Author's Note: This takes place after season four's Evidence of Things Not Seen. It kind of runs in tandem with the previous chapter, Calls from 32,000 Feet. With Josh's PTSD I felt like he had two episodes in a row where stressful things happened and CJ was present for both of them. As always, reviews are encouraged and appreciated!

"Faith"

CJ looked through the peep hole and saw Josh standing outside her door. She unlocked the door and opened it.

"Josh?" she said.

"Hi," he replied. "I didn't wake you up did I?"

"No," she replied, ushering him inside her apartment. "I was just watching the cable networks' coverage of tonight. What's going on?"

"You poured me a drink," Josh said as he entered and removed his coat.

"What?" CJ asked puzzled as she shut the door behind him.

"Tonight, at the poker game, you poured me a drink and I didn't even thank you for it. I just took it."

"Okay," CJ said still trying to puzzle through what Josh was getting at. He seemed a little more frantic than usual, but she knew it was best to let him tell her what he was talking about rather than jumping to conclusions.

"I should have said something," Josh said as he paced a little back and forth. "It was nice of you and I just let it go by without acknowledging it."

"And you wanted to acknowledge it at one-thirty in the morning?"

"Yeah. No. I don't…"

"Josh," CJ said stopping his tangent. "It's okay. I was happy to pour you a drink."

"You were in the briefing room tonight," Josh said stopping in his tracks and looking at her in the eye.

"I was," CJ nodded.

"He shot at you in the briefing room," Josh stated seriously.

"Well, he wasn't shooting at me specifically, but I'm fine," CJ said taking a step towards him. "I'm here and I'm fine."

She knew that it was helpful if Josh was reassured of things when he was feeling panicky. Between the lock down and the malfunctioning light on Air Force One a week ago, CJ wondered if Josh was having a little bit of an episode even though he wasn't directly involved in either situation.

"You poured me a drink and I didn't say thank you," he said a little sadly.

"Well that's okay," CJ said reaching out and taking his hand, grounding him in reality instead of the what-if. "I'm still here and you can thank me next time."

"Yeah," he said squeezing her hand.

"You're very sweet sometimes you know that?" CJ asked him.

He stood there for a moment and bit his lower lip. "Can I…would it be okay if I stayed here?" he asked. "I just don't really want to be alone tonight."

"Of course it's okay," CJ replied. "Go get into bed and I'll grab you a water."

"Okay," Josh said letting go of her hand.

Josh had been unsure of going to CJ's and knocking on her door in the middle of the night, but he was compelled to. He had this unnerving need to tell her that he did appreciate her and valued her in his life. For the last two weeks she'd almost been in mortal danger and even though it didn't seem to bother her, it bothered Josh.

Once he found his way to the bedroom Josh removed his shirt and tie and tossed them on the chair in the corner of the room. He didn't have pajamas and he was grateful that the spring weather had brought a little warmth as stripped off his pants and tossed them on the pile of clothes. He got under the covers and took a minute to inhale the smell of CJ's pillow. Her pillowcases always smelled faintly of lavender and it calmed him.

"Here," CJ said handing him a bottle of water. She sat on the bed and drew back the covers getting into the bed.

Josh took a sip of water and put the cap back on the bottle. "Thanks," he said.

"So," CJ said as she got comfortable. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"About what?"

CJ turned her head, "Your sudden need to come over here at one in the morning to thank me for a drink."

"Not really," Josh replied. "I just didn't want to be alone tonight."

"Okay," CJ replied.

They settled into bed and soon CJ could hear Josh's steady breathing and she knew he was asleep. She found that she wasn't very tired. It might have been odd, but she almost felt like the adrenaline and disbelief of the night were still coursing through her system. Eventually she drifted off to sleep herself.

Josh knew he was dreaming. There was something very disconcerting about being unconscious enough to be dreaming, and yet conscious enough to know that everything happening wasn't real.

He was walking through the West Wing.

"Josh," Donna said. "He's really cute. You should hire him."

Josh continued walking and Donna followed along for a few steps. "Hire who?" he asked.

"The guy. Joe," Donna replied.

"Did you hear the shooting?" he asked. "Where are the agents?"

"So are you going to?" Donna asked.

"Going to what?" he asked, irritated.

"Hire Joe."

"I can't…don't you hear the shooting?" he asked.

"They're shooting at the briefing room," Donna said.

"But they're in there," Josh said.

"Who?"

"Tell them to come to the briefing room," Josh said before he left Donna in he hallway.

He started to jog and then he ran to the briefing room. He tried the doorknob, but it was locked. He slammed his shoulder against the door a few times before the door jam gave way and he gained entry.

The room was dark and it was quiet. He stepped gingerly into the room and then he saw Toby on the ground, his shirt soaked with blood.

"Toby," he cried as he ran to him and covered his wound with his hands. Josh had an eerie feeling that this exact movement had happened between them before, except it was Toby covering Josh's chest, Josh's wound, with his hands.

"We were tossing cards," Toby said softly.

"Toby, it's gonna be okay," Josh said.

"CJ," Toby said pointing. "She was by the window."

Josh followed Toby's hand and that's when he saw her, a dark lump on the floor of the briefing room, no movement, no sound.

"CJ?" Josh asked quietly in disbelief.

"She's hurt," Toby said. "I'll be okay. She's hurt."

Josh took Toby's words as directions and he left him to walk over to CJ. He bent down on his knees and he touched her shoulder to turn her over. Once she was on her back he cried out to her, "CJ wake up," he said.

There was no response. He tried to check for a pulse, but he couldn't tell if she had one based on the fact that his pulse was pounding so rapidly that he could hear it in his ears. "CJ," Josh said again. "Please don't. CJ wake up. Please wake up."

Josh shot up out of bed and continued to yell, "CJ please wake up!"

CJ awoke to the sound of him shouting and she put a hand on his shoulder gently.

"Josh," she said.

"Please wake up!"

"Josh," CJ said firmly squeezing his shoulder.

He turned and looked at her, his eyes wide and filled with terror. He looked confused and CJ could tell he was waking up and trying to figure out where he was and what had happened.

"Josh, you're okay," CJ said.

Josh took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. "CJ?" he asked.

"You're at my place," she said. "You were having a nightmare."

"Yeah," Josh said licking his lips. His mouth was unbelievably dry.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"I am…now," Josh said. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," CJ replied. "It's fine."

"You like being woken up by a crazy person screaming at two-thirty in the morning?"

"You're not crazy," CJ reassured him.

Josh just looked at her as he took a swig from the bottle of water on the nightstand.

"Do you want to talk about it?" CJ asked.

Josh took a moment before responding. "I was dreaming about tonight," he said slowly. "Except Toby was shot and you…"

"Wouldn't wake up?" CJ ventured.

"Yeah."

"We didn't get shot," CJ reminded him. "Toby and I are both fine."

"I know."

"Is that why you came over tonight? You were still worried about me?"

"Stanley thought maybe I should talk to you," Josh said turning his body to face hers.

"You talked to Stanley?" CJ asked.

"Donna thought it might be a good idea," he shrugged.

"I think she was right," CJ said.

"You do?"

"You've had a lot to deal with lately," CJ said. "If talking to Stanley helps you then you should talk to him."

"Hmm," Josh said as he mulled over her response.

"You talked to Stanley about me?" CJ fished.

Josh shoved his fist under the pillow, lay back down and said, "Yeah, a little."

"How come he wanted you to talk to me?" CJ asked as she lay down and faced him.

"Apparently I mentioned your name a lot when I was talking to him," Josh said. "He thought I should tell you some things instead of telling him."

"So what are you supposed to tell me?" CJ asked.

Josh got quiet and buried his head a little bit further into the pillow in an attempt to hide his face. "Lately you've been in some situations that have kind of scared the hell out of me," he said.

CJ was quiet. She didn't prod, but she let him talk at his own pace.

"The plane thing and then tonight you were in the briefing room when the shots hit the window," Josh explained. "I feel in the like the last couple of weeks there's been a real chance of losing you."

"I'm still here," CJ reminded him.

"I wasn't with you," Josh said.

"Isn't that a good thing?" CJ asked him.

"I feel like I should have been with you guys tonight. I should have been on the plane with you," Josh said.

"You were where you were supposed to be," CJ told him. "And if it makes you feel any better Toby and Will were very protective when they pulled me to ground. Bad things happen, Josh. You don't have to be at the center of all the bad things in the world."

"That's kind of what Stanley said," Josh replied. "I could have just come over here and saved myself a couple hundred bucks."

"You really could have," CJ teased him.

"Seriously though, there's something I need to say," Josh said.

"Okay."

"I know this probably cheesy and I don't say things like this often, but you mean a lot to me Claudia Jean. I never want anything bad to happen to you."

She surprised by how touched she was at Josh's sentiment. Normally she'd tease him about it, but he was so sincere and direct that she couldn't help but feel her eyes get a little glassy. CJ reached out her arms and Josh rested his head her chest. She cradled his head to her and ran her hand gently over the back of his head.

"Me too. You mean a lot to me and I wish you didn't have to deal with the bad things," she said.

Josh wrapped his arm around CJ and held her tight to him as she held him to her. "You weren't scared tonight?" he asked.

"Sure I was," she replied. "But it all happened so fast. I'm still not sure I've processed it all yet. Did you know the glass was bulletproof?"

"In the briefing room?"

"Yes."

"Yeah," Josh replied. "You didn't?"

"I guess I never really thought about it before tonight. It's good to know."

"How are you so calm about all this?"

"About tonight?"

"Tonight, the plane, the guy that was after you," Josh elaborated.

"I don't know," CJ shrugged. "I guess I just have faith that everything will turn out the way it's supposed to."

"Faith? In what?"

"Toby asked me the same thing," she said. "Faith in us."

"I wish I had that kind of faith," Josh replied.

"You don't need it. I've got enough for both of us," CJ assured him. "I got an egg to stand on its end tonight you know."

"No you didn't."

"I really did."

Josh pondered that for a moment. "Do you feel any better?" CJ asked after a moment.

"No, but I'm getting there," he replied.

"Good," CJ said. She leaned down and placed a light kiss on the top of his head. "We're all okay. Just remember that."

They lay there for a while before CJ felt her eyelids get heavy. She gave into the feeling and closed her eyes, still cradling Josh in her arms. Josh feel asleep almost as quickly, his arms draped around CJ, grounding him in the reality that what she said was true. Everyone was okay.

Josh awoke the next morning slowly. First, he became aware of the fact that he was holding onto a woman. He let his mind wake up further and recalled that it was CJ he was holding. He opened his eyes and watched her sleep for a moment before looking at the clock. It was a little after eight-thirty. Josh thought about his schedule and was pleased to realize that it was Saturday. He didn't have to be in the office until ten.

Josh slowly let go of CJ and scooted over to the other side of the bed. He reached for the bottle of water on the nightstand and he took a long swig. He glanced over at CJ again. He hadn't noticed her attire last night. He was in the middle of staving off a breakdown, but now that he was feeling better he noticed how she wore a silky peach camisole. It looked soft and a bit sexy and Josh had the impulse to reach over and run his fingers down her side.

CJ inhaled deeply and stretched a little. She opened her eyes and glanced over at Josh and smiled.

"Good morning," she said.

"'Morning."

"How are you this morning?" she asked as she reached for her own bottle of water and took a sip.

"A lot better," he replied. "Thanks for letting me stay over last night."

"You never have to ask Josh," she replied, setting the bottle of water on the nightstand again.

"I know," he shrugged as he got a little closer to her. "It was nice though. I sleep better when you're around."

"Except for the terrifying nightmares," CJ reminded him.

"Except for that," he conceded.

"Do you want coffee?" CJ asked as she made a motion to get out of bed.

Josh reached out his arm and scooted a little closer to her. He gave into his first impulse, reaching out his hand and caressing her torso over the silky camisole. "Did you sleep well?" he asked.

"I did," CJ replied, scooting herself a little closer to Josh. It looked like it was going to be a more active morning than she'd originally thought. CJ reached out and set her hand on his hip, pulling herself ever closer to him. "I'm glad you slept you well. You seem a little…perky now."

CJ smiled at him and Josh's hand reached the end of her camisole and he boldly slipped his hand under the shirt and slowly worked his fingers up her side. He grinned when he saw that he took CJ by surprise. He could see it in her eyes.

"So, I was thinking that I owe you," Josh said.

"For?" CJ said as she leaned her face very close to his.

"The drink you poured me," Josh said.

"What did you have in mind?" CJ asked.

Josh let his hand wander down her hip and into her shorts. "Well that depends on what time you're going in today," he replied mischievously.

"Never," CJ replied with a small gasp.

"Really?"

"No, but if you keep doing what you're doing, I might reconsider my position," she replied.

"I'd like to reconsider your position," Josh said suddenly moving his hand and throwing all of his weight on top of her. CJ threw her arms around his neck and Josh leaned down and kissed her deeply on her lips. She felt his morning stubble rub along her face.

"It's been a while since we've done this," CJ said.

"Had sex?" Josh asked.

"Yeah, but specifically morning sex. We're usually an after work crowd," she said as she helped him out of his undershirt. She ran her nails down his chest and kissed him again.

"Really? I've always been at my best in the morning," Josh said.

"So you've been holding out on me then," CJ retorted. "Good thing you owe me now."

"Oh we're going to be so very even in a little while," Josh said as he inched up her camisole, savoring the feeling of the silk on her skin. He liberated her from the shirt and tossed it across the room as he started to kiss every bit of her exposed flesh. CJ responded by wrapping her legs around his waist and she pulled him closer to her.

"Josh?" CJ breathed heavily.

"Mmm?"

"Is this about last night?" she asked.

Josh stopped what he was doing and looked at CJ seriously as he considered her question. "If it is, it's okay," CJ added. "I'd just like to know."

"It might be a little bit about last night," Josh replied as he ran his palm over her arm. "But just because it might have a little to do with last night, it doesn't mean I want you any less."

CJ caught his hand with hers and interlaced her fingers with his. She leaned up and kissed him gently on the lips. She thought about her possible responses, but she finally settled on, "It doesn't make me want you any less either."

A while later CJ lay on Josh's chest catching her breath. She felt Josh run his hand through her hair. "Well that was…" he said.

"Yeah," CJ agreed.

"The feeling of being in mortal danger sucks, but the sex that results…" he said.

"Is epic," CJ finished for him.

"It was a little wasn't it?"

"Oh yes," CJ replied. She finally felt that her heart was back to a normal rhythm, but she noted that Josh's heart was still beating a little fast.

CJ propped herself up on Josh's chest lightly and looked at him. "Before, when I asked if this was about what happened," she started. "I just wasn't sure. We haven't been here in a while."

Josh considered that for a moment. "I know," he replied. "I kind of thought maybe we fizzled out."

"Amy has sort of been back in the picture," CJ said.

"Danny is back," Josh commented.

"There's the whole Donna thing," CJ added.

"Donna thing?" he asked.

CJ knew to tread lightly. She was certain that Josh wasn't really cognizant of how he sometimes behaved in regards to Donna. "You two have had a little conflict lately," she said.

"It's not conflict," Josh defended himself. "It's…you've noticed something?"

"A little," CJ replied. "It's fine. I'm agreeing with you. I felt like maybe the window closed on this whole thing with us."

"Last night when I realized what happened," Josh said. "Stanley kept asking me about you. I guess I kept talking about you being in the briefing room. I was fixating on it and on the drink. I just kept thinking if something had happened to you, the last thing that would have happened between us would be you pouring me a drink and me not thanking you for it."

"I promise you that's not the last thought I would have had of you Josh," CJ said seriously.

"No?"

"No."

Josh gave her an impish grin. "What would your last thought of me be?"

CJ chuckled. "That," she said empathically. "That shit-eating grin right there. The one you're giving me right now where your dimple pops out and you look like the cat that ate the canary."

Josh seemed pleased enough with her answer. He rubbed her back lightly. "I'll take it," he replied. "So this thing with us is still on then?"

"I'd say so," CJ said as she inched up and laid her head on the pillow next to Josh.

"I'm glad."

"Me too."

"I'm glad you're still here Claudia Jean," he said quietly.

CJ leaned over and kissed him chastely on the lips. "I don't plan on going anywhere," she assured him.

Josh pulled her close and enjoyed the moment. In a short period of time he'd gone from breaking down to reaffirming whatever strange relationship he had with CJ. It turned out that maybe that was just what he needed to feel like himself again. He just needed to share in a little CJ's faith that everything would be okay.

TBC