Disclaimer: I still don't own Danny Phantom. Butch Hartman does, and I somehow doubt that will be changing any time soon. Since I'm not making any money from this, there is nothing for the law-ninjas to sue out of me.
Author's Note: Ha! You didn't think I'd get it done before the end of the weekend, did you? It was tough, but I managed it! And it's a long chapter, to boot! Anyway, hope you enjoy it, reviews are always appreciated!
And if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go hide in the bunker again.
Chapter 7: Old Scars
"Forgive me, for I don't know what I gain
Alone in this garden of pain
Enchantment has but one truth:
I weep to have what I fear to lose"
-"Gethsemane" - Nightwish
It was one thing to claim that talking to an unstable ghost was a good idea. It was another entirely to actually approach said unstable ghost to do it. Plus there was no telling what Plasmius wanted to talk to Danny about around the corner.
I can do this. I want to major in psychology, after all! Jazz forced herself to ignore her own misgivings about the situation. She was right, she had to be! Jasmine Fenton was never wrong, after all! The redhead carefully approached Phantom, the ghost so far unresponsive to her presence. He was muttering to himself, a broken train of half-sentences and garbled whimpers.
Aware that Sam and Tucker were both watching her intently, Jazz knelt next to the ghost, surveying him at close range. It was profoundly creepy; physically speaking, Phantom looked like a grown up version of her little brother: if he was standing upright, Jazz would probably have barely been eye level with him. Phantom was twenty-four years old, but Jazz couldn't help but think of him as far younger than Danny. He just seemed so vulnerable, his apparent inability to function on any rational level lent a childlike ambience to the pale-haired boy- no, he was a grown man, no longer a child.
And forced to grow up all alone, if what Danny told me is accurate. Jazz frowned. There would be no helping it; Phantom didn't seem to even be aware that she was there: she would have to speak first. The redhead wanted to give him a reassuring hug or pat on the shoulder, but refrained from doing so. Phantom would likely panic at physical contact in his current irrational state, and she didn't want to provoke him. Calming him down was the first priority.
How should I even address him? Jazz mused as she tried to think of how to start things off. No one knew how the older ghost even identified himself. From what Sam and Tucker had explained of that confrontation in front of FentonWorks a week ago, Sam had managed to stall the fused version just by calling him Danny. It wasn't much of a lead, but anything was better than nothing.
"Danny?" She finally inquired, though the name came out as more of a squeak than the confident tone she had been aiming for.
Phantom reacted to the sound, curling up tighter where he lay. "No, they're all dead, it's my fault-"
Jazz frowned, listening to the mumbled denial. Clearly this was above and beyond a mild case of the disorder; this was part PTSD, and part simple, absolute catatonic hysteria. What had this ghost from the future done? From what she'd been told, the total destruction of Amity Park and easily half of the Ghost Zone were all the doing of this warped future ghost. Danny had gotten really quiet whenever he tried to describe what he had seen in that future; whatever had happened to Phantom also troubled her little brother.
"Hey, listen to me!" Jazz was surprised to find herself starting to get mildly annoyed the same way she did when her brother (or her parents) didn't listen to her sound advice.
"I don't think it's working, Jazz." Sam helpfully pointed out as she walked over to join the redhead.
"Yeah. He's not listening." Tucker agreed, peering down at the ghost. "Heck, I don't think he's even hearing us."
"Like he's off in his own world." Sam frowned. Clearly the goth was just as unsettled by Phantom's behavior as Jazz was.
Jazz pondered on the situation. Something had to be done to snap Phantom out of his shocked state before they could even try to calm him down. Apparently seeing Danny had made Phantom pay attention to the here and now before, but that wasn't a viable option. For one, the half-ghost was occupied elsewhere. For another, seeing Danny had made the ghost panic even more, which was just flat out counterproductive to calming him down. From what the redhead could make out of Phantom's mumbling, it sounded like he was recounting events, probably flashbacks to his original trauma or any one of the horrible things he must have done after it. He needs a metaphoric kick in the pants to pay attention to the present. Jazz mused. Or maybe a not-so-metaphoric smack upside the head.
It was a gamble. A light slap upside the head might snap Phantom back to the present. It could make the ghost panic and flee again, like he had a week ago. Worst case scenario was that he would lash out with violence. Jazz personally thought that last scenario wasn't very likely, given how the ghost had spazzed and fled when confronted with the past before. She was more worried that he might run away before she could try and get through to him, but there wasn't much choice; mere words were not yet able to get through to him.
"Danny, snap out of it!" The redhead commanded as she hauled off and gave the ghost a firm thwack across the exposed back of his head.
It wasn't a very hard slap, barely enough to sting a normal person, let alone a ghost. The effect was tremendous however; Phantom yelped almost as if burned and jumped. He tripped over his own feet and fell flat on his back, staring dazedly at the blue sky overheard.
"Wha-?" He gaped, slowly pulling himself to an upright sitting position.
"Welcome back to the present." Jazz stated dryly.
"Jazz-!" The ghost yelped, tensing as if to scramble away, green eyes wide in near-panic.
"Yes, Jazz." She confirmed, keeping her tone firm but not hostile. "Stay put."
"But-but-" Phantom stammered, voice a nearly inaudible squeak. "You- and them- and-the... the explosion and-!"
"Calm down!" Jazz knelt down again so she was eye level with the nearly hysterical ghost. "We're all perfectly fine, there wasn't any explosion, okay?"
"But I-"
"You weren't exactly yourself at the time." Sam interjected over the ghost's babble.
"You don't get it!" Phantom accused, pointing wildly at the teens. "It's not- I mean..."
Jazz waited patiently to let him try and finish whatever he was trying to explain, motioning to Sam to wait as well. Things could have gone better, but at least they hadn't gone badly. Phantom wasn't bolting in terror like he had a week ago, which was certainly progress. He was actually addressing them instead of babbling about them in panic.
"Go on." Jazz prompted Phantom as he continued to stumble over his words.
"All that... Valerie, Amity Park..." Phantom squeaked out, expression going distant and at the same time horrified, voice full of loathing. "I... I wanted that! I wanted to destroy it all!"
Jazz exchanged baffled looks with Sam and Tucker as Phantom choked on a sob, burying his face in his hands at the admission. There was definitely some merit to the redhead's post-traumatic stress disorder theory. That the ghost seemed to be disgusted with his actions was a good sign; the prognosis on any patient with a psychological disorder was significantly better if they understood and felt that the results of the disorder were wrong.
"Okay." Jazz kept her voice calm and level, recalling what she'd learned from all her psychology studies. "Can you tell us why you wanted to destroy it all?"
Phantom paused, staring at the redhead oddly, the expression eerily reminiscent of Danny's most stupefied "Huh?" face. It was understandable; most of the time when someone says they wanted to kill a bunch of people, the reaction isn't "Why?", it's expected to be disgust or abject horror. Jazz's calm demeanor clearly had the ghost at something of a loss.
"Why?" He squeaked out, peering at Jazz and lowering his hands.
"That's right." Jazz confirmed. "You had a reason, right? What was it?"
Sam and Tucker exchanged looks of mild worry. They'd assumed that all the destruction had been due to Vlad's "evil" ghost half. To hear that Phantom himself had wanted it as well was worrying to say the least. What did this say about their Danny?
"I..." Phantom stared, frowning. "After that... and... Valerie, her reaction... and then... that..."
Well, at least he's talking. That's definitely an improvement. Jazz shifted slightly so she'd be a little more comfortable.
"Maybe telling us what happened with Valerie would be a good place to start?" Sam inquired, finally taking a seat next to Phantom so that she was facing the ghost.
Phantom startled slightly at the goth's proximity, and a second time when Tucker plopped down next to Jazz. He stared at both with wide green eyes for a long moment before he averted his gaze, staring at the ground and fiddling with the toe of one boot.
"It's... nothing." He stated lamely.
"Dude, you were totally bent on trying to kill her!" Tucker protested. Jazz shot the techno-geek a dirty look, but the damage was done.
"I had a reason!" Phantom snarled as he quickly clenched a fist, expression hardening into an intense green glare that could nearly have bored holes in the asphalt.
Tucker nearly jumped at the rapid change in the ghost's demeanor. Sam flinched but forced herself to remain where she was. If she was reading Jazz's intentions right, showing fear or revulsion wasn't going to make the situation better. Sam wouldn't admit to it, but Jazz was probably the only one who had any control over the situation.
"Danny." Jazz stated in that same calm tone she'd kept to since the conversation began.
Phantom startled at the name, head jerking up to gawk at Jazz again with a confused expression. Clearly the name thing was a powerful tool in the redhead's arsenal; just addressing the ghost with it was enough to spook him out of his anger.
"Easy, he didn't mean anything about it." Sam tried to keep her own tone level, but that sudden swing in Phantom's mood had rattled her nerves slightly. Calmed down a little or not, he was still an unpredictable and extremely dangerous ghost. They were playing with fire here; it would have been much simpler to just stuff Phantom into the thermos than to take an uncertain gamble on Jazz playing at psychology.
"Uh, yeah." Tucker squeaked, straightening his beret nervously. "Is it okay to ask what that reason was?"
"I don't want to talk about it." Phantom clamped his eyes shut against some memory, clenching both fists slightly.
Tucker looked ready to press the issue, but stern looks from Sam and from Jazz made him reconsider and remain silent. Getting a patient to open up wasn't something that could be forced, and while Jazz felt that she was making definite progress with Phantom, she didn't want to push him much. Pressing the issue would only make the ghost clam up further, or even run away from the source of the pressure. He would talk when he was ready.
"That's okay, you don't have to if you don't want to." Jazz seized the conversation again. "In fact, why don't we go somewhere for a bit? You look pretty ragged."
"Go... somewhere?" Phantom looked up again, expression confused.
His confusion was mirrored by Sam and Tucker. What was Jazz thinking, where could they possibly take the ghost? He'd stand out, and not in a good way. Things would go badly quickly if Valerie saw them. Taking Phantom to FentonWorks didn't seem like a viable option either: Jack and Maddie would freak out if they saw the ghost, and given Phantom's mental condition, there was no telling how he would react to seeing them.
"That's right." Jazz nodded, apparently struck with inspiration. "Can you still transform?"
"Transform?" Phantom squeaked.
"That's right!" Sam's eyes widened. "You could before, right? That was you that afternoon before the C.A.T.!"
Phantom cringed at the reminder. He hadn't even considered that option. In his fused state, he had been able to transform despite technically being completely a ghost without a shred of humanity left to him. Well, transform wasn't exactly the right word, it had been more like a poorly-fitting disguise. Still, it had gotten the job done well enough when the ghost had been trying to ensure that his past didn't change.
"If we go anywhere, what about Danny?" Tucker glanced at Jazz, then at Phantom. "Ur... other Danny. Younger Danny. Yeah."
Jazz considered that. There was no telling what Plasmius wanted to talk to Danny about, but the older ghost hadn't seemed terribly hostile. "He's got his phone, right?"
"Well... yeah." Sam admitted.
"Then he can call us, or we can call him." Jazz nodded sagely, before turning to address Phantom again. "So, will you at least try?"
The ghost stared at Jazz with wide, scared eyes. Phantom was at a loss for what to do with himself. Split from Plasmius, the full impact of his actions had all come crashing down at once. Every single enemy he'd defeated, every single person he had killed, every face frozen in terror: the terror that he had brought on them all. The feeling of Valerie's ribs snapping when he first tried to kill her ten years ago after he returned from Wisconsin. Ten years of trying to destroy everything that had reminded him of that terrible day when the Nasty Burger exploded. He was equally horrified by his actions of the past decade and disgusted with himself. He had wanted that, it had been his desire to blot out the painful memories that led to that destruction. All Plasmius had contributed was suppressing his conscience to the point that he had felt justified in his actions, that killing people and destroying everything was right.
This isn't right! Phantom wailed to himself. After what he'd done, the redhead should have been running in fear, or at least showing disgust , or horror.
"You're... you're not Danny! That's why the boomerang wasn't homing in on your ecto-signature. You're not Danny!"
The remark stung, coming from the mouth of a girl who was ten years dead to him. Even more so after having learned that she'd known about his secret identity all those years ago. That she'd been proud of his achievements when she was still alive.
"I was. But I grew out of it. The Danny you know is floating helplessly in the Ghost Zone ten years in the future."
Why wasn't she running away from him? Or hating him for what he was responsible for? She shouldn't have been sitting there with such a concerned look on her face, like she was simply meddling in her baby brother's business! After everything he'd done... after being responsible for her death ten years ago, he had no right to even consider the redhead his sister. Not after the horrible things he'd done!
"Why are you trying to help me?" He finally squeaked out warily.
"Why do you think?" Jazz retorted. "Family sticks together."
"But I did all-"
"I know." Jazz interrupted the ghost. "But temporally displaced or not, you're still my baby brother. And I meant it when I said I was proud of you the night before the C.A.T."
Phantom stopped short again, staring at Jazz with an expression of mixed shock, disgust, and something else that the three teens couldn't quite place. Apparently the redhead managed to hit something on the mark. He glanced at Sam and at Tucker with a searching look.
"Yeah." Sam took a shot at filling the awkward silence. "You had no way to know about the explosion, right?"
"Really, dude." Tucker agreed, though the look on his face suggested the conversation had him sufficiently weirded out. "And it turned out okay in the end. The Nasty Burger blew up, but nobody got killed."
"But I was trying to-" Phantom paused on the admission, cringing visibly. "I was... what was I doing? I tried to kill everyone!"
"But you didn't." Jass reiterated.
"Only because he stopped me!" Phantom protested. "If he... or I? Other me? I don't know!"
"Danny, calm down!" Sam snapped, cutting the ghost off from going into another panic.
"How do you know you would have gone through with it?" Jazz pointed out. "You had every opportunity to kill me the night before the C.A.T. when I confronted you about the test answers. But you didn't."
"And that was before you even got hit with the Ghostcatcher." Tucker pointed out.
"Where do you want to take me?" Phantom abruptly switched back to the earlier topic of conversation, apparently not wanting to talk about the split.
"Well, that depends mostly on whether or not you can still transform." Jazz switched gears easily, her growing confidence in the situation clear in her voice. "If you can, maybe the mall for some lunch?"
"What if he can't?" Sam glanced at the redhead, frowning. Phantom absently nodded agreement.
"If not..." Jazz frowned in thought, sizing Phantom up. "Well, you're skinny enough that some of my stuff might fit."
"Ew!" Phantom recoiled, glancing at Jazz's snug black t-shirt and slacks. "I am not wearing that!"
"I'm not talking about this!" Jazz tugged on her sleeve for emphasis. "I've got some loose t-shirts and stuff, too!"
"Maybe we could worry about that once we know if you can transform?" Tucker interjected
"Yeah, at least try it first." Sam agreed. "If not, then we worry about wardrobe."
Sam was still wary and had some doubts about the situation, but it did seem that Jazz was making surprising progress with the ghost. Sam wouldn't admit it, but the idea of finding some other way to deal with Danny's alternate future self that didn't involve Danny getting beat to a pulp was a very attractive option. Still, what could be done with the ghost from an alternate timeline? And what about Plasmius? Vlad's alternate future ghost self was obviously up to something, what would the archvillain do?
"You mean it?" Phantom asked, slowly getting to his feet.
"Of course we mean it!" Jazz confirmed, also getting on her feet and confirming her earlier assessment: Standing upright she was barely eye level with the ghost.
"Besides, if you go around looking like that, Valerie might get her nose bent out of shape." Sam stood up, feeling a bit shorter than normal next to Phantom.
"Valerie..." Phantom cringed, briefly clenching his fists. "I don't want to see her. I don't want to talk to her. If I do, I might-!"
"You don't have to talk to anyone you don't want to." Jazz gave Phantom a reassuring pat on the shoulder, the ghost flinching slightly at the contact. "I promise."
Phantom got an unreadable expression on his face at the redhead's promise, and took a couple of steps away from the teens. "Okay... I'll try."
Nothing happened for several seconds despite the look of intense concentration on Phantom's face. When the white energy rings finally appeared around the ghost's waist, their upward and downward motion was sluggish; the look on Phantom's face indicated it was taking a great deal of effort to force the transformation. It was nothing like how rapidly Danny could switch between forms, the teen half-ghost could change in the blink of an eye.
After several seconds of effort that left Phantom nearly gasping for breath, the rings vanished and he collapsed to his hands and knees. The black bodysuit was replaced now with tattered jeans, the cuffs frayed, holes worn in the knees; and a grey t-shirt, its red trimming faded almost to brown. Most noticeably strange was that Phantom retained his height, and green eye color, and his hair while now black still had a frosting of white.
"Well... that's not what I was expecting." Tucker quipped.
"Are you okay?" Jazz knelt to help Phantom get back up.
"I guess? Maybe? No? I don't know!" Phantom cringed as he staggered back to his feet with the redhead's help. "It hurt."
"That's not right." Sam frowned, both relieved and concerned that Phantom's "human" appearance wasn't what anyone had been expecting.
"What hurt, exactly?" Jazz inquired.
"I dunno." Phantom mumbled. "Everything."
Sam and Tucker exchanged looks. That didn't sound right at all. Danny had never complained about changing forms ever hurting. Then again, whenever Danny transformed, it was done in a flash; if something hurt in the process, maybe it just never had a chance to register on the half-ghost.
"Does it still hurt?" Jazz pressed as she started for where her car was parked nearby.
Phantom paused before shakily following the redhead. "No... not now. Well, maybe a little... a headache?"
"So, Jazz, where are we going?" Sam raised an eyebrow as the group congregated near the car.
"The mall is fine." Phantom stated quietly. "She said we could go there."
Another awkward silence fell as the group climbed into the car. Sam grabbed her phone and dialed Danny as Jazz started the vehicle and pulled out of the school parking lot.
"Hey, Danny, you're still talking with Vlad?" Sam asked after a moment, then pausing as she listened to the reply. "Whoa, whoa, wait. He said what? They...-"
The goth paused, glancing at the front passenger seat where Phantom was seated, then at Tucker next to her in the back.
"Um, no. Nothing's wrong here. No, actually. He's calmed down now. Yeah, I know what the plan was at first. Don't worry. We've got things under control. Yeah, Jazz did." Sam paused again, Danny's reply over the phone was a bit lengthy. "No, don't worry. We're heading toward the mall. Right. Don't worry, Danny! If anything happens we'll call. Right. Talk to you later."
"Did he say what the fruit loop wanted?" Tucker asked as Sam flipped her phone shut.
"Oh, they're still talking." Sam gave Tucker a pointed look.
"I don't like him." Phantom clamped his eyes shut up front. "He was... so calm. About everything."
"Calm?" Jazz glanced over. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Sam flipped her phone back open and started punching buttons. A moment later, Tucker's PDA beeped, signaling a text message. The techno-geek shot Sam a baffled look and fished the device from his pocket.
:Don't say anything. Vlad wants Danny's help. If they don't fuse back, they're both going to die.:
Tucker's eyes went wide as he read the message, mouth hanging open about to speak when a stern look from Sam made him shut his mouth. Glancing briefly at the front of the car, he started punching away on the PDA.
"After the explosion. And..." Phantom spoke haltingly. "... And after Valerie-"
Sam looked at her phone, reading Tucker's reply.
:They're both ghosts! Does that mean they'll both vanish?:
"Go on." Jazz coaxed, though she wanted to ask what precisely it was Valerie had done that had such a lasting effect on the ghost.
"At the castle. We were there... it was morning, during breakfast. He suggested the operation." Phantom stared down at his hands. "He was so calm. Like talking about the weather, not about ripping me in half."
:I guess so. Danny sounded upset on the phone. I think they're arguing about it.: Sam glanced up from her phone at the ghost in the front seat.
"Did he force you into it?" Jazz asked, sparing Phantom a longer glance since the car was at a red light.
"N-no. He didn't." Phantom frowned. "I... agreed. But then it went wrong! The operation... I was so angry, and it hurt and he was there and so calm and..."
"Why were you angry?" Jazz picked up the slack when the ghost trailed off into silence again.
:So unless future-Danny and future-Vlad fuse back into that guy again, all of this is for nothing? Should we TELL him?: Tucker's expression indicated the shock that the text message couldn't convey. Sam shook her head once and started typing a reply.
"I... dunno." Phantom admitted. "I was so mad. It was all my fault that you guys all- if I hadn't cheated on that test, then none of it would have-!"
"So you were mad at yourself, and took it out on him?" Jazz asked. "What happened?"
"It went wrong." Phantom repeated. "I... like you said. I took it out on him, ripped him in half."
:How do you think he'd react to hearing that right now?: Sam's text message replied, though it was evident she was listening intently to the conversation in the front seat.
"Dude, that is pretty creepy." Tucker chipped in from the back seat.
"I don't know what I was thinking." Phantom whimpered, hands clutching tightly at the hem of his shirt. "I was so mad, and then... then it happened."
"'It?'" Sam asked, frowning. It was one thing to be told that the two ghost-halves had been fused. It was disturbing to actually hear the sordid details of the matter.
"When he and I... that's... it hurt." Phantom's explanation got more disjointed as he continued. "Then other me was awake and..."
"Other me?" Jazz raised an eyebrow at the description.
"My... human self." Phantom haltingly clarified. "Both of them. They were arguing... or panicking? Then I... I was so mad, and he was so weak, and I... I blamed him, it was his fault we couldn't save anybody. I had do... to do something... I was so mad that if I didn't... I thought I would explode from it... I was just... I wanted to forget."
Awkward silence fell over the car at the indirect admission. All Danny had explained was that Vlad in that alternate future wouldn't tell the half-ghost what had become of his alternate future human half. Phantom's halting explanation made it pretty clear that Danny Fenton had faced a horrible fate in that dark future, the first murder in the fused ghost's ten year reign of madness.
:That is just creepy. No wonder he's all messed up.: Sam's phone beeped to let her know she had another message.
"So you wanted to forget everything, then?" Jazz brought the car to a halt in an uncrowded back parking lot of the mall. "So to try and block out those memories, you tried to destroy it?"
Phantom nodded once, eyes shut against the memory, barely choking out a horrified confirmation. "I destroyed everything else that mattered. So... I thought... well... that was all I was good for."
"Even if you blamed yourself, what about all the times you did save people?" Jazz asked as she shut the car off. "You saved me from Spectra, remember. And the entire city from the ghost king."
"But I still... I screwed up." The ghost protested as the group climbed out of the car. "I couldn't help anyone when it mat-"
Phantom stopped and froze with a gasp, green eyes darting left and right, searching in a panic. His sudden silence and tension did not go unnoticed.
Jazz glanced at the ghost. "Is something wrong?"
"No." Phantom shook his head, trying to make himself relax. "Yes? Maybe? I-"
The jittery ghost was interrupted by a voice from above.
"Well, I was looking for Daniel, but perhaps the four of you can tell me what I want to know."
Author's Notes: Hope you people who wanted more Phantom are happy now! Just four chapters left until this fic is complete! After that, I intend to sit down and write Christmas in Wisconsin and hopefully finish that in time for the holidays. And then after that, the finale to my little TUE-inspired trilogy-in-four-parts. Unlike Benediction though, Indemnification is going to truly be a sequel to my other stories. If you haven't read Jeremiad and Anathema yet, I highly recommend it if you intend to read Indemnification. Otherwise some stuff may not make sense.
Anyway! As per usual, a great big shout out (and pumpkin pie!) to my awesome readers and reviewers: Arabic Blessing, PotterPhan21, Pieling, Punker88, Tornada Silverwind, CharmedNightSkye, i AM the Random Idiot, Sasia93, The Fluff Ghost, Anne Camp aka Obi-quiet, Sapphire Wolf Master, StarsOfTwilight, and WTFWonder! And also a multitude of thanks and praise to my sister and Devil Muse, One Amahira. She was my beta reader for this chapter, and source of useful information on character psychology relating to various disorders and their treatment. See ya next time!