I sat in my room trying to come up with a plan to fix Santana, to try and mend the broken pieces that were obviously stabbing at her insides but nothing came to my head. I sat on my bed for hours thinking and thinking which was difficult because I wasn't too great at thinking but my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of my window opening.

Santana climbed through her leather jacket scratching against my window pane as she stepped inside. My heart began to race.

I still sat there on my bed, I thought that maybe it was just a dream that I must have dozed off. I couldn't find the strength to get up and let my weight fall onto my bed as if to drain me of what I expected to be Santana telling me to stop trying to help her but that was far from what had happened.

Her eyes were puffy and I knew she had been crying even though the furrow of her brow and her walking tall stance tried to tell me otherwise. "San…" It was all that I could mutter. Funny I thought that I would have something much more meaningful to say but my thoughts tend to scatter when she's around.

She sat down beside me on my bed scanning my features like she wanted to memorize each curve on my face and then she laid her hand against my cheek as if she had forgotten what my skin felt like.

Chills ran through my body as her cold fingers softly brushed my cheeks, they were desperate for affection and just the heat that radiated from my face warmed her. Her eyes were piercing as they stared into mine but there was fear in them. She was scared but she was trying.

She leaned forward slowly until her eyes closed, her lips brushing against mine, I felt the weight lifted.

She was gentle and caring and it was just a simple light kiss but it felt like so much more. I lingered for more as she inhaled taking in the moment for what it was. She stared down at our hands that found themselves tangled with one another now as I could only stare into her brown eyes that had mesmerized me since we were ten.

We were silent, I wanted to say something, I wanted to tell her that I loved her and that I missed her so much but I think she already knew so I let us share the silence hoping it would give her time to recollect her own thoughts.

"I'm only happy when i'm with you…" Her words came out of the tranquility of the quiet and my racing heart began to pound even harder to the point where I was afraid it would leap out of my chest. She squeezed my had lightly the way she used to when she was scared of something and I could feel it, I could feel the darkness that would soon follow.

Her eyes were watering as she slowly loosened her grip around my hand and lifted herself from my bed almost by force. I was confused, I didn't know what she wanted or what this meant. She wore a frown on her face and I felt the pieces of my own heart begin to crack.

She was leaving, she had kissed me and then she was going to leave. Why did she do this to me, why did I let her.

She walked back towards the window letting herself out as my heart had successfully broken.

The next day at school I tried to talk to her, I just wanted an explanation but instead all I got were salt in my wounds. She showed up to Glee her hands intertwined with Sam's and I felt the heartbreak once more. If she was only happy when she was with me then why was she with him?

It was different though, she had never held hands with any of her other boyfriends in fact I think pinky holding was the closest she had ever gotten to holding hands. I stared at her as Rachel sang another ballad and I knew she could feel my eyes on her because she tried her best to avoid my glances.

Sam was a good guy, I knew he would treat her well and take care of her. It was hard to be angry at him after all he didn't know Santana the way I did but I still felt this raging jealousy every time he would whisper something in her ear or kiss her cheek.

He was cute and sweet and charming but there was only one thing wrong with him, he wasn't me.