A/N: Disclaimer: Refer back to Chapter 1. The song Prayer belongs to ATLUS USA.
WARNING: OOC, LANGUAGE, ANGST, GORE, LEMON.
PAIRING: Heat x Sera
Chapter VII
Theme 25: So Hungry…
Sera looked at him with sympathy. She sighed; he was doing it again. He was trying to hide it from her…But she could see it as plain as day…
He was suffering, wasn't he?
There he was, leaning against the wall, being grumpier than usual.
She watched with a mixture of amusement and empathy as she watched her other comrades be rebuffed and rebuked one after another by their grumpy yet strong comrade.
'Heat…' she trailed off mentally as she saw him…
She blinked and straightened up as she watched him walk away. Where was he going? She bit her lip and clasped her hands together as if in a prayer. It was her fault wasn't it? Yes it was. She was the cause of all of their suffering and misery…
If it weren't for her, they wouldn't be feeling the way they did now.
If it weren't for her…they wouldn't be suffering from the ever recalcitrant hunger that drove them almost to the pit of insanity…
Her heart felt heavy as she thought more about it. Heat was suffering more than the others, wasn't he?
Yes; he was. The curse had affected him the most…
That was why she had felt horrible. It was because of her…If only there was something that she could do to ease his suffering…to alleviate his pain…If only there was something that she could say or do to make it all go away, she would say it; she would do it.
That was why she had opted to follow him. He didn't have to be alone. It was in these times, when things were hazy and uncertain that one needed others…It wasn't the time to be alone…Being alone would only further his madness.
That was why she was following him…
Where was he going…?
She saw him round a corner and disappeared. She frowned; no! She would not be refused! Her walk broke into a slow but firm jog and she sharply turned the corner only to be grabbed and slammed against the wall behind her.
She felt the wind be knocked out of her as she realized that she had hit both her back as well as the back of her head.
"What are you doing here?!" a male voice thundered.
She immediately opened her eyes and there she was met with fiery blazing blood-red orbs, intently gazing into her surprised silver jewels, "Heat…!" she half-squealed as he gripped her upper arms tightly.
"You're hurting me…!" she pleaded with him.
Heat was surprised; he was shocked. He knew that someone had been following him but never did he think that it would be…her…
Sera…
He didn't mean to hurt her…
And at the sight of her, helpless against the wall, and at the sound of her pleas…he immediately felt horrible…
He took a step back, letting her go, his eyes no longer scanning hers keenly…no longer malevolently assessing her silver pools but now pleading…asking for forgiveness for his apparent brutish behavior…
"I'm sorry…"
Sera's heart melted as she heard such words in such a tone pass through his lips.
"Heat…"
Their gazes locked themselves together and Heat looked away. He didn't want to look into her eyes…He couldn't afford to lose himself in her eyes…Not anymore.
What he felt for her was no secret. And what his predisposition was with regard to his curse was no secret either. He didn't want to do something that he would regret later on…
He didn't want to hurt her…
He cursed himself as he realized that he had done just that a few moments prior…
He knew that she did not feel the same towards him and losing himself in her eyes would only bring about his downfall…It would only serve as the catalyst that would finally push him over the edge…
Sera saw the conflict in his eyes. He wanted to be with her but at the same time, he wanted to isolate himself…far away from her…
He was refusing her help…wasn't he?
"What are you doing here?" he asked her gruffly, turning his eyes further away.
"I was just…"
"You were following me." he deadpanned coldly, cutting her off. "Why?" he asked nonchalantly; still not meeting her eyes.
She bit her lip, "I was…" she admitted.
"Why?" he asked again.
Why was she doing the things she was doing? Didn't she know what she was doing to him? He was hungry…Oh so hungry…
They had just gotten back from a hunt but he couldn't seem to satiate his growing feeling of hunger…But hunger for what…?
For blood…?
For meat…?
For flesh…?
Whatever it was…he didn't know. All that he knew was that no one should be near him. He himself could hardly control himself; his inhibitors were all lax and relaxed…
And now Sera was coming up to him…bare and vulnerable…? What did she expect from him…? Did she expect him to be a total gentleman to her…? Refined and well-bred…?
'She's barking up the wrong fucking tree…!' he seethed internally.
"I just wanted to know if you were alright…" she told him honestly. Why couldn't he see that she meant him no harm…? Why couldn't he comprehend that she only wished to help him? In these times, being alone was the worst thing anyone could ever do…
He'd only worsen his own situation; couldn't he see that?
"I'm fine." he snapped at her, responding haughtily as he crossed his arms, his eyes glazing over hers intently, yet calmly.
She cast her face down, rubbing her arms where he grabbed her, "Oh…I'm sorry if I bothered you…" she trailed off apologetically.
Heat felt guilty; she didn't mean any harm and there she was apologizing to him when it was clear that it was he who owed her an apology. But then again, he'd never let her know that. He was already at the mercy of his curse; he didn't need a woman to be pulling his already shortened leash.
"Hn…Just don't do it again." he told her gruffly before walking away.
She looked on after him with a saddened expression, "Heat…"
xxxxx
It was the dead of the night…Sera remained awake…She couldn't sleep. She had closed her eyes and had tried to get some sleep but it continued to elude her…She didn't feel right. She still felt as if she had an undone obligation towards Heat…
And his words earlier had stung her heart.
He probably thought of her as a nuisance, didn't he…?
She sat up suddenly as she felt an intense prick of pain poking at her heart. What was that…?
She blinked and shook her head, clutching her hurting heart. Why did it hurt…? She wasn't wounded…
She frowned and after realizing that she wasn't going to get any sleep, she had thrown the covers from her petite body and got dressed in her Embryon uniform.
A moment later, she found herself walking along the streets of Muladhara. All was still and all was quiet. She made her way to the park and walked towards a bench by the street lamp. Her thoughts of Heat pervaded her mind.
He hated her, didn't he?
He was probably blaming her for all that had happened…
At that thought, tears were threatening to spill from her eyes…but she fought them back. She didn't want to be weak. She didn't want to be useless.
Useless…
That had been the word to describe her, wasn't it?
She did nothing for the tribe…And she didn't even know how to unleash her "so-called" power. She hated herself. And the fact that she remembered nothing about her past only added salt to the injury…
She suddenly ceased her thoughts of self-pity as she heard a distant noise.
'No…It's not…' she trailed off.
It wasn't noise…
It was…It was the sound of someone crying…
Crying…?
No…that was wrong too. That was misleading. It was the sound of someone wailing uncontrollably…But it wasn't a person's sounds…It wasn't a person's cries…
It was…
'An ashura…!' she thought knowingly, recognizing the painful cries that seem to float with the cool breeze…
With her eyebrows furrowed and her spirit filled with conviction, she stood from the bench and followed the heartrending wails. She would help this tortured soul. She would. It was the least that she could do for whoever that unfortunate person might be…
The faint sounds had led her to a secluded spot of Muladhara. She blinked; she didn't even know that such a place existed…
She stiffened as she found what she had been looking for…She gasped and covered her mouth with her palms as she beheld the grotesque figure before her…
It was…
"Heat…!" she gasped breathlessly as she beheld him. He was there, in his ashura form, kneeling in front of mutilated bodies and corpses…
The aforesaid monster turned to look at her, growling and snarling, its cries drowning within his mouths before he could utter them. Now, no longer filled with remorse, he stood and growled at her as if not recognizing her…
"Heat…! Stop…!" she pleaded openly, lightly yelling as she continued to stand, rooted on her spot. No; she would not be weak. She would not relent, yield or stop.
She would hold her ground.
She knew what it was Heat was going through. He was hiding it…This was what he had been hiding after all…
His unquenchable thirst for blood…his voracious hunger…
That was why he had told her to leave him alone. He didn't believe that anyone could help him. She looked at him painfully; she was there for him. She would help him…!
"What are you…doing here…?" he lowly asked, advancing towards her steadily, his claws clenching and unclenching. Sera's heart hung heavily within her chest but she had decided; she would help him. Even if he tore her limb from limb, she would help him.
"I've come to help you Heat…!"
He snarled at that and stopped, "No one can help me…"
Her breath got caught up in her throat as she listened to his desperate voice…And there, she crossed the threshold.
She walked over to him.
"Don't come near me…!" the ashura warned.
She paid him no heed and advanced on him steadily, her silver eyes never leaving his form. She would save him…
As she got nearer and nearer to him, her heart began to feel at ease, no longer feeling nervousness or apprehension…or anxiety.
She was sure…
As she took more steps closer to him, ignoring his firm warnings and his frightful snarls, she slowly parted her lips…and began her hymn…
"Light shines on the heaven
The earth the spirit
Light brings glory and grace
May it open your eyes to the truth Shanti
Shanti…"
She felt her heart swell in relief as she watched him fall onto his knees, reverting back to his human form…
Seeing him that way, she ran to him and caught him in her arms, resting his head on her chest, "Heat…! Are you…alright?" she asked gently, her silver eyes peering deeply within his blood-red orbs.
He merely nodded, closing his eyes.
She smiled; gladdened…
xxxxx
It had been a week now…and from her opinion, Heat was doing fine. She worried a bit though. She would always be there to restore his sanity whenever he would need it…however…what bothered her was that his sanity loss seemed to occur more and more.
She had watched him in battle.
His eyes were glowing like a madman's at the sight of a kill…She watched with horrified eyes as his claws tore the helpless warm flesh, shivering from a maniacal sense of delight…
She watched helplessly as he devoured what had been a human being, without remorse…without a second thought…
It wasn't his fault; he was…hungry…
It wasn't a crime to sustain one's self. It was just that…the way in which he did so, bothered her.
And then, even after such an exhilarating hunt, after the plentiful feast, she would find him looking for more…never being satisfied…always looking for the next prey. That was when she would step in, putting a momentary halt to his rampage.
And then, he would be calm…and thank her…
After that, he would want to be alone. He would never meet her eyes though. Not even once. That was something more that bothered her too.
Why was it that he could thank her without hesitation without ever looking into her eyes…? Did he hate her…? Or did he hate what she was able to do for him…? Perhaps he felt wrong being obligated to someone else…?
"Sera."
She stiffened as she heard her name being spoken. She blinked; she had just entered her room and it was pitch-dark.
"Who's there…?" she asked, fumbling for the light switch when a hand grabbed hers, stilling her movement. She stiffened.
"It's me."
Her heart felt at ease then. It was Heat.
"Heat…? What are you doing here?"
"…" He said nothing and took a step back, letting her hand free. He could feel his muscles tightening. He didn't want to do that…he didn't want to let go of her. He just wanted to hold her, cradle her in his arms…But knowing that his hands would only transform into claws, he had rather let her go and watch from afar than endanger her…
"Don't do that…" he told her, telling her to leave the room the way it was; dark and dreary.
She nodded although she doubted he could see her doing so.
"Heat, what's wrong…?" she asked worriedly.
She felt him move away from her and there made towards her bed, sitting down on it, "Please sing for me…" he softly said.
She blinked; sing…?
She smiled and nodded. Without any questions, she sung…
Heat closed his eyes, relishing in the sweet sound of her voice…It was soothing the beast inside of him…It was restraining the murderer in him…He sighed; how he wished he could feel that way…always…
He opened his eyes once more as he heard her song come to an end. His heart stopped. No…It couldn't be…! He knew it…!
He stood up abruptly, "Thank you Sera."
Sera held her hands to her chest; what happened? Why did he suddenly change in his demeanor?
Heat couldn't take it any longer…Her scent…Her scent was overwhelming his senses. Her alluring fragrance was driving his hunger further and further…
'No…! Not her…!' he screamed at himself as he continued to feel the way he did. He could feel his whole body screaming for her.
But what of it…?
What exactly did he want?
He paled as he began to think that perhaps his body wanted to taste her flesh…to devour her. No! It'll never happen! He'd kill himself first…!
Sera could feel the hair on her skin beginning to stand as she felt the air around them change. He was…he was being unrestrained.
"Heat…?" she asked shakily.
"I better go." he told her, brushing past her.
It was a wrong choice. Pain engulfed his system as his shoulder collided softly with hers. Even now, after calmly speaking to her, he could feel his desire to taste her continuing to intensify. He had to get out of that room!
It had been a mistake from the very beginning to have been there in the first place! Now he was endangering her!
'Damn fuck of a body…!' he screamed at himself.
Sera would not let him go again. No. He had changed back. She could feel his sanity beginning to seep away! No! If she let him go now, innocent people could get hurt.
She grabbed his bare arm with her hand, "Heat wait!"
His heart stopped and his blood ran cold. She had…touched him…
Why!?
Was she fucking crazy…!? Couldn't she tell that he wasn't being himself…!? Didn't she realize that she was only making things worse!?
He yanked his arm from her but was surprised as he found that she held on.
"Let go."
"No…"
He turned around and looked at her; his glowing eyes piercing her silver eyes, "No?" he repeated, "Do you have any idea of what you are doing…?" he growled, glaring at her.
"I'm going to help you…" she breathed out.
He snarled at her, his whole body glowing, showing her the glyphs that were seemingly tattooed onto his flesh, "No one can help me…!"
Her heart skipped a beat; he was changing…!
Her spirit was neither shaken nor was her soul surprised. She parted her lips and sung…Her heart continued to remain calm even as she saw that her hymn had no effect…
He was kneeling before her now, his face cast down, his forehead pressing against her flat stomach. His body was continuing to change…
She should be afraid…He could kill her easily…But she wasn't…She understood now what it was that she felt for him…It was that peculiar and strange emotion that she felt for him that kept her awake that night…
It was that elusive and nameless feeling that had woken her from her daze that night…It was that sensation on her spine that had enabled her to hear him crying, wailing desperately in the dead of the night praying for salvation…
She understood now…
She understood and comprehended fully the source of his malady…
And what was more was that she trusted him…
He would not harm her. No…He wouldn't…
Why…?
Because whatever that peculiar and strange emotion that she felt for him…whatever it was that elusive and nameless feeling she had for him…whatever sensation it was on her spine that she possessed for him were things that he himself had for her.
He felt them too…
She knew, now, more than ever as their hands touched…as their bodies communicated. She knew…he felt it too. That was why he would not harm her.
That was why she too had sunk to the floor…Sera closed her eyes as she moved her arms and hands, encircling his shaking form within her warm body…letting him know and feel that she was there for him…
She wanted to let him know and feel that she understood…and that she wouldn't abandon him…no matter what happened…
She pressed his head against her chest and to her glee, he did not object and held onto her for dear life…
"Oh Heat…Don't hide from me…" she quietly said, with all the gentleness and sincerity that she could muster.
Heat closed his eyes, just listening to the calm beating of her heart…Calm? Yes. It was calm. She wasn't afraid of him. A part of him wanted to laugh at her stupidity. Didn't she know that he was dangerous?
But, another part of him felt glad that she wasn't afraid of him. Did that mean that she had seen past all of what he was on the outside? That she had seen past his horrifying appearance…?
"Sera…" he breathed out. But still, he could not linger…! He might kill her too! With all of the willpower that he could muster in his delicate and fragile situation, he pulled away poignantly.
Their eyes met and he froze. He had never seen anyone who was so beautiful in his whole life. And if he didn't leave soon, she'd be no more. She'd be another one of his victims. He didn't want that for her.
Ever.
Sera would never let him go! Never again! She knew it now…and he knew it as well…But she could see the doubt swimming in his eyes.
"Sera no!" he told her, pulling away sharply.
She followed him on the floor and crawled over to him. "No Heat! Stay…!"
"Are you fucking out of your mind!?" he thundered.
"I'm here to help you! Please let me help!" she openly pleaded, holding his hand. He hissed and pulled his hand back as if he had been burned and glowered at her still, "How can you help me?! Huh!?" he bellowed, "Your fucking song didn't work! How else can you help me…!?" he yelled in desperation.
A tear from her eye escaped as she considered his question.
But there was a way…
There was always a way…
She knew what it was that was plaguing his body…It was screaming…And it just happened that she had heard it…
She took a deep breath and braved a step closer to him. She closed all distance between them and again had him in her arms, "I'll help you in any and every way that I can Heat…"
He growled but said nothing, wanting nothing more than to take her offer…If only there was a way…
"I heard you Heat…I heard your body calling out to mine…I know what you hunger for…"
His heart stopped. So she knew…? She knew that it wasn't merely blood and flesh that he craved…? But if she knew, then how was it that he himself didn't?
Yes.
He himself did not fully comprehend his own feelings…So, how was it that a woman such as she could fully fathom what it was that continued to elude him so?
She cupped his face in her hands and persuasively tugged at him. He followed and soon their eyes met and she leaned in, whispering, "I know Heat…I know…"
And without further words, she closed all distance in between them as she kissed him. Heat's heart skipped a beat and hot blood flowed within him without restraint…without control…
The feel of her lips against his was…
It was as if he had feasted on hundreds of ashuras…It was…unexplainable…It was incredible. But that wasn't the most important thing. The most important thing was that his body, the monster within him, the murderer within him was responding…
It was as if telling him that this kiss, this contact, with her…was the one thing that he had needed to begin with…
Soon, he relaxed in her arms and closed his eyes, relishing in the curious feeling…A moment later, he could feel his hot blood pumping furiously within him, telling him, urging him…no!-commanding him to take charge.
He complied; giving into his desires.
His hands came up to caress her face and there he pried her lips apart. She granted him the entry that he sought and he ventured within…
She was willing…and he was glad. She wouldn't deny him of what he wanted…of what he needed…Yes. That was what she had told him…
And now, he understood as well…
It was her…
His body…his monster…the murderer within him screamed and yelled and fought…for her… They all wanted her. All aspects of him had wanted her and only her. She was the only thing that he needed…
He slanted his face closer to hers as he deepened the kiss still…and again, she did not object. He could feel his happiness beginning to climb as the moments passed…
Soon, Heat could feel himself completely held captive by his instincts…by his desires…by his needs.
Gently, he laid her on the floor and situated himself in between her parted legs and bent knees. His lips left hers and their eyes, once more, met.
"Sera…"
"Heat…" she breathed out, smiling as she caressed his cheek, "This is what you need…I am what you need…"
He blinked, "H-how did…you know?"
Her smile widened still and she chuckled, "I told you…I heard you…Oh Heat…I told you before, don't hide from me. Ever."
"I'm sorry…" he told her as he cast his face down.
"Don't be…" she whispered, "Heat…Make love to me…" she spoke gently, her silver eyes peering into his.
At her words, his control snapped.
He kissed her again.
His inflamed hands traveled all over her uniform slowly undoing its straps and buttons, wanting to discover what lay beneath her modest ensemble…
Sera let him do as he pleased; her own body increasing in temperature as his heated hands touched her bare flesh lightly, igniting it.
She whimpered as his hungry lips found her neck, and his teeth sinking into her skin. Whimpering or no, she held the man close to her, her arms around his neck…
A moment later, the two were completely bare. Sera marveled over his features the way he did over hers…
She moaned his name over and over as he bestowed upon her sensations of the flesh that she had never thus far thought possible.
Lust. Love…
Hunger…
It was all that they could comprehend…
This undeniable hunger…
The unquenchable thirst…
The inexhaustible flames of passion that burned within their fiery bodies…That was all that they could fathom. That was all that made sense…The wild rush of frenzy…to consummate…to complete…to devour…
She could feel his restlessness building up from within. And even more apparent, she could feel his hesitance…
He was afraid…wasn't he?
She stopped and pushed him away, so that their eyes may meet.
"Heat? What's wrong…?" she asked genuinely, noting her lover's hesitance.
He shook his head while he closed his eyes. He opened them a moment later, "I don't want to hurt you…"
She smiled reassuringly at him, "You won't hurt me Heat…This is what we're supposed to do…This is our night…This is our chance. Please Heat," she pleaded softly as she caressed his cheek affectionately, "this is what you need…this is what I need…This is the only way…" she finished in a charming yet seductive whisper.
"This is our only way…"
Heat knew what she meant.
This was what they both needed…and wanted…This was what they wanted to do. This was what their instincts had been hinting relentlessly at them, much to their prior foolish bemusement.
But bemusement was no longer present…
There was only clarity.
And with it was intensity…and heat.
This was the only way to quell his rage…to contain his monster…to soothe the murderer in him…
She was the key…And she had no qualms about it. Even now, as she lay completely bare, naked and vulnerable beneath him, she made no attempts of escape…
It was because she had laid down her arms for him…She was offering herself to him…And he knew why. He could feel it.
She loved him.
She didn't need to say it either…He could feel her love flowing along his skin…And what was more important was that her love was accompanied by everlasting trust. She had seen what a monster he was…and yet she had remained in an attempt to tame the savage beast that was him…
He smiled at that…
"Sera…"
"Heat…make love to me…" she softly commanded once more.
Now, he was all the more obliged…He would not deny her of that…He would never deny her of anything that she wanted…
He owed her a lot. He owed her his sanity.
A moment later, the two lovers had unified their bodies…Heat groaned and moaned uncontrollably as passion eroded his persona, engulfing his sense of logic…rendering all rational thought powerless.
And then…pure light…nothing but serenity and tranquility was felt. There was no war, no battles…no ashuras…and most importantly, there was no hunger…
The monster within him, the murderer within him had been vanquished.
They screamed each other's names as they walked hand in hand in paradise…in nirvana.
Heat closed his eyes, completely exhausted, nuzzling his face against Sera's bare chest. At that moment, he felt her arms encircle him, encasing him in pure warmth.
"Sera…" he breathed out.
"Hm?"
"Thank you…"
A moment later, he fell asleep.
"You're welcome Heat…"
No words were necessary between them. For them, the only thing that they needed was to feel…
And they did feel.
They were both guided by that elusive and nameless sensation.
Sera closed her eyes with a smile.
No. It wasn't elusive any longer. She had found it…with Heat. And no, it wasn't nameless any longer.
She may not remember a lot of things…but she now remembered this nameless thing…this elusive sensation…
With Heat, she was able to remember it…
It was…
'It was love…'
"I love you Heat…"
xxxxx
FIN