A/N: Merry Christmas! I'm absolutely N-O-T abandoning my precious story. Ever. I'm truly sorry for the delay in posting. I feel like I owe you – my very kind, loyal readers and reviewers – a bit of an explanation for my absence.

I'll be honest. My kids weren't sick (well, one was for a while, but that's not the reason). I wasn't out of town. No. It wasn't anything like that. All of my free computer time has been spent price-comparing Christmas gifts online, looking at sales ads, digging around on fatwallet dot com, and online shopping. And of course there's the brick and mortar shopping…

Every year, from Black Friday until about a week after Christmas, my whole world evolves around bargain hunting. I love it. It's an obsession.

Now on to what you're really here for…finally.

Chapter 22 – Firsts

NPOV

"Please, for the sake of keeping the peace, just do what she says," I begged.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "There is nothing wrong with the clothes I wear," he grumbled.

Alice folded her arms. "If you're going to be seen in public with anyone in this family – Renesmee included – you need to be dressed appropriately."

Jacob raised his arms and did a quick check of his body. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

Alice appraised his basketball shorts and UGA t-shirt with a cocked eyebrow. "Really?"

I stepped between them and gazed at him sweetly. "Honey, just take the gift card. We'll stop in Seattle before heading to La Push. It's not even that much. Please?"

His eyes bulged. "Not that much? Ness, baby, did you see it?"

I nodded. In my family, five grand wasn't that much for a trip to Saks.

"Can we talk?" he asked seriously.

We took my car to an ice cream shop down the road and shared a huge brownie sundae at one of the picnic tables outside. Jacob was clearly bothered by something more than Alice shoving five grand at him. I had a feeling I knew what it was, but I hoped I was wrong.

"I know we sort of talked about this before, but I'm still somewhat bothered by it," he said, focusing on the sweet decadence between us.

There was nothing more I could say to help him understand that money wasn't of significance to my family, so I just waited for him to continue.

"I can't take handouts from your family. I like my clothes and I like my piece of shit car. I don't need a new wardrobe or a new car or anything else. I can take care of myself and I want to take care of you. When we get to Alaska, I'm getting a job. I can't handle you or your family giving me a free ride. It makes me feel bad…that I can't give you all the things they can," he said apprehensively.

I rested my hand on top of his on the table. "I don't need material things, Jacob. All I need is you. But I don't want you juggling work and school. What will you do if your grades drop and you lose your scholarships? Jacob, you are a part of my family now. Letting them help doesn't make you a loser."

He tensed. "I only feel like a loser when I'm made to think that everything I am isn't good enough or up to Cullen standards," he said angrily.

"You're a college student. By all definitions, you're supposed to be broke and depending on family to feed, clothe, and house you. So fucking what if it's my family and not yours who are footing the bill. Don't use the gift card. Fine. I'll spend it on Kimber's baby. But you aren't going to make me feel like a spoiled brat for using my resources!"

"I never said you were a spoiled brat!" he said, standing up from the table.

"May as well have. I don't need luxury, but I do need a man who's going to go to school and do well so he can one day provide for our family. Stop being so fucking stubborn and accept that until we're done with school and have jobs of our own, we're going to have help from my family."

He was speechless. His cheeks were red and his eyes were squinted tight. He slammed his fist on the table and took off walking.

Childishly, I watched him walk away without a word. I wouldn't call for him. I knew he'd come back to me. Surely he wouldn't just leave me sitting there.

Standing my ground, I tried to keep my attention on shoveling a bite of sundae into my mouth. When I looked up, my boiling vehemence froze over, leaving me feeling cold and alone. He hadn't turned around. He was approaching the woods on the far end of the parking lot.

"Jacob! Don't go!" I called desperately, tears forming in my eyes.

"Go home, Ness," he said angrily.

I ran after him. He stopped abruptly and turned to face me.

"Go. Home," he growled through clenched teeth, heading back towards the woods.

Tears streamed down my face. Jacob was so mad at me. It hurt to the bone and I didn't fully understand what had just happened…how we ended up angry and yelling. Despite how much I was hurting, I still felt like I was right.

I ran back to my car and sped home, still bawling when I pulled in the driveway.

Dad and Mom were at my car door before I had a chance to open it. "Honey, what's wrong? Renesmee! Are you hurt?" Mom shouted frantically.

"W—w—we had our first f—f—fiiiight," I replied through sobs. Dad's face turned angry. "Stop it! It's not his fault!" Was it?

"Honey, come inside and calm down," Mom whispered soothingly.

I continued to cry all the way up to my room. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" she asked once the door was closed.

"J—Jacob…he…he doesn't want…" my tears choked off my words.

Dad stepped in. "He feels like he's not good enough for her. And the money; he doesn't feel comfortable taking it from us or letting us help him."

"He…he told me to go home. He's out there somewhere roaming around…mad at me," I wept.

"Where?" Mom asked, looking to my father for an answer.

"Not far, I can hear him. It looks like he's somewhere in the woods behind the house."

She kissed my head and stepped away. "I'll go talk to him."

As I watched her leap from the open window, anger set in. Not at Jacob, but at my mother. She thought she could talk some sense into him when I couldn't. What the hell did she know about Jacob? He belonged to me. I should be the one to help him see reason. Until two weeks ago, she had completely written him off as a distant, fuzzy memory from a past life. And now she thought she could step in and do my job?

It stirred an emotion inside me I'd never felt before. I couldn't find a name for this new feeling.

"Jealousy," Dad said flatly, sitting in front of me on the bed. "Bella has been in this situation before. She wasn't born a Cullen. She felt the same way about our lifestyle. It took her years to feel comfortable accepting it, long after we were married."

"So what should I do?" I asked, peering up through wet lashes to look him in the eye.

"Let him get a job and be a man. All he wants to do is take care of you. We still plan on helping pay rent and hopefully he'll allow us to buy him reliable transportation once we get to Alaska. Everything will be fine, sweetie. You'll have us close if you ever need anything."

He's all I will ever need. Money or not. "I don't know what to say to him."

"There's nothing you can say that you haven't said already. It'll take time. His ego is bruised. But once you guys get settled in Alaska and he finds a job, things will be much easier. The best thing you for you to do is show him how little money matters to you if that's how you really feel. Go camping instead of staying in posh hotels. Skip the all-you-can-eat crab legs and cook for each other. And don't drag him shopping with you.

Why didn't I think of that? For the last two weeks I had done nothing but spend relentlessly. Growing up with not much more than necessities, it was natural for him to feel inadequate…and possibly even insecure.

"Does this mean I should get a job and buy my own clothes and stuff?"

"Absolutely not. Jacob can be obstinate if he so chooses, but you will be focusing on your grades until you graduate, not on a job."

Grades…and Jacob.

Dad rolled his eyes. "Promise me something?" he asked timidly.

"Maybe," I replied lightly. I wouldn't make him a promise I couldn't keep.

"Regardless of any…changes that may happen or how involved you and Jacob become, can you promise you'll wait to," he paused and closed his eyes, breathing deeply for a moment, "have children?"

Children. With Jacob.

What a beautiful notion.

I'd thought about it more than once; dreamed of it, even. But I knew school should come first regardless of whether I needed a job or ever planned to use my degree. It was the natural progression of life. Well…human life at least. College, marriage, and then kids.

But I was only a freshman and would be going to Alaska with zero college credits. Did I really want to wait four whole years to marry Jacob? Hell no. Human standards didn't apply to supernatural beings. Not when it came to matters of the heart.

Humans had flighty tendencies and a constant torrent of ME, ME, ME, ME! flowing through their frontal lobe.

Vampires mated for life, and the imprint was irrefutable. My heart and soul belonged to Jacob Black. I'd marry him the second he was ready. He was part of me. Nothing else mattered. I loved my parents and family, but he was something bigger than that; a force of nature that altered my soul eternally.

"I can promise to not try to have children. But destiny is destiny. Look at Kimber, she had an IUD and got pregnant."

He relaxed a little. That probably wasn't the response he was expecting given my train of thought prior to speaking. "Fair enough I guess."

For the first time in a very long time, I pulled my father into an embrace without feeling awkward or forced. "I love you, Dad."

He held me against him tightly. "I love you too, sweetie."

I sulked in my room for a while, thinking of how selfish and inconsiderate I had been. Never did I think that money would have made him feel the way he did. Alice came in and apologized to me for practically forcing the Sak's gift card on him. She promised to leave him alone except for birthdays and Christmas. I told her she didn't need to apologize to me, that it was Jacob she needed to talk to.

I didn't necessarily think he needed new clothes. The clothes he had were nice. Then something occurred to me – Jacob's clothes were in Athens, all but the same four outfits he packed when we went to Atlanta for the concert.

I dug through my purse for my phone. There was no way Jacob would go for buying new clothes, and while his could be shipped, why not have them personally delivered to Washington? Hopefully Embry wasn't put off by my idea.

"Ness! Hey! Are you guys alright?" Hannah said, her voice a mix of excitement and concern.

We chatted about our weeks for a while. She and Embry were glued to each other just like me and Jacob, only they didn't have any privacy. That played to my advantage.

"How opposed are you to skipping class Monday and Tuesday?"

"Not completely. What do you have in mind?"

"Jacob and I are going to Washington to meet his family. I could use some familiar faces," I said hesitantly.

She didn't speak for a moment. I heard Embry in the background. It sounded like he was trying to convince her. They deliberated for a few minutes. Hannah was nervous about meeting his family, a factor that didn't occur to me until I overheard their conversation.

"And I'm to assume that the tickets are on you?" she asked. Her voice sounded like she was hoping I'd say no.

"Yep! You'll leave tomorrow."

She sighed. "Fine. Where are you staying?"

"We're camping."

Hannah wasn't thrilled about the idea of camping, so I decided to book them a hotel room somewhere nearby. They desperately needed the privacy. As an added bonus, we would have our own privacy since they wouldn't be with us.

She was just as nervous as I was about meeting everyone. I was getting really excited but couldn't enjoy it since Jacob and I hadn't made amends. He and Mom were still talking as far as I knew…which bothered me in ways it shouldn't.

I heard Kimber making her way down the hall on crutches and went to assist her. She smiled as I approached.

"I can do it." She hated using the wheelchair. Instead, she hobbled her disproportioned-self around on crutches.

We had spent a lot of time together since Jacob and I got into town. With the tension between us long gone, we were able to develop a real bond. Now, we were inseparable.

She brought out a part of me that I'd never known. And being myself around her was so easy. We talked about things I'd never been able to open up to anyone about…other than Jacob, of course. There were awkward moments, like when I would talk about my sex life with Jacob, but we were getting past that. I needed someone to go to with questions.

"You need help packing?" Kimber asked while I helped get her comfortable on my sofa.

I cocked my eyebrow. "How do you plan to help, gimp?"

She giggled. "I can wrap breakables or something. All my stuff is packed…all four boxes." She really was doing well with all of the changes in her life from what I could see.

"You've got more stuff than Jacob," I retorted.

Jacob. I frowned.

"Everything will be fine, honey. Your mom's quite the counselor," Kimber said smoothly.

I snarled at the thought. "Yeah, Counselor Bella is out there in the woods alone with my man doing what I couldn't do."

"C'mon. You know it's not like that."

"She's the only other woman he's ever been emotionally attached to. I can't help it." Just thinking of her consoling him twisted my stomach into knots.

"I'm pretty sure neither of them have even the tiniest amount of feelings for each other. Now stop thinking like that and gimme something to pack!" she said, swatting me with a roll of bubble wrap.

"So what do you think about the move?" I asked. We hadn't had the opportunity to talk about it since Carlisle made the official announcement this afternoon.

"It came as a shock, but I'm really excited. Relieved, too, since we'll be a good ways away from humans."

I sat a pile of things beside her on the sofa so she could wrap them. "And closer to more men of our kind," I inserted.

She perked up. "Oh, really?"

I didn't know firsthand, but the Denali women didn't seem to have a problem finding a good fuck. I'd met some of their flings when I was growing up and never saw the same one twice.

"From what I hear. The weather in the bulk of Alaska is perfect for vampires," I said, gathering a few things from my nightstand and packing them into a box.

"Good, because as soon as I have this baby, I need to find a fuck buddy. Shit, I wish I had one now because these pregnancy hormones are killing me. I want it non-stop. And it doesn't help living with a bunch of vampires with no modesty when it comes to keeping the noise down." She wrapped my items roughly through her frustration. It was funny, but I kept myself from laughing out loud.

"Honey, they probably are trying to keep the noise down. What about more than a fuck buddy? Being around all these couples doesn't make you want to give commitment another shot? Vampire relationships aren't like human ones, you know."

I glanced over to see her reaction. She looked intrigued. "So I've heard. I don't know if I'm ready for all that. I've only had one serious boyfriend and he pretty much ruined my chances of ever trusting anyone of the opposite sex again. Besides, what kind of guy is going to want to commit to someone with a baby?"

I had no experience in this department, but some things were common sense. "First of all, my father reads minds. Trust problem solved. And second, any guy who would consider the baby a drawback isn't worth it. If a guy does show interest in you and knows you're a mommy, snatch him up immediately. Ugh. This is pointless. I know you're not going to change your mind regardless of what I say."

She grinned slightly and rolled her eyes. "You're killing me. One step at a time. I'm in no rush to fall in love…even if I am surrounded by five of the most lovesick, overly affectionate couples I've ever seen in my life."

Not long ago, I could see where she was coming from. Love was never something I was interested in…until I met Jacob. It was as though I'd been waiting all my life for him and him alone.

"Well there's a lot less fish in the vampire sea, so don't close yourself off."

She glared at me. "Ness."

I held my hands up in defense. "Fine, fine. Just sayin'."

It took me a little while longer to finish packing my things. I had the most sentimental possessions out of everyone. I couldn't let them go. Growing up so fast and having such a short childhood left me holding on to the things that reminded me of that period of my life. I was supposed to be almost nineteen, and here I was packing up my first teddy bear and the blanket Esme knitted me – both of which I still kept on my bed – among other things I'd had since infancy.

After all that work, I was pretty exhausted. Kimber was tired all the time so I knew she was about ready for a nap, too. We curled up together on the bed I'd been sleeping in, though my head rested on the pillow Jacob had been using.She took up most of the queen bed, leaving me to weave myself through her limbs and against her torso. Once I was comfortable she pulled me in closer.

"You're so warm," she murmured as she drifted to sleep.

Little baby kicks against where my stomach was pressed to hers kept me awake for a little while. It was the most miraculous thing I'd ever felt. A human may not have been able to discern the tiny movements, but I could feel each little flutter against me.

After some internal debate, I reached up her shirt and caressed her stomach, enjoying the little flickers of movement. Kimber's skin was nothing like anything I was used to. Jacob was hotter, and my family was much colder. The texture of it was different, too. My family was smooth as marble, and Jacob was pliant but still silky. Soon, though, she would be cold and hard.

The only thing that mattered was what was on the inside, and she would always be Kimber.

Eventually I fell asleep. Kimber's death grip never loosened, but I was comfortable. She had a pleasant scent and her rhythmic breaths were soothing.

At some point Jacob entered my room, but he didn't wake me. Instead, he sat in a chair beside the bed and apparently watched me sleep. When I woke I realized that the position Kimber and I were in could have been considered inappropriate. I had kicked my pants off and Kimber wasn't wearing much to begin with. Her hand was resting on the small of my back, our legs intertwined, and our faces only a couple inches apart. The hand I had rested on her stomach had slid around to her back, holding her close to me.

I peeled myself away from her carefully and guided Jacob out of the now-dark room. Kimber didn't stir. I pushed him into the hall bathroom and locked the door. Our lips crashed together as if on instinct.

"I'm so sorry," I breathed.

"No, I'm sorry," he paused for a long breathtaking kiss, "I should never have talked to you that way."

We continued to go back and forth over who was right or wrong while sharing toe-curling kisses. My body absolutely ached for him.

"Who's here?" I asked, barely tearing my lips from his.

His lips moved against mine as he spoke, "Not sure, but we can't do it here. Edward made me swear."

Ugh. The mention of my father brought me back to reality.

"Come on."

I didn't bother telling anyone that I was leaving as I grabbed my pants from my room and ran as quickly as I could to my car, Jacob following close behind. We hauled ass out the driveway and down the street. A few minutes later we were parked at the back of a subdivision that was under construction.

I told Jacob to take his shorts and boxers off as I practically ripped off my jeans. This was the first time I'd ever wished my car was more than just a two seater. Hell, an RV wouldn't have been big enough for us.

I crawled over the gear shifter and straddled his lap, rubbing myself against his growing erection. My mouth found his in the darkness. His hands slid over my ass and then gripped it roughly.

"Fuck, I need you so bad," he said. His low, gravely voice sent a surge of wetness between my legs.

I didn't make him wait. I didn't waste time with foreplay. My body only registered the base need to be filled by him. I moved my hips down, slipping him inside me, taking every inch of his hot hardness. I shifted against his body quickly, earning a guttural groan from this incredibly sexy man.

My breathing came in pants as one of his hands slid between our bodies. He yanked my shirt off and unclasped my bra, moving it up out of his way, freeing my breasts which were pressed close to his face. His tongue and lips and teeth assaulted them while his hand moved farther down until it reached my most sensitive place. My legs shook but I managed to keep myself grinding against his lap.

"I can't do this. I need more," he groaned roughly. He opened the car door and I thought I had done something terribly wrong. Instead of throwing me off of him like I thought he was going to, he held me against him, his cock still filling me, until I was pressed against the hood of the car.

This was much better. He held my wrists above my head and absolutely drilled into me over and over. It wasn't an angry fuck, though. The look in those deep brown eyes held so much raw emotion; adoration and need and remorse…but more than anything, love.

It was all I could do to keep from moaning loudly, so he leaned over my body and our tongues melded together. I touched his face – though it was probably unnecessary, he could undoubtedly see and feel everything going through my mind – and showed him what I wanted.

Without a word, he flipped me over and continued to thrust in and out roughly, smacking my ass a few times. I loved how it felt to be dominated by him.

"Come for me," he growled. He pulled my hair just a little, further arching my back. He knew just how much I loved that shit.

My orgasm built quickly. Any notion to keep my voice down was long forgotten. At this point I was nearly screaming. My cries for more were met with deeper, harder thrusts. My body tingled all over and it was as though I were in a different place entirely, somewhere only Jacob and I existed.

My walls clenched around his shaft and my body shuddered. The final seconds of my climax were intensified by Jacob's swelling cock stretching me. At last, his orgasm shot deep into my body. I basked in the wet feel of it, and somewhere deep in the back of my mind I wished that it wasn't in vain, that his seed could find what it was desperately searching for.

Then Jacob turned my head and kissed me…hard.

"Do you know how happy that makes me?" he breathed against my ear, still buried within me. "How much I want that with you?"

With heavy breaths and glowing eyes, he flipped me over and returned his attention to my mouth. After a few hours…or maybe it was a few minutes, he pulled back just enough to murmur, "God, I love you so much."

"I love you, too," I replied breathlessly.

I began to feel his load seep out of my body and down to my thighs. It was bittersweet; a turn-on, yet saddening that the promise it held wouldn't come to fruition.

A/N: I won't promise a speedy update. It may be around the 3rd or 4th before I post again (well, that's not bad, just not my usual). But after that, I'll be back to weekly posting.

I'd love some reviews…it's been a while. Reviews get a teaser for the next chapter and they'll be sent in less than a week.

Thank you to my betas, DeeDreamer and EssatheTwerp21!

Hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and New Years!