Chapter 11 – Warm Fuzzies

A/N: Thanks to my betas, DeeDreamer and TwilightHeart21!

The last chapter left us with Warren showing his true colors, Ness planning a weekend trip to Atlanta, and Jacob spilling that he's Alpha.

Thanks for the awesome reviews! I'm thinking about getting on the twitter (lol...Anyone else know where that came from?). I'm posting this a little early for a couple of gals who are up late and gabbing about my fic :-)

I still don't own Twilight.

NPOV

I didn't ever want to say goodbye to him.

We managed to entertain each other all day and well into the evening. It was so strange to enjoy a guy's company like that. He was so different from anything I'd ever experienced. He was playful and God was he sexy, but he was also so sweet and tender...and the strangest part was that I actually liked it. The way he held my hand gave me butterflies. His random touches and gazes made my heart flutter. I always thought things like that were for schmucks, but it was so perfect.

In the one weekend we'd known each other, we had sex one and a half times. As much as I really wanted him, I decided to at least try to control myself until the following weekend when we went to Atlanta together. Four days. I could keep myself under control for four days.

I kept that in mind all day and managed to keep from crawling all over him every time the opportunity presented itself, like when we were in the car or the restaurant parking lot. You'd think after the countless times he'd gotten me off, I'd be sated...but I wasn't.

I was addicted and in need of another hit…then another…and another.

When the night came to an end, it almost hurt. This had been the best weekend of my life and I didn't want it to be over. Tomorrow it would be back to reality: school, homework, and not being able to spend every second with this amazing person. When we got back to the dorm, he walked me to my door. He was holding my hand and doing this rubbing thing with his pinky that made my heart beat in ways I didn't entirely understand.

When we reached my door, Jacob turned me around to face him. I knew he wasn't coming in, something about his posture made it clear that this was goodbye. My eyes moved up his chest, the lines in his neck, across that strong jawbone that just begged to be nipped at, and up to his dark chocolate browns. It was like he could actually warm my soul just by looking into my eyes.

He didn't speak for a moment and I wished more than anything I could read his mind. I wanted to ask when we could see each other again, but didn't want to seem obsessed. No matter how short the amount of time that would bass before we'd see each other again, it would still be too long.

Then there were things I wanted to say but didn't have the nerve...I love you, I never want to be away from you...

Fuck, we were still holding hands. The way his entire face warmed and glowed at the same time made it pretty evident that he heard my humiliating thoughts. He only squeezed my hand tighter as I blushed bright red. He dropped it to wrap his thick arms around my waist and pull me against him.

"Can I see you tomorrow after class?" he asked quietly into my ear. The heat of his breath sent a very not-cold chill through my body.

I only nodded, too embarrassed to speak.

Then he said something I didn't understand in a language I didn't even recognize. The way it rolled off his tongue could only be described as beautiful. His nose trailed down my neck, eliciting another not-cold shiver, before he came back and placed one kiss below my ear. This was going to be a long four days.

"G'night Ness," he whispered then said something else equally unrecognizable and beautiful.

"Tell me," I pleaded as he began to pull away from our embrace.

"What?" he asked, shrugging nonchalantly.

"What does it mean?" My voice came out all wrong. I was so lost in the moment…in him.

He brought his face back down to mine and gave me a kiss that made my legs feel unsteady. I almost moaned just from a kiss. His mouth moved across my cheek and over to my ear. "Everything you didn't say out loud."

I couldn't help myself. I pressed my body against his. Not like this...I want this to be right...

"See you tomorrow afternoon," he murmured. I was so lost in him that it took me a second to register that he was about to leave. He kissed my lips one more time and stepped back, leaving me breathless and wanting so much more.

Act normal for fuck's sake; you just met him two days ago...

"Bye," I said in the most "normal" voice I could muster, but I was still pretty hypnotized. I forced my feet to move and my hand to open the door, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from his as he walked down the hall toward the elevator, craning his neck to keep his eyes on me.

Ella yanked my arm and pulled me into the room. Any other time that would have been impossible, but I was so...lost…that my body was like Jell-O. She closed the door and I collapsed onto my bed.

So. Fucking. Amazing.

So this is what being in love is like? My brain kept going through this cycle of everything Jacob...his touch, smile, lips, the little indention in his chin, how warm he was, those deep eyes, the way his voice vibrated against every bone in my body, his kisses, his scent...everything. Nothing in the world could bring me back to reality. I wanted to fall into a sea of Jacob and never come back.

I wasn't sure if it had been a few minutes or an hour, but eventually, Ella's voice managed to bring me back to the real world.

"Hmm?" I asked.

"Are you watching this?"

The only thing I was watching was a replay of my Jacob fantasies from earlier. Four fucking days. "No," I mumbled.

"You're in deep," Ella said.

"Whaddya mean?"

"You really like him, huh?"

Like? LIKE? Understatement of the year. Mesmerized...addicted...so in love I don't even understand it...

But I couldn't share all that. "You have no idea."

"Spill already! Come on, you guys spent the whole weekend together. Give me something. Just a little drop of juiciness," she begged.

I'd never had to deal with this sort of girly, gossipy bullshit. I'd only seen it on TV. "Umm... he's a really great guy," I said, though it came out sounding more like a question. What did she want me to say? That I was insanely in love and he was hung like a whale?

"Come on, Ness. We're supposed to be friends!" she replied pleadingly.

I huffed and decided to be "normal" for a few minutes. "We sort of…click. I've never had feelings for a guy before so it's all new to me."

"What about that blonde guy?" she prodded.

"He was never anything more than a friend. Jacob does these things to me that always made me cringe with Warren...like the way he touches my hair and kisses me so...I don't know..." What's a good word to describe it without sounding like an obsessed crazy person who is madly in love with someone she just met? "…softly." I was far gone now. My mind was fuzzy and thoughts of Jacob entranced me.

"You've seriously never had feelings for a guy before?" She plopped down into her bed which was across from mine.

If only I could tell her the truth, she'd understand. "Not once," I replied instead.

I was surprised that I managed to hold a decent conversation with Ella without giving too much away, but when Monday morning rolled around, my mood quickly soured. The day dragged on; classes felt like they were the longest ever. The highlight of my morning was when I arrived in Calculus and found a pen in the floor beside my desk that was unmistakably Jacob's. His scent was all over it and my desk.

Like a fourteen year old girl, I used the pen for the rest of the day and felt this giddiness every time I pulled it out. I thought about biting on it just to see if it tasted like him. The only thing that stopped me was that I found it lying on the ground. Eww.

I kept doing things without consciously deciding to, like touching the stupid pen to my cheek and neck, as if the thing could grow lips and kiss me. I'd catch myself doing it and try to snap back into reality, but the subconscious mind was an impossible thing to beat.

I called Warren between classes. Not that I particularly wanted to talk to him, but I needed to. I felt obligated to. At minimum, I needed to know if he was planning on sticking around the house. I wouldn't kick him out if he wanted to stay, but I sure wasn't about to waste my money on rent if he was going back to California.

He didn't answer. I didn't leave a message and decided this would be the last time I called. He knew my number and where to find me. If I didn't hear from him in a couple of weeks, I'd check the house to see if there was any sign of him.

Warren was once someone I held close to my heart, but after our last encounter, I was left feeling burned. Jacob was important to me – immensely more than Warren had ever been – and I wouldn't drag myself down by worrying about his doings. Jacob deserved better of me…and I deserved better for myself.

Much to my satisfaction, Kimber wasn't in class. I'd been nervous about facing her all morning. I didn't want to hate her, but if she wanted to be a bitch then two could play that game. Maybe having one more day to cool off would help matters.

Part of me couldn't blame her for reacting the way she did. Before Friday, I would have been pretty upset if some strange girl waltzed into Warren's life and claimed him as hers after knowing him for one weekend.

Kimber and Jacob weren't exclusive, but by the things Jacob said about their history, I could tell that at one point they'd at least been good friends, the way Warren and I were. Jacob said he didn't want to have anything to do with her. He seemed to mean it, but I couldn't imagine dropping a friend just because you decided to not have sex with them anymore.

The only reason Warren and I couldn't remain friends was because he was in love with me from the beginning. I wasn't jealous of Kimber, and if Jacob wanted to be friends with her, I was willing to accept it. But I didn't foresee him going out of his way to maintain any kind of friendship with her.

I spotted Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome leaning against my car as I left my last class. His eyes locked with mine the second I walked out the door. He was standing there in this snug-fitting polo shirt and his jeans hung on hips in such a way that made me want to rip them off and roll my tongue all over his pelvic bone.

He was smiling and looking every bit like a dark-skinned God. I realized a few seconds too late that my face was fucking beaming with excitement and I was doing this half-skip-half-walk thing towards him. No sense in trying to hide it now. It was ridiculous how much like a teenage girl I was being…all lovesick and infatuated…only the feelings I held for him were much more than infatuation.

As I came closer, his face began to resemble mine. He dropped the whole Rico Suave act and a bright smile came across his glorious lips. When I was just a few feet away from him, I decided I wouldn't make the first move. I wanted to run, crash into his arms, kiss him with everything I had in me, and tell him out loud that I was desperately in love with him.

But I wouldn't.

I needed to be sure he wanted me like that. It seemed like he did, but what if the time we'd spent apart made him realize how insane this all was? Insane or not, I wanted it…but I wouldn't force myself on him, especially not here in front of so many people, unsure if he'd accept my affection or not. Talk about humiliation.

My ridiculous skip-walk slowed once I was a few feet away and I leaned against my car, leaving a couple of feet between us. He turned so that his body faced mine then pulled me against him. His smile was somewhere between impish and tender as he gazed down at me.

"Hi," was all he said. My heart did a little tumble. Fucking traitor.

"Hey," I managed to spit out through my Jacob-induced haze. His warmth enveloped me and we were in our own world.

He was so much better at this than I was. There I stood, a speechless puddle of boneless limbs against his chest, donning some ridiculous grin while he stared at me looking so charming and composed.

How did he do this to me?

Neither of us spoke for a moment. I was completely lost but I somehow managed to gather that he was, too, except his focus jumped between staring into my eyes to down my shirt. One advantage of being ridiculously tall I guess. It just made me want him more.

Finally, he leaned down to my ear. His warm breath against my skin didn't help with the whole boneless limbs thing. "Can I…umm…kiss you, Ness?" he whispered, causing my heart to damn near jump out of my chest.

I was too embarrassed and worried about how I would sound if I responded aloud. With my luck, I'd come out sounding exactly like the fourteen year old girl I was behaving like. Instead, I placed my hand against his neck. No words, just feelings…the desire, the need, to feel his lips again.

My wish was granted. His warm lips pressed against the hollow beneath my ear as he took in a slow, deliberate breath. He exhaled just as slowly and the warmth of it sent a not-cold shiver through my body. His mouth grazed my cheek before pressing a light kiss to the corner of my mouth, all the while his fingertips slid across the exposed skin on the small of my back, bringing to the forefront all of the sexual desire I was trying so hard to contain.

Nothing around us registered – no sounds or smells other than each other's. I let my eyes close so I could completely focus on feeling his touch. Then his lips met mine. My heart immediately sped up. He cupped my face in one of his huge hands while the other held me close to him by the small of my back. It felt like I'd never been kissed before. I parted my lips just a little and he took the bottom one into his mouth, tasting.

Too soon, he pulled back and left me with one almost-chaste kiss on the lips. The charming grin was gone. He looked a lot like I did – lost in something so wonderful. I wanted this every single day for the rest of my life. Nothing could possibly be better.

The honk of a car horn brought us out of our reverie…unfortunately. That cute, charming grin was back and I couldn't help but smile in return and stare at those delicious lips.

"Can I ask you a favor?" he asked. I nodded, still afraid to speak. "Will you help me with Calculus?"

"Is that the best excuse you could think of to hang out with me? Calculus?" I asked sarcastically.

He shrugged. "Would you rather I say, 'Hey Ness, I know your roommate has a night class tonight, so can we take this back to your place?'"

I rolled my eyes and laughed. The hand that was still on my back moved down until he was squeezing my ass. Three and a half fucking days. I can do this.

His adorable grin fell just a little. "I didn't want to go back to your place to have sex with you. I just want to be around you without having to share your attention with anything or anyone else," he said affectionately.

I sighed. "Why can't I keep my thoughts to myself with you?"

He tucked some stray hairs behind my ear. "I don't want you to."

What was I supposed to say to that? "Did you drive here or walk?"

"I walked. Gas costs money, ya know?" he said, opening my door for me.

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. You riding or what?" I asked jokingly. He strutted arrogantly to the passenger door and got in.

Ella's night class was four hours long and kept her out until eight twice a week. That was four uninterrupted hours Jacob and I could spend together. When we got back to the dorm, I flipped on the TV and pulled him with me to my bed. He kicked his enormous sneakers off and situated me against his body. It felt so good to finally be curled up beside him again.

Without thinking, my hand slid up his un-tucked shirt to caress his smooth chest. He let out this sexy groan that made my stomach tighten and my panties wet. One second later, he took a deep breath through his nose smelling exactly what I was hoping he wouldn't.

My body wanted him fiercely. My leg hitched higher up his hips on its own accord. His hand that rested on my knee slid up the back of my thigh and all the way to cup my ass. I gasped when he smacked it. He rolled himself on top of me, right between my legs, and pressed his hardness against my center.

"I thought you wanted to be good?" he asked in this deep, low voice that made me even wetter.

I nodded, but my hips bucking against him said something entirely different. They spoke of what I really wanted…what I absolutely ached for. He leaned down and gave me a kiss that wiped out every bit of willpower I had.

He sat back up but remained hovering over me. "I want to do this right for you…but you're making it sort of…hard for me." Hard indeed.

He moved our bodies so that I was lying beside him again. He looked about as frustrated as me. I was beginning to question myself…why did I want to wait until Friday to have sex when we'd already done it almost two times? I wanted him so fucking bad. But at the same time, I didn't want this to be all physical.

I had feelings for him, real feelings. Girls weren't supposed to act like sluts when they were in love. Maybe you could say that I'd acted like a slut with Warren, and that I'd already acted like a slut with Jacob, too. Did that mean it was too late to make it right? Did I even want to make it right? Why should I? Because it's what human society says is right? Because when you're in love, you have to follow some certain process? Get to know each other and all that shit?

I wished I had someone I could talk to about it, but I didn't. There was more to Jacob and me than just normal human love. Our connection was so much more than anything even I understood. No way in hell was I calling anyone in my family about it, either. We could keep ourselves in check until Friday. It just felt like what should be done. If I couldn't do it right from the beginning, I could at least try to make it right after the fact.

"I'm sorry…I just…I don't know. Do you think I'm being stupid?" I asked, avoiding his gaze.

"If you want to wait a little while, that's fine with me. I don't think you're being stupid. I never thought you were a slut, either. It's whatever you want, Ness. I'll wait as long as you want, years even. I can't help wanting you, but I can wait."

I wanted to give our relationship at least a little time to grow before getting too physical. There was so much we didn't know about each other, so much to learn. I wanted to have time for us to talk and bond.

"I can be good," I swore, mostly to myself. "Does that mean I can't touch you like this?" I asked, slipping my hand up his shirt to feel the warm, soft skin there. I watched his expression change, his eyes became hooded.

"Mmm…it…feels so good. I can't even…think." His voice was deep and husky; too damn sexy. I could tell by his breathing that my hand on his stomach wasn't doing either of us any good.

"How about this instead?" I asked, sidling up his body until I could reach to massage his head. The tension in his face faded and he closed his eyes.

"I love…that," he murmured. I wished he'd said I love…you.

I kept massaging his scalp while we pretended to watch a movie. When Jacob's eyes were open, they were on me. My mind kept running through the same questions that I wanted to ask, one sticking out more than the rest, one that would be more important than any other. How would he react to my parents? My very vampire parents?

"Jacob?"

"Hmm?" he mumbled while looked down at me through half-closed eyes.

I swallowed hard and took a second to build up my courage. "I want to ask you something. Will you be honest with me?"

His eyes opened completely. I had his full attention. "Okay." His voice was sure but a little nervous.

"Do you hate all vampires? Even the ones who don't hurt humans?" I asked shyly.

Jacob sighed nervously. "I've had alliances with a few that didn't harm humans. I didn't really like them, but I tolerated them. I don't put up with ones who kill, though. Ever."

This wasn't going the way I hoped. "Jacob, I love my family. I don't expect you to meet them anytime soon, but are you going to be okay with them when you do?" Please say yes.

"Your family is the reason you're alive. I could never hate anyone that brought you into this world…even if your dad is an ass," he added jokingly.

I was so relieved. If Jacob could accept my family, maybe they could accept him, too. Maybe if I called them regularly to gush about how insanely happy he made me, they'd just be happy that I was happy and ignore the fact that he isn't their particular brand of supernatural.

I wanted to tell them about Jacob. I wanted to tell everyone in the world how amazing he was, how he made me smile every second we were together and kept me smiling even when we were apart, how I didn't know being with someone could feel this good.

But I knew that now wasn't the time. If it got around to my dad that I was having anything to do with anyone but Warren, he'd be knocking down my door in less than four hours.

With this very important issue out of the way, I decided that everything else could wait. I fell asleep on Jacob's chest. It didn't matter that I was wearing jeans and had clips in my hair. I was perfectly comfortable wrapped in his arms.

I barely stirred when he pulled away to take off my jeans and was lulled right back to sleep, his fingers lightly skimming the exposed skin on my back. When he moved again to get out of my bed, I clutched him tighter. Some part of my subconscious knew he needed to go home, but I really wanted him to stay. It didn't take him much effort to remove my sleepy, limp arms from his torso.

He spoke those beautiful words again, the ones I couldn't identify the language they belonged to. His voice made my heart melt. I didn't know exactly what they meant, but I had a pretty good idea. All of this barely registered through my sleepy fog.

Three days. My body physically ached for him, but it was so much more than that carnal desire to be claimed. I'd been fucked more than I cared to remember. I wanted to be loved.

A/N:

Just a bit of fluff before the action begins.

It's been a while since you've had any citrus. I hope you're ready, because the next chapter is guaranteed to deliver.

If this chapter gave you the warm fuzzies and made you wish you had your own Jacob, leave me a review :-)