Day 172

The days passed somewhat uneventfully - Xion continued to act distant, and would sometimes stop coming to the clock tower for days at a time. Neither Axel nor Roxas seemed to have any idea of what was wrong, and while they too were concerned about their friend, Xurik seemed to be the most affected by Xion's odd mood. Hanging out with his two other best friends managed to take his mind off of things for the most part... but things still felt wrong.

"Xurik," Luxord said one morning, shaking Xurik from his thoughts. "How has the game been treating you?"

"Alright, I suppose," Xurik said, frowning. He hadn't been on very many missions with the man. He honestly avoided it when possible - Luxord's odd manner of speaking and turning everything into a gambling metaphor was somewhat annoying.

"Saix shuffled us together for today's mission. I wager we'll make a good enough team."

Xurik nodded. He realized that Luxord used cards as weapons, but that didn't mean that the Keyblade prompted him to compare everything to keys.

"Oh, by the way," Luxord said suddenly, pausing before he turned to go. "Did you hear what happened to Xion?"

Xurik snapped out of his silent reflection on possible key metaphors. "No! What's wrong? Is she okay?"

The blond man shook his head regretfully. "She bungled her last mission and has been in a deep sleep ever since."

Not caring about saying goodbye to Luxord, Xurik immediately turned and began to run towards Xion's quarters. He was forced to a halt when Saix suddenly stepped in his path.

"And where do you think you are going, Xurik?"

"I'm checking up on Xion," he said flatly, trying to go around Saix. The man held out his hand, stopping him.

"But you have a mission."

"And I'm going to do it!" Xurik snapped. "Just let me through for a minute!"

"You cannot help your comrade. Xion will not wake up."

Xurik shook his head forcefully. "I know that. I know! I just want to be with her... to see her."

He pushed past Saix and continued on his way to the Organization's sleeping quarters. The man rolled his eyes.

"What do you care? The creature is broken. Defective."

Xurik froze in his steps. He whirled around, glaring at Saix. "Don't call her that! She's not just some 'creature,' and she's not defective!"

Saix's eyes narrowed. "I'll call that thing whatever I want. How we deal with Xion is no concern of yours."

"Yes it is. She's my friend, not yours!"

The man gave a cruel smirk. "Look at you, Xurik. Up in arms over a nobody."

Xurik frowned. "A... a Nobody? We're all Nobodies, Saix!" What the hell was wrong with these people? It was like Castle Oblivion all over again. Back when he thought that Axel might have been killed... no one else seemed to care. It all seemed so... heartless.

But of course it seemed heartless... they didn't have hearts. If that was how Nobodies were supposed to act, why didn't he? Why did he care so much? Didn't he need a heart for that, like Axel said?

"Settle down," Saix said quietly. He gave Xurik a small smile. "Xion's failing's won't affect your standing with us. You've nothing to worry about."

"My standing? Is this some kind of joke?" Xurik said quietly, a pained expression on his face. Why was he so different from Saix? Didn't the man at least remember what it was like to give a shit about someone else? "I'm going to do my mission - don't worry about that. Just give me a minute." With that, he turned and ran to Xion's room.

As they had said, the girl was lying comatose on her bed. He approached her cautiously.

"Xion... what happened to you?"

He sighed. He suddenly remembered when he had been unconscious like this... Xion and Roxas had come to see him every day. He quickly ran to his room - then returned with a seashell, the same ones that Xion had left by his pillow. He gently placed one next to her head.

"Dream of the ocean for me," he said quietly. An odd feeling suddenly welled up in his chest - his eyes felt strangely wet. He wiped off the unexplained moisture. Then, on impulse - he lowered his face to hers and kissed her gently on the lips.

When he pulled away, his face felt hot. He pressed a gloved finger to his mouth. Where had that come from? What had come over him?

What was that pounding sensation in his chest?

His mission with Luxord in Wonderland passed uneventfully - as usual, his mind was on other things. The only time his attention was brought forth was when they were standing before a talking doorknob, and he had yet another flashback of the silver-haired boy. What did it mean? Who the hell was the boy?

When he arrived at the clock tower, he found Axel and Roxas waiting for him. Axel didn't look too shaken, although Roxas looked worried. Xurik's face turned red when he remembered the kiss - he decided not to tell either of the two boys about it. He didn't understand it himself, so what might they say about it? He knew that he wasn't supposed to keep secrets from Roxas at least... but as long as he didn't ask directly, it wasn't exactly like he was lying, right?

Xurik remembered his conversation with Saix earlier. How could he be so cold when Xion was in trouble like that? He shook his head. Axel was Saix's friend, wasn't he? Maybe he knew.

"Axel, did you hear about Xion?"

The man nodded, his face darkening slightly. "Saix told me what happened this morning."

Xurik shook his head. Had Saix mentioned his lapse in obedience as well? "How can Saix be so cold about it? It's like he doesn't even care... the way he talks, it's as if Xion is just a piece of garbage."

Axel gave him a pained look. "Listen to you. How come you do that? Talk like you're a real person."

Xurik was surprised. "What do you mean? I'm just... talking. I have no idea what real people sound like."

Axel shook his head. "I mean, sometimes you sound like you really are heartsick or something."

Xurik's chest tightened. Now he definitely couldn't tell Axel about the kiss... he'd just make some odd comparison to Xurik having a heart. Obviously he didn't... he was a Nobody too.

"Not all of us remember what it was like to have a heart, Axel," Roxas said teasingly. Axel smirked.

"You're no better than he is. Damn, all three of you... it's like you're real people, with real feelings. I can't get over it."

Xurik shook his head. "I just hope that Xion's going to be okay. What if she never wakes up? I don't know what I'd do..."

"She will," Axel said quietly.

"But Saix said she was 'broken'... 'defective'."

Axel gave a small smile. "Well... if it cheers you up, I'm probably a lot more broken than her."

Xurik shook his head. "Saix knows something. Xigbar said that Xion and I were 'exceptional'... and I don't think it just has something to do with the Keyblade. I bet Saix knows it too." He glanced at Axel. "You don't know anything, do you?"

"Of course not. I'd tell you, wouldn't I?"

Xurik said nothing - hadn't Axel told them that he didn't share everything with them? Axel's statement simply wasn't one that he could agree with.

Taking Xurik's silence for denial, Axel sighed. "Okay, okay, you have a point. Maybe I don't tell you everything, but for what it's worth, I don't know anything about this. If it's gonna keep you up at night, I could ask Saix for you."

Xurik sprang to his feet, shocked. "Really?" He was so used to Axel being mysterious and keeping secrets from them, that Axel actually offering to find something out for him took him by surprise.

"Yes, really!" Axel rolled his eyes and tugged on Xurik's cloak. "Sheesh, sit down. I'll ask, but don't get your hopes up. Straight answers aren't exactly his specialty."

"Well, he's definitely not going to tell me, so maybe you'll have better luck," Xurik said quietly. "I think I annoy him."

"Well, I can't say I blame him for that," Axel said teasingly, poking him in the ribs. Xurik gave a weak smile.

"Yeah, yeah. You're the one who invited me up here, don't forget."

"Yeah, twice!" He gave Roxas a forceful pat on the back. "Blame blondie here for bringing you around every day since!"

"Hey, I've gotta keep some friends who don't go off on secret missions for weeks at a time," Roxas said, smirking. The three boys laughed.

They sat in silence for a while. Finally, Xurik sighed.

"I just hope she wakes up soon."

"Hey, that was uncalled for!" Axel snapped. Saix walked past him.

"I warned you to keep out of this."

Axel shook his head angrily. "And I told you I can't. I have to know what Xion's deal is. Why can't you be straight with me for once?"

Saix gave a bitter smirk, glancing back at the red-head. "Just like you're always honest with me?"

Axel paused, then rolled his eyes. "Okay, you've got me there. Sheesh, you and Xurik both. Maybe I should start spilling out everyone's secrets if you're all going to give me hell for it."

Saix ignored Axel's joking tone. His sense of humor, as lacking as it was, had vanished entirely once he became a Nobody. "Xion has no right to be among our number."

"Why not?"

Saix looked at Axel, frowning. "What is it you three see in that thing? Just look at it."

Saix walked away silently, disappearing around the corner. Axel shook his head. What was that supposed to mean? Why wasn't Xion qualified to be one of the Organization?

He said to just look at her... but at what? The fact that she looks like Naminé?

Axel folded his arms, deep in thought. Could Xion and Naminé be connected somehow? Whose Nobody was Xion, anyway?

What is Saix hiding?

Day 173

Xurik was barely able to sleep that night, both out of worry for Xion and out of anxiousness to find out what Saix might say. As such, he was one of the first ones in the Grey Area the next morning. He ran up to Axel as soon as the man entered the room.

"Hey Xurik," he said, yawning.

"Did you find anything out?" Xurik said quickly, skipping the formalities. Axel smirked at his eagerness, but nodded.

"I talked to Saix. His... his lips were sealed." He sighed. "Sorry, man. I tried."

Xurik's face fell, but he nodded. "It's cool. Thanks anyway. I appreciate it."

"But, he did say he would take back calling her broken - if she proves herself more capable going forward." He gave a small smile and put his hand on Xurik's shoulder. "The best thing you can do for her now is keep up the good work."

Xurik beamed. "I will. That's good to hear." It wasn't much... but at least Saix wasn't being a complete jerk for once.

Besides... how long could someone stay asleep, anyway?

Day 193

Something was falling apart within him. Kairi was gone; she was gone; she was GONE. He'd given her his life, his world, everything, but she had turned it down, faithful to HIM until the bitter end. She would be somewhere in the castle by now, maybe being attacked by Heartless. He wanted to care, to want to make sure that she was still okay, but how could he allow himself to when she had betrayed him like that? His heart was struggling with itself, one side trying desperately to follow her, the other to stay, to sink into despair and emptiness like he so dearly wanted to do. His chest was aching with unbearable pain; he just wanted it to stop.

What do I do? he thought, eyes streaming with hot, bitter tears.

Let go, a voice said somewhere within him. The voice didn't belong to him, and yet it sounded familiar. Was it Ansem? How was he speaking directly into him? Did it even matter anymore?

You gave Kairi everything; Sora all but abandoned you; you have nothing left in this world. Why live on in pain? Give up your heart; make all of the suffering go away.

Surely nothingness would be better than this pain... wouldn't it? Kairi was gone...

It doesn't even hurt. Lose yourself... it's so much easier...

He felt himself slipping away; the aching in his chest began to give way to the sweet relief of soothing numbness. He began losing his sense of self, but what did it matter? He had nothing left... nothing at all. This was a pain that he couldn't endure. It was so much easier to fade away...

Xion's eyes fluttered open. Xurik and Roxas gasped in shock.

"Xion! You... you're awake!"

"M...morning." Xion sat up, wincing in pain - her head was throbbing. She glanced down at her bedside and smiled.

"You brought me seashells." How many were there? There had to be at least a dozen... maybe more. Was that how long she'd been asleep, one for every day? She picked up one of the shells and put it to her ear.

Xurik smiled. "Do you hear the ocean?"

Xion nodded. "Yeah, the sound of the waves. How long was I asleep?"

Roxas gave her a pained smile. "About twenty days."

Xion dropped the seashell with a gasp. "That long?"

"Yeah," Xurik said, nodding reluctantly. "Me, Roxas, and Axel were getting worried."

"I'm sorry. I feel bad," Xion said quietly. She gave a small smile. "Kind of... weird that we can feel anything at all, huh? Without hearts to feel with."

Roxas nodded. "Yeah..." It was something that he and Xurik had discussed a good deal over the past two weeks, at least when Axel was away. What was the difference between their feelings and "true" feelings? It was difficult to compare when they didn't remember what their lives were like before they became Nobodies.

"Hey, don't you two have work?" Xion said suddenly. The two exchanged glances; Roxas nodded.

"Yeah. We're together today... we're about to head out."

"Can I come too?" Xion said timidly.

"You should rest," Xurik said gently. Xion smiled and shook her head.

"After sleeping for three weeks? I'll be fine. C'mon, take me with you."

"Okay," Roxas said, glancing at Xurik and grinning. "It'll be fun. Like old times."

The three entered the Grey Area, and almost immediately ran into Saix. Xion shrank back on impulse; Xurik took her hand for support.

"Well, well," Saix said, looking down at Xion bitterly. "It lives. There's just no keeping you down."

Xion lowered her head. "Saix, I want to go with Roxas and Xurik today on their mission."

Saix smirked, but shook his head firmly. "You belong in your room."

"Oh, hey Xion!" Axel said cheerfully, approaching. "About time you crawled out of bed."

"Morning, Axel," Xion said stiffly, not looking away from Saix.

"Xurik will team up with Roxas today, as scheduled. Xion, I'm afraid I neglected to pencil you in."

"Don't keep me pent up in here," Xion pleaded. "I need the exercise."

"How about me?" Axel said with a grin, putting his hand on her shoulder. "I'll look after her. I promise not to let her out of my sight. Don't want her to be rusty from sleep when she goes on an actual mission alone tomorrow."

Saix rolled his eyes, but waved his hand dismissively. "Fine. Go, if that's what suits you."

As Saix walked away, Xion turned to Axel.

"Thanks... I appreciate the help."

"Don't look so glum," Axel said with a smirk. "I know you really wanted to team up with Xurik and Roxas... but you two are going to Twilight Town, yeah?"

"Yeah," Xurik said slowly. "There are a couple of Heartless we have to take out."

"Well, it just so happens that my mission is there as well. We can work together."

"Oh!" Xion said, her face brightening. "You mean... a four-man team? There are never even three-man teams!"

"Let's go, huh?" Axel said, smirking. "Before Saix changes his mind."

The four arrived in Twilight Town; all four of them were in a considerably better mood than during their face-off with Saix.

"This should be fun, huh?" Xion said brightly. "Grouping up like this."

"Yeah," Roxas said, smiling. "I think this is my first mission with more than two people, let alone four."

Axel nodded. "Just remember it's still a mission. We're not on a field trip, guys."

Xion waved her hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah. It sure is nice to be back on my feet."

"Just don't push it, you hear me? We'll pick up the slack."

Xion giggled, looking up at Axel. "I hear you. Thanks."

Xurik grinned broadly. Not only was Xion awake again, but now he was on a mission with all three of his favorite people. What were the odds of this happening? As much as Axel said that this wasn't a field trip, it kind of felt like it.

The four wandered through Twilight Town, chatting and laughing, when the Heartless in question suddenly appeared before them. With the four of them working together, the Heat Saber was destroyed almost immediately. So quickly, in fact, that it was almost funny.

"Damn... we're unstoppable!" Roxas said, grinning. Axel smirked.

"No need to be so modest, Roxas. People might think you don't have an inflated ego."

"Shut up," the boy said, laughing. "What's wrong with that? It's not me - it's all of us. Working together... the power of friendship."

Axel rolled his eyes. "The power of friendship? Really, Roxas? And I thought I was corny..."

Xion and Xurik laughed. They continued throughout Twilight Town, searching for the second Heartless to be eliminated... when Xion suddenly teetered. Her knees gave way, and a moment later she collapsed to the brick road.

"Xion!" Xurik shouted, but to Xion his voice was faint and distant, as if it were calling through water... as if she were sinking beneath the ocean.

Scenes flashed before her eyes. The red-haired girl flew into the brown-haired boy's open arms before vanishing completely... in the middle of a castle, the boy with silver hair thrust a Keyblade into the brown-haired boy's chest, releasing a brilliant glowing orb... the girl pressed a charm made of seashells into the silver-haired boy's hands as a world of darkness loomed before them.

It's my lucky charm, she was saying. Be sure to bring it back to me!

The second Heartless appeared suddenly. Xurik gasped, quickly looking from the creature to the lifeless Xion.

"I've got Xion!" Axel shouted. The girl was lying unconscious in the man's arms. "You two take out the target!"

Xurik and Roxas nodded. They immediately leapt forward, attacking in a flurry of sword, Keyblade, light, and darkness. Within moments, the Heartless vanished, its heart drifting off into the sunset.

As soon as the creature was dispatched, Xurik hurried to Xion's side. He looked down at her, eyes wide with worry. As he touched her cheek, she winced through her sleep.

"Riku..."

"Xion!" Xurik whispered. What was she talking about? What was a 'riku'? She wasn't brain-damaged, was she?

"It's okay," Axel said quietly, although he looked more concerned than he sounded. "She's not hurt."

"But-"

"Let's just RTC, all right?" Axel said firmly, looking up at the other two boys. Xurik and Roxas exchanged glances, but nodded. Xurik created a dark portal, and the three walked through it; Xion was cradled in Axel's arms.

As they made their way through the Castle corridors, Saix suddenly stepped into their path. He glanced down at Xion.

"Well, that didn't take long," he said in a bored tone. "Did it break again?"

"Shut up!" Xurik snapped at once. Roxas glared at him.

"She's not an 'it'!"

Axel said nothing. He began to walk past Saix, Xion still held gently in his arms.

"Keep your mouth shut," Axel said, his voice low and cold. Saix's eyes narrowed.

"You have changed..."

The three boys didn't seem to hear him; they disappeared around the corner. Saix frowned, then turned, looking up at Kingdom Hearts, glowing brightly above him.

"Something at Castle Oblivion changed you. Does the past mean nothing to you now?"

The silver light of Kingdom Hearts trickled through the window of Xion's bedroom as well. Axel laid her on the bed, far more gently than Xurik would have thought the man capable.

"Are you worried about her, Axel?" Roxas said quietly.

"Of course I am."

The boy gave a small smirk. "Doesn't seem like you."

The man looked surprised. "What do you mean?"

"You hate complications."

Xurik sat down at Xion's bedside. He agreed with Roxas - since when did Axel have a tender side? He was the one constantly preaching about them not having true feelings. He didn't even bother to get involved with the conversation; he didn't want them both to team up against Axel.

Axel gave Roxas a weary look. Finally he sighed. "Roxas... I meet up with you three every day for ice cream, right? Why do I do that?" He shook his head. "I mean, if you think about it, I don't need to go out of my way, right?"

Roxas looked down at the floor, abashed. "I guess not."

"You wanna know why I do?" He gave a small smile. "Because you're my best friends. The four of us... we're inseparable. Get it memorized. And you know what? Best friends are willing to deal with complications."

Xurik looked up, smiling. "What happened to needing a heart to care about things like that?"

Axel shrugged. "Hey, I don't pretend to know how all this works. But I thought about what you said before... and you're right. Losing you guys is a scary thought... even if it's not a scary feeling, per se. That's better than nothing, right?"

Xion gave a weak chuckle; the three boys looked down at her in surprise. "Thanks, Axel. You're sweet."

Axel scratched his head in embarassment. Xurik grinned - thank goodness she was okay. He didn't know what he would have done if she had been unconscious for another three weeks.

"Feeling better?"

"I just got a little dizzy. Sorry to worry you guys."

Axel smiled. "Try not to scare us like that anymore, huh?"

"Okay."

He put his hands on his hips, looking like a stern parent. "And you take it easy today."

She giggled. "I will. Thanks."

A thin white curtain fluttered from the delicate breeze coming through the window - golden light trickled in from the sunset. The girl sat in a polished white chair, silently sketching on a sheet of paper.

"Who is she?" Sora said quietly, looking over her shoulder. His black cloak was a stark contrast to the white marble room. "I met her a few weeks ago. She looks... she looks just like Kairi. But she can't be her Nobody... you know that."

Naminé shook her head. "I don't know yet. But whoever she is... they have a very strong connection. You can feel it too, can't you Sora?"

On Naminé's sketchbook, four people were drawn - all in black cloaks, all holding hands.