Chapter 8 – Undeniable
A/N: The title to this chapter is also the name of a kickass Jacob/Nessie fic by IndependenceIndividuality on FFnet. It's the Jacob POV version of her main fic, Hands on Me. If you're a J/N addict like myself, it's a must read. Check it out afteryou finish this chapter.
Sorry for the delay in posting. Apparently there was a little mix up in Project Team Beta-land. Thanks to my PTB betas, Amore and DeeDreamer!
JPOV
Embry, please phase back. I really fucking need to be alone right now, I practically shouted at him with my thoughts. I couldn't help it, my anger and frustration was uncontrollable.
Done, he replied, and then he was gone.
Of all the females in the world, why in the hell did I imprint on my natural enemy? Was my life not screwed up enough as it were? Sure I had all those lovesick feelings of undying devotion that came with imprinting, but I still didn't understand it. What was I supposed to do if she killed humans as a means of survival? I couldn't imagine killing her for it. That would be impossible.
I could hear her running behind me. I could practically feel every movement she made in my heart. I ran as far as I could, but it wasn't far enough. We were still near campus, so wooded areas were limited. She approached me slowly once I stopped. I phased back right in front of her, not caring if I scared her in the process.
"Do you kill people?" I shouted.
"No! Never. I eat regular food most of the time, sometimes animals. Never humans, I swear! I told you last night I don't hurt people." She was practically pleading with me. The look in her eyes nearly brought me to my knees. How could I be so harsh to this beautiful creature?
I snatched my shorts on and started walking toward the car. Her hand reached out and touched my arm in a half-hearted attempt to stop me. "Come on, I'll take you back," I mumbled.
She didn't speak or move. I turned back to look at her. She looked so confused and hurt and worried…and beautiful. I couldn't continue to be mean to her. I couldn't command her to come with me like I had commanded her to stay earlier. Her eyes stared into mine, burning right through to my soul. I would never get used to the way I felt when we looked into each other's eyes. It made my body turn to mush, made my heart speed up…made me forget why I was angry to begin with. She was my enemy, and now the person my soul belonged to.
None of the endless questions streaming through my mind mattered. Not the whys or the hows or the one question that seemed to be screaming in the forefront – can imprinting be reversed? She was all that mattered.
Neither of us spoke for a long moment.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
She gnawed her perfect pink lip nervously as I finally approached her. My hands came up to rest on her arms. I wanted so badly to pull her against my chest and hold her, but I didn't. I looked down at her; she was staring at the ground. My hand came to her face and tilted it up to me. She bored into my eyes from beneath thick lashes. I pressed my lips together firmly and fought against my body's burning desire to kiss her.
My heart pounded inside my chest. It felt like something was literally pulling me closer to her, forcing us together. I didn't want to force myself on her. How could she want me after everything that just happened? Why was she even letting me touch her? My head was swimming in a pool of everything that was essential to her…her scent, her eyes, the heat emanating between our bodies.
She sighed, pulling me out of my daze.
"What are you doing to me?" she breathed. Does she feel it, too? "Is this like…your power or something?" she said in a hushed voice, stumbling over the words.
I felt my face moving closer and closer to hers though I'd never made the conscious decision to do so. She asked me a question – a very important one at that. I was supposed to be coming up with a reply, not kissing her. Gravity won the battle and our lips pressed together tenderly. Fucking heaven.
Our mouths moved in harmony. It wasn't like last night's lusty, half drunk kisses. This was so much more. My hands left her arms and wrapped around her waist. Our breathing was labored and we both gasped for air between warm, passionate kisses. She finally let her hands move. One wrapped around my neck. The other hand touched my face ever so lightly.
Less than a second later, my mind was filled with emotions and sensations that weren't my own. Confusion. Desire. Acceptance...Love. It was also clear that she felt the same detachment from the world that I did, like we were floating in our own realm and nothing else was there except us and this strange yet amazing connection we shared.
She took my lower lip into her mouth and sucked at it gently. Our mouths parted and the kisses became more urgent and hot, less tender. Like my mouth had before, my hands felt like they had a mind of their own and urged to rake over her soft, warm body. Not now. Not like this. Her pulling at my hair wasn't helping matters.
Somehow, I tore my lips from hers. My forehead rested against the top of her head. We were both breathing heavily and not speaking. Her hands rested on my chest, mine on the small of her back. What is he...doing to me? How is this…happening? This feels so…so right. Why did he stop? Why don't I want him to stop? What's going on with me? Her thoughts became more coherent the more she questioned herself.
I wanted to tell her to just go with it, but last time I did that she accused me of drugging her. Without thinking, I cupped her face and started kissing her again, slowly this time. Her fingers lightly ran all over my torso and I growled against her mouth. Just take me. I'm his. I need him. My hand on her face tangled into her hair. She pressed her body against mine and I nearly ripped her clothes off right then and there. So warm and soft. Much better than cold…better than Warren…
I instantly pulled away from her and stepped back. Had she actually hooked up with a vampire? My still-fighting-against-the-imprint side screamed, PARTY FOUL! Sloppy seconds from a vamp!
I had no right to be upset with her for anything she'd ever done, even if it was just a couple of hours ago. She wasn't mine. Not officially at least, no matter what her thoughts may have unknowingly told me. But part of me couldn't even look at her. I had to know the truth. Now.
"You've slept with the vamp?" I asked, trying hard not to sound completely disgusted.
She stared at the ground for a moment then looked up at me. "Why do you care?" she asked quietly. I thought she'd be bitter and snappy, but she wasn't. "I don't even know you. Warren's the only real friend I've had in my entire life…" she trailed off, her gaze returned to the ground.
There were too many things I wanted to say. We were standing in the middle of the woods. This wasn't the place for a serious discussion.
"Do you like Chinese takeout?" I asked, stepping back toward her. I took her hand in mine and she didn't resist.
"Yeah, it's alright."
She still wasn't looking at me. I gently tilted her face up to mine by her chin. "Can we go back to your place and order some? Maybe talk for a while?" I asked in a low voice.
"I'm half vampire…which is apparently disgusting. Top it off; the only person I've ever fucked is a full blown vampire. Well, until last night anyway. Why do you want to hang out with me?" she said condescendingly. "Why are you doing this? What do you want from me?" Her brows knitted together in confusion as tears began to fall from her eyes. I wiped them away and just stared at her. I wanted to punch myself for making her cry.
"I'm really sorry. Can we just talk?"
"Yeah, let's just go," she mumbled, turning away from me and walking toward the car.
The ride back was completely silent. Ness stared out the window the entire time. There was no point in trying to make small talk. I was saving everything I had to say for when we got back, and could sit down face to face and talk like adults. I did call and order our food when we got close. When I asked what she wanted, she just mumbled "Whatever you're having." So I did just that and ordered her one of everything I ordered. It would have been enough food for six people.
If she was trying to drive me insane, she was doing a fantastic job. As soon as her dorm door was shut, she pulled some pajamas from her dresser and began to undress right in front of me. I was sort of disappointed she'd faced the other way but at least I had a nice view of her backside for the half second it took her to change. I couldn't help but wonder if she always wore such sexy underwear or if it was for her previous visitor. I cringed at the thought and prayed she always wore shit like that.
The food arrived before we could get settled in and the awkward silence between us still persisted. She paid the delivery guy before I had a chance to. She draped a sheet over her bed and patted the side of the bed across from her, inviting me to join her and the two massive bags of food. I pulled my wallet out to pay her back for the meal, but she wouldn't have it.
"Keep it."
"No, this was my idea and there's no way you're going to eat all this," I said, tossing a $50 bill onto her side of the makeshift table cloth.
She tossed it back. "My dad's an ass. Let him pay for this. Seriously."
I figured this was a good way to get the ball rolling, so I went with it. "Your dad's an ass? What'd he do?"
"I told you I've only ever had one friend in my entire life…and I met him after I ran away from home. I wasn't joking. I wasn't allowed to have friends growing up," she said, picking through the bags until finally deciding on a carton of shrimp fried rice and an eggroll. "That's one reason. But enough about me, let's talk about you," she said jokingly. She was actually joking. Maybe this wouldn't go terribly.
I wanted to know more about her, but there was a lot that needed to be explained on my part. "First, let's make a deal to stay cool. No getting pissed off, no screaming. Just us talking. If you hate me when it's all said and done, that's fine. You never have to speak to me again." Please don't let that be the case.
"Deal," she replied. She looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to begin.
"You've asked a lot of questions. I've heard some of the ones you may not have intended for me to hear." I paused and took a deep breath. "Ness, I'm a shape-shifter."
She looked confused. "Not a werewolf?"
"Right. What I do, it's a family thing." I continued on, telling her the just of our history and reason for existing while she picked at her rice.
She looked around shyly. "So, what does that have to do with us?" The underlying question was clear – she wanted to know why she felt the way she did toward me. Here comes the tough part.
"I'm no good at this kind of stuff. It's so complicated." I took the last bite of my rice and sat the container aside. She quickly cleaned up the mess and returned to the bed before I even had a chance to figure out what I was about to say.
She laid her head in my lap and looked up at me. Heaven. "Jacob, tell me why I can't stay away from you…why I can't get you out of my head…why even now I can't help but want to be near you," she murmured.
I got lost again. My fingertips brushed across her face and lips lightly. She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment before sitting up in front of me. My fingers still caressed her cheek while I continued to lose myself in her. There's something I'm supposed to be saying right now…
"Why?" she whispered.
My face crept closer to hers until our lips were less than an inch apart and our noses were almost touching. "Because we're soul mates," I breathed. "True soul mates in every way."
I waited for her to respond. After a few moments, her breathing and heart sped slightly and she finally whispered, "I don't…I don't understand it but I…I think I'm…in love with you," she whispered.
I let myself go. My lips crashed into hers, and I kissed her with every ounce of love and desire I had. She pulled me on top of her as she fell back against the bed. Our mouths and tongues moved together fluidly. Our hands explored each other's bodies.
"Ness, I'm sorry for all the times I've been so mean to you. Please, please forgive me," I pleaded, breaking away before things went too far.
"I forgive you." She kissed me again. "Will you forgive me?"
"Yes," I murmured against her lips. "Ness…I…" I trailed off, kissing her fervently in an attempt to buy myself the time it'd take to work up the balls to say what I really wanted to say. "I love you."
She pulled my face back to hers and continued the kiss I'd broken away from. I was slightly disappointed that she didn't respond, until her thoughts flowed freely into my mind. I'm yours. My heart belongs to you. I love you.
I pulled my lips from hers. "Say it," I said softly. "I need to hear you say it. Out loud."
"Jacob, I…I love you. I've never felt this way before. I didn't even know what it was." She stopped talking and kissed me again, tenderly this time. "I love you," she murmured against my lips. My heart exploded. Life couldn't get better than this.
"I love you, Ness," I whispered back.
She wiggled beneath me for a moment then her shirt and bra were off. Her skin pressed against my already bare chest. I could feel her taut nipples and the exact shape of those perfect breasts. I kissed her even deeper and she moved her center to press against my erection. Her hands slid all over my skin and I could feel everything she felt…the lust, the desire, and best of all, the love. Please, Jacob. Make love to me.
She didn't have to tell me twice. My mouth moved from her lips, slowly and lightly down her neck, over her chest, until finally reaching her breasts. I placed light, open-mouthed kisses all over each of them before taking one of her nipples into my mouth. She sighed again and again as I nipped and flicked.
"Touch me," she pleaded with a stifled moan.
My hand slid down her smooth stomach and gently pulled her tiny shorts off. I could smell her arousal before, but with the shorts gone it was even more potent. My erection was begging to slip inside. Over the outside of her saturated panties, I took a moment to pay special attention to her clit. I wanted – no, I needed to taste. My mouth moved slowly down her stomach, placing hot kisses all over it. She moaned and writhed while I teased her.
Ness's impatience with me grew and she took matters into her own hands, ripping off her panties so there was nothing to block my fingers from having full access to her. I took a second to admire the beauty of her sex – perfectly trimmed with just a little line of hair at the top.
"Please," she begged.
I let one finger dip inside her body. She immediately responded with a low moan. I brought my face down and flicked her clit with my tongue. Her legs shook in response. Just like the night before, she orgasmed in seconds. I wondered if it was an imprint thing or a Ness thing. I'd gone down on Kimber tons of times and never once did she respond like this.
"Jacob, I need you inside me," Ness breathed between moans.
I sat up and jerked my shorts off. Her mouth wrapped around my length before I even realized she was coming toward me. She sucked and bobbed like something straight out of an adult film, staring up at me through her thick lashes the entire time. Fuck.
Her fingernails came up and stroked my balls lightly, sending a fresh jolt of lust through my body. After a few minutes of the best damn blow job a guy could imagine, she pulled away from my body and laid back. I missed her mouth already, but wanted her pussy even more.
She played with herself and watched me as I stared at her in awe. She was the sexiest thing ever. Her free hand grabbed my arm and she pulled me on top of her. Our mouths instantly collided and moved together in heated desire. Her hand wrapped around my cock and she flicked my head against her sensitive nub, moaning and panting in pleasure. Her warm pussy lips against my cock made me groan, too. She felt so damn perfect, like we were made for each other.
The moment she slid me inside her, it felt like my world was complete. Everything felt so intense. Her lips parted from mine. We were both gasping for air.
"Make love to me, Jacob," she said softly. The way my name rolled off her tongue was nothing short of gratifying.
I began to move in and out of her body slowly. She took every inch of me. A perfect fit. My lips returned to hers. We shared tender, passionate kiss after kiss. My fingers wound into her soft hair. Hers moved from my hair to my back and biceps, gently squeezing and pulling. Our moans were muffled by our kisses, but the neighbors probably still heard us.
Ness shared all three of her orgasms with me through touch. I felt her fourth one coming and decided to finally allow myself release. My speed increased and her moans against my mouth got even louder. Her breathing sped to the point where she had to break away from our kiss. She panted and moaned while I let out a few grunts. My cock swelled and throbbed inside her body, the beginnings of my load shooting into her.
The proclamations of love that poured from her mouth intensified my orgasm. She let out a loud moan against my mouth as her climax peaked at the same time as mine.
I laid beside her and pulled her with me, never letting our bodies detach. My hands roamed all over her sweat-covered body, taking mental notes of every curve and dip, memorizing every inch. We lay together like that for several minutes, both whispering our love to one another and sharing light kisses.
My personal heaven was disrupted by the smell of something disgustingly sweet lingering outside the door. Ness noticed my body stiffen beneath her.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
And then she smelled him.
A/N: Feel free to leave me a little review if you loved (or hated) the chapter. How'd you feel about the "I love you" scene? Did it leave you smiling or feeling disappointed?
Reviews brighten my day and remind me that there's a reason I take the time to post rather than write for my own enjoyment (which is my primary reason for writing).