Josh sat across from his father at the kitchen table, staring at the wood. Neither spoke for quite some time, the silence stretching between them until Josh began to fidget nervously—normally when his father was going to reprimand him, he was all blustering speeches and wild gesticulations, and so this long silence was more than a big disconcerting. Finally, Josh mustered up the courage to apologize, feeling that if he didn't begin this conversation, they could spend all night sitting mutely at the kitchen table, locked in some sort of stalemate.

"I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have said all of that stuff in front of Drake, but it's not like I knew you guys were going to walk through the door right then," he said. Josh bit the inside of his cheek as he failed to get a response from his father, and finally looked up.

Walter was staring at him intently, his eyes wet and his expression a strange mix of curiosity, confusion, and pain. "Dad?" said Josh tentatively. The older man shook his head briefly, then cleared his throat.

"Josh, you don't need to apologize for what you said—to me or to Drake," he told him gently. "You were defending Drake, and we understand. You may have to apologize to Mindy, though." Josh grimaced; the idea seemed repulsive due to his lingering anger, but he also knew that he probably would have to apologize to her.

"Yeah," he sighed. His father smiled at him, the same barely-there smile he'd been handing out to all of them the entire weekend. It disappeared quickly.

"What I'm most worried about is what you said about yourself," said Walter carefully. Josh felt like hitting his head against the table then, because he knew exactly what was coming, but settled for groaning and burying his face in his hands. "Josh, I just want to know why you would think this is your fault."

"Drake called me," he said, his coming out muffled but still intelligible as his hands remained firmly in front of his face. "Before and after it happened. I... he asked me to pick him up because he felt sick, but I blew him off because I was upset."

"About what?" asked Walter.

"I hated that we were fighting, and I was all set to forgive him and get things back to normal, but then I heard that he went to that party, and when he called me, I thought he was drunk and just wanted me to clean up his mess again," said Josh, finally allowing his hands to fall to his lap, although he didn't look up and kept his eyes firmly closed. "I didn't even pick up when he called back later—I didn't get that message until just this Friday, and he was so upset, he was crying and he all but told me in that message what had happened to him, and I hated that I could have stopped it by going to get him but I didn't."

There was another long pause before Walter spoke again. "Does Drake know that you feel this way?" Josh nodded.

"We talked about a lot of stuff on Friday night, including this," he admitted.

"What did he say?"

"That I shouldn't blame myself, that it wasn't my fault, that I didn't do anything wrong," Josh spat, "but I know I did."

"Josh, son," said Walter slowly, "this is not your fault. This is not Drake's fault. This isn't anyone's fault except for the man who chose to do this to Drake, okay?"

"I'm just so frustrated," Josh replied. "I want my brother back. I want him to be okay, I don't want him to be hurting."

"I know," answered his father, "I feel the same way—we all do. The fact is, though, that he is hurting, and all we can do now is try to help. And Josh?" He paused, waiting until Josh finally looked up to meet his eyes. "I know you help. You're his best friend—his brother—and the way you two love each other? I'm pretty sure that's going to help." Josh nodded, feeling somewhat mollified, but not entirely better. Walter knew this, but let it go for the moment, knowing that his words would need time to sink in for Josh.

The door to the kitchen swung open then, and Drake stood in the doorway. He smiled at the two of them.

"Hey," he said, "Mom wants to know if you guys want to go to BF Wang's." Josh smiled and nodded, realizing that he did feel kind of hungry, although it definitely felt surreal to be asked such a mundane question after the conversation he'd just had.

"I'm not very hungry," said Walter, "but why don't the four of you go. You can bring me back something for later."

"'Kay," said Drake, shrugging. "Oh, Megan's staying here, too. She said her stomach was bugging her." Walter frowned, then stood, taking a moment to meet Josh's eyes and attempt a smile before moving to leave the room.

"I'll just go check on her. You three have fun," he said, then paused at the foot of the stairs as he saw the boys heading out the door. Drake was pulling on Josh's sleeve and speaking animatedly.

"I want kung pao chicken," he was saying, "but I also want mooshu, so will you split with me?"

"Only if we also get wontons," he said. Drake laughed.

"Dude, we always get wontons."

Walter smiled, and turned to go up the stairs to check on his daughter.

X X X

Dinner was a surprisingly normal affair when the past few days were taken into consideration. The conversation between the boys and their mother was fairly light, revolving around school, for the most part, after a small bit of faltering near the beginning when Audrey brought up Drake's band. There were a minimum of awkward silences, although there were a few times when the subject was abruptly changed.

Finally, Drake shimmied out of the booth and headed for the bathroom, and Audrey sighed, suddenly looking exhausted, and Josh realized that she had been putting up a front for Drake's sake, and he found himself amazed that she was that good at pretending.

"Drake hasn't played his guitar at all, really, since that night," Josh blurted suddenly, and Audrey pursed her lips, knowing precisely what that meant—ever since he got his first acoustic guitar at the age of eleven, the longest break Drake had ever taken from the guitar was four weeks, and that was only because of a broken arm. Normally, when he was upset, the first thing he would do was play his guitar or write a song. So far, he had done neither.

"We're going to talk to him about seeing a counselor tomorrow," she said, "not tonight. He's trying hard to be strong, but today was hard for him. It was hard for all of us." It was then that Josh remembered that Drake had given his statement to the police earlier that day.

"How'd it go?"

"The detective who interviewed him said that he gave them everything they'd need," answered Audrey, seeming relieved about that, at least. "They might want to interview you, too."

"Why?" asked Josh. "I wasn't there."

"You're closest to him, and they want your perspective on it, too," she said, "and you are the first one he told." Josh just shrugged.

"I'll talk to them, if they think it'll help," he said easily, and Audrey smiled at him. Drake returned, and, seeing his mother smiling, smiled a bit, too, though, now that his mother had mentioned it, Josh saw the signs of fatigue etched onto Drake's face. But when Drake looked at him, he quickly smiled, too, and it only became more genuine when he felt Drake's hand squeeze his beneath the table.

X X X

Megan stayed home from school the next day, and the day after that, although she didn't feel nearly so sick after she turned her thoughts to finding ways to get Josh. She quickly realized that her usual pranks wouldn't work, and she briefly considered anonymously giving Mindy the picture she'd taken of Josh kissing Drake on his birthday, but decided against it because not only had Josh already practically destroyed his friendship with Mindy all on his own (she'd heard the whole argument from her room, even with the door closed) but it could also hurt Drake, and that was the last thing she wanted.

Finally, Megan found the perfect scheme, and, on her third day home from school, all she had to do was wait for Drake and Josh to leave before going into their room and taking only one item: Josh's laptop.