§ § § - June 27, 2001

It was still dark, even beyond the blackout curtains in the bedroom where Christian and Leslie lay finally asleep after having made love for some time. The clock said two-fifteen; they had been asleep somewhat less than an hour. Leslie's head still rested on Christian's chest, and he had an arm draped limply across her back.

Somewhere in the flat a telephone rang, two shrill old-fashioned rings, a pause, then two more. Leslie moaned softly in her sleep; Christian's breathing hitched momentarily and he stirred. Someone in the next room picked up the phone in the middle of its third double ring and a sleepy voice murmured in jordiska. Then there came a startled cry that woke Leslie and Christian at the same moment; she lifted her head and he half sat up.

The voice in the next room belonged to Gerhard, they realized, and Christian tuned in for a moment; then he scowled heavily. Leslie stared at him in alarm. "Christian, my love, what happened?"

"Something's wrong with Arnulf," Christian said, sitting up fully. Leslie pulled herself up too and nestled in beside him, and they waited tensely. Christian looked puzzled; clearly, Gerhard's end of the conversation didn't give much information, but it didn't sound good even to Leslie.

A light went on in the hallway and Liselotta, still looking sleepy, appeared in their doorway. She started to speak, but Gerhard called her name, and she gave them an apologetic look before retreating. A few seconds later there was the sound of a phone being replaced in its cradle with a bang, and then Gerhard stepped into the doorway with Liselotta at his side. Without preamble he said bleakly, "Uncle Arnulf suffered another heart attack just within the last half hour…and he's dead."

Leslie gasped; Christian turned stark white. She instantly turned to him and saw it, and terror for him made her hug him hard. Without a word Christian hugged her back; she could feel the tremors, deep inside him, as if he were cold. Maybe he was, she thought. She had had the same feeling when it had finally sunk in that her mother was dead.

"We must go to the hospital," Gerhard said, raking his hands through his hair. "Aunt Kristina and the girls are over there now…as a matter of fact, Aunt Kristina was with him when he had the second attack. If we can, we'll have to keep it quiet until morning, so that we can have time to make arrangements…" He shook his head and let himself wilt in Liselotta's embrace; the younger couple began to cry softly.

Leslie drew back to gauge Christian's reaction; he stared at her with wide, blank eyes, and she felt her stomach go into free-fall. "Christian, my darling…" she whispered.

"That wasn't supposed to happen," Christian said, his voice quiet, very flat, but with the same shivers Leslie had felt within his body. "He was just 53, my Rose. He…" Christian stopped, a stunned glint entering his eyes as he went on staring at her. "I didn't care yesterday if he lived or died…"

She knew instantly where he was headed with this. "No, Christian, please," she begged, terrified. "Please, don't do this to yourself. It's not your fault, and it's not a punishment for your thoughts. Don't, my darling, please—"

"But you don't understand…" Christian began.

"Yes, I do," Leslie insisted frantically. "I tell you, my love, it's not your fault. For God's sake, Christian, listen to me. You didn't kill your brother!"

Christian had that deer-in-the-headlights look again. "I didn't care…"

"That's before you and he made your peace," Leslie reminded him, her voice sharpening with urgency. Unnoticed by either of them, Gerhard and Liselotta turned to stare at them with some alarm of their own. "You do care, my darling, don't you? Don't you?"

He breathed some curse in his own tongue, looking dazed and lost, and then sucked in a loud gasp before abruptly breaking down into sobs that racked his entire body. He clutched Leslie, now his lifeline, while she held him close with every ounce of her strength and rocked him, stroking his hair. She absorbed his sorrow, released some of his and some of her own in her tears, closing her eyes and wordlessly giving him the comfort and support he needed. Gerhard and Liselotta silently stole away, leaving them alone in their grief.

To be continued…of course!