A/N so this was inspired by two people: my sister and my mom. My sister and I were playing Lord of the Rings Online and she had a moment of pure brilliance that will be showcased by Emmett. Then my mom and I were talking about it and she provided Emmett's idiotic line. Basically the Cullens and Jake are playing LOTRO and they're having a contest to see who can pick off the rest of the family (they hacked the system, so they can kill each other) I do not own Twilight or LOTRO. Enjoy!
Kicking Butt and Taking Names
"Ha! Bella, I killed you! Take THAT!"
"Emmett, we aren't supposed to know who everyone else is. You just gave away who you were."
"Oh. Oh, right. Oops."
Bella sighed as her Human Guardian character—conveniently named Bella—appeared in the regenerating circle along with the Hobbit Rune-Keeper (Renesmee), the Elf Lore Master (Rosalie), the Human Champion (Jacob), and the Elf Hunter (Alice). Emmett smirked at her from across the room. Suddenly his face broke out in a grin that would terrify anyone who didn't know that he was harmless. "Oh, my next victim!"
Jasper, who had been the one to cross Emmett's path, readied his lyre. However, the Human Champion portrayed by Emmett turned and attacked a nearby Midgewater Marsh Sapper. It was no contest—the Sapper was a low level. What Emmett forgot was that Sappers spontaneously combusted when they died. Made ignorant by his victory, the vampire failed to notice that while he looted his spoils, he walked straight into the flames.
"Uh, Emmett," Jasper snickered, "You know you're on fire."
Emmett leaped up from behind his laptop. "YEAH! I'M ON FIRE! I'M—oh, wait, I'm really on fire. Oops." He took off running for the nearest pond when, out of nowhere, a raven swooped out of nowhere as a gust of wind took out almost half his hitpoints. Just as Emmett yelled, "What the—"The raven pecked at him until he was defeated.
Everyone in the circle gaped when Emmett appeared, even more so when Jasper followed right behind.
Bella snickered, "Who got both of you? Whoever did it, I want to send them some flowers."
Emmett growled at her.
Just then, a Dwarf Hunter sprinted past the circle, closely followed by a Human Guardian. The Guardian caught the Dwarf and, with one swift stroke, defeated it.
Then the same raven swooped out of the sky, pecking mercilessly at the Guardian (Edward). Just as Edward took a swipe at the bird, an Elf Lore Master ran up and bonked him over the head with her staff, effectively knocking him out. The Lore Master then proceeded to set Edward on fire. He was defeated a few seconds later.
"Well, guess that's it," Jacob sighed.
"Who was the winner, though?" Bella puzzled.
"Well, we know it was a Lore Master," Carlisle reasoned.
Edward and Alice both repressed snickers.
Bella cocked an eyebrow at her daughter. "Nessie? Was it you?"
Renesmee looked baffled. "No way, I died first thing!" her eyebrows furrowed, then she added, "I was actually a victim of the mystery murderer."
Alice started bouncing in her seat, "Tell them! Tell them!"
Esme, sweet, harmless Esme, curled up in an armchair, grinned at her family. "Sorry."
…
A/N so if you didn't figure it out already, Esme won . The Dwarf Hunter was Carlisle, hence why Esme didn't kill him. Sorry if it was really bad—or stupid—but I had to write it. Review! Click the magic button!
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