Hi lovely readers!
Thank you all so much for the review on the last chapter. I loved writing that one so much!
So this is something I've never done before. I didn't have any prompt requests so decided to take a little break and then suddenly missed it and got the writing bug again. This idea just came to me and I had to write it so I guess in a way this is me writing my own request!
This is the moment when Sheldon realises he's in love with Amy and finally tells her. Hope you all enjoy!
As Sheldon sat at the dinner table across from his family, he felt this funny feeling in his heart. Recognising emotions in others was never really his strong suit, he always struggled with knowing how someone was feeling, never knowing if it was something he had done or said or something completely removed from him. Yet recognising emotions in himself had never stumped him like this before, it was a heavy feeling in his heart and although he wasn't sad, he also couldn't say he felt happy either.
"Would you like more salad darlin'?" he was snapped from his thoughts and looked up to see his mother handing him the wooden bowl of salad. He wondered how old that salad bowl was, it was always the centre piece of their family dinners, even when he was a child.
"Sure, thank you" he took the bowl from her and served himself using the wooden salad spoons that matched the bowl. It was only when he looked down at his plate that he realised he hadn't eaten much, just nibbled and picked at what was there. He didn't know why.
Sheldon loved returning home to Texas, he realised that no matter how old he became as soon as he set foot through the front door, he suddenly became a child again, Mary's little boy. If he was being honest, he was quite happy to allow that to happen, who didn't enjoy being around family and being fussed over? Yet for some reason this trip felt different and he couldn't quite put his finger on why.
Maybe it was the stark reminder of how little he actually visited home. He was aware that he didn't visit nowhere near as much as he should but it had taken his sister having a child to really hammer home that thought. His nephew, who he held when he was just hours, possibly even minutes old was now a real little human. At eight months old he could do so much, he could smile and laugh, he could sit up and was just starting to crawl and quite similarly to his mother he could talk non stop or rather incoherently babble. Sheldon never thought he would care so much about being an uncle let alone feel a strong sense of fondness towards a child but little Noah had really pulled at his heart strings and it saddened him to know just how much he had missed.
"So Sheldon" he looked up to see the blonde opposite him address him. Her name had somehow slipped his mind. Cassie or Casey maybe, he couldn't quite remember. He often didn't see the point in remembering as Georgie's girlfriends never seemed to last long. Yet he found himself quite liking this one, there was something about her that reminded him of Penny, there was an ease when taking to her that Sheldon rarely experienced around people. "Mary was telling me about your girlfriend back home. It would have been lovely to meet her" she smiled.
"Oh, I've been telling him for a long time to bring that lovely lady of his over. You know she'd be welcome anytime" Mary flashed him her warm smile. He was grateful Amy and Mary got along, Mary really couldn't have loved Amy more if she tried, the fact that her son had found someone to love him just as much as she did meant a great deal to her. It was hard for any parent to have a child that lived so far way, almost at the other end of the country but knowing that he now had someone to take care of him was a great comfort to her. "I know this time it's different what with her work thing" Mary waved her hand, Amy's career was just as confusing to her as Sheldon's was. "But next time. Please bring her next time."
Sheldon nodded his head, keeping his head down so his mother didn't read his expression. The truth was he had lied, there was no 'Amy's work thing', it was simply to cover the fact that he hadn't actually asked her. Were they even at that stage of their relationship? Sure, Mary had met Amy countless times on her trips to Pasadena but inviting Amy to Texas, to spend time with his family in his family home, it seemed like a huge step that he wasn't sure he was ready for. Would Amy have wanted to come? Had she been waiting for that very question?
"Oh what does she do?" Cassie or Casey asked, seeming intrigued as she leaned forward. He doubted Georgie even knew, let alone had taken the time to fill her in.
"She's a neuroscientist" his eyes instantly lit up and not one single person in the room missed how his mood suddenly seemed to lift and he suddenly came to life. His blue eyes sparkled and his smile grew wider each time he mentioned Amy's name. He couldn't be prouder of her and as he filled everyone in on her work, research and achievements he made sure everyone knew it.
—
The evening was drawing in, the sky illuminated with oranges and yellows as the sun began to set. It was a beautiful scene and one Sheldon was unsure he'd ever fully appreciated. He was sat on the decking with Missy whilst her husband Will and Georgie kicked a football around the garden like a pair of teenagers. Mary remained indoors, washing the dishes and tidying up, despite many people offering to help she had ushered them all outdoors and told them to enjoy their evening. Although Sheldon felt guilty leaving all the hard work to his mother, he appreciated the quality time with his sister. It was quite a rarity these days.
Sheldon's hand gently rubbed up and down the baby's back as he lay flush against his chest. It had surprised everyone and nobody more so than Sheldon when Noah held out his chubby little arms in his uncles direction and whimpered until he was being held by him. Considering the pair had only ever really interacted over FaceTime and Skype calls, he had unknowingly seemed to have made quite an impression on his nephew.
"You seem to have the magic touch" Missy smiled as she reached across and gently stroked her little boys cheek. It was a sight that melted her heart. Noah's cheek was pressed against Sheldon's chest, his lips squished and his eyes closed as he slept. Every so often his eyelashes fluttered and he would let out a heavy sigh. She never thought she'd see the day that her brother would be cuddling a baby. "Thank you. He's not been sleeping much recently, it's been hard," she gave him a small smile.
"I will come and visit more often" he felt the need to voice this, although he wasn't sure how much help he could and would be, he needed to be around more.
"With Amy?" she asked hopefully. She had only met her over FaceTime a handful of times but she already adored her because of the affect she had on her brother. Anyone with eyes could see what she was doing to him.
"Sure"
Silence fell over them for a few moments. Sheldon rocked back and forth in the old, rickety wooden chair, scared to make any movement at all in case he woke Noah. Missy just revelled in the silence, closing her eyes and taking in this moment, silence and peace were quite the novelty right now.
When she heard Noah start to shuffle, she cracked an eye open and saw that Sheldon seemed to have the situation under control. With one hand on his back he began to gently shush and soothe the little one back to sleep. Missy smiled to herself, she was sure Sheldon had behaved like that because no one was watching and even though she didn't want to draw attention to the tender moment she had just witnessed, she had to ask the question that was on the tip of her tongue.
"Do you think you'll have one one day?" she asked, her eyes glancing down at Noah. She saw her brother swallowing hard. Did he see children in his future? He knew that he and Amy would have the most remarkably gifted children but is that really what he wanted? He and Amy hadn't even spoken about children, they hadn't even yet engaged in the physical act that would allow the conception of a child.
"I don't know" he shrugged. "Maybe"
That maybe seemed to shock Missy to the core, maybe meant that he was at least considering it. She was expecting a straight up no, a lecture about what a preposterous idea it was to have children. But a maybe, that was a step in the right direction and she had a feeling a certain Amy was down to his change of heart.
"You know, he reminds me so much of you" Missy decided to leave the questioning of her brothers future there, feeling as though that with just a few simple words she had already got more than enough out of him.
It hadn't been lost on Sheldon just how much Noah looked like him. Aside from the light dusting of blonde hair that he had inherited from his father, Noah was his mothers double which subsequently meant he looked a lot like him.
"He's so into everything and he gets this little twinkle in his eyes and when he figures something out just like you do" she reached across and affectionately rubbed her little boys back, before gently playing with his fingers. "I hope he's clever like you"
Sheldon had never really thought about what his hopes were for his nephew but it gave him another funny feeling in chest when Missy spoke about how similar the two of them were. He loved the idea of having a little person that he could influence and shape and introduce to the world of physics. There and then he decided that he was going to be the best role model he could be for little Noah.
"I hope so too" Sheldon agreed.
—
It was creeping closer to midnight and Mary had been woken by a voice and a rather bright light coming from the back garden that her bedroom looked out on to. For a moment she listened carefully before realising there was no need to panic as she instantly recognised that the voice belonged to her son. Nobody seemed to be responding to him and after probably much longer than her sleepy brain would like to admit, she finally twigged on that he must be on the phone, making a call. Smiling to herself she knew that one of the only people in the world that could make her son abandon his strict bedtime schedule and throw him off his routine was Amy. When she was sure the line had gone silent and Sheldon had hung up, she grabbed her dressing gown and headed down stairs.
She saw him through the kitchen window, sat out on the decking in the exact same spot where she had watched him hold Noah earlier on today. Watching the two of them together from a distance had melted her heart to mush, he really was a changed man for the better and again she only had one person to thank for that. Amy.
"Hi, darlin'. What are you doing up at this hour?" she stepped outside and immediately pulled her dressing gown tighter round her body when a breeze blew. For a moment Sheldon looked startled by the voice but relaxed immediately when he saw it was just his mother.
"Sorry, Amy called" he apologised holding up his phone. "Missy said earlier she was having problems with Noah sleeping, I didn't want to wake either of them so came out here. Sorry if I woke you" he explained rather quickly.
Mary waved her hand in the air, dismissing his apology. She moved across the decking before sitting down in the chair next to him. There was something about this evening, the dark sky and the cool breeze, the quietness around just the two of them. Sheldon's time in Texas had been so busy with seeing other family members that she hadn't really spent that much one on one time with her boy.
"That's okay darlin'. I was awake anyway," she lied not wanting to make her son feel bad. "How is Amy?" she asked.
"She's okay" he nodded. "She thinks she might be coming down with something" Mary could hear the worry and concern in his voice, normally the notion of something like this would turn Sheldon off immediately but Amy was different. Amy had his heart.
"Oh no, poor thing. Probably working herself silly"
"Yeah something like that" Sheldon nodded. Mary could tell he was distracted, his thoughts taken up, consumed by Amy, not feeling great all the way back in California.
"You really care about her, don't you?" Mary asked gently, turning her chair slightly so she was facing her son.
"I guess I'm very fond of her" he found himself admitting rather quickly. There was no denying he cared for Amy and that over the years, their friendship and relationship had developed to lengths that even surprised him.
"Oh don't be silly" Mary scoffed. "I think it's more than just being fond of her" Sheldon looked completely perplexed, what on earth did his mother mean by more than just being fond of her. "Darlin' you're in love" she smiled as she watched her sons eyes grow wide in a frantic panic.
"Absolutely not" he shook his head. "I'm not in love" he was defensive and far too quick that it was doing nothing to change Mary's mind. "I've just had this funny feeling in my chest for the last few days, I'm not sure what it could be, I considered that it was a heart problem but I have been tracking my heart rate and monitoring my blood pressure but that seems fine." he explained. "I think that's all you're getting confused with."
Mary smiled. She would never completely understand what kind of things went on in her sons mind but it didn't stop her from trying. When Sheldon was younger she often wondered about what his future would be like, even though he had this super gift of intelligence, he was the child she worried about the most. The one that gave her sleepless nights. She wondered if he'd ever find anyone that truly understood him, that loved him unconditionally for exactly who he was, someone that he could build a life with, settle down with and maybe one day start a family with. In her opinion, Amy was just that and she couldn't have been more thrilled.
"There's no heart problem. You're not fooling anyone with that" she laughed gently. "That feeling in your chest is love. It's missing Amy so much that it hurts"
Sheldon hadn't even considered that the emotion that had been weighing so heavy on his chest these past couple of days was because he simply missed someone. He had missed people before, his mother for example when he first moved away but that didn't feel like this. In fact nothing he had ever experienced before felt like this. Maybe, just maybe his mother was right. Talking to Amy had eased that feeling, talking about Amy made him feel lighter but nothing made him feel completely better. Maybe that wouldn't happen until he actually laid eyes on Amy.
"I guess. I have missed her company, yes"
Suddenly, like a tidal wave hitting the shore, everything that he had missed about Amy hit him, hard. Although, they were never very physical, he missed holding her, hugging her upon greeting her or saying goodbye, he liked how tall he felt against her tiny frame, in a way maybe it felt like he was protecting her. He hadn't thought about that until now but he really did want to protect and keep her safe for as long as she would let him. He missed the scent of her hair or more so the green apple shampoo she used. He missed the comfortable silences that would sometimes fill the car on the way to work, he missed how she sometimes insisted on singing along to the radio despite his protests. More than anything he just missed her, her presence, knowing that she was there, knowing that if he felt down or sad, happy or excited or even if he needed to be put in his place, she was there. She was always there for him. He never once doubted that and it was only now that he realised how much all of that meant to him. He had missed her so much.
"Oh it's way more than that. I'm your mother, I know just from taking one look at you that you're in love. You're a changed man Sheldon. In the best possible way and I have no doubt it's because of Amy." Why did his mother have to be so good at reading him, it wasn't that he was keeping anything from her, it's just that he himself didn't know it yet. Maybe, without realising he had fallen head over heels in love with Amy. The thought absolutely terrified him. He felt his mother move closer to him, squeezing his hand to gain his attention. "Open up to her Sheldon, let her in, she's a very special lady. Don't lose that by not admitting how you feel."
Don't lose that. Those words played over and over in his head. He swore he heard them a thousand times in the space of a few seconds. Don't lose that. Losing Amy, that very thought made it feel like someone had ripped his heart from his chest and was currently stomping on it right in front of his eyes. A life without Amy made him want to cry, he didn't want to ever have to face life without her, he never wanted to wake up and know that she wasn't his. And then suddenly, there it was. In that very moment, in his mothers back yard in his childhood home, at 12.38am, Sheldon Cooper realised that for the very first time in his life he had fallen in love.
—
The flight home to Pasadena had proven to be some valuable reflection for Sheldon. Never really one to be all that reflective, he figured that this was a time that warranted such a thing. He'd never been in love, he never thought he'd ever love someone like he loved Amy and that was a lot to process.
He couldn't wait to arrive back home. Even though, this time round he really had loved spending time with his family, he now had more important things to attend to. He couldn't wait to see Amy, he had missed her more than he ever thought possible. He also couldn't wait to tell her that he loved her, the thought alone was exciting and daunting in equal measure. What if they weren't quite ready for that jump in their relationship? What if she didn't feel the same way?
Quickly he rid himself of those thoughts. Amy loved him, he knew that. Although, just like him, she was yet to say it, she had always been the one in their relationship that wanted to take the next step. However, despite her eagerness for their relationship to progress, never did she make him feel pressured, never did she mock him for moving so slowly. She was utterly perfect and allowed him time to progress at his own pace, never making him feel anything but love and he guessed in a way that was why he loved her so much.
He was so excited for their future. Right now he had no idea what that looked like but he was excited all the same because he knew that without a shadow of a doubt Amy was going to be there throughout it all. He couldn't wait for his next trip back to Texas where he knew indefinitely that Amy would be joining him.
As soon as he landed, Sheldon knew the only place he needed to go was Amy's apartment. He hadn't even told Leonard that he was arriving home earlier than planned. In fact, he hadn't told anyone. As always he was extremely organised and arranged a taxi to pick him up from the airport before he had even left Texas. He had never known a journey to take so long but after a little later than expected he finally arrived at Amy's apartment.
Before he realised where his feet had carried him, he found himself in front of Amy's apartment door. He suddenly became aware of his heartbeat, thumping heavily in his chest, his palms were sweaty and he suddenly felt extremely nervous. He didn't have to do this, Amy didn't even know he was coming, he wondered if she was even awake. For a brief moment he contemplated turning around and going home, he could turn around right now and no one would ever know but then he remembered that on the other side of the door was his Amy and then suddenly everything seemed okay.
Balling his hand into a fist, he knocked three times on Amy's door and before he knew it, there she was. His Amy who he had missed so much. She was stood in her dressing gown, the garment wrapped tightly around her body, her long hair down and cascading down her shoulders however, her eyes were red rimmed and blotchy and it was only now that Sheldon remembered she was still sick. She was sick and he didn't want to run a mile. Instead, he wanted to look after her and nurse her back to health, another reminder than he was in love.
"Sheldon" a small smile played on her lips and yet her eyes held so much confusion. "What are you doing here? she asked, glancing at her watch. "It's past your bedtime and I'm sick" she knew Sheldon better than anyone, he had a strict bedtime schedule that it was now two hours past and he wouldn't be usually seen dead around sick people.
"Hello" he smiled back at her, just seeing her had filled that void that he had been feeling back in Texas, he felt complete. "I needed to see you" Amy stepped aside letting Sheldon into her apartment, she couldn't be sure but although happy to see her, he seemed nervous. "I need to tell you something and if I don't tell you now then…"
"Sheldon, are you okay?" she asked, he was suddenly aware that for the last few seconds he had been pacing back and forth.
"I'm okay" he told her quickly, nodding his head and taking hold of her hand. "Here, sit down, sit down" he led her to the couch, his hand still in hers.
"Should I be freaking out? Because I'm freaking out," she'd never known him to be like this before, his behaviour seemed so different, not necessarily bad but not necessarily Sheldon either. When she sneezed and Sheldon didn't run all the way home she knew something was wrong.
"You don't need to freak out" her eyes were on him, questioning him and he realised it was now or never. Taking a deep breath, he suddenly felt his heart thumping again, yet somehow feeling her hand in his managed to centre him. "I really missed you when I was away" Amy's eyes softened and he saw her smile. "I think it took that for me to realise…" he could do this, he had to do this, she was it, she was his future and his world and he had to let her know that. "I love you"
There was an audible gasp that came from Amy and for a split second Sheldon wondered if he had done the right thing. What if she didn't feel the same way after all? Had this all just been in his head? He saw her eyes begin to fill with tears and watched as her hand came up to her heart.
"You love me?" it almost came out as a whisper.
"I do" he nodded. "Being away from you made it all very clear," Amy was still trying to process this information, she never thought she'd hear these words leaving Sheldon's mouth. It was almost like a dream.
"You're sure?" she asked squeezing his hand. "You're not just saying it because you think I need to hear it"
"Nope. It's really true Amy. I love you" he watched unsure of what to do when he saw tears streaming down her cheek. This moment to some may not be a big deal, it may not be the most romantic setting but to Amy it was absolutely everything. Now she knew where Sheldon's head was at she too could say the little words that she had been desperate to say for years.
"I love you too, Sheldon"
Thank you so much for reading! As always, reviews are so welcome and appreciated. I'd love to read your thoughts on this one.
Stay safe
Lots of love