No one spoke, the family sitting in absolute silence as everyone stared at the two boys. Josh's hand was beginning to ache as Drake continued to squeeze it, but he made no move to pull away from his brother. He heard Drake's breathing, choppy and uneven, and hoped that Drake wasn't going to have a panic attack. Josh glanced sideways at Drake to find him staring at his backpack sitting on the floor, and he thought he had a good idea of what Drake was thinking about.

"Stop it," he said softly. "Don't even think about it." When Drake looked back at him, he seemed just as guilty as he did panicked. They both heard Walter clear his throat quietly, and they glanced back to where their three family members were still staring at them expectantly.

"Josh, I don't think I can do this," said Drake. "I don't... I mean, I can't..."

"Yes, you can," he reassured. "I'm right here. It's okay."

"Boys," said Audrey carefully, "not that I'm not glad to see you two aren't fighting anymore, but could you please tell us what's going on?" This was met by more silence, broken only by Drake's increasingly ragged breathing.

"Just tell us where you've been going all day," said Josh, "and we can get to the rest later, okay?" Drake nodded, but continued to stare down at the floor.

"The first few days, I really did go to school," he said, "I just ended up hiding out on the roof. I always made sure to come home and delete the messages saying I was truant, though. Sometimes... I would hide in Robbie's tree house, or I'd just go wandering around downtown, or sit in the park."

"Why?" asked Walter. "You didn't even really practice with your band?" They were all surprised, and it made sense—usually, Drake couldn't make it more than five days without practicing or playing somewhere with his band, and, often, even when he was grounded, certain exceptions were made for the sake of the band.

"No," answered Drake, "because I... I really just couldn't stand being around people, not when... Everybody expected me to be fine, to be normal, because nobody had a fucking clue what happened." Neither parent commented on his use of profanity, sensing that this time, they should just let it slide.

"What happened?" It was Megan who was finally brave enough to ask, and Drake inhaled shakily, then squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head.

"Josh, I can't," he said. "I can't do this." Before anyone could stop him, he let go of Josh's hand and ran upstairs. The family looked to Josh.

"Well, you obviously know what it is that's making him so upset," said Walter, "so why don't you just tell us?"

Josh sighed. "I don't really feel like it's my place to tell you," he said carefully, "but I don't think Drake ever would, so I guess... that means I have to. I... there's really no easy way to say this."

"Just tell us, Josh," snapped Megan, "so things can go back to normal." Josh let out a startled, bitter laugh.

"I'm sorry, Megan," he said, and this time he knew exactly what he was apologizing to her for, "but I really don't think things are ever really going to be 'normal' again. Do... do you remember that party Drake played at last Friday?" Josh waited until his parents nodded in confirmation. "That night, he..." He stopped, looking at Megan and wishing that there was some way not to tell her—she was too young to have to deal with something like this. He had no idea what it would do to her. He realized he was stalling. You've already managed to say it to one person, Josh reminded himself, thinking of Dr. Shore, now just tell them already.

"Drake was raped." Josh watched as what he'd just said sunk in for each of his family members, his mother's eyes going wide before she instinctively reached for Walter, whose own eyes were already filling up with tears. Megan looked shocked, and confused. Josh looked down at the floor as Audrey and Walter began to cry almost in unison. All at once, he noticed that went Drake left, he had taken his backpack, and he remembered that the bottle of pills was still inside of it.

"Damn it," he said, and quickly jumped up to go after him.

X X X

Josh couldn't get their bedroom door open, and he could tell that Drake hadn't just locked it, he was sitting up against it.

"Drake?" he called through the door. "Drake? Tell me you didn't do something stupid. Please."

"I didn't do something stupid." Drake's sullen voice was barely audible through the wooden door, but Josh sighed in relief.

"What's on your mind, brotha?" he said, sitting down and putting his own back against their door. Josh turned his head so that his ear was up against it, trying to hear Drake better.

"I didn't want to see how they'd look at me," admitted Drake after a moment. "I mean, it was bad enough when I told you. You looked so upset and angry, and I didn't... I don't want them to have to deal with this, and I don't want to have to deal with them dealing with this, you know?"

Josh was glad, then, that he'd had so much practice deciphering Drake's speech, because otherwise, he wouldn't have been able to follow that train of thought. "I know. But we all love you, Drake, and you shouldn't have to deal with this by yourself. You can't deal with this by yourself. It's gonna be hard for all of us, man, but we can get through it. Okay?"

"Yeah. Okay." Drake didn't sound entirely convinced, but neither was he panicking, so Josh decided to take it as a win.

"Can I come in now?" he asked, and he heard shuffling on the other side of the door. "WAH!" He found himself lying on his back, Drake having opened the door without giving him any warning. Drake laughed, and held out his hand to help Josh up.

"You're such a dork," he said.

"We can't all be as smooth as you," Josh said, rolling his eyes dramatically. "Um, do you want to go back downstairs? Or should I just go tell them that you're okay but you can't really talk right now?" Drake bit his lip.

"Come with me?" he asked hopefully. Josh nodded.

"Always," he promised. It's the least I can do after what I let happen to you. His heart sank as Drake stopped walking at stared at him, realizing he'd just said that out loud.

Damn it.