Chapter 19 – And it all comes crashing down
A/N: Thank you DeeDreamer and EssatheTwerp21 for being such snappy betas! I'm sure my readers appreciate it as well.
JPOV
We left the next day. Things were way too uncomfortable and tense to stay any longer. Ness promised Kimber that we would be back the following weekend, to which Edward said he and Bella would be going out of town.
I was sort of glad that everything had worked out like that. Edward and I were on decent terms, but I didn't like feeling like I was in the middle of his and Ness's issues. This mess started long before I came back into their lives and I wanted to do everything possible to stay the hell out of it.
I didn't want either of them pissed at me, and I definitely wasn't choosing sides. But if I weighed my opinion on logic, Edward won. His requests weren't entirely irrational. Billy never even allowed Paul to spend the night, much less sleep in the same bed as Rachel. And she was almost twenty when they started dating. But I couldn't have Ness pissed at me either…even if she is sexy as fuck when she's pissed.
So now the band aid on the whole situation was to keep Ness and Edward apart.
I thought he was going to kill us both when we woke up late Tuesday morning. Little did I know, the spot Ness chose last night wasn't random. How the hell was I supposed to know? All I could smell was Ness…and God did she smell good.
Edward wasn't the only vamp causing me grief. Rosalie was at the top of my shit-list...surprise, surprise. Kimber wasn't ever my girlfriend or anything even close, but she had been a friend for a while. And now, she needed me. The blonde bitch's attitude was hurting her, like Kim didn't have enough shit to deal with. For that, I wanted to put Rosalie through a world of pain. Nothing and no one was ever good enough for her. If she didn't back off of Kim by the next time we visited, she and I would definitely have words.
Kimber would be a part of the Cullen's lives for a while, longer than she was anticipating. I agreed with Carlisle and Edward. She should stay with them until she finishes her education and the baby is full grown. Not to say that I was thrilled at all about the concept of her becoming a vampire. But what choice did she have? It was either death or change…which was just another form of death.
We got back to campus in the evening. I completely bypassed my room and followed Ness to hers. My excuse to anyone who asked was that all my shit was in her bag, but really I wasn't planning on leaving her side. Maybe ever.
Ella was sprawled out studying when we came in. She dropped everything the moment she saw Ness.
"Oh my GOD! Why didn't you call me? I've been so fucking worried. I thought you were dead! The RA said she contacted your parents and that you were sick, but she said the same thing about Kimber. She's still not back. I think she's dead, Ness!" Ella was freaking the fuck out, everything she said streaming from her mouth in one breath. She was visibly shaking.
From what I'd gathered, Kimber had been allowed to answer the phone when the RA had called as well as when I had. Somehow she'd managed to leave Ness a voicemail – which I found when I was erasing Ness's full inbox for her. I deleted it without mentioning it to anyone. The last thing Ness needed was another reason to blame herself for what went down with Warren.
"Shh. Calm down, hon. I'm here. I'm fine," my girl said soothingly.
It didn't help Ella at all.
"They found bodies. Five of them. I can't even talk about it." Ella buried her head into Ness's shoulder and sobbed. Ness stroked her hair, trying to ease her as best she could.
"I know, I heard about it on the news," Ness replied, choking on her own tears. I knew returning to school wouldn't be easy, and part of me knew that it was too soon.
The police found some of Kimber's blood on one of the other girls, leaving them enough evidence to suspect she was dead as well.
The two girls sobbed together for a moment.
Ella pulled away from Ness's embrace and wiped the tears from her cheeks and eyes. "Your friend, that blonde guy, came by Saturday night. I told him you were out but he left a note."
She handed Ness a piece of paper. We read it together.
Renesmee,
I can't live without you. No one could ever take your place. No one. I love you with everything I am. Please, please come back to me. I've made some mistakes but I can be better. Please.
I love you.
Warren
Ella was pretty confused when Ness collapsed against me and sobbed loudly.
"Please get me out of here," she mumbled between heartbreaking cries.
Her pain was back. I knew she wasn't healed that fast. I knew she was just keeping it together for Kim. Or maybe the reality of it all just came down on her. I crammed some clothes into her backpack while she told Ella that she needed to be with me tonight and how she had a big falling out with Warren. Everything I needed was already in the car and clean thanks to whichever vamp washed my clothes.
"Will I see you tomorrow night? At the vigil?" Ella asked. Ness cried harder.
I pulled Ness to me by the waist and she wrapped herself around me. "I'll have her call you, 'kay?" I told Ella as I pulled Ness out of the room, backpack in hand.
"Can I drive?" she asked as we walked out to the dark parking lot. Her face was still sad but I handed her the keys anyway. I couldn't refuse her anything.
Things were quiet in the car. No talking. Not even the radio. The only sound was that of the cars whirring by as she drove down the highway at an unhurried speed. Ness was focused on the road, tears streaming down her face. I wanted to speak, but was worried she might need the calm.
The silence was finally broken once we were several miles from campus. "I love you, but please do not protest where we are going or that I'm paying for it. All of this is my fault. Everything! If it weren't for me, we would be curled up in my bed at my house. Hell, if it weren't for me, there wouldn't be a candlelight vigil tomorrow night to mourn the death of six girls. Girls that should be alive but aren't because of ME!"
I tried to grip her hand and interrupt, but she only yelled louder.
"These girls were killed before they ever had a chance to live even half their lives. Parents shouldn't have to bury their kids, Jacob. They'll never graduate. Never get married. Because of me. Because I damaged Warren so badly that he did this. I knew it was cruel. I knew I'd never love him. But I continued to pull him closer. It should have been me that died!"
She jerked the car into a parking lot, but I was too distracted to notice where. She cried hysterically while I held her close, my hands rubbing her back. I wished I could take her pain away.
"Shh. I love you. It's not your fault, I swear," I whispered, trying to console her. She still cried. I kept whispering everything I thought might make her feel better but it didn't seem to help.
I looked at my surroundings finally, still holding her close while her sobs quieted little by little. We were at a hotel; probably the nicest one in Athens. "C'mon babe, let's get a room. Maybe I'll let you buy me dinner," I tried to joke.
She did this sad half laugh, half sniffle thing. "Come on," she said, shoving some sunglasses over her red, swollen eyes even though it was dark out.
She crawled into the bed as soon as we entered the room, throwing her jeans and top in the floor in the process. I got in with her and held her, the only thing I knew to do since I was pretty sure my consolations weren't helping her much. She didn't cry, but the silence was almost as painful. She laid against my chest, her beautiful hair splayed all over me.
Ness fell asleep soon after. I didn't move or otherwise disturb her. I wanted to kiss her goodnight, tell her that I loved her, and tell her that everything would be better in the morning. But it wouldn't be. She seemed peaceful as she slept so I just laid there holding her until I finally fell asleep as well.
The sun was beaming brightly through the wall of windows when I woke up late the next morning, Ness still asleep and right where I left her. I wished I could fall back asleep, I even tried for a little while, but I hadn't eaten in what felt like days and I had to take a serious piss. I gently peeled Ness off of me, taking care not to wake her. She didn't as much as stir or grumble. I took care of business and ordered us a big breakfast from room service. The knock on the door and sounds from the cart didn't disturb her at all.
It was nearly noon. Ness had been asleep since around ten last night. I was going to wait for her to wake before eating, but damn I was hungry and the food smelled awesome. Thankfully she woke up when I pulled the tops off our platters.
She was so beautiful. I watched her stretch and grumble. Please let her feel better.
I abandoned my meal to go to her side and maybe…hopefully…put a smile on her face. I stroked her hair and kissed her cheeks softly. "Good morning, beautiful."
"Morning." She smiled just a little and kissed my cheek. "What do I smell?"
"A little bit of everything. Bacon, sausage, two kinds of eggs, pancakes, gravy biscuits..."
"Damn, sounds good." She stretched again and got up, walking her sexy, almost naked ass to the food.
"You want me to get you some clothes?" I asked. There was no way I could keep myself from wanting her when she was so close to being nude.
"You don't like what you see?" she asked jokingly, but I could tell it was forced.
I smiled. "Love it. Just trying to take care of you, babe."
She slumped in her chair at the table and dug in. I think she ate almost as much as I did. A little burp escaped when she was done and she blushed. It was so fucking cute.
I had been a good boy, keeping my hands to myself since last night even though she'd been in nothing but a bra and thong – a sexy hot pink set at that – since she got in bed last night. But it was getting extremely difficult. She probably didn't want anything to do with me sexually, though. She slid back in the bed and cocooned her body in the duvet.
That wouldn't do. She should be cuddled against me.
Our bodies wrapped around each other and I held her. She didn't cry, but she clearly wasn't over this. Her legs were entwined with mine in a way that pressed her center against my thigh. I shouldn't have even registered this. I shouldn't have noticed the way her breasts were pressed against my chest, rising and falling with every breath. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on making her whole again. Then she shifted, pressing her body further against me. Despite my efforts, I got hard. And it was pressed right against the inside of her thigh. Dammit.
She turned her head up to look at me. Our faces were so close. I wanted so badly to kiss her.
"Jacob," she murmured.
"Yeah, babe?" I asked huskily.
She moved up my body, coming even closer to my face. "Love me," she said, sounding broken, eyes pleading.
Of course I loved her. I was confused so I just kissed her softly. Slowly. Gently. As if her lips would shatter if I weren't careful. Her lips parted and it all made sense. She meant love her like that.
My fingers lightly skimmed across her back as we kissed. Our lips and tongues moved together slowly and gently. Her body relaxed significantly. I rolled us so that I was on top of her, using an elbow to keep my massive frame from crushing her. After a few more minutes of kissing her delicious lips, I began placing soft, unhurried kisses as I trailed my lips down her face and neck
I kept the inner wolf calm, focusing exclusively on loving Ness.
I placed slow, open mouth kisses down her neck and chest until I reached her breasts. I brushed my fingers across the sensitive skin there, rolling her taught nipple in my fingers. Ness gasped at my touch. I flicked her peak lightly with my tongue, earning another intake of breath.
My hands and mouth explored her body. I massaged, kissed, licked, and touched every part affectionately, saving the best for last.
Ness moaned loudly when my tongue very lightly glided over her glistening sex. She was so ready. I didn't want to be greedy or too rough, so I kept my pace pretty slow and easy, savoring the taste of her desire. Desire she held for me. I slid two fingers inside her body. Her hips bucked and her moans got louder. I quickened my pace on her nub but kept my fingers slow. Her fingers pinched her nipples and her back arched off the bed, a damn sexy sight.
"Jacob…Oh God…yes…don't stop…" she panted.
She came undone a few seconds later, fisting the sheets and moaning sexily. I looked up to meet her eyes. "I need you," she said longingly.
I climbed back up her body and positioned myself at her entrance. Our lips locked as our bodies connected.
I loved her over and over again for what felt like hours. When I was completely spent, I collapsed beside her. Both our bodies were covered in sweat, gasping for breath. She looked so gorgeous lying beside me with her messy hair and flushed cheeks.
Ness fell asleep in my arms – again. I wasn't tired, but it felt good to cool off and not move after such a long session of love making. I eventually nodded off for a few hours until I was awakened by my needy stomach. We were preoccupied when lunchtime rolled past so I ordered us some dinner, hoping the smell of food would rouse Ness from her deep sleep.
I went through the same motions I had that morning but nothing I did woke her. Not even the food. I was beginning to worry. I wasn't the slightest bit tired and I had gotten less sleep than she had – which was still a lot. She had slept all last night and the majority of the day.
This wasn't a healthy way to deal with her problems. More than anything on this planet, I wanted to ensure that she wasn't in pain, but she needed to wake up and get through this. The longer she slept, the longer it would be until she healed. I wanted her to wake up so we could work on this together.
Maybe it wasn't the right thing to do, but it felt to me like it would be better than sleeping. I was afraid she would fall into some sort of depression. I couldn't stand idly by and let that happen. She would not become a zombie.
There was only one person who would know what I should do. I rifled through her purse until I found Ness's phone. I quietly slid out the terrace door and called Carlisle.
"Hello, dear, is everything alright?" he asked in a concerned tone.
I cleared my throat. "Hey, it's Jacob actually. She's okay…well, not really. That's why I'm calling." I fidgeted and paced around the small space, unsure of what exactly to say.
"Are things catching up with her?"
I sighed. "Yeah. She's only been awake for maybe three or four hours since this time yesterday."
I heard people talking over one another rapidly in the background. From what I gathered, Bella wanted to talk to Ness, but Carlisle objected.
"You need to talk to her, Jacob. If she won't come home, get her to go somewhere else with you. Away from Athens." He paused. "I knew it was too soon for her to go back to campus," he continued, seemingly to himself.
I peered through the glass doors to see her still out cold. "I'll do what I can."
After getting a few tips on how to get through the next few days, I deleted the call off of her history and went back inside to wake Ness.
I gently stroked her face with my fingertips, down her eyelids, across her cheeks, barely touching her lips.
"Ness, wake up," I whispered. She moved around a little. "I love you. Please wake up."
Her deep brown eyes finally cracked open. "What time is it?" she grumbled as she stretched.
"Almost eight. I got us some dinner."
She smiled. Actually fucking smiled. "Good 'cause I'm starving."
Dinner was pretty quiet, but she seemed to be in a better mood. When she finished, she began to make her way back to the bed but I stopped her, grabbing her by the waist and spinning her around to face me.
"We need to go somewhere else," I said gently. I didn't want to look like I was being over-protective or worrisome. "You wanna go down to Atlanta for a couple of days? Maybe do some shopping?"
She thought for a moment. "Only if I can shop for you, too," she said with a smirk.
"Whatever makes you happy."
A/N:
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Chapter 20 teaser for reviews/retweets.