Hi lovely readers,
Thank you so much for the reviews on the last chapter, as always it means so much! This prompt was requested by a guest, I did a little research into this and struggled to find a situation that would result in total bed rest so just a heads up to everyone that I'm sure in some places at the beginning this isn't quite medically correct.
I hope it's what your were after though and I hope you enjoy. If the newborn baby stage isn't for you then I don't think this little prompt will be. I loved writing this though so I really hope you all enjoy! It's quite a long one and super fluffy in places.
Enjoy reading!
The fear of the unknown has been defined by researchers as a fear caused by a perceived lack of knowledge or information. This is something that the great Sheldon Cooper never struggled with, he had a wealth of knowledge and an eidetic memory that meant he could relay facts and recall details with high precision.
The birth of his daughter just four days ago had been just that, a huge fear of the unknown. He had been terrified to witness Amy going through something as painful as childbirth and he had no idea what to do once his daughter was born. Still four days later, he still had no idea what to do, she was so tiny and fragile and up until now, with a prolonged hospital stay, her care had mainly been in the hands of nurses and midwives.
Emily's birth had been far from the well thought out, detailed birth plan Amy had put together. Although, Amy knew labour had a mind of its own and really once the first contraction hit birth plans went out of the window, she was set on having a peaceful and serene birth yet their daughter had other ideas.
She had decided to arrive five weeks early, Amy was still working, her maternity leave was due to start in just a weeks time. She had been looking forward to relaxing, taking some time for herself and preparing for her daughters arrival, however their eager child never gave her the chance to do that.
From the moment Amy's water broke, everything seemed to go wrong. Emily had been in a less than ideal position which meant for a more painful labour and a slightly tricky delivery, Amy pushed for hours and when she reached a point of exhaustion it was eventually decided that assistance was needed. If that wasn't enough for Amy to go through and for Sheldon to witness, not long after the birth, Amy haemorrhaged. Sheldon wasn't sure he'd ever be able to erase the moment from his mind, he saw it every time he closed his eyes, every time he curled up in one of those awfully uncomfortable hospital chairs to sleep, he saw Amy and blood, so much blood.
Never one to heap tons of praise on to others, Sheldon really couldn't have thanked the doctors and nurses enough. They had saved the most important person in his life, his rock and whole world, if the worse did happen he had no idea what he would have done, he couldn't do life without her. He didn't know how and didn't want too. The neonatal staff had been amazing too, they had kept his little daughter safe and healthy, this little person that had absolutely taken over his world and completely captured his heart. He really did owe his life to them all.
Finally on the fifth day, they were all able to head home. From the moment Emily had been born, Amy had been desperate to go home, she needed to be in a familiar environment, somewhere she could just relax and feel comfortable. Naturally, she had spent the last few days on tender hooks, every time the door to her room opened she anticipated someone bringing her bad news, whether it be about her or Emily, she was just constantly fearing the worst, she couldn't relax at all. More than anything, after waiting for so long, she was just desperate to be a little family, she couldn't wait to begin their life together and make memories that would be treasured forever. However, for now that would all have to wait as for the next two weeks, Amy was placed on strict bed rest.
When she had first been told she cried, when she relayed the information back to Sheldon she cried. This wasn't what she wanted, it wasn't the plan. These first few weeks of her daughters life were so precious, she was heartbroken that she would have to spend them essentially in bed.
Sheldon wanted to cry too, he had been relying on Amy so much to show him how to be a good father, he needed her support and guidance, her reassurance that he was doing a good job. Burdening her with his worries, he was not going to do, she needed to rest and he sure as hell would make sure she did. He would have to step up in a way that had never been required of him before, his wife needed him, his daughter needed him, his family needed him to be strong and hold them all together for just a few weeks.
—
Sheldon gazed at Emily, sitting in the centre of his living room, sound asleep in her car seat. He had spent the last four days living one day at a time, terrified something dreadful was just round the corner. Getting through each day was his goal, that had been his focus so much so that he hadn't realised how much he had been longing to have this moment.
She was home. Amy was home. Breathing a sigh of relief and feeling the weight of the world lift from his shoulders, his little family were safe and that was the most important thing in the world to him, he would never, ever take that for granted again.
Sheldon was sure he'd never be able to stop watching her partly because he wanted to keep her safe and the only way that was achievable was to be constantly watching her. Secondly, because she was the most beautiful little thing he had ever seen, it seemed impossible to want to stare at anything else. Even though, they were currently closed her eyes resembled his, that was what Amy had told him anyway, in fact Amy spent the whole car ride home telling Sheldon just how much their daughter looked like him. He had to agree, she was his double and it made him as proud as punch.
The kettle that was boiling on the stove suddenly broke Sheldon from his thoughts and reminded him he wasn't alone. Upon arrival home, following the doctors orders Amy retreated to be where she would spend the next two weeks, she was incredibly reluctant but understood this was all part of her recovery. She had to give herself a break, what she had been through was very traumatic and she needed the time to properly heal. Sheldon was in total awe of her, he was in total awe of women in general.
Knowing he had to complete a task that monetarily took his attention away from his daughter left him feeling incredibly overwhelmed. All he had to do was make Amy the cup of tea he had promised her and deliver it to her in their bedroom. This was only a cup of tea, the next few weeks didn't bode well if he couldn't perform a task as simple as that.
Thinking quickly, an idea struck him. Deep down, he knew Emily would be okay, she was sound asleep and unlikely to come to any danger but the thought of leaving her alone just didn't sit well with him.
"I thought I would bring her in here" Sheldon whispered as he opened their bedroom door and very carefully carried Emily in her car seat. He knew, despite her bed rest, Amy wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. "I know she's asleep but I didn't want to leave her alone. Are you okay to watch her whilst I make you tea?" he asked, as he gently placed her down.
"Of course" Amy smiled sweetly. Although on the inside her stomach was churning and her heart dropped, it wasn't supposed to be like this, they were supposed to be doing this together, working as a team. Taking everything in turns and sharing the load, suddenly this had all fallen on Sheldon's shoulders.
"I'll be really quick, I promise" as Sheldon left the room, Amy also found herself becoming enthralled by her daughter, how could someone so small have changed her life so much. Everything now was for her and within seconds of meeting her she instantly understood what unconditional love was. "One mug of tea right here" Sheldon smiled as he ended their room, he placed the mug down on a coaster just a few inches away from Amy's reach. Using his hand to smooth down the duvet, he perched himself down next to Amy, he felt himself again sighing deeply as he took in the sight of his family before him.
"Thank you" Amy smiled. "And thank you for everything you're going to do" she reached for his hands, lacing her fingers with his and giving it a squeeze. "I really don't know what I'd do without you" her voice was so soft and gentle and in that moment Sheldon believed every word.
"It's okay" he would do anything for them, it had taken the last few days to really hammer that home. "You just need to make sure you rest" he squeezed her hand this time, letting her know just how much he cared.
"Oh look" Amy gushed quietly. "She's waking up" Sheldon followed Amy's gaze until it reached their daughter. Her tiny bod shuffling delicately as she woke from her peaceful slumber, her little limbs stretching out, arms above her head and hands balled into fists. They waited with baited breath for her reaction was she going to scream the place down or contently lay there and take in her surroundings. Thankfully, it was the latter, her huge eyes taking in the sights around her, her first home. "Hello" Amy smiled, her eyes lighting up and sparkling, it was like someone had suddenly breathed new life into her. "Did you have a lovely sleep?" Amy asked, Emily's eyes trying to find her mother, already recognising her voice.
Sheldon was quickly by her side, crouched down on the floor in front of her as he gently undid the straps and carefully scooped her up from her car seat. He was still unsure about holding her, still not one hundred percent confident with a tiny, wriggly human in his arms. He held her close to his chest, her head peaking just above his shoulders as she gazed around the room.
"Hello Emily" he kept a hand on her back, as he instinctively rocked her. "Welcome home" he smiled.
—
The days events had lulled Sheldon into a false sense of security, Emily had been a dream baby and been completely content being cuddled by her father and mother. It meant a lot to Amy to know that she could help Sheldon in some way and bond with her daughter, simply by holding and cuddling her whilst Sheldon did jobs around the house. As silly as it sounds she felt useful and less of the burden that she knew she was.
As the evening went on, Amy spent time with Emily, albeit from the comfort of her bed whilst Sheldon prepared dinner. With Emily laying on her jungle gym, taking in the brightly coloured animals that hung above her, Sheldon and Amy ate dinner on the bed. A concept that before all of this Sheldon would have never entertained, the idea still left him a little on edge but he didn't like the thought of them both eating at separate times in different rooms. It seemed isolating and lonely.
Sheldon had managed to navigate his way through bath time. It was safe to say he'd never been more nervous in all his life and yet couldn't have been prouder with himself once it was all over. He was still getting to grips with holding her, to now combine that with water and an even wriggler and excitable baby was pretty terrifying but he some how got through it. Dressing Emily was a whole other story, having to expertly guide her limbs into her clothing was a challenge he hadn't quite prepared for. However, seeing how utterly adorable she looked in her crisp white baby grow made it all worth it.
Sheldon joined Amy in bed not long after placing Emily down in her bassinet. For now his sleep schedule was abandoned, knowing that he needed to sleep when Emily slept to maximise how rested he would be.
"Good night" he turned to kiss Amy on the cheek.
"You did such a good job today Sheldon, I'm really proud of you" Sheldon couldn't recall the last time someone had told him they were proud of him.
"Let's not get too carried away, it's not even been twenty four hours yet" he knew that the hardest part was yet to come and with Amy being bedridden it was the part he would have to handle on his own.
"It's a good start though" she gave him a small smile.
"Well, I mean if today is anything to go by I think I might be pretty good at this father stuff" he was being smug and had debated voicing his thoughts at all out of fear of jinxing anything and jinxing it he did.
It was a little after midnight when the new parents were woken up to the wails of their daughter. Her cries hurt Sheldon's heart, he never wanted to her to be distressed or upset. Peeling back the duvet, he crept quietly over to the bassinet where she lay, already unaware that Amy was awake. Maybe it was her maternal instinct but Amy's eyes pinged open just seconds before her daughter started to cry.
"Hello" he whispered, peering over the bassinet. Emily's face was all screwed up and bright red, her hands balled into angry little fists that she held above her head, her eyes wet with tears. Placing his hands on the sides of bassinet, he gently started to rock her, hoping that would do the trick. He really didn't know what to do, did he keep doing this or did he scoop her up in his arms. Was she hungry? Too cold or too warm? Did she need changing? Did she just want to be cuddled? He wished she could just tell him. "Oh don't cry Emily, it's okay" he cooed gently as he continued to rock her.
When she didn't stop crying and let out a little sobbing breath, Sheldon's heart broke and he instantly scooped up her into his arms, holding her close against his chest as he rocked from side to side. "It's okay, it's okay, shush, shush" he continued to rock her, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.
"Is she okay?" Amy asked, turning on her bedside lamp and sitting up in bed. "I think she could be hungry" Amy had been desperate to breastfeed but due to their circumstances it hadn't been ideal for the first few days and when Amy tried Emily simply wouldn't latch on the way they'd hoped. In the end, she expressed, Sheldon was grateful for that because as he had told her a million times breastfeeding required lots of energy and she needed to rest as much as possible.
"Okay" he nodded. "I'll go and grab her a bottle, I'll feed her in the living room so you can sleep" Sheldon told her as he held Emily close.
"No, it's fine… you don't…." the bedroom door had already slammed shut before Amy could finish her sentence. Sheldon had moved so quickly, he had been so in the zone and just desperate to stop Emily's cried that he hadn't even waited for Amy to respond.
She absolutely hated this, she wanted nothing more than to feed her daughter, to lie awake holding her in her arms and feeling that close bond. That is how it should have been. It was how it would be in two weeks time, she had to keep telling herself that, this wasn't forever. Although, it pained her she decided to try and sleep, that's what Sheldon wanted it's what all the medical staff told her she needed, rest and lots of it. She concluded that maybe if she slept and was well rested maybe in the morning she could at least hold Emily or keep her entertained whilst Sheldon slept.
—
"Come on little Em, you've got to work with me here" Sheldon whispered desperately as he sat in the dimly lit living room. Emily had been awake for hours now. He had fed her, changed her and didn't dare put her down until she stopped crying. She had given him hope, a brief few moments where her tears would stop but then just as he allowed himself to breathe with relief she would start again. When he spoke to her, her tears stopped and she gazed up at him with her dark blue eyes. "Is that what you like?" he asked, "hearing my voice" it made him smile that she recognised his voice and maybe that alone was a comfort to her.
He continued to stare at her tiny little frame that was nestled in his arms as he tried his hardest to stifle a series of yawns and stop his eyes from closing. His fingers danced across her skin, outlining her face and features, he hoped the gentle gesture would help lull her to sleep. It stopped her cries and Sheldon appreciated the silence.
For the moment everything felt still. He wondered how many other parents were in his position right now. Wide awake at this ungodly hour with their tiny newborn, simply willing them to go back to sleep whilst fighting the urge themselves. He looked at her eyes, that were showing no sign of sleep, he took in her gorgeous button nose, red lips and tear stained cheeks. He was completely and utterly head over heels in love with her.
"I really think you should go to sleep now" he told her quietly. "Mumma is fast asleep, daddy is really tired and secretly, I think you're tired too" he explained. "You need to sleep because I've read that babies need to get between 14-17 hours sleep a day and I think the best time to do that would be right now" her eyes were still fixed on him. Sheldon nodded as he spoke hoping in some way that she understood what he was saying or would in some way respond to the gesture. He knew it was highly unlikely.
He spent the next twenty minutes talking to her, he had reached a point of tiredness where he wasn't entirely sure what he was saying to her, he just knew he needed to talk. She liked it when he spoke, whimpering slightly whenever silence fell. Eventually, after what felt like a life time he saw her eyes grow heavy and begin to close.
Suddenly, he didn't know what to do. She was nearly asleep in his arms, he was exhausted too and knew he couldn't get to sleep with her like this. He needed to place her down and then he too could finally rest but laying Emily down would mean going into the room he shared with Amy. It would mean climbing into bed beside her, the rustling of the duvet, the risk of Emily waking yet again, he was sure in just an hours time she would be ready for another feed. The thought made him feel all the more exhausted.
Slowly, he rose himself up from the sofa. He was surprised he could keep his balance and keep hold of Emily. Carefully, he crept into the bedroom, with one hand securely tucked under Emily, keeping her close to his chest, his other reached out and took hold of the bassinet. He somehow managed to drag the bassinet out of their bedroom and into the living room, positioning it next to the couch. For tonight, this is where they would sleep.
The pacing and movement from the living room to the bedroom had been enough to securely say that Emily was now asleep.
"Goodnight" he whispered. His lips placed a gentle to kiss her forehead before he placed her in the bassinet. He headed for the sofa where he plumped up the cushions, draped a blanket over himself and desperately willed himself to sleep.
—
Sheldon had naively assumed that the more he ploughed on with their routine that he had managed to put in place, the easier it would become. Unfortunately, that didn't seem to be the case. He knew the newborn phase was hard and when Amy had been pregnant the sleepless nights were what he had always been warned about, but he didn't listen, he thought with his lack of experience and expertise in this area that he knew best. How wrong he had been.
The past three days had been filled with taking care of Emily, taking care of Amy and ensuring that the apartment was clean and tidy. He knew the latter wasn't all that important but it was something that mattered to him, he couldn't relax or switch off if he knew something needed cleaning or tidying up and so for the past three days that had been his life.
Nothing ever seemed to be complete. As soon as Emily was settled he had to start preparing lunch or dinner, once Amy was taken care of Emily would suddenly wake up. He adored his little family but right now everything was exhausting and he felt like a shell of his former self, body simply on auto pilot completing the tasks and routines every single day.
Thankfully, on day four Penny suggested that Sheldon and Emily accompany her and Lucas on one of their daily walks to the park. Sheldon wasn't entirely sure he had the energy to endure a walk but he knew he and Emily needed to leave the apartment, they need fresh air and wide open spaces. Maybe a change of scenery would be the restart he needed.
"Honestly, how are you?" Penny asked once they were settled at the park. Penny and Sheldon were situated on a bench, she had jumped at the chance to have a cuddle with her newborn niece whilst Lucas sat near their feet playing in the sand box. Sheldon couldn't believe how much he had grown, maybe it was because he was now comparing him to Emily, a tiny, dainty little thing.
Lucas was now a real little person. He was very cute, he resembled his mother physically but did have dark hair like his father. Sheldon watched as Lucas played with his bucket and spade and took fistfuls of sand that he let fall by his sides.
"I'm tired" Sheldon was never one to open up about his feeling, maybe he was too tried to realise what he was doing but it all just came spilling out. "I'm so tired. I feel like I haven't slept for days and I'm constantly worried I'm doing something wrong" he hadn't quite realised until the words were out just how honest he had been.
"Welcome to parenthood" Penny laughed, finally taking her eyes away from Emily. She glanced at Sheldon who seemed somewhere far away, she could remember feeling exactly the same when Lucas was just days old. That feeling of exhaustion and losing yourself and wondering if you were ever going to get yourself back. "Hey" she placed a hand on his knee. "I know it's hard with Amy on bed rest but you're doing a great job" he offered her a small smile, maybe he needed to hear that more than he realised. "And you know if you need anything at all, we're right across the hall. I mean you don't even have to leave the apartment, just stand in the doorway and push her stroller across and she's ours until you want her back" she laughed at the image she had conjured up in her head. Sheldon smiled.
"It's okay. I wouldn't want to give you any more work to do, you have Lucas" he gestured to the little boy who was now throwing sand around. "Thank you though, I do appreciate it."
"Anytime at all. Don't you worry" she patted his knee affectionately. "I might have to hand this gorgeous little one back" Penny turned to Sheldon quickly, handing Emily back into his arms, it sounded ridiculous but for those mere few moments he had missed holding her. "I need to stop my son from emptying the sand box"
—
Their morning trip to the park had extended into the afternoon with Penny treating Sheldon to lunch and ice cream. She of course wanted to spend time with him but she also knew that having lunch out would be one less thing for him to think or worry about upon his return home.
He had watched Penny tending to Emily, she was so gentle and motherly and Emily seemed so content and relaxed around her. She was that totally chilled out baby that Sheldon hadn't seen for a few days, maybe she was just glad to see a new face, maybe already she saw him as that over bearing father.
"I picked up some lunch for you" Sheldon told Amy as he wheeled Emily's stroller into the bedroom and pulled out a brown paper bag from the compartment below. The walk home at clearly sent her into a deep sleep and the last thing he wanted to do was move or wake her up.
"Thank you" Amy smiled as she took the bag from him and placed it on her night stand. "Did you have a nice morning?" she asked. Of course, she knew Sheldon and Emily needed to get out of the apartment, she would never deny them that, but there was a huge part of her that was totally devastated to know she couldn't join them on their first family outing.
"Yeah" he nodded. "She's sound asleep now" he collapsed on the bed, the soft fabric cushioning his fall, sheer relief washed over him at the thought of just being able to relax even it was just for a few minutes. Amy watched him, she noticed the dark circles around his eyes, his complexion was dull and he looked as if all the life had been sucked out of him. Despite her feeling guilty, her heart swelled with love at simply how wonderful and supportive he was being.
"Hey" she smiled warmly at him, smoothing out the duvet at her side. "Come here" she patted the space next to her. She didn't need to ask him twice as he instantly shuffled closer to her, wrapping an arm around her middle and laying his head against her chest. The immense comfort that this brought him was overwhelming and Amy instantly knew this by how affectionate he was being. She felt him sigh, his whole body moving up and down as he breathed before cuddling her even tighter. "Do you resent me?" she found herself asking quietly, almost scared of the answer.
"Resent you?" he asked, looking up at her from beneath his lashes, his blue eyes were the most adorable thing she had ever seen. "Why on earth would I resent you?" her question had quite genuinely shocked him.
"Because I can't be a good mother. I can't even be a good wife" she sighed, clearly this had been playing on her mind for a while. "I wanted to have a baby so much and now she's here I can't ever take care of her" as she ran her fingers through his hair, Sheldon could see the tears forming in Amy's eyes.
"Amy, none of that can be helped" he squeezed her tightly. "You did the most important job in the world and that was getting here safely. Without you there would be no Emily and well..well she's the best thing that's ever happened to me" Amy wanted to cry even more at his admission.
"You're incredible do you know that" she kissed his head and he squeezed her even tighter than before, she didn't care though, she was just glad he didn't feel like she was letting them all down. "How you've stepped up and been just the best father I could have ever hoped for for our daughter. You've looked after us all and you have no idea what that means to me Sheldon. Thank you, thank you for just everything" she gushed feeling a few tears that she didn't want to let fall leak from her eyes.
"You both needed me. It was the right thing to do, you don't need to thank me" in that moment, in Amy's hour of need, he couldn't think of doing anything other than stepping up and being the husband and father they both deserved.
"I love you so much! Do you know that. So much. More than I did yesterday and the day before that. You're perfect Sheldon Cooper and I'm never going to let you forget it" what he had done for their family, what he was continuing to do was more than Amy could have ever imagined. She had to pinch herself and ask herself how in the hell she got so lucky.
"Wow" he whispered. He was truly speechless and feeling rather emotional which he was putting down to the lack of sleep. "I love you too. So much. Both of you."
Thank you all so much for reading. I really hope this was okay. As always your reviews are always welcome and so appreciated! I love hearing your thoughts.
Stay safe
Lots of love xxx