You begged, you got more. Tada: Feverish prt 2
"Eight."
Axel spun on his heel at the sound of his number to face the blue-haired scar-face he had been brought to this stupid Organization with. He didn't want to be a part of this anymore. Not without Roxas. But he had no choice in the matter, because when Roxas left he was given three choices: bring him back, kill him, or let him go and get turned into a Dusk. Even though he had nothing left to non-live for without his blonde friend… he didn't want to become an even lesser Nobody than he already was.
Being a Nobody was already a dishonor. Being a Nobody like Axel, an assassin, a traitor, a con-man, and an all-around asshole… that was even lower. But being a Dusk… a Nobody with absolutely nothing… more nothing than an Organization member had… that was rock-bottom. Not even Axel wanted that. He hated the way Dusks all looked the same, he liked having his appearance the way it was. He despised that Dusks had no identities, he liked having a name. It gave him a sense of being. Lesser Nobodies… Dusks… they didn't even have that. He would have no mind of his own. That was something he couldn't stand.
He was conceited about his intelligence and abilities. Being told he was useful gave him a reason to be smug. He was better than the Dusks. Even if it wasn't by much, he was still better than them… and that made even a low-non-life like him feel somewhat important.
"Yeah, Saïx. What do you want?"
"Don't speak to me in that tone. Seeing as you are alone, you either failed your mission or Thirteen is dead."
"I didn't fail, but Roxas isn't dead. I'm working on it. Give me some time."
"We don't have the LUXURY of time, Lea!" he paused to see if Axel would flinch at the use of his real name. He didn't. "If we wait any longer then he will be absorbed into the Keyblade Master and it will be too late! We need him to complete Kingdom Hearts!"
"Do we even NEED hearts at this point? What will we gain from them anyway? From what I recall…" he turned away and began walking toward his room, "…feeling wasn't so great. Emotions are overrated, Ïsa. Let it go."
Saïx chuckled evilly. "Get the job done or I'll kill him myself."
Axel froze in place. "I… I'm working on it, okay?"
"That's what I thought. You're so predictable, Lea. Stop acting like you have a heart. You said yourself that emotions are overrated."
The redhead lay in bed that night, staring at the ceiling. "You're right, Saïx. I don't have a heart. But I had one. And he left the castle not too long ago…"
Axel sighed, closing his eyes.
"I don't need Kingdom Hearts. I need Roxas. Roxas was my heart. And the Organization is telling me to repeat the same mistake I made ten years ago? I'm not ready or willing to destroy my heart. Not again. Not when doing so would make me go through this hell again… But who am I kidding? Roxas doesn't even remember me. What happened today wasn't because of our love… It was pure selfish desire."
He rolled onto his side.
"What am I trying to prove? With Roxas like this there's no way for me to somehow convince the Organization that a heart isn't just something you can get from that giant heart-moon-thing in the air. Why? Ventus…"
Axel shot up.
"Ventus? What does that have to do with anything?" he shook his head. "Damn it, Rox… maybe it would have been better if I never met you… I think it hurts the most when you get your heart back only to have it taken away again… and even worse when… when your heart is the one you love more than anything…"
He stood, putting his cloak and shoes on and opening a dark corridor.
"I can't leave it like this. I can't give up so soon."
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