Disclaimer: I do not own Big Time Rush or their songs or the characters from the show…I wish I did! Ha-ha

Chapter Five: Anger and Sadness

Ok, yeah I was mean for calling Carlos a monkey, but right about now I was thinking of Logan as a rat. But I really couldn't. It wasn't my fault he's had a crush on me for months and I just couldn't return the feelings. My heart was with Carlos but it had fallen and shattered like glass that day two months ago when he had gotten drunk. I knew Carlos was sorry and wanted me back but I wasn't ready to take him back. Well I felt that way until a few moments ago before Logan had stolen another kiss from me. I pushed myself away from him and my hazel eyes widened in anger.

"Thief!" I said as if we were living in reply and we went back to the day Logan had stolen my first kiss. Logan laughed. When I turned Carlos and Jennifer were gone. I lost my chance with Carlos. I ran outside looking around for him and saw him standing with Jennifer by the limo. Once he looked at me he pulled Jennifer into a long kiss. Did he really think that kiss with Logan was all me? Fine, if Carlos wanted to act like he was in Junior High School again then two could play this game. I went back inside and soon Carlos and Jennifer came in.

"I knew Mia was jealous. That's why she got up. That song was for me. Right Carlos?" I heard Jennifer say loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Yup", I heard Carlos say before kissing Jennifer again. Stupid bit- Right in the middle of my thoughts Logan pulled me in for another kiss. What happened to shy nerdy Logan? Was he taking lessons from James or something?

"Ahem" I recognized the voice as Carlos' But Logan and I were still kissing.

"AHEM" He got louder. The little evil person in me was pleased. Jealous? I thought. What's wrong with me? I never used to be like this. Going to this extent to get a boy jealous? This wasn't me. Logan and I broke our kiss and I didn't even want to finish my dinner.

When we got back to the hotel Logan walked me to my room. Carlos and Jenn were behind him since Jennifer and the other two Jennifers lived right across from me. Carlos and Jenn were making out…again. Logan leaned in to kiss me but I turned and all he got was my cheek. I didn't want Logan's feelings to get stronger when I knew I couldn't return them. We said goodnight and I took a nice long hot shower. Dad was out somewhere and Mike was out on a date so the house was quiet. I layed in my bed which seemed cold even though I had a blanket over me. Then I heard a light tapping on the door. I opened the door without looking in the peephole assuming it was Mike who might've lost his key again. I turned the knob and pulled it lightly then let go, knowing he'd get mad that I didn't open it all the way. Instead of hearing Mike's complaining I felt strong hands move around my waist and a soft kiss on my neck. It was Carlos. I didn't have to look at his face to know it. It was his scent of mint. He then turned me around and kissed my lips gently. He wasn't wearing a shirt and his body was wet all over. Obviously he had just came from the pool. He always took a swim when he needed to clear his thoughts.

"Mia I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I was stupid for doing that knowing what happened to your mother. I should have never used Jennifer to get you jealous this past month. I'm so sorry ba-" I cut him off with a long slow kiss. My arms were now around his neck and his hands were wrapped around my waist. He was going to talk again but I stopped him with a simple "hush". I smiled and kissed him one more time. I missed being in his arms and feeling safe, or find myself getting lost in his eyes or playing with his messy dark brown hair. We kissed again and he whispered "I love you" into my ear. "I love you too" Just as I finished my sentence Mike walked in. At first I didn't care. Then I remembered Carlos was shirtless and we were still holding each other.

"Let go of her" ,Mike growled.

"Man chill out", Carlos laughed. Bad timing for a joke.

"What're you doing with my sister?" he asked.

"I'm her boyfriend", Carlos answered as if he were saying 'duh'

"No you're not, get out", Mike said calmly. Carlos looked at me with worried eyes, confused.

"It's ok Carlos, go. I'll see you tomorrow", and I kissed him, which angered Mike even more. So what? I'm seventeen and my brother is acting like I'm seven.

Carlos walked out after stealing a kiss from me.

"What was that?" Mike asked looking at me with angry eyes.

"My boyfriend", I said almost dreamily as I sat on the couch.

"He is not"

"Is too" We sounded like we were five.

"Why can you date and I cant? You're only a year older than me! What's the big deal Mike?" I yelled at him. I never yelled at Mike. We had small arguments but it never got to us yelling at one another. Honestly, he was pissing me off. He goes on plenty of dates and I finally meet the guy of my dreams and Mike is against it?

"I don't want you dating him! Anyone but him and his friends! He's famous he's going to have lots of girls around him. I don't trust him around you Mia", his voice trailed off at the end.

"Do you need a wake up call Mike? I don't know if you noticed but I'm famous too now. And all those girls don't matter to me. I trust him. I love him." When I said those last three words I smiled and I let myself drift away into a reverie. I was in Carlos' strong arms. And had his arms around my waist as he stood behind me. He kissed my neck gently and I blushed. But my day dream was cut short by Mike.

"You cant see him anymore", he said it with a fatherly tone, which just pissed me more off.

"You're not my father!" I yelled at him and turned into the kitchen. I pulled out some sliced bread, ham, cheese, mayonnaise, and lettuce. I was started to make my sandwich when Mike came back. He didn't get enough of torturing me in one day?

"Well, its my job to protect you as a big brother, and I say you cant date him", he had a cocky smile on his face that I wanted to smack right off him.

"Well, as your little sister its my job to protect you. You cant date anymore easy girls who throw themselves at you", I smiled and took a bite from my sandwich.

"I'm older and I'm a guy so it's different", he went in the living room and turned on the t.v.

"So now it's about what's in our pants?" I snatched the remote and turned off the t.v. Now my dad walked in. He had groceries so I grabbed them and helped him put them away. I knew Mike was going to tell my dad so I tried to distract myself before my dad would question me.

"Mia", my father called. Should I be the little girl he wants me to stay or be the adult I want to be? One order of option two please!

"Yes?" I answered with a annoyed tone.

"You're dating Carlos?" he was serious. I knew he wouldn't like my answer.

"Yes", I knew he was going to question Carlos tomorrow morning.

"Not anymore." My mouth hung open. I had dated other boys before so what was different this time? That Carlos came to apologize without a shirt on? He looked great while he was apologizing…

"Why?" my voice was loud.

"Watch your tone Mia", he began, "He's a singer, it wont be good for you sweetheart. When he meets someone knew he'll toss you to the side. I don't want you going through that honey."

I took my sandwich and threw it at Mike. "I hope you're happy" I muttered. I then looked at my father. I couldn't believe I was going against him. "I trust Carlos! I just really wish you both did too. I know mom would have. I'm happy, is that really so bad? You both will never see a smile on my face until you learn to accept him." With that I stomped into my room. My face was buried in the pillow and I sobbed. I just wanted them to accept Carlos. It isn't bad to fall in love so why do they hate him? I heard my door open.

"Mia, I'm sorry but it's for the best", Mike pleaded.

"Get out!" I screamed into the pillow. My arm was extended as I pointed at the door. I didn't hear his footsteps leave so I screamed again. "Go away Mike! Leave me alone!"

The next day I woke up and Mike was gone, which was weird. He isn't a morning person. I sat at the kitchen table and ate a bowl of cereal. My dad attempted to make small talk with me but all I did was nod or ignore him. After breakfast I took a shower and made my way to the pool, where I usually found Carlos and the others hanging out. Instead of seeing my perfect guy waiting for me, I found my perfect guy sitting on a chair with that stupid brunette Jennifer on his lap. He was wearing black swim trunks and she had a two piece black bikini. All I had on were a red tank top and white shorts with red and white sandals. His arms were around her body and she had her arms around his neck. I wanted to pull her by her hair and throw her in the pool. Why would he apologize to me and then go to Jennifer. With anger fueling me I walked over to them. When I was closer Jennifer gave me a evil glare and they both got up and left. Carlos only glanced at me. It wasn't the glance I wanted either. It was just as evil as Jennifer's. I saw James, Kendall, Jo and Logan occupying the other four seats by the one Carlos and Jennifer had left empty. They saw me staring at the empty seat. I felt their concerned stares. I looked at all of them as I tried not to cry. Logan was the first to get up. He took me in his arms and began to cry. I never cried this hard before. Why was I crying over Carlos? He was exactly what Mike and dad said he'd be. He was probably in the game with the others from the beginning. Was he really in the game but lied and said he wasn't to get to me? Why did I care? He has Jennifer now. And I have…no one. Logan took me into the lobby and sat me down. He asked me about what had happened between Carlos and I. I told him everything.

"That's what you get when you let your heart win.." I said, quoting a Paramore song. Logan handed me a tissue but I didn't even wipe my face. I let the tears fall. He took the tissue back from me and wiped my tears for me. Why did my heart choose Carlos? Why didn't it chose Logan? He's really sweet and caring. He has chocolate brown eyes too. I was a sucker for chocolate brown eyes. Is that why it chose Carlos? Because he was the first I met? 'Stop thinking about him! If he wants to move on then you can too!' I didn't know if this was the little evil person in me or the nice person in me. Logan just held me and let me cry. No one has ever let me just cry before. It was always: "Stop crying!" or "You have no reason to cry" It felt good to just cry though. I felt Logan stroking my hair as I cried and he kissed the top of my head. This time it didn't feel like he was forcing a kiss so I'd like him. It felt pure even though it wasn't my lips. This time it felt like he really cared. Do I like Logan now? No I cant. I couldn't get over Carlos this fast. Well why couldn't I? He got over me really fast. It only took him one month and here I am two months later still alone.

When my eyes were dry and I couldn't possibly cry anymore, I looked up at Logan, who's face was full of concern. I kissed him softly on his lips and he had kissed me back. I felt bad since he's one of Carlos' best friends, but I had to move on too. I knew my dad wouldn't approve of Logan either because he's a singer as well but at this moment I didn't care.

When we broke our kiss our foreheads touched and we looked at one another. I just looked into his chocolate brown eyes. But now they looked shocked. I turned around to find Carlos, Jennifer, and Camille watching us.

Well here's Chapter 5. I hope you like it. J I didn't plan this story at all. From beginning to this point I made it up as I went along so I don't know if its any good. Ha-ha. Enjoy!