Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, not Prison Break, not Michael, not Sara… lame but true.

Spoilers for all the first season.

Although English isn't my first language, Lisa is great and makes this possible.

Thank you.

Any mistakes that remain are my own.

Summary: Sometimes, just the faith isn't enough.

Title: Some nights.

I really appreciate all of the feedback and reviews that I have received.

By Lylou

----------------------

-"Jack... every time that you are not with me... How is your life?

-"...Complicated.

And yours?"

Sara felt her lover's hand playing with her hair, thrown around the pillow, and could sense him smiling in the dark room, their voices where low and sleepy.

-"Lonely".

-"Do you feel less lonely now?"

-"No"

-"...How do you think this could end Sara?"

-"I never think about the future... "

Of course, that wasn't true.

Sara couldn't help it but she was always thinking about her crappy love life, about her awful decisions, and about the future.

And about Michael.

Mostly about him.

Maybe it was all her fault; maybe she was unable to have normal relations with men.

The relationship with her father was dysfunctional and painful, always, since she was just a little girl Sara always had obsessively looked for his approval, and when she was not having it, the need was even more desperate.

And one day, long time ago she thought: "Would he really miss me, if I die right now?"

And that's how Sara took drugs for the first time.

In a sordid and noisy bar, with a man that never cared about her.

Like all the others.

"But maybe Michael..."

That voice in her mind again... she really didn't want to think about it, but she was playing a dangerous game.

She was spying on a spy.

And sleeping with him.

And with Michael.

Jack, or Paul, or whatever his fucking name was, wanted to find, and surely, kill Michael and Lincoln.

Sara had known it all almost since the beginning, but she had followed with the lie, because she likes the self-destruction's bitter aftertaste in the mouth, but she knew too that all that, couldn't end all right.

Especially for her.

But the strangest thing of all was that he never asked anything about her, Jack never asked about her former work at Fox River, or about her relation with the cons... He just was there, being freaking normal.

At the beginning, during weeks after she had slept with Jack for the first time, Sara was always waiting for Michael to appear in the middle of the night to try to save her, again.

But it never happened.

Maybe he didn't even know it, or maybe, he knows it but it didn't matter to him.

He didn't owe anything to her, and she never wanted his apologies, they were free since the beginning of their particular mess, but they couldn't run away and move on.

And now, it was even more and more complex, with Jack or Paul sleeping with her, going to the cinema together, pretending to have a normal and healthy relation...

It was dangerous and freaking strange, she liked Jack, Sara liked being with him, he was interesting and nice, except for the part of the lie and the manipulation.

Just like Michael.

"And it's killing me know that you are never gonna believe that"

-"Sara... is something wrong?"

-"No... I was just thinking..."

She was going to add some more, but the tone of a cellular phone sounding below their clothing thrown in the ground, distracted her.

It was Jacks phone.

-"... I have to answer, sorry."

Sara felt how he was getting up from bed to find his phone under their clothes and then she knew it.

She knew that everything was about to change.

It was like looking at a bomb, and she couldn't run away.

Sara knew then that everything was going to start with that call, and she was just there, naked in her bed, listening to Paul's low voice in her hall.

The time of the lies has ended, and all she could do now, was have some faith.

-"I have to go... I ...

Sorry Sara."

-"Is everything okay?"

He quit dressing for a second and he looked at her, like if, for the first time, he would have thought that she was acquainted of more than he belived.

Sara felt a shiver in her back, and wished to be thousands of kilometers away from there.

-"No... it's fine.

I'm sorry Sara."

-"Don't worry, I'll be fine"

There was that look again, he was obviously suspecting something but Sara wasn't sure of what.

Then he left a fast kiss on her cheek and she heard her apartment's door closing a few seconds later.

She was alone again.

Then she felt terribly lonely and sad.

But most of all, Sara felt scared.

It was like if her own bed wasn't a safe place anymore, sleeping with the enemy, with one of them, was dangerous, she knew it the first time, but it was the only way of being part of the lie for one time.

Because Sara was tired of being only a piece of a giant domino about to fall, piece by piece.

That's why she was doing something like that.

Because of that, and because of Michael.

Sara doesn't want them to murder him, wherever he was, and that she never find out.

It was too sad.

Even for them.

Sara began to get dressed; outside was snowing again, so she grabbed her black coat and left her home in the middle of that cold night.

------------------------------------------------

Something was wrong.

Michael was beating on Sara's apartment door for the last ten minutes.

But she wasn't there.

It was past 1 a.m. but she wasn't there. Hundreds of horrible possibilities crossed his mind immediately. Maybe she was with HIM right now, maybe making love at his home now.

It hurt him just to think about it.

Sara didn't owe anything to him, she never had promised to him a fucking "Happily ever after" but just the thought of the other man caressing her skin, kissing her warm body at midnight and making love to her, was more than Michael could stand.

And he could stand a lot.

But thinking of her, with that damn and normal man, was killing him slowly.

Maybe he deserved it, maybe he deserved even more.

Had she forgiven him?

Surely he should walk away in the cold night and never come back again, get away from that door, and from her, as much as he was able.

And when he was about to get in the elevator and never come back again Michael lheard familiar steps behind him and turned.

And there she was.

With her hair messy and dabbled by snowy flakes about to melt, her cheeks less pale than normal, and her eyes shining more than any of those far mornings at the infirmary.

But Michael's voice sounded colder than he would have wanted.

-"Where have you been?"

-"... Why?"

-"I was ... worried"

-"You don't have any right to be it Michael."

Then he pushed her back against the wall, and kissed her.

Angry and desperately.

Michael felt the familiar warmth of her mouth intoxicating him; he was so near that he could almost breathe her air.

His hands stopped embracing her face and descended slowly and possessively, over her body, down to her hips, and Sara felt how he pushed her harder against the wall.

Suddenly her soft mouth separated some painful centimeters from his, and when she spoke, their lips were almost touching and Michael could feel her hot breath over his own skin when she whispered:

-"That's your new plan Michael?

Are you going to fuck me at my building's corridor?"

-"Maybe."

Michael looked for her apartment's keys in her coat pockets, his eyes were staring upon her, like if he was trying to make her feel guilty, guilty to have accepted him in her life again.

It wasn't her fault, and Michael knew it, but he was angry, and jealous, and scared.

Because Michael knew then that he has to tell her "good-bye", and that frightened him most of all.

It was going to be the last time.

Michael opened the door at least and they came in, their bodies were still too close when she closed the door.

-"Michael... I know we are not accustomed, but we need to talk"

Her voice was low and serious, too much for Michael under their current circumstances, mostly when that familiar voice in his brain spoke again: "She is going to leave you, like everybody that you love, she is going to move on finally, and are never going to kiss her again"

-"I don't want to talk."

Michael kissed her, more deeply than before.

He didn't want to talk, he just wanted to be there, kissing her, getting his hands underneath her blouse and touching her warm skin, squeezing her small body against his, knowing already, that the most probable, was that he never would see her again.

Suddenly he felt her hands, small and cold, fighting blindly with the buttons of his pants.

Maybe, if he was able to keep her entertained enough, Sara wouldn't be able to leave him that night.

The smell of her strawberry shampoo was all over the dark room now, and over his hands, and the familiar and warm smell of her skin was intoxicating him and Michael knew then, that he never would need any other person, so much as he always needed her.

And she was going to leave him.

Maybe, that night.

--------------------------------

Like usually, when Sara opened her eyes, he wasn't there.

His smell was still trapped in the room and under the sheets, but Michael wasn't there anymore.

The last night had been rare, first that unusual call at Paul's phone, then her necessity to take a walk on one of the coldest nights of the year, to make a decision about what she should have done.

She must tell Michael, he needed to know that they were up to something, and maybe, she should have told him how she had found it out.

Maybe.

But Michael was there, waiting for her at the corridor, angry and sexy, like she had never seen him before.

It always was hard to resist Michael's liquid glance ever her body, but the last night it had turned out to be impossible thing for her.

Now she should continue with the lie, with all the lies, until he come back some night.

Sara was mentally flagellating herself when she saw a sheet of paper on the pillow.

Her eyes passed over the paper over and over again, until she was convinced of what was written on it.

"I hope that you will forgive me, until then, I want you to know that I'm still sorry.

Goodbye."

Sara felt the tears in her eyes and a knot in her stomach.

Michael had abandoned her.

Again.

The pain and the sadness, turned rapidly into fury and anger inside her.

Maybe she still could catch him, maybe he wasn't too far.

Sara walked until her apartment door, but before that she came to, her door opened suddenly and two men entered.

And she knew it.

Sara tried to run away, but before having gone three steps, something strong hit her in the nape and made her fall to the floor. She still could hear some footsteps in her direction but then everything turned black.

To be continued...