Omg I'm soooo sorry for not updating! This is a very long chapter, just cause I've ignored this story for too long now.
Writers block is a bitch :|
Any way….lots of thanks to Zombies Run This Town for reviewing every chapter in…like 30 mins.
Thanks to everyone's reviews and alerts and favourites. It's my dad's bday…maybe we can get more reviews?! PLEASE?! Haha thanksss.
Oh yeh! I nearly forgot, but I have recently discovered I have Russian ancestors which I never knew about, so I'ma introduce every chapter in Russian.
Hehe….
Na zdarOv'ye!
[Enjoy!]
Disappointment
Hysterical sobs escaped my throat before I broke down and just sat there, crying. Crying for Sarah. Crying for my anger. Crying for my hurt. I sat there for hours just crying, and even after all that time, my tears still hadn't slowed, nor had they quietened. I lay down with the picture cradled to my chest, and fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.
For now.
EPOV
After Bella stormed out of the cafeteria I was left in shock. Don't get me wrong, I'm pissed, furious, that anyone would say that to Tanya, I think, but the fact that someone could say that was astounding. As I made my way over to History after nearly 10 minutes of Tanya ranting and raving about the emo skank I noticed a tall, dark guy staring intently at me.
New kids. I thought to myself as I walked past his ridiculously tall frame and entered the class room. Miss Cramn wasn't in just yet and only a few students were in the class. Bella Swan being one of them.
As I walked up to her slouching figure I heard her mumble something about smelling bullshit. Being the cocky jackass I am, I replied with a short reply. She didn't turn around but still managed to blow my ego. Just a little bit.
Without thinking about my actions, once again, I reached out for her wrist and quickly clasped my fingers around her too skinny wrist. Was she not eating?
"I thought I told you too not touch me." She spat at me. Everyone was entering the class now and I saw the tall native boy from earlier enter, staring at me. No, not me, Bella.
"Yeah you did. But you just called my girlfriend a skank and that doesn't do well for you." I spat back with the same amount of level. Bella's expression in her eyes turned from pure hatred to complete shock. They were such dull eyes. I couldn't stand looking at her, and her pathetic face so I just spun on my heels and sat down in my desk.
Just then Jasper (AN YAY!!! JASPER!!) came to sit down in his usual seat next to me. I was still rigid with anger, and he noticed.
Blowing the air out of his teeth he spoke up.
"Jeez Edward, you look like a fucking cannibal man. Chill out. Have you seen the new kid? Major freak." He laughed. It was just then I realised Miss Cramn had come back into the class and calling attention. Next to her stood the new kid. Jacob she called him. I instantly disliked him. Miss Cramn was looking for a desk for him to share, but unlucky for him the only seat left was Bella's which was back one row and across from mine. Or not unlucky, I thought as he strolled towards her with a easy smile on his face.
There were many laughs and snickers throughout the class as they saw him sit down, but Bella gave them all a glare and they turned back to their partners.
"Jasmine said she sat next to him in Bio 4 and he was a total slacker." Someone nearby said to their partner.
"Oh M G he's hot! Not as hot as Cullen of course, but…damn. Calvin likey!" Calvin, the biggest fag in the school exclaimed. Calvin came out of the closet in freshman year and has therefore admitted to being in love with me, never failing to show up in every one of my classes each year. Apart from Jess, Tanya, Lauren and Angela, he was the biggest fan in my club.
I looked at Jasper and immediately relaxed. Jasper was my best friend. We met back in grade 2. He ran up to me and Alice and told her she had cool hair then offered me an Oreo. Because I was a bastard, even in year two, I ditched hanging out with Alice to be with Jasper that year. Later discovering I could have a good relationship with my sister and still have a best friend.
Jasper and I have done everything together. We went through the skating period, the surfing period, even the awkward talk about how to use contraception and safe sex with mine and his parents together. Together me and Jasper ruled the school. He was a complete fag sometimes, but he's still my best friend.
I laughed and we began chatting about our newest hook ups and fan club members.
Class passed quickly, with me throwing glances at the new kid every 5 minutes. Each time being greeted by a intense stare from him and a hostile glare from her.
I didn't know why she hated me so much, now, when she hadn't even realised I was the one who killed that girl she used to hang out with. Sasha..? No Sarah. Sarah her name was, I think.
Class ended and Bella said something to the new kid which made his jaw drop and his pencil to fall on the ground, before rushing out of the class.
Next thing I knew New Kid came over to me.
"What do you want?" I sighed impatiently.
"Well, I noticed you and um…" He trailed off
"Isabella?" I answered for him, understanding who he was referring to.
"Oh ok…Well you and Isabella were close so I was going to ask you what happened—"
He didn't get to finish his sentence as I cut him off
"We are not close. She's a fucking dog." I blurted out, before I could edit my words.
What? It's true. She may have lost a friend, but like Tanya said, we don't give a shit about her.
He just looked at me strangely before walking out the class. I glared at his retreating back and then turned to Jasper.
He was staring at me oddly and then turned shaking his head slightly.
"What?" I growled at him.
"That's harsh man." Thinking he somehow saw what I was thinking, I looked up at the poster above his head. It was some random chart about the civil rights movement,
"Seriously, she's a fucking depressive now man. Don't lay all that on the new kid." He mock punched my shoulder.
"Ooh, has Jasper got a man crush?" I joked in a bittersweet voice.
"Fuck no, he's a goddamn mongrel." He replied in a scary tone. Well scary for anyone who didn't hear the layer of humour under those words.
Me and Jasper packed up and made our way to the next class. Whistling at some of the girls passing us by as they threw us flirtatious smiles and winks, signalling for us to give them a call. Poor girls will be sitting by the phone for days on end, just waiting for one of us to give the unlucky slut a ring.
The next period we had was gym, and me and Jasper just went out with a soccer ball and just kicked it around a few.
My brother Emmett came over to us.
Unlike Alice, who was a year younger, Emmett took no interest in his studies.
Esme and Carlisle adopted Emmett 7 years ago, when his parents died in a house fire.
Even though Emmett was depressed for about 2 years, he was the most eccentric of all of us.
He was just a good mate that lived at my house 24/7 and called my parents by first name and slept in the room next to mine, every night. He was part of mine and Jaspers little group, and sleeping around with Jaspers sister Rosalie.
Even though Emmett said they were just friends with benefits, you could tell there was a strong connection between the two. Though neither of them would agree to it.
We talked and joked all period, kicking the ball between us and then going to watch the cheerleaders practise. After they finished, Tanya walked over to me. There was definitely a lot of pluses about being with the head cheerleader. Our relationship is on and off, and I see her every week flaunting her tongue action with hopeless jocks strutting the hallway. Just as she see's me each week with a new desperate skank.
"Hey babe." She greeted before pulling me into a quick, heavy kiss. I pushed her against the wall as her legs straddled mine and I lengthened the hook, until I felt heavy hands on my back pulling me away.
"Thanks for the PSA man. Just what I always wanted for Christmas." Emmett joked with heavy sarcasm. I wiped my mouth and smirked, while we walked off to our cars.
I got to my car just as I saw New Kid climbing into a piece of shit Toyota Corolla and pulling out of the lot. As he made a huge U-turn I saw him heading off in a different direction.
"Hey, check it. New Kid forgot how to get home." I laughed as I pointed him out to my mates.
"Ah, no, Edward, he's gone to find Bella." Alice told me with heavy venom.
This piece of news shocked me. You'd think Jacob would be cowering away from Bella with the glares she was giving him in history today.
"What do you mean?" I asked her. I tried to disguise the burning curiosity in my voice, but she wasn't fooled.
"Well, he asked me what way she walks home, so I told him. He wanted to talk to her desperately. Poor kid…"
Tanya heard this last bit, distracted from her nails and demanded Alice to tell her where Bella was.
Alice was reluctant at first but pointed out where she was headed.
Without realising what was happening, I watched storm off in that direction.
"Shit brother, you better go after her…" Alice told me, regret filling her features.
I then understood what Tanya was planning to do. I wouldn't stop her, but to please Alice I jogged after her quickly retreating figure.
We passed New Kid in his shitbox as he sped off.
"Tanya! Babe, slow down!" I shouted after Tanya. Who knew anyone could move so fast in heels that big.
"No! I'm going to kill her! ARGH! FUCK" She screeched.
I could see Bella a few houses down, and her body turned around to come face to face with Tanya. I stayed back a bit, trying desperately not to get in the way.
Bella smiled and sighed
"What took you so long?" She laced her voice in child innocence as Tanya fumed.
"I'll kill you! Bitch, I'm gonna kill you! Then I'll get Daddy to sue your whole family, you-you-you…you EMO!" She screamed, struggling for an insult.
Bella had an amused expression on her face, and I could see she was holding back laughter.
"Gosh I'm insulted Tanya. Am I not big enough in your life for you to find a proper insult?" She mocked hurt and shock in her expression.
Tanya screamed, so loud that dogs started barking near by.
"Look Tanya, you may kill me, but it's never gonna change the fact that you're a skanky whore who everyone hates. Besides you will most likely break a nail if you fight me, and we don't want that do we?" I tried to hide my laughter at her last statement. Bella's head snapped towards me and she glared icily at me.
I tried to disguise my chuckles as coughs, but Bella wasn't fooled. I can't say the same for Tanya though.
"You brought Cullen to do your dirty work?" She scoffed with a look of disbelief on her features.
"Why not? He cleaned off your other skank." This wasn't good…
"What do you mean 'cleaned off'?" She asked, suspicion and confusion dripping from her words.
"Well it didn't take much for him to kill your 'friend' what's it gonna take for him to kill you?" Tanya rattled off, unaware of the trouble she was about to bring me.
"What?" She murmured, looking up at me. I acted quickly grabbing hold of Tanya's wrist and pulling her slightly.
"C'mon baby, leave this for another time. We need to go back to mine and study…"
"No. What does she mean you killed my friend?!" Bella spoke directly to me. I looked away quickly and continued to pull Tanya towards me, not wanting to speak up.
Luckily Tanya did for me.
"Oh for Christ sakes, how dumb are you really Isabell?!" She scoffed. I didn't bother to mention that her name was Isabella. Looks like Bella had the same idea.
Really, it doesn't take a genius to figure this out. Don't you know Eddie was the one who crashed into your car? God, do you suffer from memory loss as well?" She spoke fiercely, not noticing the blank look that had made its way onto Bella's face. Suddenly Bella collected herself and the blank expression left her face, replaced by one of pure anger. She pushed Tanya away from her and walked over to me.
"What!? Tell me it's not true!" She shouted at me, her hands shaking with rage.
To say I wasn't scared would be a lie, but like I would admit that to anyone. I started to back away but Bella was one step ahead of me. I mumbled quietly that Tanya was right.
I never thought so much fury could fill one person, but obviously I was wrong. If I thought Bella's expression before was hostile, then now it was murderous. I was terrified, to say the least.
"You fucking JERK! How DARE YOU! YOU ARSEHOLE! Oh my god, oh my god. You KILLED HER!" She screamed at me. Her whole body now shaking.
I tried to back away but she was too quick. Suddenly she had me in a death grip and pushed up against the wall, her grip like an iron cage. I was furious. How could I be weaker than this stupid dog?
"You're a crazy bitch! Let me go you psychopathic whore!" I screamed. I was getting seriously aggravated now.
"Fuck you! I hope you fucking die you son of a bitch! ARGH!" She screamed, puling me back a tiny bit then slamming me into the wall again. She finally released her death grip and just stood there, shaking. I fell to the floor, and spat out the blood that had collected in my mouth onto the pavement. I tried to stand up but could only crouch.
"You bitch, don't even touch me again. You're mental!" I shouted up at her, spitting out more blood and rubbing a sore spot on my head.
"Go to hell." She spoke quietly for the first time, but I'd never heard so much venom in her words. Then she ran. Just disappeared. I heard her distant shriek a few moments later, followed by another one. I just crouch there on the floor, spitting out more blood every few seconds. Tanya got up and walked over to me.
"Baby, look. She totally hurt my elbow!" She shrieked, with a small pout on her lips.
"I don't give a fuck. I'm going home. Shit." I spoke, picking myself up and tripping over something on the floor. I looked down and saw Bella's bag laying on the floor. In a moment of insight I picked it up then walked off to the school, leaving Tanya there just gaping at me. When I got to the school, my car was the only one left along with a few others. Climbing in, I let a stream of profanities slip from my mouth as I stuck the key in ignition and pulled out.
I arrived home a few minutes later after my 'maniac' driving, or so Rosalie tells me. I was still furious with Bella. With myself. I stormed through the door and through my keys down on the bench. Straight away Alice came out of the living room.
"Where the hell have you been?! I called you 7 times!—" She cut off her sentence when she saw me.
"Holy fuck, Edward! You look you've been gang banged!" She exclaimed and ran over to me, running her fingers over the gash on my head. "You need something to stop this bleeding." She told me, professionally. Growing up with a cardiovascular surgeon as a father definitely impacted our knowledge on all things medical.
Alice walked into the kitchen and quickly returned with a towel and first aid box.
"What happened?" She mumbled, wiping away all the dried up blood.
"Your crazy arse, psychopathic, bitch of a friend Bella is what happened." I snapped at her before dodging her hand and running up the stairs to my room.
"Yo Eddie!" Emmett called as I walked past his door. There was some girl who I recognised from my trigonometry class sitting on Emmett's bed with two buttons on her shirt unbuttoned. She blushed and smiled at me.
"Hi Edward." She winked at me, noticing me enter the next room.
Hasn't Emmett learnt by now to shut his goddamn door? I remembered the bag in my hands and threw it down by my wardrobe. I sat down on my bed and turned on my stereo system. Suddenly Wyclef Jean blared around my walls. I groaned and mentally cursed Alice for messing with my system. Hitting the next button on the remote I was instead filled with the calming music of John Mayer (AN I just had to do it :)) I kicked my shoes off and lay back down on my pillows. I didn't regret saying anything I did, but shit, my head hurt like hell. I went over today several times before drifting off into a deep and dreamless sleep.
~*~*~*~
It had been two days since Bella ran off into nowhere and no-one had heard or seen anything of her. Friday was a pretty uneventful day, aside from the worried glances from the girls. Tanya had spread around that Bella was an out of control psychopath, giving me slight head trauma and pushing Tanya in front of a coming car, endangering her life and mine. Of course this was ridiculous, apart from the psychopathic bit, but by the time it had spread around school and come back to me, apparently Bella had tried to slash my throat with a knife but I had held her off, and now she was in rehab? It was stupid and far from the truth, but I couldn't be bothered setting them right. Now it was Saturday and I was waiting fro Alice to get ready. We were going to Tyler's party tonight in Port Angeles. I had been ready fro nearly 3 hours now, and I was waiting with Jasper downstairs.
The numerous times I called up to Alice to tell her to hurry up, we're gonna be late, she replied with a simple "It's called fashionably late, dork" Jasper just laughed at my attempts to speed her up, but after about an hour he started calling up too.
After another excruciatingly boring hour Alice decided she was good enough and we all jumped in Alice's Cobra.
The party was dull and boring and I was being chatted up by skanky girls in the smallest outfits all night. At about 12 we decided to leave.
The drive home was very quiet. Alice hadn't talked to me properly since I told her about Bella. I shuddered as I replayed that conversation.
Dinner that night was…interesting. Carlisle and Esme were particularly worried about what happened to me, but I didn't feel like saying I got bashed up by a weak girl. I'm a guy. What do you expect? Anyway after dinner I was sitting in my room playing with a baseball as Alice entered my room.
"Knock knock, brother of mine." She laughed as she sat on my bed. "So…you gonna tell me what happened today?" She asked. Way to cut the crap.
"I told you. Bella happened." I sighed. I was still fuming about earlier and in no particularly good mood.
Alice sighed, "Yes we covered that. But what exactly happened?" The weak undertone of her voice made me give in and I began my story.
"You know how I went after Tanya?" She nodded,
"Well I caught up to her as she was getting in Bella's face about what happened at lunch—" I was interrupted by Alice's chuckle, no doubt remembering that dramatic lunch. I glared at her and she shut up. "Sorry," She answered.
"Yeah well long story short, Tanya threatened Bella with a death threat. Saying I was capable of killing her since I killed her friend.—" I was cut off once again by Alice's gasp. "Oh no…please don't tell me what I think happened, happened…"she mumbled, a look of horror adorning her petite face.
"Yeah well, I think I know what you mean, and I'm 100 per cent sure that's what happened." Alice gasped, once again.
"So anyway Bella got all disbelieving and shit and demanded me I tell her the truth. So I did. And she went all crazy and started spitting in my face and slamming me against a brick wall. She was murderous. So eventually she dropped me—that girl has strength—and then just ran off." Alice looked spaced out and I had to call her name a few times before she looked at me and then punched my chest.
"Why the hell would you do that Edward?! You should have known she was fragile as is. She doesn't need you flaunting it that you're her best friend's murderer!" She shouted. Emmett banged on my wall, shouting out for Alice to shut her 'pixie gob'.
"Ow. What Alice? She asked for the truth, and I told her. You're looking too far into this then you should.
"Edward. How can you be so stupid? Look at it this way," She scolded me, "If someone killed Jasper how would you react?" She questioned.
Without thinking through my answer I just blurted out what I was thinking.
"I'd kill them." Quick and simple answer.
"So give Bella a little justice. Of course she's going to hate you Edward. Do you know today in the bathrooms I saw Bella scratching her wrists furiously. You could just barely see the thin scars on the inside of her wrists. She hated you already, for everything you put her through, then you had to go saying you're the reason she tried to take her own life?! Really Edward, I don't feel I know you anymore."
And with that she got off my bed and walked out of my room. She was acting stupidly. I didn't flaunt anything. All I did was tell her what she wanted to hear and ended up spitting blood out onto the pavement for 5 minutes.
It was probably just a girl thing.
After that night Alice had avoided me as much as possible, always throwing me disapproving glances whenever I passed her in the halls, and locked herself away in her room all day.
As we arrived home and I saw Tanya's car parked a few streets on and the light on in my room I smiled to myself and forgot all about Alice and Bella and the new kid. Tonight it would be about me.
BPOV (AN this is a seriously long chapter…8 pages already! GASP!)
I had no sense of how much time I had been in these woods, just wondering, but I didn't really care. I was improving. Going to school helped my social interaction, even if it was punching people and insulting people, but it was still an improvement. Then Tanya and Edward came and ruined every detail of humanity and sanity I had tried to hold on to. I felt sick all the time, and was sick nearly once every hour. But nothing could get rid of the aching hole in my chest. I found it hard to breathe, and continuously tripped and stumbled over nothing. I was completely dried up of tears by now, but that didn't stop the misery from leaking into every pore of my being.
I had been in these woods for three nights now, and each night I would curl up into a small ball near a big oak tree and drift off into the worst sleep I've ever had.
It wasn't that my sleep was restless, or interrupted, but the nightmares that haunted my mind were horrifying. It was just nothingness. The whole world was hollow and I found myself struggling for breath.
There was a point where I would fall down onto the forest floor in my dreams, and grab my throat. There were phantom hands grabbing me and twisting me as I scream out in pain. But no noise would emit from my grimacing mouth and the hands would creep to my throat until I could not breathe at all. Everything would go faint and my vision would start to blur and I could see someone standing in the distance, watching me. They wouldn't do anything to help, just stand there. Watching the phantom hands choke me to death. And as I fall into the earth and everything goes black I would wake up and find myself with tears streaming my face and gasping for air.
This would happen several times a night and in the end I just had enough. I kept on trekking through this endless forest and soon found myself at a small lagoon.
The ocean opened up in front of me, and the grey storm clouds would shadow me above. I waded through the water, my shoes completely forgotten about on the shore, and just kept drifting through the water. That night I fell asleep by an ancient piece of driftwood and fell into the same nightmare.
Except this time I could hear the distant sound of crashing waves, and the person standing in the distance just turned around and dived off a cliff. I tried to reach for them but the phantom hands were pulling me back.
I awoke with a start and for the fourth time, I watched the moon disappear and the sun rise, too scared to sleep.
And I made a promise to myself. Tomorrow I would go home.
If I could find wherever home is.
Wow…very depressing ending don't you think?
I know you probably all hate me for making this depression carry on in so many chapters but try understand, Bella's misery is beyond deep, because she is past the point of trying to take her life because she knows how pathetic it is, and is angered at herself for not trying to end this era of depression.
But never you worry.
Anyway, I got a lot of reviews saying they wanted Edwrad to be hurt, badly. So I took the justice of adding some things in this chapter that Bella was too distracted to notice. Like Edward spitting out blood and suffering from head trauma
Anyway… What'd you think of Alice's reaction?
Or the introduction of Jasper?
Or maybe…just maybe… Any thoughts on Calvin? Edward's gay stalker.
Also nothing against gays. My best mate, Ruki (his real name is Rukuara Kavakuah) is gay, and I love him. Also Edward is total PRICK in this chapter. But it's alllll part of the plan.
Hehehe
Please review!
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Please.
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