to manipulate time and space. You could consider me an anti-hero because in truth I know I'll never be a hero as much as I know I'll never marry Elle Bishop. Maybe.

"Mom — Mom, don't. Don't, it's just... maybe I don't have to be special. That's okay to just be a normal watchmaker. Can't you just tell me that's enough?"

-Sylar to Virginia

Author's Note: I had originally intended this to be just an Elle one-shot but I decided to add a part for Sylar too. I hope you enjoy it!