IDOI

Second Part of We Have a Last Laugh. Please bear with me on this one.

"SAM! FREDDIE!"

Carly wove her way through the crowd. When she reached the dueling duo, she grabbed both their collars and, using strength she never knew she had, wrenched them apart.

"STOP."

Sam pointed at Freddie with an accusing finger. "He started it. He would let me have any Peppy-Cola!"

Freddie protested, "I said I was sorry. It was the cola's fault."

Sam scoffed. "Yeah, whatever. The cola's fault? What the hell does that even mean?"

"It means that STUFF that you made is completely mind controlling. Actually, YOU made it. It's your fault when you really think about it."

"Really think about it? How can you? You barely think at all."

Carly was fed up. "CAN YOU TWO PLEASE JUST SHUT UP FOR ONE FRIGGIN' SECOND SO I CAN ENJOY MY GODDAMN PARTY?!? I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR GUYS' CRAP FOR TODAY!"

Surprisingly, it was Freddie who replied. "Jeez, angry much?"

And as you may well know, this is not something to say to someone who is extremely pissed off. Fortunately, Freddie was saved from getting his ass handed to him for the second time. By Sam no less.

"HEY, Carly, look! Is-is that...Wendy?"

Carly whipped around to see that, in full view of all the partiers, a still pant less Gibby was making out with Wendy on her Grandmother's table.

"Oh My God."

"Yeah, I know. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit."

"No, Sam, that's the table my Granny gave me. And it's being desecrated by teenage hormones."

"That's...not good."

"YA THINK! Get over there and GET THEM OFF!"

Not wanting to anger Carly any more than she already was, Sam shoved her way through the still oblivious dancers. "OUTTA MY WAY! MOVE IT OR LOSE IT, BUB!"

Freddie watched Sam leave while Carly looked at the clock.

"Aw man! There's only twenty minutes until countdown."

"Yeah, she is hot."

Carly did a double take. "Ye- what?"

Freddie looked stricken. "Did I say that out loud?"

"Yes. Yes you did. Care to explain?"

Freddie sighed. "You're not gonna let this go are you?"

"No chance."

"Fine. Look, it's just, Sam is smokin' hot, and the way she pushes other people around, the way she eats like a pig, the way she can run faster than anyone on the track team, it's just all so...awesome. And her blonde hair, soft skin...every day I just dream of getting to touch her all over."

Carly was wide-eyed. "OK then...thanks for sharing that creepy bit of information. I'm gonna stand over here for now."

She moved to the other side of the kitchen, leaving Freddie in a dreamy daze.

Meanwhile...

"GIBBY, GET OFF THE FRICKIN' TABLE BEFORE I HAVE TO SHOVE YOU OFF!"

Gibby and Wendy scrambled on to the floor. "Yes Ma'am. Sorry Ma'am."

"And, Wendy, what are you doing making out with—with GIBBY? Of all the guys in this room, GIBBY? He's so weird it makes Freddie look sort of normal."

"BURN! ... Wait...," Gibby mumbled to himself, going over what Sam had said, "You insulted ME!"

Sam sadly shook her head. "No, Gibby, you insulted yourself."

"Oh, Snap... you are on a roll."

"Thanks, Wendy, I try my best."

Meanwhile...

Carly caught sight of Wesley dancing to close to the—

"NO, DON'T GO THERE! THAT'S WHERE—"

But it was too late. He exploded.

"—Spencer keeps his WWII mine collection."

Luckily, the explosion couldn't be heard over the music and the partiers weren't distracted from having fun. Carly started to clean up the mess when a hand landed on her shoulder. She looked up. Griffin.

"Hey, how's it going?"

She looked at the clock. It was about a minute before countdown. If she could talk to Griffin long enough maybe she can get some lip action as they ring in the New Year.

"Oh, it's been going fine." She replied.

Meanwhile...

Sam made her way back to the kitchen to get some cola. She found Freddie at the table with his head in his hands.

"Hey, where's the ladle?"

His head shot up.

"Over there."

"Dude, you have a black eye."

"What?" Freddie ran over to the fridge to check his reflection. "Aw, Man, my mom's gonna kill me." He gingerly touched the ring of blue and purple flesh. "Ow."

Sam felt a little sorry. (LITTLE.) So she got some ice from the freezer and put it in a bag. "Come here, nub, we gotta ice it."

They sat down at the table and she leaned forward, carefully placing the ice over his eye. He closed his eyes and let out a contented sigh. Then he opened his good eye to see that Sam face was inches from his own. Their eyes connected.

"You know, from up close, you look even more beautiful."

Sam smirked. "Of course I do."

Freddie was feeling light headed from a combination of the ice and Sam's sweet smelling breath constantly brushing his face.

The countdown began.

5

Carly started leaning forward.

4

Gibby and Wendy resumed their make out session on Carly's Grandmother's table.

3

The partiers danced on.

2

Freddie moved Sam's hand aside and looked at her lips.

1

BLAM! The table broke, dropping Gibby and Wendy on the floor.

BLAM! Griffin accidently stepped back and detonated a mine.

BLAM! Freddie nursed a second black eye. Sam's explanation? "No one touches Mama's business."

Meanwhile...

He lay under the tree with Sasha. The fireworks went off when the countdown hit zero. They kissed passionately. Spencer broke off the kiss and grinned.

"Best. New Years. Ever."

We are iCarly and this is 2010.

HAHAHA. *Wipes tear from eye* This was a disaster! I went a little random with this one. I couldn't fit the phrases into the story so I fit the story around the phrases. And No, Spencer doesn't REALLY have a WWII mine collection. Nobody actually died. I just needed to use the phrase 'Don't go there'. I just thought I could take a break from the logical/rational. This short story does not have anything to do with the storyline of This is My Life. Anything that happened in this chapter (and the previous one for that matter) should be disregarded.

By the Way, This is My Life is going to be series of connected one-shots.

These are the phrases that Dan has deemed unfunny for 2010.

1. Blanky McBlankerson (Wimpy McWimperson, in this case)

2. Good times

3. REALLY?!?

4. Alrighty then

5. It's like a party in my mouth

6. Too much information

7. And by [this] I mean [that]

8. ___ Much? (Angry Much?)

9. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit

10. Ya think?

11. Did I just say that out loud?

12. Burn

13. Oh snap

14. Don't go there

15. Business (refering to someone's body part as his/her business)

16. Best. Blank. Ever.

The last one I couldn't use: 17. Eh, not so much.

Review?