A/N- Hi! Thanks again for the reviews! I've already thanked everyone individually but thought I would mention it here again! I can't believe we've reached over 110 reviews already!

Just in case people were wondering – I've finished the outline, and if it all goes to plan there will be 35 chapters including the epilogue. It won't be any less then that, and may end up being even more, depending on how it all goes. So yeah, this isn't going to be a short story, but there and again there's no way this plot can be rushed. I just hope you all stick around for it!

This is quite a quick update, but it will be a while until the next chapter. I worked hard to get this done, because I'm going away early Sunday morning until next Friday. I'm going on holiday with my best friend to Paris, so yeah… there will be time for writing out there! When I get back I'll work as hard as I can to get an update out when I get back, but it may be a couple of weeks away. I'm aiming for it to be on the 22nd though, so look out for it from then!

This chapter is a bit more emotional, but I hope you all like it. Please review and let me know if you did!

"And I don't know,
This could break my heart or save me.
Nothing's real, until you let go completely,
So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving,
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me.

Three months and I'm still sober,
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers.
But I know it's never really over…

And I don't know I could crash and burn but maybe,
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me.
So I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right,
No comparing, second guessing, no not this time."
~ Sober, Kelly Clarkson.

To Wish Impossible Things.
Chapter Nine.

Isabella Swan. September 2006.

It was now the 23rd of September and rapidly nearing October – so in other words, nearly three months since I'd been told my diagnosis.

Three months… and I had barely even begun accepting my fate.

But wow… had things changed in that time. Just twelve weeks ago I was alone, scared, writing my list of all the things I wanted to achieve in my final year. I told myself I was going to achieve all of them, but deep down I didn't know if I was being true to myself… I didn't know how things were going to go, or how soon I would become really sick.

I never in a million years thought that I would be feeling really healthy and the happiest I had ever been. I knew it was probably going to change soon… but for now I was just having the time of my life.

The last week had been the big changer – ever since the night of my birthday where Edward had asked me out on the date. It was all I had thought about, even when I'd spent time with Jessica and Angela the day after.

We'd spent the day in Port Angeles, just the three of us, and although it was any girl's idea of a perfect day - shopping and lunch with her best friends - I couldn't help but feel like something was different in our dynamic. I couldn't help but notice the flaws in our friendship… and how it didn't seem like we all really fit together.

… And not to mention Jessica seemed a lot more vain then normal.

In the day I'd spent shopping with Alice she'd always been very helpful and complimentary about anything I tried on. But Jessica… well, lets just say I had to put up with comments about how the clothes didn't help flatter my pale skin or thin frame. Things that she knew were caused by years of having cancer wrecking havoc on my body.

Never once in my life have I ever looked for sympathy from anyone… but I couldn't help but feel that she could be a little nicer. Ever since I'd told her about my diagnosis, she'd never actually asked how I was doing or if I was okay.

And if it was the other way around, I know I would be deeply concerned for her, but it kind of seemed… like she didn't really care so much. In the past week or two she'd befriended a couple of other girls at the school, and she seemed to talk about them more then anything else to me and Angela.

Well… that's not entirely true. She talked about her new friends a lot, but she also talked about something else just as much, or should I say someone…

Edward.

It was getting quite difficult listening to her comments about how 'hot he is' and how 'they'll soon be together'. I knew it wasn't true… because I knew it was me he'd asked on the date, and I'd heard his comments about her the day I saw them talking in the hall. But it was still hard to hear nonetheless, because despite everything I was still a little insecure… I just couldn't see why he'd want me over her.

She was so much prettier and popular after all.

But there and again, Edward wasn't like that… he actually had real interests and liked proper conversations, which Jessica wasn't really a fan of. But still… I couldn't help but feel a little insecure as we stood side by side, showing Angela the dresses we were trying on. I couldn't help but notice how the colour only made me look sickly, while it flattered Jessica completely, and how the dress hung off of me, while it hugged Jessica's curves perfectly.

I may not feel sick… but I sure was beginning to look it, and Jessica made sure I knew it, which really stung – having your worst fears confirmed by someone who's supposed to be your friend was really difficult.

And not only that… but Angela never once came out and said anything about any of Jessica's comments like she normally does. She was very quiet – more then she normally was – and I couldn't help but think that something was wrong. But when I asked her, she just told me that everything was okay, leaving no room for argument.

I knew I had to tell them about me and Edward… but there never seemed to be the time to say it. In the end I just decided to tell them after the date, maybe on the Monday after it when I saw them at school. I'm sure Jessica would be okay with it… wouldn't she? She is my friend, so in theory she should be happy for me, knowing everything I'd been through?

Well, that was the theory anyway.

Overall, it was a slightly uncomfortable day, which I would have much rather spent with someone else, but despite everything it was nice to see Jessica and Angela – they'd been my friends for so long now.

But despite my faith that both of them did care, I couldn't help the sinking feeling I had. A big change was coming… I didn't know what it was, but I really feared it.

At least I was happy with the knowledge that I had the Cullen's, Charlie, and Jacob too. I had spent all of Sunday with him, and unlike the day before I'd had a really great time. I'd forgotten how easy it was to be around Jacob – he was so free spirited and fun loving that I found myself feeling the same way. All my worries disappeared… until we got to later on in the day where I knew I had to tell him about the cancer. His reaction surprised me… he was truly devastated, and we'd ended up crying together as he'd hugged me, refusing to let go.

I then spent a couple more hours with him, making sure he was okay, and wanted to stay even longer but he insisted on me going home to get some rest – I was feeling really tired by that point – and promised he would call me later on.

Which he did.

He told me he'd be there for me, and we'd made a vow to spend Sunday afternoons together just hanging out. I didn't see the harm in it… he was my friend and he really did care, so of course I wanted to spend time with him. I didn't think much else of it and I hoped Edward wouldn't either.

I didn't really know if Edward was the jealous type or not.

Anyway, after spending the day with Jacob the rest of the week passed quickly and soon enough it was my date with Edward. There are no words to describe how nervous I was beforehand… I was literally shaking with nerves, hoping that the night went okay. But when he arrived to pick me up, and smiled so sweetly when he saw me I felt all my nerves disappear.

This was Edward… he was kind and caring; there was no need to be afraid.

The whole night was wonderful… the restaurant he took me too was great, and made me laugh when I saw the name of it. We'd had a great time in each others company, but I still didn't know what to expect from him… but I soon found out his intentions on the way home.

He'd kissed me in the most romantic and tender way and then adorably asked me to be his girlfriend… I didn't even know that guys were like that anymore. It always seemed like they expected things from you, but Edward was different… in so many ways…

And I knew I was incredibly lucky to have met him… to have him.

I was planning to tell him the truth about my cancer this weekend… he had told me that he had somewhere he wanted to take me. Apparently it was somewhere secluded where we could be alone, so I knew it was a perfect opportunity. I had to tell him soon, I knew that. I just hoped he wouldn't hate me for leaving it this long.

I broke out of my thoughts as I arrived at school – it was Monday, just three days since mine and Edward's date. It was a nice day today… the clouds seemed light and not dark and depressing like they normally are. I secretly wished for some sunlight to come out this week… it had felt like ages since I had seen it and I longed for the feeling it bought when I felt it on my skin.

I got out of my truck slowly, deciding to listen to some music while I waited for Edward to arrive. So as I stood outside, I placed my bag on the seat and began rummaging around in it, looking for my I-Pod. I was focused on my task until I felt a gust of cold wind and someone suddenly behind me. I smiled as a pair of familiar arms wound around my waist, pulling my back against their chest.

"Hi," I smiled.

"Hello," Edward murmured, burying his face in my hair.

I snuggled against him for a moment, smiling when he gently nuzzled my neck, before turning around in his arms, desperate to see his face.

His expression was light and happy and his golden eyes were almost shining as he smiled down at me.

"How are you?" he asked me softly.

"I'm good," I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck, "how about you?"

"Oh, I'm great now," he grinned as he reached out and brushed some hair out of my face.

His lips were on mine then and I sighed into the kiss, loving this feeling… this feeling of being whole, of being complete. I threw myself into the kiss, moving my lips in perfect sync with his, feeling happy when I felt him smile.

We kissed for several more moments until it was necessary to break apart for air, and even then his lips didn't leave my skin – he kissed a trail down to my jaw before nuzzling his face back into my neck.

I thought I heard him murmur 'so warm' but I could have been imagining it, but there and again he did feel cold this morning. And coming to think about it, his skin always seemed a lot cooler then mine…

"Hmm… I wish we didn't have to go to school today," he murmured, his breath tickling my skin.

"Why's that?" I asked.

He moved so that his face was level with mine and wrapped his arms more securely round me. "Because I would rather spend the day with you," he admitted, smiling crookedly at me.

"I would too," I smiled, "but at least we have biology together… and we'll see each other after school."

I was going round his house to spend time with him and the family – I had been desperate to see Esme ever since I'd met her on my birthday, and I was also getting the chance to meet Carlisle today who I had wanted to meet for a while now.

"That's true," he smiled, "I'm looking forward to that. Are you sure you can't sit with us at lunch?"

"Sorry, but no, I wish I could though, but I need to tell my friends about us first," I told him sadly.

"I don't see what the problem is with telling them," he frowned.

I but my lip, uncomfortable talking about this - "Jessica's got a bit of a crush on you… it may be hard for her to accept that we're together," I explained.

"It doesn't matter what she thinks," he murmured, pulling me close again to kiss the top of my head.

"Hey, she has feelings too you know," I mumbled against his chest.

"You don't know the things she's thinking," He murmured more to himself then me. "But okay… I understand. I just wish you could sit with us because I would like to see you… and I know Alice would too."

"I would if I could, you know that," I whispered sadly.

"I know," he smiled at me, as he cupped my face in his hands.

He began leaning in towards me again, but the moment was ruined by the sound of the bell ringing, causing me to jump in surprise – had that much time passed already?

Edward sighed at the interruption, and I smiled at him, "guess we'd better get going, huh?"

"I guess so," he murmured.

I reluctantly untangled myself from his arms, and was about to head towards class, but he gently gripped my arm, turning me so I was looking at him.

"Bella, I…" he murmured, looking like he was debating telling me something or not, before shaking his head slightly. "You know how much you mean to me, don't you?"

I smiled at him softly, once again overwhelmed by him.

"I do," I whispered.

He smiled and leant down to kiss me quickly before grabbing my hand and leading me towards class. As we walked in, I caught a glance of curly brown hair that I knew belonged to Jessica and froze.

Just how much had she seen?

EBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEB

Unfortunately for me, the day passed at an unbelievably slow pace. I knew it was because I was excited about this afternoon and going to the Cullen's house – it always seemed like whenever you had something to look forward too, time would always go slower.

At least for me it did.

Classes were a little boring, and lunch was just… awkward… Angela was even quieter then she was that day in Port Angeles, and Jessica was too. She barely spoke a word, confirming my suspicions that she might have seen me and Edward, but I was too cowardly to ask her if that was what was wrong.

She only sat with us half the lunch before moving over to Lauren Mallory's table – and I noticed she suddenly became chattier when she was with them.

I was so nervous I could barely eat, so I gave up after a couple of bites of my sandwich and apple. I knew that it didn't matter – I could always eat later.

Luckily, biology was a lot more enjoyable… Mr. Banner set us all individual tasks to complete with our lab partner, which as geeky as it sounds – was a lot of fun. Just being in Edward's presence made me feel a lot happier… even though by that point I was feeling a little unwell.

I felt weak and shaky which made me feel unsteady on my feet, and like I could throw up any minute. I hid it from him though, desperately hoping it would pass.

Edward then walked me to my next class, kissing me on the forehead as he left, telling me he would meet me by my truck after school. I concentrated on the thought of that throughout my final class, and tried to push the sick feeling to the back of my mind.

But to no avail… if anything I just felt sicker as the rest of the day passed.

I made my way to my truck quickly when the final bell rang, eager to see Edward; however to my surprise it wasn't Edward waiting by my truck… but Jessica instead.

She was leaning against it, with her arms crossed and a furious expression on her face as she watched me approach. My thoughts were then confirmed… she had seen me and Edward. I felt the sick feeling intensify as I approached, knowing that this wasn't going to be pleasant.

"Hi," I whispered when I finally made it to the truck.

"Hello Bella," she spat, saying my name with malice in her voice.

I swallowed heavily, "are you okay?"

She looked at me angrily, "am I okay? Am I okay?" she nearly yelled, "Bella, tell me how I can be okay when I've just found out that my best friend is a liar?"

"I was going to tell you," I mumbled.

"When exactly? Before you and Edward officially got together? Oh wait, you've already done that haven't you?" she muttered sarcastically.

I leant against the truck for support – I felt like I was going to fall over any moment. I didn't reply to her comment… because I didn't have anything to say.

As my silence continued her expression suddenly turned from anger to hurt, "how could you? Out of all the guys in this school how could you go for the one you know I liked?"

I don't know what it was, but something about her comment irked me, "the one guy you liked? Oh, please! I know you like any guy here with two working legs," I spat sarcastically.

She recoiled slightly, clearly surprised that I was now arguing back, "Well yeah, that's true… but Edward's different, he's so much hotter…"

"He's not a piece of meat you know," I interrupted her angrily.

Her expression turned furious at my interruption, "Oh really? Don't tell me you haven't noticed how gorgeous he is, why else would you be with him?"

"Because he's thoughtful, he's intelligent… he's the nicest person I've ever met, and treats me like I'm actually special, unlike everyone else here," I explained to her, hoping she would actually begin to understand it a little.

But surprise surprise… she didn't.

"You really expect me to believe that crap?" she rolled her eyes.

"Yes," I nodded, not at all fazed. I knew what I was saying she true… she was the one who was twisting things.

She was silent for a moment, before her expression changed again, into a malicious one filled with pure hatred.

"He'll end up leaving you, you know," she murmured, "he'll want someone prettier and more interesting then you, just you wait."

Her words stung, but I was determined to not let her know that, "that's okay, it's not like I care anyway," I lied.

"Oh is that right?" she murmured, her expression turning into a smirk. She wasn't even looking at me right now – she was focused on something behind me, and as her expression turned even smugger, I suddenly found myself hating her. How dare she try and ruin this for me, after everything she knows I've been through!

I decided to lie once more so I could get her to go away before Edward got here – I knew my words wouldn't make sense because I had just told her how amazing he is, but right now I was desperate to just get her to leave. I just hoped she was stupid enough to believe what I was going to say next –

"It doesn't matter if I don't mean anything to him, because he means nothing to me. He's just a guy that's all, nothing to get worked up over. So go away Jess… I don't want to talk to you anymore," I told her.

"That's fine with me, I don't want to talk to you either," she muttered, "goodbye, Bella."

She then turned and walked away, leaving me alone. I sighed and leant back against the truck again, relieved to be alone for a moment to calm down. However, as everything became silent I realised I wasn't alone… I could hear unsteady breathing behind me and I felt dread sink into my system.

I turned around slowly - afraid to see who it was - and to my absolute horror it was Edward.

And by the look on his face… I knew he'd heard my comments. It was obvious he'd approached towards the end of the argument because that was when Jessica turned smug, looking behind me at something… someone.

I was so stupid!

I decided to break the silence so I could tell him the truth… that I was just lying to get Jessica off my back.

"Hi," I whispered.

His head was bowed but at my voice he lifted it up to look at me, "hello," he murmured sadly, before turning to walk away.

"Edward, wait!" I begged, chasing after him.

"Why should I?" he asked. His voice wasn't angry… it was broken, almost dead sounding. He suddenly stopped and turned to look at me, waiting for me to say something.

But suddenly the words wouldn't come out. "I… she…"

"There's no need to explain. I heard what you said," he interrupted me.

Upset at this horrible situation I felt my body begin to shake even more and my eyes fill with tears. I could barely even look at him – the expression his face was just too heartbreaking. It was full of so much shock and hurt, that just looking at him could send me to the floor in agony.

Agony because I knew that this was my fault… his pain was all my doing, no one else.

He sighed sadly, "I thought that this meant something to you," he murmured, gesturing between us.

"It does!" I insisted.

He was already shaking his head though, and to my horror, stepping away from me, "Then why did you say those things? Why did you say I meant nothing to you?"

"To get her to go away, Edward! That was the only reason!" I told him. "Please, Edward, can't you see how much I care about you?"

He shrugged, "I used to think you did… but now I'm not so sure."

I sighed sadly, the tears now pouring down my cheeks relentlessly. "Please believe me, Edward. I was lying when I said those things to her."

He raised his eyebrows, "Why were you lying though? Why couldn't you just tell her the truth?" he asked me.

"I… I don't know. I guess it's just because she's been my friend for so long," I replied.

"Oh come on, Bella, you really think that's how friends treat people? She's evil, Bella, and she only cares about herself." He murmured bitterly, "And I can see that her attitude is beginning to rub off on you a little bit."

"What?" I gasped, shocked at what he was suggesting. "Are you saying I only care about myself?"

He just shrugged, not saying anything.

"How dare you… I've always put other people before me. Always!" I yelled. "Yes, I may look out for myself sometimes, but that's only because no one else will! No one else cares about me! You know that my own mom left me right? Even she didn't give a damn!"

I was pretty much hysterical by this point, and I felt like I was going to be sick at any moment, but I wasn't going to give up. "I was just lying to her to get to her to go away, Edward. I can't stand being yelled at, so I got her to stop by telling her a lie. Only that worked out so great didn't it… because now instead of Jessica, it's you who's yelling at me - someone who's supposed to be my boyfriend who should always believe me when I say that I really do care!"

Edward was about to say something in response… but I never got to hear it. For in that moment, my stomach finally decided to give up, and I found myself falling to the floor as I heaved, throwing up the little contents I had in my stomach over the road.

I sobbed, as I suddenly felt horrendously unwell… I could barely even see straight through my tears and through the dizziness. Everything looked like it was spinning, and I was just about ready to throw myself fully to the floor and give up.

However, as I continued to heave and cough I suddenly felt someone wrap their arms around me, using one arm to hold me securely to make sure I didn't fall, while the other gently rubbed my back in soothing strokes.

Edward.

"Shh, its okay Bella, calm down." He murmured, "Please calm down sweetheart."

Eventually his ministrations worked and I found that my crying was slowing down and that I was beginning to get my breath back. Knowing I wasn't going to throw up anymore, I used to all my strength to move so I was no longer on my hands and knees, but in Edward's arms instead.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, while his wound around my back holding me tighter then he ever had before. He was shaking himself, but still held me so tightly that I felt so protected and safe.

I still felt horribly unwell… but just being in Edward's arms made me feel so much better.

When I finally had the strength to use my voice, I whispered, "I'm sorry, Edward."

"No, Bella, its me who should be sorry," he whispered, kissing all the way down the side of my face. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you."

"It's okay," I whispered.

He nodded, and continued to hold me tightly. The entire car lot was empty by now – everyone had just left, not paying attention to what had happened, but I was glad of that. I didn't need anyone else to witness everything that had just happened.

Edward held me for several moments, before starting to loosen his grip on me.

"No! Please don't go, Edward," I gasped, holding on to him, "I need you so much."

"I'm not going anywhere, love," he murmured, smiling at me, "I was just going to take you home."

"Oh, right," I blushed, embarrassed by my outburst.

He stood up but pulled me with him, and then lifted me into his arms, easily as if I weighed nothing. He held me tightly to him, with one hand around my back and one under my knees.

"We're okay right?" I asked him as he began walking towards my truck.

"Yes, we're okay," he replied, squeezing me tighter, "let's just forget about today, yes?"

"Yes please," I sighed, "instead of going to mine, can we just go back to your house?"

"Not today, we'll go tomorrow instead, but today you need to rest and feel better," he murmured, kissing my forehead, "what happened there, Bella?" he asked, referring to me throwing up.

"I don't know… I had been feeling sick all day and I guess I got a bit too upset," I half-lied.

"I'm sorry," he murmured again.

"It's not your fault," I whispered, "do you promise we'll go round your house tomorrow?"

"I promise," he told me gently as he lowered me into the passenger seat – luckily I hadn't bothered with locking my car door this morning knowing there was no point. It's not like anyone was going to steal it.

He was about to shut the door so he could walk around to the drivers side but hesitated, and then leant down so he was eye level with me.

"Bella?" he whispered.

"Yes?" I asked.

"You were wrong… when you said that no one gives a damn, and that no one will look out for you," he murmured, as he cupped my cheek in his hand, "because I do… and I will always look out for you."

I was speechless but managed to nod, hoping he would see how much his words meant just through my expression. I felt a lone tear fall down my cheek which he caught with his hand.

Today was just proof of how broken I was… I had literally fallen apart at the seams the first time I'd had a bit of drama in my life. But as quickly as he'd broken me, Edward had put me back together… he was saving me, and I didn't know if he fully realised it.

He smiled at me, and leant down to brush his lips across mine, kissing me softly almost as if he thought I could break at any second.

"You mean the world to me Edward… you really do," I whispered, wanting to express just some of my feelings out loud.

My words just made his smile even more beautiful though, showing me how much they meant to him. He leant forward once again, ready to kiss me, and against my lips he whispered - "Bella, you are my life now."

Next chapter preview (subject to change):

(Edward)

"What is it Alice, what's wrong?" I asked frantic.

She looked at me sadly, "I just had a vision," she whispered.

"What did you see? Is it Bella, is she okay?" I asked her, grasping onto her shoulders tightly. The panic was surging through me… there was no way Alice would look so horrified if it wasn't something really, really bad.

"I don't know," she shook her head frantically. She was shaking herself, "I saw you and her… and then you I saw you devastated. Something's wrong, Edward. Something's really wrong."

Come back for the next chapter, where the truth about Bella's illness begins to unravel as she begins to feel sicker, and Edward finally begins to suspect something's wrong… will he find out the truth though?

I know some people were expecting Jessica to get what's coming to her this chapter. It will happen soon I promise, and it will be worth the wait!

Anyway, hope you all liked this chapter. Please review!

Thanks for reading!