Its been a while since I last updated, I'm real sorry. Ah, well its been busy and all, with school and you know. But spring break is starting next week so I hopefully can make up all those weeks I missed!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own in any way shape or form, Allen, Kanda, or Lenalee. I do own the name Alice though. Heh heh heh.

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My heart sunk at the thought of Lenalee, why did she like Kanda so much? It made me sad to think that he didn't like her back. It must be terrible for her. But who wouldn't like Kanda? Aside from his nasty attitude, he looks as perfect as an angel. Its no wonder girls and boys, mind you, stare at him when he walks down the street, he's so perfect.

Perfect.

That word makes my heart ache. I wish I could be perfect, but I'm not, I'm just not. Sitting in the car, it made me wonder for the first time in a week or two. What are my parents doing right now? I wonder if they're worrying about me? I shook my head clear of silly thoughts, my Mother told me she didn't like me, but, but what about Father? Does he think I'm a devil child too? I looked at myself in the rearview mirror, I'm not that ugly am I?

"What're you staring at?" Kanda asked gruffly. "I need to see behind me, damnit!" He swerved the car, I was swung to the right, I winced in pain, I still wasn't fully healed from the whole car accident thing. Did my parents visit me when I was in the hospital at all? I didn't get anything from them, no flowers, no cards, no balloons. The last time I was in the hospital for pneumonia, my room was full of all sorts of things, my parents even brought a singer to come sing for me. But this time, there was nothing, I felt like, like, I didn't want to say it, I felt, like no one loved me. And when Lenalee came to see me, it pushed me further, further, further into reality. I didn't want to face the truth. I liked my dream world. With my perfect Mother and Father, when they still loved me and cared for me. But now, everything has changed, they don't care about me anymore. They don't care if I die, they didn't care this time, they wouldn't care any other time either.

"Kanda?"

"Hm." He grunted. Clutching the steering wheel, he was holding it so tight his knuckles were white.

Do you really love me or are you just feeling sorry for me?

"You seem a little stressed." I placed a soft hands on his larger ones. I decided not to ask him that. It wouldn't be very nice of me. It would show that I was doubting him, yet again. I didn't want to doubt him, but there was so much of it in my life, I didn't know what to do! What was I supposed to think? How was I supposed to think? There was no other way to think, I knew no other way. I had been taught no other way.

"Che, you think? I've been driving at 100 fucking miles an hour trying to get away from that god damned annoying Lenaleee. Of course I'm stressed." He gritted his teeth.

I looked down. "Ah, well…I'm sorry?"

He didn't reply, so I just looked back and saw a number of shiny black cars, Lexus, Lexus, BMW, Mercedes, Cadillac, Cadillac, Mercedes, Lexus, I counted. I looked at the steering wheel of the car I was currently in, I don't even know what it was, probably some foreign sports car of sorts. He suddenly turned into the parking lot of an old mansion, opened the window, punched in a code that opened the gate, and sped into the circle drive in front. The gate closed behind us.

"Where is this?" I squeaked, the swerving had taken a massive toll on my physical health. I hurt all over. I probably developed some nice bruises as well.

Kanda looked up, "It's my old house."

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It was short and I'm sorry for that.

But its like 1Am

And I've got to go to bed.

Night guys.

~byrdie.