Author's Takes place during season six's "Faith-Based Initiative." The comment Josh makes when CJ sinks the basketball is memorable, but he also leaves in the team in this episode and while we kind of got to see Toby's reaction to the news, we never really got to see Josh tell CJ he was leaving.

"It's Over Now"

CJ was getting ready for a meeting with the Speaker of the House and the Majority delegation when she heard a quick tap on the door frame.

"Hey," Josh said.

CJ glanced up quickly before rushing around her desk to pull together some more papers. "Hey," she replied. She mentally pushed away the thought she had of Josh saying he was attracted to her earlier. It was getting a little easier to keep thoughts of going to bed with him away, but when they intruded upon her mind she had difficulty shutting them out completely.

"Do you have a minute?" he asked.

As if on cue Margaret entered the office from the other door and said, "CJ they're assembled in the Roosevelt Room."

"Thanks Margaret," CJ said. She looked at Josh and said, "I have about thirty seconds."

Josh nodded and tried to hide the disappointment on his face. "I can come back," he replied.

CJ looked up and saw how his face fell when she said she didn't have the time. "Margaret," she called. "Get them something to drink and give me two minutes."

Margaret nodded and left the office, closing the door behind her. Josh took the signal and entered the office closing the other door behind him.

"We could've talked later," he said.

"It looked important," CJ replied. "What's going on?"

Josh took a deep breath. He knew this was going to be one of the hardest conversations of his life. He wasn't even sure how to start and so for a moment he just stood in front of her and rocked back and forth on his feet.

"Josh? I've got like twelve people sitting in the Roosevelt Room waiting for me right now," CJ reminded him.

"Right," he said. "It's just, I'm a little unsure of how to…lately I've felt a little out of it."

"I know."

"Like I'm here but I'm not really here," Josh tried to explain further.

"Okay, Josh, I'd love to tell you to take your time, but I'm already late for a meeting so…"

Josh took a deep breath and handed CJ a folded letter. "This is what I'm trying to tell you," he said.

CJ felt her heart fall into her stomach as she took the letter from him and unfolded it, reading it slowly. Toby had told her not four hours ago that Josh had one foot out the door. She knew that Hoynes and Russell were after him and she tried to pretend that this wasn't what she thought.

"What is this?" she asked before she was halfway down the page.

"It's my letter of resignation," he said.

"I see that," CJ said. She was still in denial that this was real. She sat down behind her desk out of the sheer fact that she thought her legs might give way under her. "You and Toby did this joke a few weeks ago and as funny as it was then, now is really not the time."

"It's not a joke. I'm really leaving," Josh said.

CJ looked at him confused for a moment before the truth washed over her face. Josh watched her expression go from puzzled to hurt in a fraction of a second. Hurt would have been bad enough, but unfortunately for Josh he thought he saw anger in her eyes before she yelled, "Margaret!"

The door opened and Margaret entered. "Yes?"

"I'm going to need more than two minutes please."

"Sure," Margaret said before leaving and closing the door again.

Once it was Josh and CJ locked in the office she took a moment of silence. Josh finally down sat in the opposite chair. He leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees.

"Why?" CJ asked sadly.

"Things are so infinitely different than they were CJ," Josh struggled to find the words. "We talked about this a few weeks ago. I just feel like I can't do it anymore."

"But why?' she asked again.

"Someone's got to think about the next four years," he replied.

"You're going to work for Hoynes?" she asked in surprise.

"No."

"Russell?" she asked. If the situation wasn't so serious Josh would have laughed at her worried expression thinking he'd work for Russell.

"No," he said. "I…Leo told me that I should find a guy and I did. Matt Santos."

"The congressman from Texas," she said.

"Yeah," Josh replied.

"I don't understand this," she said. Her tone was defeated.

"Leo was the president's guy and I was Leo's guy. With Leo gone…I'm no one's guy anymore. I'm floundering CJ and I just can't...Someone has to look out for the next term. It's like Will said, after eight years you don't pick up your ball and go home. There's still work to be done. I need to be someone's guy again."

"You are someone's guy," CJ shot back. "You're still the president's guy even if you think you're not and besides that you're my guy Josh. As an afterthought she added, "Tell me this has nothing to do with the fact that it's me sitting in this chair and not you."

"It doesn't," he said a little too quickly. "This has been coming for a while. I just didn't realize it. First Angela came in and then everything with Donna and Leo…it's been a long time coming."

"This is bullshit and you and I both know it," CJ spat at him.

"He doesn't want my opinion anymore CJ. That's what we both know. I dropped the ball one too many times and he's not calling my number. I used to be on the inside and now I'm nowhere. And let's not forget my career track. What have I got? I can't move up."

"So this is about me sitting here," CJ replied.

"No! It's about not giving the keys to the Republicans. I can't live with the thought of a President Russell, can you?" he asked.

"Russell? No. Hoynes maybe, but not Russell."

"You'd actually back Hoynes?" Josh asked, surprised.

"There'd be comfort in the fact that regardless of who he is personally, he knows what he's doing politically. I don't know Matt Santos, Josh and I don't think you do either."

"Leo encouraged me to do this. Leo knows what the party needs. He knows what it's like for me."

"And I don't?" CJ asked. "You talk about changing Josh, let's talk about it. Sam left, Leo almost died, I got thrown into this job, the president is barely able to work a seven hour day and now you're leaving. You're leaving me and Toby to do a job that takes a team. You want to feel needed? I need you. I don't know how to make it any plainer than that. I need you here."

Josh looked at her and his heart broke. If Leo hadn't encouraged him to go out and look for the next generation of leader he probably would have stuck it out. He probably could have endured it because he wasn't a quitter, but when he really thought about it, he couldn't take the chance that Bob Russell could be president. As much as it killed him, he had to leave, no matter how much CJ pleaded with him to change his mind.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

CJ ran her hand over her eyebrow. She fidgeted with the letter in her hand. She saw the look on his face. She knew she had lost him. There was nothing she could say. Even if she offered him her job, he was really leaving. Toby was right when he said Josh had one foot out the door. She just didn't realize how far out the door he really was.

"I never thought it would be you," she said quietly as she tossed his letter on the desk.

"What?"

"In the last few months, I've had these thoughts…it's always Toby," she replied. "It was always him. He's had trouble dealing with this. I figured he'd tell me to go to hell or he'd tell the president he was insane and that would be it. I thought it would be me and you until the end. I never envisioned doing this without you."

Josh was a little shocked by her admission. Yes, Toby had been a little more difficult since he had to take orders from CJ, but he never really thought he'd leave. Apparently CJ had other thoughts. Josh was at a loss for words. She looked so sad.

"I don't know what to say," Josh admitted.

"When do you need to leave?" she asked quietly.

"Filing deadline is Thursday in New Hampshire," Josh replied softly. He picked at a thread on his pants rather than look at her.

CJ bit her lower lip. She wasn't sure if it was to stop the feeling of tears that were building in her eyes or if it was to stop herself from screaming. He wanted to leave immediately and she definitely wasn't prepared for that.

"So you're telling me that today is your last day then?" she asked. "Because you're here, but you're not here."

"I guess I am," Josh said. "I have to go with Santos. I kind of talked him into running. I laid out this plan and he doesn't want to do it without me."

"Who would?" CJ replied a little bitterly.

"Claudia Jean," Josh said. He'd seen this look in her eyes before. It was on the campaign trail when he was fairly certain he'd broken her heart. She'd never admit it of course, but he knew deep down inside that it was true. Little did she know that his heart was broken that day too. He swore to himself years ago that he'd never be the one to make her look that way again. It was just another way in which he'd failed.

"Don't," she said sitting up straighter. Josh saw the moment where she shut down her feelings and put her game face back on. "It's fine. The president is in the office for a few hours. I'll have Margaret get you some time with him."

"It doesn't have to be like this," he said.

"Like what?" she said.

"We've been through too much to just leave things…" he shrugged.

"Unfinished?" she asked. "I'm not Josh. You're the one leaving. Without giving me much time to find a deputy either."

"I'll get you some names," he said.

"Don't worry about it," she replied.

"CJ-"

"I'm not mad Josh," she said. "It's just one more thing on the to-do list. It's fine."

She stood up from behind her desk. "Are you going to stay for the rest of the day?" she asked.

"I was planning on it," Josh said standing awkwardly.

"I'll try to get you in to the see the president as soon as possible. I'm sure you've got a lot to get done before Thursday. You're going to do a big announcement?"

"We're doing an announcement," Josh shrugged. He was trying to process what was happening. He'd expected yelling or the silent treatment, but she surprised him by resorting to business as usual. "I guess introducing the candidate is kind of important at this juncture."

"I can't say I envy you there. I barely know who Matt Santos is and I work in the White House," CJ replied. He was actually glad she got in a little dig. If she was angry she couldn't be completely indifferent to him.

Josh stood up. "I won't leave until we get a clean budget," he said.

She gave him a sideways look. "That's sweet, but we both know the president is in there getting a clean budget right now," she said.

She was gathering her things to get to her meeting. Josh felt impulsive and he reached out and grabbed her arm in mid-air. She looked at him with surprise for a moment. "What?" she asked.

It was such a simple question. What? What did he want or need from her at that moment? They'd been through years together and it seemed too simple to just walk out of her office with a hug and pat on the back. He knew he'd see her again of course, but this seemed final in some way. He wouldn't see her every day ever again.

He wanted to tell her how much she meant to him, how he valued her friendship above all others. He wanted to tell her that he once loved her, really and truly loved her, in ways that he couldn't even think about lest he kick himself for letting her get away. He wanted to tell her that he treasured the moments they spent in each other's arms and he'd never forget them.

"I wanted to say that if you need a guy to vouch for your sexual preference, I'm available now that we're not working together anymore," he joked as he let go of her arm. He teased her. He wanted to kick himself.

She smiled at him sadly. She had wanted him to say so much more. "I might take you up it," she joked back.

"I'm sure I've got a scandalous picture somewhere," he added.

"You better not," CJ replied with a sad smile. "I've got to get to this meeting."

"Right," he said.

Before she picked up her notebook she wrapped her arms around Josh in a tight hug. He couldn't recall the last time she clung so tightly to him. CJ felt a lump in her throat start to burn and she knew she had to let go before her professional façade disappeared. She broke the clinch and gave him a peck on the cheek.

"Good luck," she said. She felt her voice was thick with the tears that she was choking back. "I'll have Margaret get you in with the president as soon as she can."

"Thanks," Josh said.

CJ walked over to the door, notebook in hand and turned the handle. She turned to him before opening the door and said, "It's been a privilege mi amour."

Before Josh could say anything she was out the door and speaking to Margaret. Josh turned his back to the open door and wiped the single tear that fell from his eye. He knew that telling the president he was leaving would be the hardest thing he'd ever have to do, but damned if telling CJ he was leaving wasn't the most emotional.

TBC