Title: Runaround Affair

Summary: Valentine's Day is coming. If only Vincent could convince Cid that he was not trying to get into Yuffie's pants...

Pairing: Chaos, Hellmasker, Galian, Death Gigas, Vincent X Cid.

Warnings: ...Hell. Cid bottoms, ChaosCid, VincentCid, swearing, graphicness, violence, grammar, spelling, yadda, yadda, yadda. Anything goes in one of mine! NOT FOR CHILDREN!

Disclaimer: I own very little; FFVII is not among the items on my list

"Condoms..." Vincent repeated, the word sounding foreign on his tongue.

"Yeah! Yer gonna need 'em if ya plan on marryin' the Brat!" Cid said. "Now, ya won't need 'em for the first date, obviously. But definitely by the time the weddin' is over! They come in all different colors, shapes, sizes..."

"You want me...to buy condoms?"

"Well ya sure as fuck ain't gonna rent 'em! ...Ya ain't a virgin, are ya, Val?"

"No!"

"No need ta get testy, Val! Ain't like I was askin' what position ya like her ta be in when ya...ya know."

"On his back," Chaos said with a smirk. "Completely bare with his legs spread wide and lifted over his head as I fuck his delicious, little body raw and hard..."

"Shut it," Vincent hissed at the demon as the front of his leather pants constricted.

"So, ya got that all fer yer date? Flowers, chocolates, place, an' gift..." Vincent nodded, making Cid grin widely as his heart fluttered and cock stiffened even more. "Great! Speakin' 'a chocolate. We got any s'mores?"

"S'mores?"

"Yeah, graham crackers, chocolate, marshmallow, fire. ...God, yer sheltered, Val. Go get some an' I'll so ya. An' don't get the crappy white 'r milk chocolate, either!" he called out after the gunner who left the room.

"This could prove to be interesting," Chaos purred. "Perhaps we could make a mess of the blonde. ...He will need another bath."

"Shut up," Vincent snapped as he walked down the empty hallway as his face blushed at the memory of the Captain's last bath; the blonde was unconscious and the brunette was futilely attempting to bathe his while keeping his hands from straying.

"Why? You seemed to enjoy fingering the human while he slept."

"Cidney tight," Galian growled.

"Very vocal..." Hellmasker added while Death Gigas sulked.

"Shut up...all of you," Vincent said as he raided the kitchen for the items Cid wanted. Carrying the items back to the pilot's room, he paused in the doorway as he looked in shock at the blonde. The blonde was sitting on the bed with his legs spread and his hand down his pants.

"Well, THAT is an invitation if I've ever seen one!" Chaos said as he licked his lips.

"Chief," Vincent said, cock pulsing as the blonde looked over at him.

"What? My balls itch! The fuck did Teef do ta the laundry?"

"Your balls itch..."

"Yeah!"

"We can distract him of that," Chaos said with a lustful purr.

"And you believe Tifa did something to the laundry?" Vincent asked, trying to keep his eyes off of the blonde's crotch as he ignored the demon.

"Duh! Why else would my balls itch like a mother?"

"I know not."

"Yer really helpful, Val! Did ya get the stuff?"

"Yes. Maybe we should get something for your..."lower extremities"?"

"Nah," Cid said as he removed his hand before waving Vincent over. "Well? Come here, ya clueless fuck!"

"Oh yeah," Chaos said, "we are the clueless fuck. He cannot even figure out that you are gay!"

Vincent walked over as Cid set up a small candle, having the gunner lit it before he showed the gunner how to warm the marshmallows to a golden brown and assemble the s'mores. Biting down into his own s'more, the gunner hummed at how the bitter chocolate mixed the sweeter crackers and marshmallow. The blonde grinned at him, chocolate coating his lips as he ate.

"Good, huh?"

"Yes. ...You have chocolate on your face," Vincent said, smirking slightly as he watched the blonde lick his lips, chocolate stick stubbornly coating them.

"I say we help the poor human out, host," Chaos goaded.

"Here..." The gunner leaned close, folding the tall cowl of his cloak down before running his tongue across the blonde's lips. Smirking as he pulled back, his red irises stared into shocked blue orbs. "Much better," he murmured thickly, voice deep and dark as he gripped the shorter man by his golden locks, pulling him in for a deep kiss before pushing his tongue into the blonde's parted lips. Moving closer as he kissed the blonde, Vincent slowly pushed the blonde down until he was lying on his back. Metallic fingers caressed Cid's soft cock through the thick denim of his jeans.

Smirking at the moan that came from the injured blonde, the brunette pulled back as he licked his lips, eyes swirling with color as he looked down at the bewildered pilot. "Mm, that was very good, Chief. So good..." he purred as he leaned down to whisper heatedly in his ear, "that I want more..."

Without giving the other man's brain a chance to catch up with what he said and process it, Vincent pressed their lips together roughly, his gloved and clawed hands tearing through the fabric of his shirt before tweaking his stiffening nipples. He smirked at the sound caught in the blonde's throat as he arched into the touch, fingers gripping the thick material of his crimson cloak. Breaking the kiss for air, the brunette looked down at the blonde, feeling pride at the dark blush that covered his face.

"Th-the fuck are ya doin'?" Cid snapped, voice lacking any ferocity.

"Kissing you," Vincent replied. "But I'm going to do so much more to you..."

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Thanks for reviewing:

Haru-HaruGD: Soon-ish? Thanks!

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reloudypie: Rarely; I forget to update this and I try to follow my policies on my profile. P.S. Do not read Try Again And Again. Your name suggests that is won't be your cup of tea.

Aeriths-Rain: Blonde knows no bounds. Ask Kigichi, she's seen me do some stupid things...

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