Author's Note: This chapter takes place during season five's The Supremes. I know CJ is supposed to be falling for Ben at this point, but there were a few little things I thought left the door open for some good CJ/Josh "what-ifs."

"Drunken Comments"

Josh sat in CJ's office for a minute after she had run out of the office to attend to the senator. He'd had enough forethought and energy to leave Pierce alone long enough to get CJ. He was buzzed. No, actually he was sliding down the hill of buzzed into drunk. Maybe he should have listened to Ryan when he told him not to try to keep up.

Josh sat down for a moment on CJ's couch. He just needed a minute to rally. He had to get his bearings and mind under control. There was still a lot of work to do. He took a deep breath and found he inhaled CJ's perfume. She had started wearing more perfume lately. It was probably because of the park ranger. Suddenly she seemed interested in him. Josh found that kind of irritating. He didn't really know why, but in his drunken state he could firmly admit to himself that he didn't like the ranger one little bit.

He tried to think why it bothered him. He felt like he did whenever Donna had a boyfriend. Maybe he was territorial. He technically thought of CJ as one of his group. This guy came in from nowhere and suddenly CJ seemed smitten after a sizable period of non-interest. Not that it hadn't yielded him a flirty comment from CJ earlier in the day, but the way she laughed when she was talking to him; it irritated Josh. And he found himself annoyed that he was irritated. He had no claim on CJ.

Josh leaned his head back on the couch and ran his hands over his face a few times. The rally he was looking for just wasn't coming.

"Josh? Are you okay?" Carol asked him.

Josh looked behind him to see CJ's assistant behind him. "I'm good," he replied.

"Can I get you some coffee? Water?" Carol asked.

"Izit that bad?" Josh slurred his question.

"I'll get you some water," Carol said.

"Hydration is good. Hydration is a weird word. Weird word," Josh played with the phrase while Carol got him a bottle of water.

Josh took a long pull from the bottle. The cold water cooling his throat made him feel slightly better.

"What do you know about this guy?" Josh asked Carol.

"What guy?" Carol asked.

"The guy CJ's dating," Josh said. Had he been sober he would never pump Carol for information, but Josh's inner censor was currently quite inebriated.

"Ben?" Carol asked. "He's really nice. Quite handsome."

"I've heard tale," Josh said.

"They dated in college I think," Carol said. "He's newly divorced. He's got a daughter and he just got transferred to Washington."

Josh took another sip of water. "You've met him?"

"Yeah, he's been here a few times. I'm surprised you haven't met him."

"I've seen him. I haven't met him."

"Why do you ask?" Carol asked.

Josh hadn't anticipated Carol questioning his motives for playing twenty questions with her. His mind wouldn't work fast enough. "Just curious," Josh replied.

"He seems like a good guy," Carol confirmed.

"How come she changed her mind?" Josh asked.

"Changed her mind?" Carol asked.

"She seemed kind of uninterested until recently."

"I don't know. Maybe he wore her down," Carol said. "He's very earnest."

"Earnest?"

"It's a selling point," Carol confirmed.

"Really."

"Yeah," Carol said. Her phone began to ring and she stood up to go answer it.

Josh finished off the rest of his water and stood up. He didn't feel sober. In fact he might even feel drunker than before, but he knew there was much to be done and so he set out to find Toby and hoped that CJ was holding her own in his abandoned meeting.

The meeting with Pierce was over and the deal for the Supreme Court was done. Everyone had cleared out for the evening. CJ was sitting in her office holding her head. She didn't listen to Josh. She had tried to keep up with Pierce. It hadn't seemed like they were drinking so fast at the time, but, hindsight being 20/20, CJ knew she was feeling pleasantly drunk.

"Hey," Josh said as he entered her office.

"Hey Josh, old buddy, old pal," CJ replied a little too cheerfully.

"I see you're still drunk," Josh said shoving his hands in his pockets.

"I'm not," CJ replied. "I am drinking water." She picked up her water bottle and waved it in front of Josh.

He snickered and walked over to her side of the desk. He leaned on the desk and looked at her. He wasn't drunk anymore, but he was definitely still feeling the effects of the alcohol he had consumed earlier. It made him bolder.

"I can't believe this plan of yours worked," CJ said.

"It was fool-proof," Josh replied.

"Fool-proof?" CJ said giving him a look.

"Or really stupid," he conceded. "But it worked. Evelyn Baker Lang will be the first female Chief Justice."

"It's a coup," CJ said reaching out and squeezing Josh's hand. "I think this eclipses Mendoza."

"Do me a favor and don't tell Toby that okay?"

"It'll be our little secret. But, he's over the moon about this. I think he's just mad he didn't think of it himself."

"He never would have. We had a shouting match outside the Oval when I wanted to bring it to the president," Josh informed her.

"Maybe that's why he's mad," CJ replied. She smiled at him.

"Yeah," Josh said.

Suddenly he was overcome by impulse and, since his full faculties hadn't returned, he acted. He bent forward and kissed CJ on the mouth. It was chaste at first, but then he reached out and ran his hand though her hair. CJ opened her lips to his and Josh took the opportunity to explore her mouth his tongue. Josh thought he heard CJ's breath catch slightly in her throat and suddenly she pulled back. She scooted back in her chair and stood up, backing away from Josh.

"Why did you do that?" she asked.

"I'm sorry," Josh said sheepishly. He wasn't sure he had a good answer to her question.

"You know I'm seeing Ben," CJ chastised him. Josh didn't mention that he felt her return the kiss, even if just for a moment.

"I know," he said. He ran his hand through his hair nervously. "It was old habit. I didn't mean to…you know."

CJ said shook her head. She ran her fingers across her lips. "We're both still a little drunk."

"Yeah," Josh agreed quickly.

"Let's forget it," CJ replied.

"Right," Josh said a little resigned.

"What?"

"What?"

"The way you said 'right' makes me think there's something else," CJ said.

Josh walked around the desk and moved closer to CJ in the center of the office. He wasn't sure what he wanted to say. There something articulated in the far recesses of his brain. If he was completely sober he wouldn't say anything, but, sadly for Josh, he wasn't.

"Who is Ben?" he asked.

"Excuse me?" CJ asked.

"The park ranger," Josh said. "Who is this guy? I mean, Danny I understood, but a park ranger?"

"You're criticizing my choice of boyfriend?" CJ asked in disbelief.

"I'm asking the question because Toby won't," Josh replied.

"Are you serious?" CJ's voice got high and Josh knew he had made a mistake bringing it up, but there was part of him that couldn't help it. CJ's reaction also pissed him off more than it normally would have.

"This guy looks you up in a moment of nostalgia, you dodge his calls for weeks and all of sudden you're giddy as a schoolgirl. What do you know about him? Is this even a good match?"

"Do you really want to consult the list of horrible matches in your past?" CJ shot back. "Let's see there was Mandy, but if we open the book on all the issues with her we'll be here for days. There's Amy, who you can't seem to escape because of the hot, hate sex you have together. And, don't even get me started on Donna."

"Hey!" Josh said. "This isn't about me. And Donna, I don't even know what you mean."

"I think you know exactly what I mean," CJ replied a bit spitefully. If Josh wanted to call her out about touchy things then she was dragging his social life into the fray.

"This has nothing to do with me! I'm asking you who this guy is. I'm just wondering if you're really interested in him or if you're only interested because he's there?"

The moment the words left his lips he knew he'd made a mistake. Internally he'd wanted to ask CJ if this relationship with Ben was just a relationship of convenience, but he never actually thought he'd articulate it.

"Wow," CJ said. He swore he could almost see the air knocked out of her with one comment. She looked shocked and maybe a little hurt. "Does it matter?"

"What do you mean?" Josh asked.

"Why does it matter why I'm with him? I like looking forward to something. I'm sorry if that bothers you."

Josh sighed. He suddenly felt very sober and it was unpleasant feeling. They both took a moment to catch their breath. "I'm just trying to look out for you," Josh said softly.

CJ exhaled loudly. "You have a funny way of doing it."

"If Ben makes you happy then I'm not judging," Josh said.

CJ rubbed her eyes with her hands. She honestly didn't know what to say. "I like laughing," she said. "A lot what we have is reminiscing about the past. Maybe it's not what dreams are made of, but for now, it makes me happy even if only for a little while everyday."

Josh took in her statement. It made him sad.

"You deserve more than having to settle," Josh said.

"Maybe not," CJ replied. She thought of the skeletons in her past, mostly specifically her dalliance with John Hoynes. She wondered if karma was simply paying her back for past indiscretions. In the end it didn't really seem to matter. CJ didn't have a plethora of time to devote to dating anyway.

Josh shoved his hands into his pockets. "Do you ever think things could be different?" he asked.

"With us?" she asked a little boldly.

"Yeah."

"Sometimes."

Josh nodded. "Me too."

"That's not what this is about though," CJ said.

"No," Josh agreed. "I was just checking up on you. I worry sometimes."

"You don't have to worry about me. I'm a big girl."

"Still…"

"So kissing me and picking a fight with me is how you're showing concern," CJ said. There was a hint of softening in her tone, as if she was testing the waters to tease him.

Josh snickered. "I suppose kissing you probably wasn't the best opening."

"No," CJ agreed.

"Sorry about that," he apologized.

"It was my fault too."

"You noticed," Josh teased.

CJ gave him a small smile.

"Are we okay?" he asked.

"We're fine," she said. Josh really looked at her and, surprisingly, he believed her. "You did well today."

"Aside from getting drunk."

"Aside from that," CJ agreed. "But, it happens to the best of us."

"It does," Josh nodded. "I'm gonna go."

"Okay."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"'Night," CJ said as he walked out of her office.

CJ would never been 100% sure, but she felt like the seeds of discontent with her relationship with Ben might have started that night. She sat back down at her desk and ran her fingers across her lips again. Maybe Josh was right. Maybe she was settling.

She tried to think about how things had progressed with Ben and she realized that a lot of it was based in the past. Yes, he made her laugh, but was she truly content when she was with him? She reached forward and turned off her computer for the night. She didn't want to dwell on heavy things tonight. There would be plenty of time for that later.

TBC