Author's Note: This chapter takes place between season three's Enemies, Foreign and Domestic and The Black Vera Wang. Reviews are appreciated and have a very happy and healthy 2010.

"The Non-Apology Apology"

Josh walked over to CJ's office and was met by a tall, imposing Secret Service agent. Her door was shut and Josh almost thought twice about going in, but ultimately decided it would be better to get it over with now rather than later.

"Hey Carol," Josh said to CJ's assistant.

"Hi Josh," Carol replied, smiling at him.

"Is she in?" he asked.

"Toby's in there right now," she replied. "You can probably go in though."

Josh noticed that the Secret Service agent gave him the up-down and it made Josh feel a little nervous. The president had been surrounded by agents since he knew him, but somehow, an agent guarding CJ's door made him feel slightly off his game.

Josh knocked on the door timidly. "Come in," he heard CJ call.

Josh opened the door slowly and he was almost happy to see Toby sitting in the guest chair. Toby's presence meant that CJ couldn't be too mad, but he was a little disheartened to see that CJ was sitting in her chair, facing the window, not looking at Toby.

Josh gave Toby a quizzical look, which Toby shook his head at. Josh didn't know if that meant, don't ask, or if he didn't understand what was going on either.

"Sam and I are meeting in the Roosevelt Room if you want to join us," Toby said standing up.

"Sure," CJ said turning in her chair to face them. "I'll have to check with my chaperone outside. The Roosevelt Room is kind of far for a girl to wander."

"Okay, well," Toby said shrugging as he looked at Josh. Under his breath he said, "Good luck." Toby walked out of the room and shut the door.

"So," Josh said, wondering how to gauge the situation. CJ had an attitude with him ever since he called the Secret Service to alert them to the threatening e-mail she had received. He hoped she was over it, but now that she was required to have Secret Service protection he wasn't so sure. Frankly Josh was happy that she had to be guarded. When he read the e-mail that she had blown off his stomach sank and he felt sick. Just knowing that someone was even thinking things like that about CJ made him angry and out of his mind.

"So," she said turning back to face the window.

"Come on CJ," he said taking a seat. "You can't be mad about this."

"Yes, I think I can Josh," she replied.

"Why exactly are you mad? Because I called the Secret Service? I've got news for you; you're not invincible. Someone over there needed to know."

"Says you," she said turning back to him and leaning her elbows on the desk.

"Yeah, says me."

"You didn't even think about discussing it with me first?" she asked.

"Excuse me?"

"Donna called you in here, you read the e-mail and all of sudden you're in charge of my life. You're getting Secret Service on the phone and making a big deal about nothing."

"You're damn right CJ. I can't imagine how you felt when you read that e-mail, but I know how I felt and it was sick and nervous and angry. I'm sorry you didn't have the same reaction, but there was something I could do about and I did."

"So I guess you're not here to apologize then."

"I'm not sorry," Josh said a bit indignantly.

"That's pretty obvious."

"Are you honestly that naïve? Your life was threatened. I'm not going to take that lightly. I don't understand how you can."

"I wasn't taking it lightly! It just wasn't a big deal and now it's this huge thing," she said.

"It should be a huge thing. Someone threatened your life," Josh said, his voice getting higher and louder. "Do I need to remind you what happened the last time someone's life was threatened in this administration?"

CJ was quiet for a moment before she realized that when Charlie's life was threatened, Josh was the one who paid the price with a bullet to the chest.

"The president told me the same thing this morning," she said finally. "I don't…I didn't think it would escalate to that level."

"You didn't?" Josh asked, picking up on the way she changed tenses.

"The president called me to the Oval and I got to look at a bunch of really creepy pictures of myself today."

"What?" Josh asked, swallowing hard.

CJ bit her lower lip. She was afraid to really even articulate it. She had told Toby about in a round about sort of way, but telling Josh just seemed infinitely harder. "Apparently," she said swallowing thickly, "this guy has been following me. He took some pictures and Ron got them and…"

"CJ?" Josh prompted her.

"They were pictures of me at my place and on my way to work. This guy couldn't have been more than twenty feet from me Josh and seeing it just laid out on a coffee table like that..."

"You've got protection 24/7?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Good," Josh said.

"Just great," CJ said with an attitude.

"How can you be like this?"

"Like what?"

"You've got a chip on your shoulder about the protection. Someone is after you CJ. He's threatening you and now it sounds like he's hunting you. How can you not want protection?"

"Because I'm not a damsel in distress Josh," CJ said a little indignantly. "I can take care of myself and now I've got a shadow following me and telling me what I can and can't do all day every day. And let's not forget how it's going to look when I'm in the press room. I need to two fingers to count how many female press secretaries there have been and now I'm the one that was so feeble she needed protection."

Josh took in her outrage for a moment and he honestly didn't care. "CJ," he started, "no one gives a damn if you've got an agent on you. It doesn't undermine your integrity and no one thinks less of you. If I'd have gotten the e-mail or Toby or Sam or Leo, we'd have gotten protection the minute it happened too. We all know you can take care of yourself, but you can't protect yourself from the lunatic who's hell-bent on getting to you."

"I know that," CJ replied. "I know."

"Then why are you pissed at me?"

"Because I have to be pissed at someone and right now you're the guy okay? You're the guy who took my choices away from me. You're the guy who told Ron, who got the pictures, who showed them to the president and basically scared the living hell out of me. Maybe I was being cavalier about the e-mail, but seeing those pictures was terrifying and now in addition to losing control of my life and privacy, I have to wonder who's watching me every minute I'm not in this building."

"I know you're scared," Josh said. "I know that the e-mail and the pictures had to be terrifying, but CJ we're not going to let anything happen to you. It's why I called the Secret Service. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Not on my watch. You're going to have to be a big girl and deal with it and I promise you that I'll be here if you need me."

CJ chucked lightly and Josh looked at her quizzically. Her reaction wasn't what he was expecting.

"What?" he asked.

"I think you just gave me the non-apology apology," CJ replied.

Josh thought about what he'd said to CJ. He smirked. "Maybe," he conceded. "I think you do it better though."

"Of course I do," CJ laughed.

Josh gave her a fake frown and leaned forward in the chair, resting his elbows on his knees. "Seriously though," he said. "If you need anything…"

"I should call you and not rely on the armed guard outside my door?" CJ asked sarcastically.

"Exactly," Josh affirmed.

"You really can be very sweet sometimes."

"Yeah," he replied standing, "don't let that get around."

"Your secret is safe with me," CJ promised.

"You'll be fine," Josh said, more to reassure himself than to reassure CJ.

"Yeah."

"You've got agents now."

"I'm that special," CJ said trying to make a joke.

"You are," Josh said seriously. "They're going to get this guy. They're going to get him and when they do we're all hoping they'll let us into a room with him before the law deals with him."

"Now you sound like Rob Ritchie," CJ teased him.

"He's an idiot, but not all of his ideas are bad."

"Vigilantism…I'm ashamed to admit I kind of like it in this case and your case and the president's."

"Yeah, well…you're meeting with Toby and Sam?" he asked.

"Bruno has them working on something," CJ shrugged as she stood up.

Instead of walking to the door as CJ thought he would, Josh walked toward her desk and pulled her into a tight hug, which she returned with a deep breath from the depths of her fear.

"You're gonna be just fine," Josh said.

"Yeah."

Josh pulled back. "Okay," he said.

"I've got to get to that meeting," CJ said.

"Yeah. We're good right?"

"We're good," CJ nodded.

"Okay then."

CJ smiled at him before she opened her office door. Josh watched as the tall agent trailed behind her like a lost puppy. He would have laughed at the sight, if it didn't also terrify him. Josh made a mental note to get Stanley on the phone soon. Although the threat had nothing to do with him, he felt like he might need to talk about it with someone who would understand why his heart raced and his hands felt clammy when he heard more about the man following CJ.

TBC