In the days that followed, Edward made himself scarce. At first Bella gave him space, knowing he was dealing with the difficulty of coming to terms with his new role in her life. But when the third day passed without him being at school, she could no longer ignore the pit of worry in her stomach. At lunch, she headed over to the table where Edward usually sat, coming face to face with a very apologetic-looking Alice.

"What's going on?" she demanded, sinking into the empty chair next to the dark-haired girl, already feeling apprehensive as Alice's golden eyes fixed on hers with hesitation.

"Bella," she said gently by way of a greeting, but then she fell silent again. Jasper stood and left the cafeteria, leaving the two girls alone.

"Alice," she said, making her words gentler this time. "Where is he?"

She let out a long sigh. "Home," she said heavily. "He's taking some time off school."

"Because of me," Bella said, not needing the confirmation, just knowing it was true.

"Bella," she said gently. "This is really hard for him. But he's trying."

"I know it's hard," she said stubbornly. "But I'm trying so hard not to shut him out of my life. It hurts that he's not making the same effort." Alice looked a little uncomfortable for a moment, and Bella pushed her. "What?"

"It's just… sometimes it's hard to be friends after a breakup, Bella. I mean… you two were so in love. You were going to leave this life behind to be a member of our family. And now you've chosen that- that-" She broke off, taking a deep breath, lowering her voice to a whisper. "That werewolf." Bella could tell that she had originally planned to say something much worse, but held herself back, just as Jacob tried to hold himself back from using the words 'tick,' 'mosquito,' and 'bloodsucker' that his pack mates were so fond of.

"I do love him," she said softly. "I always will. But Jacob and I are together now and I owe it to him and myself to give that a chance. I wish Edward would understand that."

Alice covered Bella's hand with her own. "It's not that he doesn't understand," she said gently. "It's just… you're the first and only girl he's ever loved. It hurts to see you with someone else, and it hurts to try to stay friends."

"But wouldn't it hurt more not to be friends?" Bella insisted. "I mean, if I just cut him straight out of my life, wouldn't that be like a hundred times worse?" She was thinking of her own experience, the terrible agony she felt when Edward left Forks- surely what he was feeling now couldn't top that?

A long silence passed between them before Alice said, very gently, "Pain is a funny thing, Bella. It doesn't change how much something hurts just to know that something else might hurt worse."

With those words, Bella felt an incredible guilt rise up from her belly, almost like a physical weight in her chest, as though she was about to vomit. Her eyes filled with tears but she forced them not to fall. Instead, she laid her head on Alice's shoulder, letting the other girl wrap an arm around her and gently squeeze her close.

"I don't know how to live my life without hurting people," she said softly. "It seems like no matter what I do, someone loses."

"You can't please everyone, Bella," Alice said gently. "Sometimes you just have to make choices that are right for you and live with the consequences."

Bella pulled back quickly, looking into Alice's golden eyes. "But you can see, right?" she asked eagerly. "You can see if I'm supposed to be with Edward or Jacob, right?"

Alice shook her head sadly. "I can't see past the wolves, Bella," she said gently. "You know that."

"But Edward…"

"Right now, his future's still tied to yours," she answered softly. "So much so that I can't see it either."

Bella let out a long breath of air and dropped her head back on Alice's shoulders. "Sometimes I feel like I'm dealing with stuff way outside my emotional capacity," she complained.

"Well, you sort of are," Alice said sympathetically. "I don't think anyone could really argue that."

"I love Jacob," she said, her voice a whisper.

"For reasons I'll never understand," Alice answered dryly. She gave Bella's shoulders a small squeeze. "But because I love you, I don't need to."

Bella couldn't help but smile. Alice was a great friend; the best. "I just wish you could all stop fighting," she said, a complaint she'd made too many times over the past few months, to both sides.

She shrugged. "You can't stop cats and dogs and you can't stop us."

"But is that going to last forever?" Bella asked. "Can't you guys just bury the hatchet or whatever?" Alice's eyes glinted with a sparkle she got whenever Bella said something funny. "What?" she asked, pulling back to give the other girl a good-natured glare. "What did I say?"

"No, I'm sorry," Alice answered. "It's not that funny. It's just that 'bury the hatchet' is a Native American expression, so what you said struck me as ironic."

Bella made a face. "Oh, okay." She rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at Alice. "Well, all the more that they should, then," she argued.

"Well, maybe you should bring that up to them," Alice teased. "I know Carlisle would be open to a dialogue about it. He'd even bring a real hatchet, if it would help."

"Yeah, yeah, okay, I'm good at sticking my foot in my mouth, I get it," Bella answered, smirking a little.

Alice's voice softened as she said more seriously, "Bella. With Edward… it won't always be like this. I don't need to see the future to know that. One way or another, change is inevitable."

Bella smiled as the bell rang for next period. "Thanks, Alice," she said. "Really, I feel better."

"Good," she answered. "Now if only Edward would listen to my sage advice."

"Get Jasper to magic him," Bella suggested, half-joking.

Alice smiled sadly. "You know it doesn't work like that," she said, sounding genuinely sorry for it. But she shrugged her shoulders, shaking it off. "Well, I have to get to chemistry. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, absolutely," Bella answered, waving as Alice moved off towards her class. Bella followed the throngs of kids into the hallway, but she barely noticed the faces and chatter around her. Alice's sadness had rubbed off, and for the rest of the school day she was preoccupied with thoughts of Edward.

Jacob was a good distraction. As usual, he waited at his motorcycle when the final bell rang, and he was content with a hug and a smile before waiting for Bella to climb on the bike behind him and heading off toward La Push. But after a good hour of television had passed at Jacob's house and barely a word had been uttered by either of them, he reached over and put his hand on top of her homework, setting his own aside.

Bella looked at him, his brown eyes soft with concern. He was really beautiful, strong and soft at the same time, warm and caring. Gentle. He reached out a hand and tucked it into her hair, sweeping it back over her ear as he gazed at her. "Hey," he said softly when her eyes met his for the first time since he'd picked her up.

"Hey," she answered, her lips curling up slightly as she felt the warmth of his love pass from his eyes and into her heart. She didn't know how he did that, but it was one of his secret gifts.

"Where have you been all day?" he asked.

She let out a long breath. "Nowhere," she answered. "I'm sorry, I've just been… preoccupied, I guess."

"Is anything wrong?" he asked, concerned. He sat back on the couch, raising an arm to invite her in, and Bella curled into his side, resting her head against his chest.

"Not really," she said, and the lie was like a sour taste in her throat. But how could she explain? She didn't want him to think that while she was spending time with him, she was worrying about Edward.

Jacob's hands were absently threading through her hair, his chest rising and falling under her cheek. She could feel his heartbeat, the movement of his blood through his veins- his life. She loved that about him, the simple fact that he was alive and warm.

"I love you," he said softly, pressing a kiss onto the top of her head.

She squeezed him close. "I love you too," she whispered the truth to him, covering up her lie with something more important. It was the truth: she did love him. And any lingering love for Edward couldn't take that away or diminish it. Her heart was bigger than that.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" he asked gently. His words weren't accusatory or even defensive, just cautious, as though he actually thought she might not know.

Bella tipped her chin up and looked at him. "I know that," she answered. "I trust you."

"I trust you too," he answered with a soft smile. "I just wish I didn't feel like there was this big wall between us today."

She let out a soft sigh, running a hand through his short hair and remembering how he'd looked when it had flowed down past his shoulders. The cropped cut made him look older, more sophisticated, but the long-haired look had made him seem innocent and full of fun. But it probably wasn't the haircut that had changed that, she realized- it was becoming what he was, the profound change in his life, that had matured him.

Jacob caught her hand in his and brought it to his lips, kissing each of her fingers and then her palm, nibbling playfully at the lines on her hand. Then he abandoned her hand and pressed his lips softly to hers. She parted her lips and reached her tongue out to meet his as he pulled her closer. They made out for a long time, and Bella enjoyed the closeness, the intimacy without conversation, how easy it was to lose herself in his embrace and his lips. By the time she pulled back, they were both breathing hard, almost gasping for air. Jacob's eyes were impossibly dark, and she knew hers must have matched.

He reached out a hand and slid it under her shirt, his fingertips tracing the curve of her side, from her hip to her ribcage, the light caress making her body shiver. He kissed her deeply again, then moved his lips to her chin and neck before sucking gently on her earlobe.

"Hey," she said gently, pushing his head away but keeping him close, stroking the back of his neck lightly. "What about your dad?"

"Tribal council meeting tonight," he said. "It's at Sue's. He won't be home for ages." With a grin he reached for her again, lifting her easily so she was straddling his legs, and Bella could feel now not only how much he wanted her, but her own growing excitement as well.

Again he kissed her, and she drunk in the taste of his mouth, inhaling the scent of him- cedar and pine, the forest floor and the cool ocean breeze. His hands grasped the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head, interrupting their kiss long enough to pull it up and then tossing it aside. His left hand closed over one of her breasts as his right went to work on her bra, unclasping the hooks and tossing it in the general direction of her shirt. He bent his head to her other breast, taking the nipple deeply into his mouth and nibbling gently.

Bella hissed in a breath, one hand anchoring in his hair so there was no chance that he could stop what he was doing, not that she thought he had any plans to. With her free hand she reached down and undid the button of his cutoffs, sliding the zipper down and taking hold of him through his boxers, grinning at the groan of pleasure he made against her breast.

Then her phone started ringing. They both paused for a moment, their deep breaths coming in sync, and their heads turned in unison to cast irritated glances in the direction of her bag. With a frustrated sigh Bella started to get off his lap, but Jacob gripped her hips, flipping her over onto the couch and seizing her other nipple with his lips, swirling his tongue around it.

"Jacob," she gasped, hardly able to think with what he was doing to her. When his hand pulled open the button of her jeans, she covered it with her own hand and he stopped, letting out a frustrated sigh of his own.

"Hurry," he said, kissing her again as if to remind her of what she was walking away from. Her legs felt like jelly as she quickly rose and went to her bag, answering the phone on what was probably going to be the last ring before it went to voicemail.

Charlie's concerned voice was on the other end. "Hey Bells, everything okay?"

"Yeah," she said, quickly calming her voice and trying to wrack her brain thinking if there was something she was supposed to do.

"You at home?" he asked. "I called the landline but you didn't answer."

"No, I'm at Jake's."

"Ah," he said, and fell silent. Jacob crept over to her and reached for her breasts but she dodged him, suppressing a giggle. He settled for stroking the small of her back, the tops of her hips and the bottom for her ribcage, driving her crazy and making her whole body break out into goose bumps.

"Um… so is there something up?" she asked finally, swatting Jacob away with a hand. He grinned wickedly at her.

"No," Charlie answered, drawing her back to the conversation. He seemed unhappy about something. "No," he said again.

"Are you sure?" she asked hesitantly.

He didn't say anything for a moment, but then he said, "Well, it looks like I'm going to cleared out of here early tonight and I was thinking you might want to go to the diner… but you're at Jake's so that's fine."

Bella let her breath out slowly, thinking. She had been neglecting Charlie lately, with everything. When she ran off up to Canada with Jacob technically against his rules, he'd been understanding, forgiving even. But ever since then she'd been so absorbed in her new boyfriend and trying to make Edward comfortable with friendship that she couldn't even remember the last time she and Charlie had spent some quality time together.

Jacob was looking at her expectantly, but the urgency in his expression faded somewhat as he saw her attention drifting.

"When are you leaving the station?" she asked.

"Probably half an hour," he answered, sounding almost excited.

"Okay," she said, guilty for more than one reason. "Sure. I'll meet you at the diner."

"Are you sure you want to?" he asked hesitantly.

"No, it's great," she assured him. "It'll be fun. It's overdue."

His voice was significantly more animated. "Alright, great. Yeah. I'll see you there, Bells." He hung up, and with a sigh she did the same.

Jacob was eyeing her with a disappointed expression. "You have to go?" he asked glumly.

"It's Charlie," she said. "He's getting off work in like half an hour and he wants to have dinner. I haven't hung out with him properly in ages. He didn't even invite you, which shows how much he misses me."

"Oh, so I'm just your ride and nothing else now, huh?" he teased playfully. With a fake dramatic sigh, Jacob pulled her close, pressing a kiss to the top of each of her breasts, and then he fished her bra and shirt from the floor and handed them over. "You owe me double next time," he said playfully.

"Definitely," she answered as she pulled her shirt over her head, kissing him deeply. She smirked as Jacob went to the sink and splashed his face with cold water, enjoying that she could make him feel like that. They hurried outside to his motorcycle and Jacob drove over the speed limit for most of the drive, but Charlie was waiting for her inside the diner already when she got there. She gave Jacob a quick kiss, embarrassed at the idea of her dad seeing, and promised that tomorrow they would finish what they'd started today.

"I'll hold you to that," he said playfully before pulling out onto the road again. She watched him drive away, smiling slightly to herself, and then she went inside. Charlie waved her over, looking so happy to see her that she felt even more guilty for not paying enough attention to him lately.

Dinner with her dad was surprisingly fun. Sometimes she got so caught up in all the things she couldn't say to him that she forgot everything she could say, and there was a lot. She told him about school, about Edward's discomfort with her request to be friends, about how much she loved Jacob.

"He's good for you, Bells," Charlie said, not for the first time since she and Jacob had gotten together. "He's a good kid."

"Yeah, he is," she answered with a smile. If she'd been in the mood she might have protested that Edward, too, had been 'a good kid,' but she knew her dad didn't like him. There was no use pushing the issue.

"So what are you doing on Saturday?" he asked.

"Um… nothing, I don't think. Why?"

"We've been invited to dinner," he said. "At the Clearwaters' house. Jake and his dad will be there. The Atearas. A few others."

"Sounds fun," she said dryly, thinking of Leah, but in truth it probably would be fun, given Jacob's presence. And Quil was pretty good at making her laugh. "Sure, I'll be there."

Charlie smiled down at his food and took a bite of his salad, chewing thoughtfully. Once he'd swallowed he said, "I think it's good for us to make an effort. It's been real hard for Sue since Harry passed away, not to mention the kids."

"Yeah, I bet," Bella agreed, thinking about what it would feel like to lose a parent. Then with a chill she realized she had almost made the choice to lose both- forever. Her life was so different now.

"You and Leah are friends now anyway, aren't you?" he asked. "Even Seth hangs around with all you guys, doesn't he?"

"Um, yeah," Bella agreed. "But we're not really friends. It's just a big group thing. You know how that is."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Not really," he said with a wink. "But I'm glad you have so many friends, Bells. I was really worried about you for a while there."

"Thanks Dad," she said, her face flushing.

He waved a hand at her. "Sorry, I'm not trying to embarrass you. I'm just saying… you seem happy. Much happier. I'm glad."

She nodded and forced a smile. "Yeah... I am happier."

Laying in bed that night, Bella thought about what he'd said. She seemed happier, she had more friends than ever, and she had a boyfriend who thought the world of her. She did feel lucky. But there was also that other part of her life- that small part of her heart that still belonged with the Cullens. She was growing to care about Jacob's pack more and more, and she enjoyed spending time with most of them, but she missed spending time with Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and even Rosalie. And Edward… she was trying to give him the time he needed, but what if he never came back to school? What if she never saw him again? The idea was terrifying.

Snuggling under her comforter long after Charlie was in bed, she tried to banish her fears and worries from her mind, to focus on happy things, like Jacob and her new life. She was looking forward to dinner on Saturday, and there were other things going on that could distract her from her problems. Those problems were trivial, anyway, compared to being afraid of Victoria climbing in her window and cutting her throat, or worse. She tried to convince herself that everything would be okay, trying to relax away her worries, but even when she did fall asleep, she slept fitfully. She dreamed of someone taking a saw to her body, splitting her in two like the two halves of her heart, and she feared that nothing would ever be able to make her one piece again.