Chapter 24) Tea and Grief

Selected listening: Mortal Boy King- The Paper Kites

"He's not going to hurt him, is he?" Anastasia panicked as Narcissa ushered her into the Manor library on the second floor.

Grand bookcases of dark wood that stretched to the ceiling lined the right side of the room in rows, each filled with rich leather volumes. At the front of the room, a seating area with armchairs and a chaise lounge surrounded another fireplace framed by a black marble mantle. Each tall window had a seating ledge with a green velvet cushion.

"Heavens, no." Narcissa frowned. "My husband is strict, but he would never lay a hand on our son. Now, stay here. You need to eat something."

Narcissa left Anastasia in the library window seat. She stared out at the dense forest, still fearing Draco received worse than a scolding. Anastasia paid very careful attention, trying to sense any pain that might have come Draco's way. She could only feel an oncoming headache through the alcohol-induced haze.

Her godmother returned with a tray of perfectly iced sugar cookies and a stack of small pictures. Mopsy wandered in behind her carrying a tray of hot tea. They set them down on the low table in the middle of the seating arrangement, and Mopsy pittered out of the room.

Narcissa sat in the armchair, levitated the cream and two sugars in her tea and enchanted the spoon to stir. Anastasia sat on the chaise lounge beside her.

"Come now, have a cookie. They're quite good dipped in the tea," Narcissa suggested. Anastasia took one, doing as her godmother said, but felt sick about enjoying it while Draco was being punished. She took one bite and put it down on the saucer again. The crumbs melted in her mouth and vanished in an instant.

"You're right," she said through a pained smile. Her godmother smiled at her.

"I found some old pictures you might like." Narcissa pulled out the old polaroids, not unlike the ones Crabbe had been snapping before, except they were old, of two girls. One with a Hufflepuff scarf and one with a Slytherin scarf. The two were laughing and teasing each other.

"Is this my mum?" Anastasia asked and took the picture between her fingertips. She could see her resemblance in the curve of her face and the texture of her hair.

"Yes, that's Holly. We were best friends," Narcissa said, staring at the picture with a wistful tenderness.

"I know." Anastasia said, placing the picture back down on the wooden table. She wasn't sure if she should say anything about her mother's diary. It seemed almost intrusive to bring it up with Narcissa directly.

"It seems odd, don't you think? A Slytherin and a Hufflepuff being friends?"

"It's not really all that odd…" Narcissa continued, pulling on her robe sleeves and staring across the room at the window, "Slytherins are naturally good at standing up for their loved ones. Hufflepuffs are very good caretakers, but often forget to take care of themselves. That was how your mother was. Always doing for others, never caring about herself…up until her last breath."

Anastasia paused and tried to decipher her godmother's pensive expression.

"What do you mean?" she asked. Narcissa set her teacup down with a clink and her eyes grew despondent.

"He-who-shall-not-be-named tried to burn my research. Holly tried to stop him, even though I asked her to hide. She ended up dying right there in my office." Her voice broke at the end.

"I'm so sorry." Anastasia said. Though it was her own mother who died, Anastasia felt that those who knew her suffered a greater loss than she ever did. She couldn't imagine a life without Albus and Minerva as her caregivers. She couldn't have felt sad about her mother's death if she tried.

But deep in her stomach, an anger simmered, anger that the actions of one horrible man could change the lives of those around him so irrevocably.

"I could have tried to save her…" Narcissa continued, "I may have even been successful. But do you know her last wish?"

"What?" Anastasia asked.

"Her last wish was for me to save you, so that you may live a good life."

"Oh…" Anastasia said, staring sadly at her cookie. She had bitten off the smile of her rabbit, and now it looked as if the bitemark were a frown. She wasn't sure if she had a good life so far, maybe an okay life, although that was difficult to determine when she couldn't remember everything that her father had removed. Had her survival been worth her mother's sacrifice? She couldn't be certain.

"Darling, that's not a sad thing," Narcissa clarified, "I am sad that I lost my friend, but if I tried to save her and failed, I would have lost you both. Now I have the goddaughter I always wanted, even if I'm a few years late on the uptake."

Anastasia blushed. "Oh…that's so nice of you to say."

"I'm not just saying it. It's true. I want to be involved in your life from now on…starting with your wardrobe. Dear do you own one witch robe? Besides your uniform? At all?" she asked. Anastasia stared down at her shoes guiltily.

"Your father may be powerful, but he's never been the smartest in the bunch when it comes to childcare. That, I didn't have much of a choice on," Narcissa answered regretfully.

Anastasia grew solemn.

"Grandad took away many of my memories to keep my obscurus from reforming. I think of him as a great guardian…no one better to take care of me…but if that were the case, I wouldn't have had an obscurus to begin with. He's afraid that if he gives my memories back, I won't care for him any longer."

A sternness touched Narcissa's pursed lips.

"If you truly had an obscurus…then he's correct."

Anastasia felt her heart turn to lead in her chest. She hadn't wanted to face it…that her father was manipulating her by withholding information, that their relationship was built on lies and deceit. If that was true, she wouldn't know who to turn to anymore.

The two finished their tea in silence. When the last bit of Anastasia's sugar cookie vanished from the plate, and a bit more of her sobriety returned, she plucked up the bravery to ask one more question.

"A couple weeks ago…that night…what happened exactly?"

"I'm sorry," Narcissa apologized immediately. "I promised I'd do nothing to hurt you or Draco, but the spell to protect his wards failed…hurting you both…and me." She lifted her wrist to show it still trembling. Anastasia took in a sharp breath.

"So will he lose all his magic?" she asked, "when the divorce goes through?"

Narcissa smiled a sickening smile and looked back out into the forest.

"It would be too much trouble at this point…Lucius and I…we've come to an agreement…"

The emerald eyes in the owl figurine on the mantlepiece blinked brightly. Narcissa perked up, grateful for the distraction.

"Oh! That's the call from Severus. We need to get you two back to school. Go ahead, stand in front of the floo. I'll fetch Draco."

Anastasia stood in front of the fireplace, waiting patiently for Draco to appear beside her. As he did, he didn't say anything. She looked up at his stony profile.

"Are you alright?" Anastasia asked. He didn't answer. Narcissa returned and started fussing with them.

"Mum, mum stop." Draco said and blocked her from messing with his hair.

"Alright fine," she said, walked over to Anastasia and straightened out her sleeves. "Be safe. Don't go anywhere near those god-forsaken dementors. Either of you," she said in a warning voice to Draco. "And hopefully we can get you back here soon for a little shopping spree. Alright? Alright. Keep those in your pocket." Narcissa handed her the pictures. Anastasia did as she said.

Anastasia and Draco took a handful of floo powder out of the owl pot's head.

"Snape's office." Anastasia said and disappeared into the flames. She came tumbling out of the hearth. Draco, right after.

"Malfoy, Dumbledore…very well, off to your common rooms." Snape nodded them out. Draco nearly sprinted forward.

"Wait," Anastasia called. "Where are you going?" she asked, attempting to take his hand, but she only caught the hem of his sleeve.

"I don't need you checking up on me, Dumblebrat!" He jolted away.

"Hey! Stop calling me that," she said, drawing back from him. Draco glared through narrowed eyes

"Our little weekend of fun is over. Now you know all about my home and my family, so I suggest you go back to your common room so you can tell all your Gryffindork friends about it."

His voice cracked as he turned away.

"I'm not going to tell—Draco, wait." she said, but he had already disappeared down the dungeon corridors. She stared at her feet and gravitated towards the staircase, a lump in her throat.