Author's Note: This take place following season three's "The Woman of Qumar." Reviews are always appreciated! I still don't own any rights to these characters.

"The Option"

Josh entered CJ's office nervously. He wasn't sure how to approach the conversation he was about to have. He was conflicted and unsure about how things were going to go. Josh wasn't accustomed to having these feelings and he didn't like them. He was usually confident and knew what to expect, but right now he was confused. He knew that CJ seemed to be having a difficult day, for whatever reason, but he really felt they needed to talk. He bit his lower lip, summoned his courage and walked into CJ's office.

It was late and Carol had long since gone home. In fact, Josh had even let Donna leave for the night. It was a fairly safe bet that he and CJ were the only two in their wing of offices.

"Hey," Josh said, leaning against the doorway.

"Hey," CJ said looking up from a pile of papers. She was wearing her glasses, which, if Josh was honest, he'd always found to be a turn-on. He was fairly certain it stemmed from his fantasy of the naughty librarian telling him to be quiet.

"It's late," Josh commented entering the office.

"Yeah," CJ agreed.

Josh said nothing, instead he sat down in her guest chair and propped his feet up on her desk.

"Make yourself comfortable," CJ said sardonically.

"Don't mind if I do," Josh grinned.

"Can I help you?" CJ asked abruptly.

Josh didn't say anything for a moment. He was taking a moment to decide how to go about broaching the subject when it occurred to him that CJ was still upset.

"Hey, are you okay today?" he asked.

CJ paused for a moment and looked at him. "I'm fine."

"It doesn't really seem like it," Josh said.

"Yeah, well…" CJ sighed.

"Is this about Qumar?"

"Whatever would give you that idea?" CJ replied in a tone that indicated that it was clearly part of the problem.

"I heard about what happened with Nancy today."

CJ remained silent. "Yelling at the National Security Advisor in the middle of the hallway was probably not the best idea."

"Thanks for sharing that tidbit with me Josh," CJ replied snippily.

"I'm just saying…"

"I know what you're saying."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm not really sure about anything right now," CJ said honestly.

"Okay," Josh said. He stayed silent for a moment before saying, "Can I do anything?"

"Can you unilaterally pull all support we give the Qumari government and governments like it?" she asked.

"No," Josh sighed.

"Then no."

"CJ, it's not…I know it seems bad, but there are a lot of governments out there that are a lot worse than Qumar."

"Josh, if the women went Amazon and started beating in the men in a very public, very degrading forum we wouldn't be having this discussion."

"I don't think that's necessarily true."

"That makes one of us."

"You can't take this so personally," Josh commented.

CJ was silent for a moment before she said, "You know you're right. I should be happy that all the men I work with, all the men in my life, think I'm the hysterical woman, blowing this issue out of proportion. What's a few public beatings between friends right?"

Josh was taken aback. "I'm sorry you're upset about this," he finally said.

"I'm sorry you're not," CJ replied seriously.

"Did something happen today? Something more than the Qumar thing, I mean."

"The Qumar thing," CJ said using air quotes with her fingers around Qumar thing, "wasn't enough?"

"You just seem unusually pissed," Josh pointed out. "If you need to talk--"

"Don't handle me Josh," CJ said interrupting him. "Toby has been doing it all day and I don't need it from you too."

"I'm not handling you," Josh retorted. "I'm trying to figure out why you've decided to adopt this as your fight."

"The Qumar thing, as you so thoughtfully put it, isn't important, is that what you mean?"

"No, it's not what I mean. Of course it's important. I just don't get where the passive aggression is coming from today."

"Of course you wouldn't," CJ sighed leaning back in her chair.

"What does that mean?" Josh asked.

"It means that there are days when it's exceedingly difficult to be the only girl allowed in the boy's clubhouse Josh. Today is one of those days."

Josh thought about that for a minute. "You're a valued member of the inner circle CJ."

"Sure I am," she replied. "On the days when we're not dealing with touchy women's issues. Do you know how Toby broke the Qumar news to me? I was in a staff meeting. We were in a room of fifteen people and he folded it in like it was no big deal. If anyone had wanted my actual opinion on Qumar, it wouldn't have been dropped on me like that."

"It wasn't a big deal," Josh said. "We weren't making a big deal about announcing it."

"Because we're ashamed of it Josh! I know it's hard for you to understand because your input is always considered, but lately I feel marginalized and not for nothing, but Qumar is only a small part of it."

"He listened to you on the beef briefing," Josh pointed out.

"Over the strong objections of Leo and Toby," CJ pointed out. She paused a moment before adding, "Thanks for sort of backing me in there by the way."

"You're the one dealing with the press everyday. I figure you've got a better handle on what will turn into a thing."

CJ sighed then changing the subject she said, "So what did you need?"

"Nothing, really," Josh shrugged.

"You obviously came by for a reason," CJ pointed out.

"It's not important," Josh dismissed her.

"Josh, I'm over Qumar okay? What's up?" CJ prodded him.

He waited a beat before forging ahead to his reason for stopping by. "Do you know Amy Gardner?"

"Amy Gardner?" CJ asked searching her memory. "Yeah, she works for one of the women's groups, right?"

"The WLC. Do you know her?"

"I know of her. I can't say I actually know a whole lot about her. Is she a problem?"

"No. I knew her in college. I had a meeting with her today and she's different."

"Different?"

"Yeah. I was…I'm really not even sure how to say this."

"Josh?" CJ asked looking a little concerned. She saw his face change when he started talking about Amy and CJ felt her stomach drop a little.

"She's intriguing," he said.

"Oh," CJ replied, unsure if she was happy that this wasn't another problem she'd have to clean up, or slightly jealous because of how Josh described her.

"She asked me if I was dating Donna. Or Joey."

"Really."

"I was kind of thinking about asking her out," he said tentatively.

"Amy Gardner?" CJ repeated as more of a question. Josh tried to decipher if there was a change in her tone of voice or her facial expression, but CJ remained surprisingly neutral.

"Yeah."

"And you wanted my opinion on the matter?" CJ asked quizzically.

"No," Josh said. "Well, sort of, I guess."

"I'm a little confused."

"Yeah, that makes two of us."

After a beat she asked, "Josh?"

Josh gathered his courage and decided the best way to approach the conversation was just to forge ahead. "I was thinking that Amy might be someone who I'd like to ask out, but then I thought I'd give you the option before I did that."

"Give me the option?" CJ asked.

"You know, in sports, if you're a free agent, but you're on a certain team, they can exercise their option to keep you or give you to another team."

"And in this situation I'm the team you're on?" CJ asked.

"Yeah."

"And you're the free agent," CJ said clearly trying to decipher Josh's meaning.

"Yeah," Josh replied. "It's just that lately we've been spending a lot of time together, so I thought that before I ask Amy out, I should…you know."

"Give me the option," CJ finished for him.

"Right."

"And the option is what? Us, dating?"

"I guess so," Josh said nervously. He had dreaded this conversation all day. As soon as he realized that he had wanted to ask Amy out on a date he began to have a feeling of overwhelming guilt, as if asking Amy out would be like cheating on CJ. They didn't have any sort of agreement, except that they were there for each other when they needed some affection, but recently they'd been seeing each other more often and neither was seeing anyone else, which blurred the line as to what their relationship was.

CJ was silent as she thought about what Josh was asking her. "Is that what you want?" she asked.

"Huh?"

"Do you want us to be…to date?"

"I'm asking if that's what you want," Josh explained.

"I know, but you must have an opinion."

"I honestly don't know," Josh said. "When this all started it was casual and we saw other people, but, lately it seems like it's just the two of us a lot more frequently and I know I haven't been on a date in a really long time."

"Me either," CJ replied as she leaned back in her chair again and looked at him. "It used to be like once in a blue moon, but lately our thing has seemed more frequent."

"Not that I'm complaining about it. I know I initiate things just as much as you," Josh was quick to pipe up. "I just feel like things are getting…"

"Confusing," CJ finished for him.

"Yeah."

Josh couldn't be sure, but he thought that CJ's eyes looked a bit glassier than they were a minute before, as if she might be tearing up a bit. He couldn't handle it if she cried, but he was fairly certain that CJ would never allow that to happen. He knew he must be imagining the way her eyes shimmered in the light. But, if the tears were real then Josh was extremely confused as what they meant.

CJ sat for a moment and tried to collect her thoughts and emotions. Josh was absolutely right. Things had begun to get confusing. They had been spending many nights together, many more than they had originally intended when their little arrangement started.

CJ tried to press the disappointment she was feeling deep down into her gut. She hoped that Josh wouldn't notice. Part of her wanted to tell him no. She didn't want him to ask out another woman because she felt like she had some claim on him.

Would it be so bad to exercise her option? She could almost see how easy it would be to be with Josh, really be with him, as an equal; lover, friend and co-worker. It would never be as easy as it seemed, but somehow she found herself wanting it, even if only for a moment. But, on the other hand, she knew realistically that they'd never really work as a couple because of work and possibly their personalities.

Finally CJ summoned her courage and said, "You should go out with Amy."

"I should?" Josh asked, surprised that her response was that quick and decisive.

"We're not together," CJ said. "You shouldn't feel like you have to ask me about this. Our thing is supposed to be casual and no strings."

Josh said nothing and CJ added, "I think we crossed the imaginary line and I don't want things between us to be how they were before."

"Before?"

CJ gave him a knowing look. "During the campaign," she reminded him.

Josh nodded as he recalled that there was serious confusion before, when their arrangement first started. It actually wasn't so much confusion. Josh was fairly certain of his feelings back then. He'd even put money on the fact that CJ had the same feelings, but timing was a fickle friend. Josh still felt the sting of it sometimes and he wondered if CJ did too. They never discussed it. It probably helped them stay friends and keep up their arrangement, but at the time Josh wasn't so sure the pain was worth it.

"Yeah," he agreed half-heartedly. "You and I together would be problematic."

"At best," CJ said. "You're technically my superior."

"More than technically," Josh smiled at her. He loved to pull rank on her in jest, even if it was true.

"We work together, closely, everyday," CJ added.

"Toby would have a coronary," Josh said.

"Leo would kill us both," CJ replied.

"Sam would be nervous around us," Josh said.

"Donna would…well it would be weird," CJ said, correcting herself mid-sentence. She could tell that Donna had a crush on Josh, but Josh was sometimes so oblivious that she honestly couldn't tell if he knew about it or not and she didn't want to be the one to let the cat out of the bag.

"Yeah, I think the window has closed for us," Josh agreed with a hint of regret in his voice. "So I should ask Amy out then?"

"Enjoy yourself," CJ said, forcing a smile. Their arrangement had started out as sex, but somewhere it grew into more and CJ wanted to kick herself for that. She swore she'd never let it happen again and yet, here she was.

"Okay," Josh said, standing up. He waited a minute before adding in jest, "Hey, when Amy turns me down, or, you know, implodes…"

"You know where to find me," CJ said quietly.

"Are you going to be okay?" Josh asked before leaving.

CJ wasn't sure if he was asking if she'd be okay at work or with him dating Amy Gardner. She thought it was the former, but if it was the latter she decided to lie to him, "I'll be fine."

Josh didn't seem like he knew whether he should stick around or leave the office. He eventually decided to go.

"Have fun," CJ called, hoping he wouldn't turn around and see how it killed her to say it.

Josh didn't turn around. Instead he walked back to his office, set in his resolve to ask Amy out on a date. Though he couldn't help but feel a hint of regret because if he admitted it to himself, somewhere deep down, there was a part of him that preferred to be with CJ.

TBC